Jake Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major Gen
by selmak
Summary: Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a lifechanging event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens. Completed 205
1. Let Me Go Home

**_Let me go home  
Why don't they let me go home  
This is the worst trip I've ever been on_**

**_So hoist up the John B's sail  
See how the mainsail sets  
Call for the Captain ashore  
Let me go home, let me go home  
I wanna go home, let me go home  
Why don't you let me go home_**

**_Sloop John B – Beach Boys_**

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**_Story:_**

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**_The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General _**

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**_Let Me Go Home – Part I_**

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**_Rating: PG – 13 _**Jake and Sel do curse a bit.**__**

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**_Synopsis: _**

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Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

We join our heroine and her host when Jacob Carter, Major General, USAF Retired, is debating a critical issue worth of the new Liaison to the Tok'ra. It is approximately two to three weeks after he blended with Selmak and they are debating intense philosophical issues, full of the promise of the new Tok'ra – Tau'ri Alliance.

**_? Bold Italics ?_** Is when Selmak is thinking to Jacob so he can hear her.

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**_A curtain rod and a curtain._**

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**_Yes. Perfect._**

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**_It would have to be one of those spring tension rods, so I could take it with me whenever we're on the run._**

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"General Carter?"**__**

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**_It could be also used as a weapon of defense. Throw the curtain at the bad snakeheads, let it entangle them, and then beat them over the head with the curtain rod. _**

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**_? SNAKEHEADS?!?!?!?!?! ?_**

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The resulting protest from his very own personal Headsnake regarding the offensive term in question sounded more like an indignant squawk than a hiss of protest. It had been only a few short weeks since he had … blended… with Selmak and his mind had become the equivalent of a mental milkshake full of memories, his, hers and theirs. He found that he was becoming used to her mental hullabaloo, and he even could tell her mood from the background noise in his head. Muttering meant she was thinking of something, silence foretold that she was thinking very deeply and humming foretold trouble as it meant that she felt… whimsical.

He would even swear that while the two of them were 'blending' that Selmak had crooned to him. It had been a comforting sound, a calming reassurance that she was with him, and that he wasn't going mad.

But now she was **_pissed_**. And God help him when Selmak was pissed, because she usually thwacked him inside the head mentally a few times. And she was a rather cranky headsnake. m

**_? SNAKEHEADS?!?!?!?!?! And now you're CALLING me a HEADSNAKE?!?!?!?_**

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**_THWACK! THWACK!_**

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Both sides of the cranium, however did she manage that?

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**_Blame O'Neill for calling them that, because I can't stop thinking of the Tok'ra as that now, even though I am now a card-carrying member of the Rebellion of Good Snakeheads. _**

"Ah…. General Carter?"

The soft voice once again interrupted his thoughts, quietly requesting permission to disturb him during his meditation.

Jacob Carter nodded his head in silent assent for the voice to continue. He was sitting on his bed, in his room that looked exactly like the myriad of other cubicles formed from the tunnels, pondering deep thoughts on how he could obtain a curtain for his doorway.

But first things first.

**_Is it really a doorway if there isn't a door?_**

It was fine and dandy that the Tok'ra were one big happy family who didn't hide anything from one another, but Jacob Carter --- Air Force General, Retired, Earth Liaison to the Tok'ra--- wanted privacy. In the innermost corner of his mind, a in place that he didn't want to share with anyone, especially not a certain symbiote by the name of Selmak, he wondered if the real reason the Tok'ra were so communal was that it would be difficult for a spy to go unnoticed by the collective. Naturally, she jumped on that thought.

**_? Cordesh was extremely sociable and gregarious, unlike you. ?_**

But Jacob was a Tau'ri Tok'ra, a fact of which he was constantly reminded. The other Tok'ra with their softly dismissive tones often brushed aside his questions and suggestions, "You view things as a Tau'ri."

A Child of the first planet.

And as a child of the first planet, he had certain inalienable rights, pun intended.

The sacred privilege to pee in private without comments from the mental peanut gallery was top of the list.

The civil liberties of privacy and tranquility would be damn well appreciated also. His neighbors were exceptionally vocal during their nocturnal exercises, and the crystal tunnels echoed. Bad enough he had to hear it, but the sight of Garshaw and her boy toys had nearly traumatized him into a psychotic breakdown when he had taken the sixth left to his crystal cube, rather than the seventh.

Then they had caught their breaths long enough to invite him to join them.

Fortunately, Selmak had realized that he was just a hick kid from the sticks, who join the Air Force because he wanted to fly. His life up until now hadn't prepared him for the joys of Tok'ra sex in which the symbiote 'assisted' their host's gratification. To be honest, Jake was quite relieved that Selmak hadn't offered to demonstrate that particular technique on him. Even though his wife had died almost two decades previously, Jake still wore his wedding ring and honored his wedding vows even though death had parted him from Anne.

Selmak had thanked Garshaw for the offer, but explained that Jake was still recuperating, and did not wish to disappoint them with his body's current limitations. Selmak's snort of laughter echoed loudly in his head even as he remembered his utter embarrassment.

Once again, he wished he had someone to ask if he had done the right thing in agreeing to be her host.

Death might have been preferable.

Especially after the first few hours when he had realized that the Most Beloved, Ancient, Wisest and Opinionated of the Tok'ra had **_no_** previous experience in a male host.

**_? Next time, warn me that our bladder's going to explode! ?_**

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**_I couldn't get a word in edgewise remember? You were too busy chewing the fat, and you decided to ignore me. Then you decided that you could handle it, even though it was pretty damn apparent to everyone that you're not familiar with my personal plumbing equipment. I'm just glad Martouf didn't offer to help you even though he looked like he wanted to assist. _**

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Selmak gave a very off-color comment, and once again, Jacob wondered to whatever Deity-Pretending-Alien that might listening, why he had been blessed with her. Probably nobody else had wanted her, as they all knew her personality. Saroosh had seemed like such a nice, sweet, little old lady, how the **_hell_** had she put up with Selmak for almost two hundred years?

**_? HEY!!! ?_**

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Or was it just mean that his karma had finally caught up with him? God knows nobody in his family liked him. Probably Mark would laugh his ass off if he ever knew that his father's new subconscious friend sounded _exactly_ like his mother. Selmak's mental voice was even the same throaty alto.

**_Jacob, why can't you wipe your feet off before you come into the tunnels? I hate it when you track mud into the tunnels with your damn combat boots. _**

To calm himself, he decided to meditate on curtains and tune out his internal Jiminy Cricket. Nice, bright curtains that he could use to politely tell everyone to leave him alone.

**_What color though? I'm tired of Air Force Blue and the muted blue and brown colors of the tunnels... How about… scarlet? To match the Scarlet TT's that are emblazoned on my chest for Tau'ri Tok'ra. Maybe… Sunshine Yellow for the sun I no longer see. I wish they'd let me onto the surface just once._**

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**_How long must I stay confined in these tunnels? They don't trust me yet, as I'm not completely Tok'ra. How long will it take for me to earn their trust? Years, decades…centuries?_**

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"Ah…. General Carter?"

He heard his name mentioned again, and his symbiote, Selmak, gave him a not so gentle mental prod. It was akin to having his brains hit by a blacksmith's hammer, and wincing, he rubbed his head. She gave him another mental rap on his cerebellum with her psychic knuckles when she heard his not-so-dear term of tacit endearment.

Jake was sure that it wasn't appropriate symbiotic behavior that she hit him mentally again; it had been an automatic response on his part to compare her to a certain four-legged female Terran animal.

**_? Answer him! ?_**

"Yes, Martouf?" Jacob answered, wondering what question Martouf was going to ask him, **_now_**.

It had taken him an hour to explain to Martouf that Jack O'Neill wasn't being malicious when he called him Marty. It was only through years of dealing with the Chiefs of Staff that he was able to lie with a straight face and assure Martouf that O'Neill was using a chummy diminutive of his name. Like Jake and Jacob, only Martouf and Marty.

Hopefully, it would annoy O'Neill when Marty… Martouf failed to rise to the bait.

His life was scarce of such small amusements.

**_? I don't know why he bothers with you, as you're downright surly. ?_**

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**_If that ain't the pot calling the kettle black!_**

"Forgive me if I have disturbed you," Martouf said.

Jake waved his hand, mentally warning Selmak to get off her high symbiote and behave, as he wasn't capable of having two conversations at the same time. This mental conversation took place even while Martouf apologized at length for having disturbed Jacob. It wasn't that he didn't like Martouf, of all the Tok'ra, Martouf and Lantesh were the only ones that went out of their way to speak with him. But the boy's apologies were so damn long-winded…

The boy was older than he was, he reminded himself. Martouf just looked really good for his age, unlike Jake, who looked like ten miles of bad highway next to him, even though he was more than fifty years younger. Sometimes, he wondered if he was really schizophrenic, and that this entire adventure was nothing more than an exceptionally bizarre hallucination. Perhaps Selmak would disappear one day with an audible pop into a lithium-colored-haze.

**_Would that be a good thing? _**

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**_Or a bad thing?_**

"Go ahead, shoot away," Jacob prompted generously when he realized that Martouf had finished talking and was expecting an appropriate response from the wildly inappropriate newest member of the Tok'ra Bunch.

He received an all too familiar blank look of incomprehension combined with a dawning look of sheer righteous indignation. No one could ever appear as blamelessly affronted as a Tok'ra could.

**_? Except for _****_Jaffa_******

"I am not here to **_shoot_** you, General Carter." Martouf said indigently. "We are…"

"It's an expression, Martouf. It means, **_ask away_**," Jake said.

* * *

**_? I don't know why you didn't want to join him… for the Tok'ra Movie night, as you called it. It was considerate of him to ask, Jacob. ?_**

****

For a wonder, Selmak's mental tone was free of waspishness.

If anything, her voice reminded him of the times he had been peering at the mountains of paperwork on his desk, haphazardly placed and in imminent danger of causing an avalanche of forms. Those were the moments his wife, Anne, had tried to convince him that the paperwork would wait another day, and that he should play hooky. Thanks to his recent blending, he could remember her better than ever, including how much Sammy looked like her mother.

It was almost twenty years since Anne died. How close it was to the anniversary, he wasn't sure now due to how the Tok'ra counted time in the tunnel. When he had left Earth, the anniversary had been twenty-seven days away. But his sleeping schedule was skewed lately, with power naps and long stretches of wired insomnia his constant companions. Of the two, Jake hated the insomnia the most, as all he could do was sit in his cube and think or walk the tunnels until he was exhausted. Sitting and thinking usually wound him up more as he thought about Anne, Mark and Sammy, and walking the tunnels was a recipe for frustration. Right, left, counterclockwise, up and down all looked the same as the décor of the Tok'ra Tunnels was sheer, unrelenting geometric shapes.

Selmak tried to be a sounding board, but he wasn't comfortable talking with her. Other Tok'ra could simply think their conversations with their symbiotes while he spoke out loud to Selmak. He could perceive her mental voice now and then, and other times, she had to physically speak to him.

Hopefully, it would get easier.

God knows it couldn't get any worse.

Normally, if he was in the States, he always went to Anne's grave in the Cemetery of the Holy Innocents in Denver on the anniversary of her death. Due to his lymphoma, he hadn't expected to be among the living this year, so he had preplanned his ritual. Like always, there would be flowers and a mass at the Church of the Blessed Sacrament.

This time, like far too many other times in his past, he wouldn't be there physically.

Spiritually, he would be there.

If he only knew what Earth date today was.

Such deep thoughts naturally brought memories of her to his mind.****Sometimes, Jacob thought that he was reliving his life as the sensations and the emotions were as intense as when they had first occurred.

Her blonde hair.

Her blue eyes.

The feel of her hand on his shoulder.

The scent of her perfume. He had first bought it for her when he had been stationed overseas and for whatever reason, she had decided that it was the only perfume she would ever wear. For that reason, the subtle smell of roses and honeysuckle always brought her forcefully to his mind. But he would never smell those fragrances again as he was permanently banished to the sterile confines of a Tok'ra tunnel.

Liaison to the Tok'ra, his bloody ass.

If he didn't know better, it was just a way to ship him off to a dead-end assignment where he would never be heard from again. But George wouldn't have done that to him intentionally, he knew.

It had seemed like an ideal assignment to be a liaison to a race technically superior to his own. Other cultures had always fascinated him, and he had picked up a smattering of languages through being stationed at various bases throughout his career. He was fluent in Italian and knew enough Japanese to get him in and out of trouble, but… the Tok'ra… they didn't seem to have a culture beyond their driving need to destroy the Goa'uld.

No music, no opera, no literature. **_Nothing_**.

They didn't even have **_coffee_**!

**_NO LIQUOR_**, for the love of God.

What they had… was…a cultural mishmash and an aversion for thinking 'outside the tunnel' if you will. After the first few days, he realized that the Tok'ra never listened to anything he said except when they found it offensive to their biased view of the universe. They had had a collective snit after their last discussion on how the Tau'ri were imperfect and limited as allies when he had reminded them that the Tau'ri had killed Ra, which was more than the Tok'ra had ever done in their two thousand years of hiding in tunnels.

And Selmak had responded, "My host is blunt, but correct."

That thought roused Selmak and she suggested a course of action.

**_? Jacob, you need to be diplomatic when dealing the Tok'ra. We're far older than you, and we deliberate about everything we do. You Tau'ri have such short lives, yet you accomplish so much in them. For now, just get to know us, Jacob. Talk to symbiote and host alike, so you can understand us. ?_**

Dear God, she sounded like his wife.

_"Go play ball with the kids, Jake. Play with them and get to know them, Jake. It's been so long since you've been home, and they've grown like weeds."_

That thought brought back a darker scene. He was viewing her body lying in a morgue tray, knowing that he had failed her. Her eyes closed, her mouth stilled forever more. Her silent cries of abandonment and her soundless accusations that **_he_** had done this to **_her_** through his inattention echoed through his heart and soul. Jake had noticed then that he couldn't smell her perfume. Instead all he could smell was the stink of blood and the bleach used to clean the morgue.

Reliving it, he could feel George Hammond's iron grip on his upper arms, as though George was trying to keep him standing upright. Jacob would only realize much later that he had bruises from George's grasp on his arms. At the time, he had been grateful for the physical pain, as he had focused on it, rather than the grief that was threatening to overwhelm him.

_"Jacob, you've got to be strong. You need to go home and tell your children what happened."_

He rubbed his head, trying not to recall what had happened next, but still hearing the words that conveyed his son's raw hatred. They were only words, and he had heard them over and over throughout the years. Each time he vowed that the words would lose their sting, but they never had. Instead, they had festered deeper and deeper into his heart.

_It's your fault she's dead. You couldn't pick her up at the airport. No, she had to take a taxi because of you. Why couldn't it have been you!_

**_And when I was dying, you had the last laugh, Mark, didn't you? You couldn't even be bothered to see your old man; you were probably practicing your dance steps to do the salsa on my grave._**

Willing it not to hurt, it still did. And now it would hurt for decades, perhaps centuries to come, as Selmak had been reassured him repeatedly that he was in perfect health.

**_I had almost looked forward to dying, because that meant I wouldn't have to deal with how I royally screwed up my kids. My son won't talk to me because he wishes I would rot in hell, and my daughter's got a fixation on her CO who reminds me too much of a younger me. God, Sam, why O'Neill? Couldn't you pick someone like George? At least his kids talk to him._**

Jake couldn't deal with a Tok'ra meet and greet right now; so instead, he decided it was time to go to sleep. He was tired, truly he was, but he wasn't sure if he was physically tired or just mentally exhausted. Perhaps his fatigue was a combination of both.

"Selmak, I'm tired, and I want to sleep. I'm still getting adjusted to everything and everyone," he protested when she gently questioned him about going to bed right after the evening meal.

**_? I know. I can feel your exhaustion, Jacob. Don't worry, your tiredness is only transitory and the phase should pass soon. ?_**

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"Thank you, Selmak," he said dutifully.

Truly, Jacob did appreciate that she had saved his life, but now, his new environment was overwhelming him. So many strange faces, yet each was familiar to him. Not only did he know their names, he could recall every one of their previous physical hosts.

**_Now I've got new responsibilities and no doubt I'm gonna fuck everything up. The tensions among the Tok'ra are almost palpable, as each different faction have such extreme views on the Tau'ri. Most don't want anything to do with us, as we don't have anything to help them in their war against the Goa'uld. I need to bring this group together, and convince them that we are necessary allies. _**

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**_Dear God, don't let me fuck this up as now the fate of humanity's new alliance with the Tok'ra is riding on my shoulders. Why me? Why not George? George could work a room, smooze and politic. He tried teaching that to me, but I lack the gene for people skills. I have no people skills whatsoever. _**

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Jake kicked off his boots and neatly put them near the bed. He was about to change into his sleeping robe, when he stopped. He **_knew_** that the others worried about Selmak's new Chosen, as Jacob was already gaining a reputation for being solitary. Tok'ra held no secrets from one another, yet he knew that the Tok'ra gossiped about how Selmak's Tau'ri host showered alone and slept alone.

To give her credit, Selmak respected his need for privacy. After all, she had not shared her memories with Jacob except for her favorite memories of Saroosh. He had respected that, and allowed her the right to mourn in private. Selmak had never commented on his obsessing and reliving his past mistakes with his family.

The worse criticism he had ever gotten from her had been a softly expressive, "**_Jacob, you wrong yourself."_**

* * *

Her host was thinking of his family again. She disliked it when he did that, because Jacob's mood would darken into a deep depression and fill his dreams with nightmares.

In all honesty, Selmak was delighted with her new host. He amused her! It was acceptable to admit that, if only to herself. He had enlivened the tunnels considerably in the three weeks since he had blended with her. Perhaps the Tok'ra were becoming too tunnel bound and insular, Selmak decided. He had such a unique viewpoint on things.

Or perhaps, his personality was rubbing off on hers.

But for the other Tok'ra, Jake Carter was like a fireball in their midst. He alternately horrified and shocked them and sometimes did both at the very same time, just by being himself. Jake Carter had **_horrified_** the Tok'ra collective as he had **_interrupted_** his symbiote on more than one occasion when she was talking. Tunnel rumors had even reported (and truthfully so!) that he had told her to shut up and to let him have control of **_his_** body.

Among the Tok'ra, potential hosts were trained for years. They were familiar with the peculiarities of two souls, one body before they blended. In spite of the training, there were the occasional matches that weren't successful. Yet, this Tau'ri Tok'ra had blindly leapt into this experience due to his terrible fear of being tied to machines, and having his suffering prolonged.

Selmak thought that showed that her Tau'ri, her Jacob was a warrior.

But he was proud, too damn proud.

He had wanted his death to be on **_his_** terms; so he had left the hospital on what he had known would be his final mission. As always, his damnable, insurmountable pride had continued to cause problems between his daughter and him. Viewing the scene through Jacob's eyes, Selmak saw how much Samantha had wanted to help her father. He had taught her to tie her shoelaces when she was younger, and now, the circle was returning to the beginning, where she would lace his feet into the heavy military boots. His daughter had wanted to do anything, no matter how small, to help him because she **_loved_** her father.

Sam had even offered to help him change from the hospital gowns into fatigues, and he had told her, "No."

Could he not see that her acts were based on **_love_**?

Stupid, proud Tau'ri wouldn't take his daughter's help, but yet, he had asked George Hammond for help getting dressed. George had been the one to tightly lace the boots, and button Jacob's shirt. And when Jacob had started vomiting due to his chemotherapy, **_Hammond_** grabbed a bucket and brusquely ordered Samantha out of the room. Hammond had been the one to wipe Jacob's face with a wet cloth.

Why **_Hammond_**? Why not his **_daughter_**?

His stomach had been churning from his voyage in the Stargate combined with his body's weakness due to his recent bouts of chemotherapy and yet he had refused his daughter's request to lean on her for support. He would allow her to grab his arm, and nothing more. Jacob Carter had fallen to his knees; had been unable to stand due to the shifting sands and only then had he accepted her help. Only Samantha Carter's and Jack O'Neill's fast reflexes had prevented him from taking a header.

Why not his family? Why did he not allow them to sustain him? For what reasons was there that unspeakable pain when he thought of them?

Selmak pondered again on what Jacob had been thinking when he had kissed Saroosh.

_For those thou dost overthrow, die not, nor yet canst though kill me._

That simple line had left her ill at ease, wracked with an unfamiliar sense of anxiety. What had it meant? Why did her new host believe that she would overwhelm his personality? Why the final thought of defiance? Did he judge her as a **_parasite_**?

It taken careful searching of his memory, but she had found those haunting words. It was a **_poem_**. Strange, how the Tau'ri found power and emotions in… _words_. Jacob had been terrified, but he had been determined to keep his composure in front of the others. Death comes to everyone, he had been reminding himself. It was now time to be a brave solider.

_Death be not proud, though some have called thee mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,___

_For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow, die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.___

That was her new mind mate.

Gruff, surly, assertive, demanding and caustic were the first words she'd used to explain him to the other Tok'ra, but some had used those very words to describe her. And now he was destined to live a life that was no longer his completely.

But he was trying; she gave him credit for that. He was trying his damndest, though she knew the thought of losing control over his body frightened him. By losing control over his body, he feared that might lose control over the emotional walls that he had barricaded himself behind.

There were far too many years of Jacob building emotional walls between his loved ones and him. He believed he was going to screw everything up, because he always did, and no matter how hard he tried, his best intentions had always ended with his loved ones furious at him. So, in self-defense, he had started building walls to hide from the pain. Selmak could sense how his internal tension was building and that Jake's emotional armor was riddled with fissures from the pressure he was inflicting on himself.

Yet his refusal to address his heart wounds were undermining his emotional health, and he needed to be well adjusted emotionally and mentally to deal with all the current changes he was facing. Physically, emotionally and mentally, he was looming toward a breakdown of epic proportions. It wouldn't be now, but several years in the future; it would be an almost nuclear meltdown.

They had time together before it happened and Selmak had the patience necessary to wait. Jake wanted things done a certain way because it gave him a sense of control over his current situations. Selmak played along because she hoped that he'd gradually learn to trust her, and she could nudge him into changing. For example, the two of them sniped and growled at each other because that's how Jacob wanted it.

Because he didn't envisage that he deserved to be treated with respect and kindness and because… he simply didn't believe that he was capable of acting any better.

The most ancient and wise Selmak was genderless, but it amused her greatly that her new soul mate believed her female because she could read his mind.

"On my planet, only women are capable of reading minds, Selmak," he had informed her.

The truth of the matter was horribly mundane. She simply couldn't block him out. Every reflection, each nuance and every flavor of his thoughts she heard and felt as clearly as if he had vocalized them. Perhaps, it was because she was too fond of him as he reminded her of Jeralt, Jana's love who had been a host for her deceased mate, Norak. Jeralt had been a real pain in the ass, but he had possessed a good soul.

One day, she'd mention her former host, Jana, to him, and the horrible day Selmak-Jana had been ambushed while exiting the Chappa'ai. But not now, as Saroosh's death had reopened the wound that Jana's death had caused. Some traumatic memories never fade, including the death of one's host, and her current host had enough problems without grieving for a woman he had never met and who was long dead in his way of thinking, especially when he was mourning his own losses.

**_? Jana, I think you'd like him. He reminds me of Jerry. All sound and bluster, but a good heart. ? _**

****

Perhaps, with Jacob, she'd tolerate using the Chappai'ai alone again. Saroosh had understood far too well why Selmak never used the gates unaccompanied and had never forced her host to travel alone. Somehow Selmak doubted that Jacob would indulge her aversion to solitary travel through the gate. He never cut himself any slack, so he'd expect the same from her.

But for now, the first thing she wanted to do was set things right between his daughter and him. Jake's thoughts about his family were constantly filling his mind. They were thoughts of such negativity and distortion that Selmak mentally winced whenever she sensed him thinking about his family. Did he really believe that he had been such a lousy father? Why did he blame himself on how he and his children were estranged from each other? It wasn't only because he had been such a hard ass. Each had played a part in creating the gap between father and child.

Yet, there were the surprising moments, when he didn't think about this family. During those moments, he was unexpectedly compassionate, asking her questions about Saroosh because he had sensed that Selmak wanted to talk to someone… anyone…**_even him_**, about her former host.

**_Even him_**…why such a self-deprecating thought, Jacob?

Tactless. Exasperating. Opinionated. Caustic. Excessively Self-critical.

Yet surprisingly empathetic during the quieter moments.

She desired to start forming the bond with him, and whenever she tried, they were constantly interrupted.

The one night she had been convinced that the two of them were making progress and that Jake was beginning to trust her, they had returned to their quarters to find a naked Anise in their bed wanting to discuss the sex habits of the Tau'ri. That blatant seduction attempt had disturbed Jake deeply, as he realized that Anise viewed him only as an oddity and freak, and Selmak still cursed Anise for her randiness.

"Do you want to use the body tonight?" he asked softly in a voice that belied how much that thought still unnerved him.

**_? Yes. I'd like to use our bodies tonight. ?_** Selmak informed him, gently stressing the plural possessive. **_? Garshaw and Lantesh wish to speak with me. ?_**

****

"Do I need to be present?" He sighed.

**_? No. You can sleep and I'll handle everything. I'll only wake you if it's absolutely necessary. Lie down, Jacob, and go to sleep. ?_**

****

"Thank you."

Her host laid down on the bed, and he rolled onto to his side. Easily, Selmak adjusted his body chemistry so Jacob was soon drowsy.

"Sel?" he whispered.

**_? Yes? ?_**

"That night with Garshaw…" her host's voice slowed, and she could taste his awkwardness.

**_? Shhhh… go to sleep, Jacob. ?_**

"If you had wanted to stay, I would have given you control…" Jacob admitted softly. "The two of us have got to share this battered body of mine, and I need to learn to handle it with a modicum of grace. But **_never_** with Anise, I ask for only that much from you."

**_? I had no desire to stay with Garshaw, and I would never dishonor you by sporting with Anise. ?_**

Within minutes, Jacob was dreaming again. Since it was several hours before she was due to meet with Lantesh and Garshan, Selmak carefully slipped into her host's dreaming state, hoping that she'd learn more about him.

* * *

Her host was physically much younger, and there was a lightness in his spirit that surprised her. For this Jacob, life was still an adventure, and he hadn't developed his trademark sarcasms as a method of emotional self-defense. It wasn't to say that he didn't have his temper, as Jake let loose a string of obscenities that earned a great deal of laughter and a round of applause from his fellow pilots.

"Damn jumpsuits," he swore. "I hate these zippers."

Briefly he touched the pictures of his family that were displayed on the inside of his locker door. Anne, Mark, Samantha. It was his superstition, to touch each photo before he left Earth and flew off into the skies in his fighter jet. Doing so would bring him back home to them safe and sound, and he never failed to do so. He also had a picture of them in one of his flight suit pockets, and he always touched the pocket immediately after he buckled himself into the seat of his jet. The ritual completed, he slammed the locker shut with a loud clank.

"Captain Carter," drawled his superior. "If you're finished cursing out your zipper, I'd like to introduce you to someone."

He peeled off a perfect salute, and General Mahoney easily returned it. Next to him was a redheaded male who wore the insignia of an Air Force Lieutenant.

"This is Lieutenant Hammond, he's new to Eglin. Transferred in from Cheyenne Mountain. I'm replacing Shaughnessy with him, so Hammond will be with you."

**_Hammond again. Why Hammond?_**

* * *

"George, watch out for Johnson; he's got a tendency to get too close to comfort."

For his warning, Jake received a raised fist from Hammond who was too busy keeping an eye on his dials and monitors to talk much.

_Seems like a decent guy. Quiet, though. He didn't kick the tires and light the fires, which I appreciated. He actually did a full physical inspection of the plane and found those two minor problems. Very, very methodical. As though he's afraid of screwing up again. Wasn't there some scuttlebutt about a major Cheyenne Mountain shakeup a few weeks ago? Something about aliens or Russian Spies?_

****

Jacob loved flying, no perhaps loved was too weak a term. It was not only the reason he had decided to join the Air Force. It was the end all and be all of his existence.

What would it be like to go to the moon?

He had watched the moon landing with his kids. His son hadn't cared, but his daughter had been fascinated.

_"See Sammy? Up there in the sky? There are people, astronauts, on the moon. Maybe when you're my age, we'll have a city up there, and you can fly back and forth to the moon."_

Jake noticed an abnormality on his gages, and he was about to mention it to George when George interrupted him.

"I'm red on idiot lights 4, 5, 6." That was said in a Texas twang, as though George were commenting on the weather.

_Keeps his cool. Thank God._ _Johnson would be screaming for his mommy right now._

"Confirming," Jake answered, as he briefly touched the pocket with the photo of his family for luck. "I've lost radio contact with the Base."

In his dream, time went slower than it had in real life. Each choice made to correct the condition of the airplane failed and the decision was made to eject from the plane. Keeping an eye out for George's parachute after he had punched out, Jake breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it. Maybe the two of 'em would be able to join the Martin-Baker Fan Club after all. It was the first time he had ejected from a plane, and hopefully, it would his last. But, he'd forever have a deep appreciation for his Martin-Baker ejection seat.

His hand rested on the pocket that housed the pictures of his family.

**_Let me make it back to them._**

His landing was rough, and he took the impact hard on his right foot. It gave out from underneath him with a sickening crack, and he bit off his scream. Well, he **_tried_**, but he wasn't successful.

* * *

Foot throbbing to the rhythm of his pulse, he managed hop on his good foot until he found George. Fortunately, he was only a hundred or so yards away from him, as it took him a good twenty minutes to get to where George was. He yelled a few times for George, and finally got a moan for a response. By the time he hobbled over to him, George had taken off his helmet. Jake whistled in admiration when he got close enough to see him as George had a beautiful black eye developing which contrasted greatly with the pallor of his skin and his fiery red hair.

"Where's the plane?" George asked in a voice that sounded like he had been drinking hard liquor through a funnel for the last four days straight.

"You sent it back to the taxpayers," Jake answered.

It was the nicest way of saying that they'd be picking up pieces of the aircraft until Doomsday.

"Fuck," George drawled slowly. "First Cheyenne, now this. My career is going to be completely fucked up from getting mixed up with all you Captain Carters. I'm never making General at this rate."

"Can you stand, George?" Jake asked, wondering where the hell that last comment had come from. George would make General right after he did, which was probably in the year 2097.

"Yeah, but where's the goddamn plane?" George asked again.

Shit. No wonder George was talking crazy. He had a concussion, which was no surprise to Jake considering that he just noticed a branch that was neatly cracked in half. George must have hit it on the way down. Between the two of them, Jake decided that it would take them about six months to walk to civilization. Best thing to do was just sit down and hope that somebody was looking for them.

"It's in a hundred billion pieces, George," Jake informed him, as he slowly slid down a tree trunk.

Somehow, he managed not to scream when he bent his fractured ankle slightly while straightening his leg out.

"My career is just so fucked," George repeated sagely but wisely leaving out that every Captain Carter he met seemed to be intent on sabotaging his career and his belief that he was General-material.

George's head seemed to clear slightly or else he decided to stop asking about the plane, afraid of the obvious answer, because it was pretty noticeable that they weren't sitting next to it.

"Your ankle, sir…" George pointed out to Jake helpfully.

Perhaps the red-headed George wasn't being helpful, but vindictive, because the minute he mentioned Jake's ankle, Jake realized that it felt like there were a hundred thousand billions pieces of his ankle being held together by his tightly laced boot. Up until then, it had been a distant, fiery pain that he had ignored.

"Is pointing in the wrong direction, I know. I'm trying not to even think about it," Jake snapped.

Silence reigned between the two men, until George turned a whiter shade of pale.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," George said, even as he proceed to spew up everything he had ever thought of eating in his twenty odd years of living.

Crawling carefully over to where George was power puking Jake tried to offer him some physical support as the other man was swaying on his hands and knees. He continued to hold the other man up while George persisted in retching.

"You've got a concussion, George. Are your ears ringing?"

"Yes, sir," George drawled in between heaves.

"Well, when you decide to stop throwing up last year's Christmas dinner, let's move to a fresher location. I'm pretty sure that they're looking for us," Jake said glibly.

The two of them finally stood up with many a muffled curse, and Jake was leaning heavily on George. If he didn't put any weight on his ankle, and if he didn't lean too hard on George, they could probably move slightly faster than an ancient turtle stuck in a vat of molasses.

"Thanks," George said shortly.

"No problem, just remember to help me out when I'm that green about the gills," Jake laughed.

"**_Deal_**."

The two men became friends that day while they waited for the search and rescue team to find them. They were similar in ages and attitude and both of them carried pictures of their families with them. For some reason, George seemed amused that Jake's daughter was named Samantha and he asked if Jake thought she'd follow him into an Air Force career.

After seeing that dream, Selmak gently 'pushed' Jake's subconscious into a deep, restful sleep, so she could take control of the body. There was much work that had to be done before she met with Lantesh and Garshaw.

**_? My host trusts him, perhaps this General Hammond could help? ?_**

* * *

Later that night, Garshaw attempted to dance around the subject, but Selmak heard her concern. Jacob was not acting appropriately for a host. More and more Selmak found herself regretfully agreeing with Garshaw as Garshaw detailed point by point her fears.

"Are you two **_talking_**?" Garshaw questioned.

**_No_**, Selmak answered in her head, even while she shook her head in answer. ******_We dance around subjects too painful for the two of us to mention. He won't mention his wife and son, and I can't bring up Jana, Norak, Jerry and Saroosh to him. Jacob doesn't know why the thought of Gate Travel petrifies me, and why I've changed from that brash Tok'ra insurgent that always volunteered for the most dangerous of assignments to one who cringes when she hears the wormhole of the Chappa'ai. He's never shared how it felt to drag our body to the Chappa'ai inch by inch and know that your beloved host is dying. He doesn't know what it was like for me to lose Jerry and Norak. We're both too wrapped up in our personal griefs to share them with someone else._**

"Can you two meditate and align your souls for communion?" Garshaw inquired intently. "Is he even **_capable_** of it?"

Alignment of the souls was the end all and be all of the blending. It meant that the bond between host and symbiote had been formed, and that the two souls had developed an understanding between themselves.

Selmak had tried to teach Jacob how to align their souls. He had tried to mediate repeatedly into a deep trance, but his personal demons always disrupted his attempts. Once it had been Annie, the next few times it had been thoughts of his children.

He's too stressed to mediate, Selmak almost protested out loud, even though she knew that to be the worse thing to say. The pressure on him is growing in intensity, and he will crack.

**_Let him be! Can you not see that you're causing him more anxiety? _**She thought loudly.

At her mental mutterings, she felt Jacob rouse in her mind.

**_"Problems, Sel?"_**

****

His mental voice was sleepy, and she could tell that he was the state of half-dream and half-waking. Tomorrow, he wouldn't remember this conversation.

Hopefully.

Carefully, using her softest and gentlest of tones, she lied to her host.

****

**_? No. Everything's fine. Go back to sleep, Jacob. I'm sorry that I disturbed you. ?_**

****

**_"Are they annoyed with me because I'm not acting like a proper Tok'ra host? I can't get the knack of mediating to 'align our souls'. I know you want me to learn… but I just can't do it. I swear to you, I'm trying… I really, really am."_**

****

**_? Shhhh… Jacob… go back to sleep. ?_**

****

**_"You probably should try to get a refund on this host of yours. Too many miles, too much mental baggage. You warrant a nice, shiny new host of your own, Sel. Not this battered old soul. As the oldest and wisest of the Tok'ra, you deserve better."_**

****

**_? I don't deserve better. I'm quite pleased with you, Jacob. Believe me. Now go to sleep. ?_**

He struggled to wake, and she crooned softly to him a lullaby of sorts. The soft melody was useful in dealing with Jacob, as she could mesmerize him into a deep sleep when his inner turmoil grew.

Her silence seemed to worry Garshaw even more, and before long, there were other council members in attendance. To her horror, she realized that **_all_** of them were in opposition to her and her host.

"We are concerned and disturbed, as your host is not adjusting to us. You are changing, Selmak, due to his influence. We are deeply concerned about the ramifications of your blending with the Tau'ri."

****

Then came the darkest threat.

"We could… find you… another host."

****

Inwardly, where no one could see, she trembled at that threat. They would take **_her_** Jacob forcibly from her and they would damage him in the process. It was an action that was not taken lightly by the council, but they were growing concerned about Selmak and her host.

She needed time, more time than she could get from her fellow Tok'ra. Finally, she decided to risk her greatest fear for her host.

**_Gate travel. _**

And she'd have to be by herself, as she didn't want anyone else involved with Jacob. There was far too much pressure on him now, self-imposed and otherwise, and she needed to get him _home_. She had been a fool, thinking that she could be patient with Jacob, and that the bond would form.

Too many distractions here in the tunnels. Too many prying eyes. Too much pressure on her and him.

Away from the Tok'ra, he'd be fine.

Away from **_Anise_**, he'd be fine.

Perhaps?

Or perhaps, she might need to take a very radical step and for that Selmak didn't want any of her fellow Tok'ra around.

**_I think I'm in over my snakehead with him. He has so much emotional pain and he won't express it, plus now he thinks that he's disappointing me because he can't act like a Tok'ra. If I can get him back to his home world, it will be better for him. Jacob will have less stress, and I'll decide what to do from there. If his mental health requires it, I'll even repudiate him, as long as his body can survive without me. I'll need his medical records, and I'll have to work on separating us. I am not a Goa'uld, I will not keep him as a reluctant host. If it's even necessary... hell… if it's even possible, I didn't lie when I told him that it could kill us to separate us. But I will die before I allow any to injure my Tau'ri. If I can be the one to separate us, Jacob will not be injured. _**

"I would like to take Jacob home to his planet. We will continue our blending there, where it is safe and quiet." Selmak suggested, keeping her darkest thoughts to herself. "We have not been able to form a cohesive bond due to constant disruptions. It takes time to develop a relationship with your host."

"Ah, Anise and Freya again?" Lantesh asked dryly. "I am glad that Martouf won't even look at them, else I'd might find them in our bed."

Selmak's eyes flashed, "If they do not stop showing up whenever Jacob's trying to shower, I might have to bitch-slap them."

Lantesh the irrepressible roared his approval. "You are picking up these interesting colloquial sayings from your host, Selmak. Martouf is trying very hard to learn Jacob's vernacular. He practices constantly, but is not brave enough to use them with Jacob."

Garshaw gave them both the evil eye, and while Lantesh pretended to settle down into respectable behavior, Selmak refused to bend. She was the oldest and wisest of the Tok'ra, and she bowed to no one.

"No, you can not leave," Garshaw informed Selmak. "And that is final. It is unsafe, and we do not know how far the traitors have infiltrated us."

Regally, Garshaw left the room along with the other council members, and Selmak reached for Martouf's hand.

"I need to speak with both of you," she said softly. "Will you hear me?"

"Yes," Lantesh said. "But not here."

"It must be here for Garshaw will know if we are seen together outside of this room. If we stay here, she will believe that I am sulking, and that you, dear friends, are humoring me."

* * *

Lantesh quickly explained the situation to Martouf, who saw to the crux of the problem.

"He has obligations on his home world, and he does not feel that he's discharged them. Until Jacob's debts are satisfied, he will not truly be one of us. Garshaw is wrong, he must be allowed to return," Martouf decided.

Martouf's head bowed, and then Lantesh's eyes stared at Selmak.

"You see why I chose him," Lantesh commented. "There were others from which to choose, but none as perceptive as he. Martouf promised Samantha Carter than he would watch over her father, and I can do no less. He must be allowed to return, and we would be honored to assist. In fact, I will travel with you to his home world."

"No," Selmak mumbled. "I… must travel alone for this."

Martouf and Lantesh nodded their appreciation of her decision.

"Is it **_that_** serious that you risk going alone?" Lantesh asked.

Wisely, she didn't answer. Instead, she pushed a small object toward Martouf. It had taken her hours to create it from the wisps of Jacob's memories and she hoped Hammond would recognize it.

"Take this to the Chappa'ai, throw it into the wormhole and send it to his planet. Await a response, and bring it back to me," Selmak said.

"What is it?" Martouf questioned his puzzlement obvious in his tone as he examined the object.

"It's a paper airplane. Apparently, it's a running joke between Jacob and one of the officers at their Stargate and it has something to do with a crashed plane. I do not claim to understand it, but General Hammond will know it's from Jacob."

"Naturally, we will take pains to prevent them from gaining the location of our base," Lantesh said. "While I trust your host and his daughter, the others, I worry about."

Selmak nodded her head, and thanked them for the understanding.

* * *

"Unscheduled off-world activation," announced Sergeant Davis in a tense voice. "Coordinates are blacked out and none of the teams have advised that they are coming back early.

The tension began to build even as the Stargate's titanium iris closed with a quick gesture from General Hammond. As was standard procedures for incoming wormholes, the Marines ran into the gate room to defend the Stargate and Earth from intruders.

Sergeant Davis turned to face General Hammond, relief visible on his face. "It's the Tok'ra."

"Open the iris," commanded Hammond.

_Perhaps it's Jacob. He'll be disappointed that his daughter isn't here. But she's on PX-JB87 right now._

With an audible hiccup the wormhole disengaged even before the paper airplane landed softly on the steel ramp. General Hammond debated about half a second about calling a team in to disinfect it, but then he realized that the paper airplane looked very familiar. George then laughed as he walked up the metal ramp toward the gate. His amusement earned a surprised look from a female Marine.

It **_was_** a faithful rendition of an F-4 Phantom II, the very model he had ejected from some thirty year earlier. There was only one man in all the universes who had access to a Stargate and who would know why Hammond held a soft spot in his heart for that particular model.

Carefully, he bent over and picked the plane up, knowing that it was a personal message for him from an old friend.

"Stand down people," he ordered. "Apparently, we've just got a mail delivery from the Tok'ra."

* * *

George went to his office, ignoring everyone's blatant curiosity about his Tok'ra-gram. He carefully unfolded the airplane to discover that a sealed note with his name on it was attached to the plane. The note was written in an angular handwriting that wasn't Jake's distinctive scrawl.

**_Honorable Major General Hammond._**

**_United States Air Force_**

**_Earth_**

****

**_Greetings._**

****

**_I would be deeply privileged to formally make your acquaintance. I feel that it is of the utmost importance that we meet before long, as we both share a strong connection with our venerated comrade. Respectfully, I would appeal to you that you keep this request confidential as I feel that our mutual friend is in dire need of a tête-à-tête. _**

**_As you may recall, there is a certain anniversary within the next week that weighs on his mind heavily. It would do him well not to be alone during this time. As much as it pains me to admit, our bond has not developed as strongly and as quickly as I had hoped. _**

****

**_Please send a message through the Chappa'ai to the following coordinates in thirty minutes of your time if you agree to our summit. I trust you understand why this method of communication is necessary._**

****

**_Respectfully;_**

****

**_SELMAK_**

****

George thought back, wondering about Selmak's cryptic message.

"Has it been twenty years since Anne died?" he asked himself. "Has it been **_that_** long?"

**_

* * *

_**

George Hammond stood on the ramp leading to the Stargate. He felt ridiculous; he would admit that to only himself, grateful that Jack O'Neill's trademarked mouth wasn't anywhere near Earth. What would O'Neill say to see his commanding officer in dress blues, pitching a baseball through the Stargate?

_"By George, I think he's cracked."_

"Outgoing wormhole. Sending theTok'ra signal," blared overhead. Bad enough Davis and Siler had to witness this, but he knew how Marines gossiped.

The stable wormhole formed, and George imagined himself thirty years younger. Taking the ball carefully, he gripped it with his index and middle fingers spread wide apart. He threw it hard, hoping that he'd at least get it over the plate and into the vortex.

**_Damn it, Selmak, if you had only given me a few more minutes, I could have found something to write on besides a baseball that I impounded from a Marine. But when Jake sees it, he'll know it's from me. A memento of all our kids' damn Little Leagues Games and piano recitals that we missed because we were on the opposite side of the world, fighting so our kids could grow up safe, ride bicycles and play baseball. _**

To his delight, his pitch was a perfect example of a splint fingered fastball. It was only through years of self-discipline did he prevent himself from pumping his arm in victory.

"Yee ha!" he thought to himself. "I've **_still_** got it."

He laughed to himself as he walked off the ramp. No doubt everyone in Cheyenne Mountain had heard about his Tok'ra gram, and would soon gossip about him pitching fastballs into the vortex. It would do everyone a world of good, as George knew that they all thought he was a hard ass. Now he had just added a new adjective.

**_Eccentric_**.

That meant everyone would be behaving for the next few months, as they weren't sure what exactly he'd do to them if they screwed up. Fear was a wonderful thing in subordinates. He could take a week or two of his accrued leave, as everyone was going to be on his or her best behavior, even a certain Jack O'Neill.

He turned and glared at Sgt. Siler, who instinctively took a step back.

"We're having company and I expect this base to be spotless, is that understood? In fact, I expect the entire mountain to be spotless, even if that means you have to take a vacuum and do the entire mountain yourself, Sgt."

* * *

Jacob woke up slowly, and he mumbled a sleepy "Good Morning" to the snake in his head. He stretched slowly, wondering what time it was.

**_? Good Morning, Jacob. Did you sleep well? ?_**

"Not really, I'm afraid," Jacob growled. "What I would do for a cup of coffee."

**_? My apologies. My meeting with Garshan and Lantesh ran later than expected. Lantesh can be quite verbose when given the chance. It is still early in the morning, why do you not go back to sleep? As for the coffee, I am sorry that we do not have any. ?_**

****

"Sel," her host questioned. "Do you know why my dreams are so vivid? And why am I so tired? It's not the lymphoma is it? Not that I'm doubting your ability to heal me, it just has a tendency of recurrences."

Selmak sent him a wave of mental reassurance.

**_? There is a slight change in your blood chemistry when we blended. The elevations will fade in time. As for your exhaustion, I believe it is due to the chemotherapy and radiation treatments you endured. They are brutal and severe treatments, Jacob. ? _**

"Beats the alternative, Selmak. Though it's a shame you won't do anything about my hairline," Jacob laughed.

**_? I fail to understand the fascination with hair. ?_**

****

"Spoken by a snake who doesn't have any," Jacob interrupted.

****

**_? I do not like that term. As I was saying, before someone interrupted me, I don't understand this enthrallment with hair. Lantesh always commented on how long Rosha and Martouf took to fix their hair. ?_**

"It's part of the mating rituals, Sel."

**_? Ah. Predestined patterns hard coded in their genes then. Much like yours? ?_**

****

"I think someone just made a joke about my hairline," her host mumbled as he fell asleep again.

* * *

Staring at the wall, hearing the words echo in his head over and over again, Jake lost track of time.

**_Lymphoma. Aggressive. Best get your affairs together, General. Is there someone I should call? Chemotherapy. Radiation. Stem Cell. Just buying time. Hospice. Power of Attorney. Dying. _**

****

Jake laughed bitterly, trying to prevent the damning tears from falling from his eyes. "Maybe I'll call Mark. Hey Markie, good news, your father's dying. Aren't you **_happy_**?"

Unexpectedly, the phone rang. Trying to regain his composure, he let it ring until the answering machine picked up. He always screened his phone calls though only telemarketers called him.

Well that wasn't true. Every second Sunday night, faithfully, his daughter called him, and they had their mandatory familial ten-minute conversation full of awkward silences and small talk in which they deliberately said nothing that might offend the other. And well, sometimes he did hear from an old friend.

"Jacob! It's George! Where are you? Are you out wasting more taxpayers' money and crashing another plane? You'd think by now you're old enough not to scratch the paintjob. Give me a call. Your daughter's getting an award from the President. Yes, Jake, you heard me right, Sam's getting her award from the President of the U. S. of A.! You should be there. I know it would mean a lot to her."

He grabbed the phone and in his haste he nearly dropped it.

"George, it's Jake. What's this about Sammy? How the hell is she getting that award? How can she risk her life while analyzing deep space telemetry? Did you guys get a massive collective paper cut?"

George roared and the two of them agreed to meet.

"Remember, it's a surprise. Don't tell your daughter that I called you," George reminded him.

"Just like you never tell her that I call you to find out how she's doing," Jacob retorted.

* * *

Using a skillful touch, Selmak continued to direct Jake's dreams about his daughter. Samantha Carter was being awarded a high honor among her people, yet it had been Hammond who had invited Jacob to the ceremony. It had hurt her host that his own daughter didn't give him the news of her award, Selmak knew, and then words were spoken on both sides that lingered and wounded. Sam had turned down his assistance to join… **_NASA, _**and Jake had been upset.

**_Damn it, Sammy. Couldn't once you let me do something for you? You hated anything that smelled of nepotism, hated running into my contemporaries that knew you as Jake's daughter, but couldn't you have accepted my help – just once? Wouldn't it have been worth it? To be in space? Or do you hate me so much that you don't want your fondest wish come true because I helped?_**

**_I was hoping to stick around long enough to see you become an astronaut. Sweetheart, I don't care what it is you do in that mountain, nothing in the world can live up to the chance to actually go into space. Not for you - it's something you're wanted your whole life. And I admit it; I want to see you fulfill your life's dreams before I die. Is that so goddamn bad?  
  
_**

He had walked away from his daughter, wondering why he couldn't do **_anything_** right in reference to his family, when he walked past George. He didn't even see his old friend as his stomach was rebelling. Oh yeah, it seemed like a bright idea, have your insides zapped with chemo, and then go see your daughter get an award from the President. Recklessly, he thought he would be safe by not eating anything and sucking on the ice cubes from his water.

He was such a two star idiot for coming.

"Jacob, your color's horrible, sit down," George ordered.

"Can't," Jake mumbled. "Gonna spew."

George grabbed him and manhandled him through a door. Hammond then slammed it shut, and pushed Jake into a stall. Jake came out after a long while in which he had thrown up his toes and assorted internal organs, and George handed him a damp handkerchief.

"What's a matter? You got the flu? I haven't seen you throw up like that even when you were hung over. I thought you didn't look good when we talked earlier."

He wasn't going to tell George. He wasn't, he really truly wasn't; yet his mouth opened up and he heard himself say, "Radiation and chemo will make you puke like there's no tomorrow."

He didn't look at George when he said that, instead he was instinctively straightening out his dress blues, making sure that he was outwardly presentable. Peering at the bathroom mirror, he searched his uniform for any suspicious looking spots. After he finished his mental inspection, he washed his hands. Only then did he turn to face George, his emotional barriers firmly in place.

"Shiiiiit," was all George said, but the laconic George had said the only word that adequately described the entire situation.

"On the positive side, it means that soon you'll have more hair than I do," Jake interjected, trying and failing at breaking the mood. "I also finished the 'vette finally. Paid some guy to finish it for me because it didn't look like I could finish it before I shuffled off my mortal coil."

"You and that damn Corvette, Jake. You've been working on it for what, twenty years?"

"Cheaper than therapy," Jake retorted as bantering with George seemed to settle his stomach, or else it just got his mind away from the fact that the chemo was roiling in his blood. "Whenever I got stressed, I just went out to the garage and worked on the 'vette. Look, I'll tell you what. When I finish moving, I'll pick you up at work and take you out for a spin in 'vette. We'll put the top down, and you can feel the wind in your hair."

That was said with an evil grin and a deliberate look at George's shiny dome. Jake always ribbed George about his hairline, as Jake had slightly more hair than George.

"You're moving?" George questioned.

"To Colorado Springs," Jake admitted.

"Is it **_that_** bad?" George's surprise was evident in his question.

"I've got an apartment, I've just got to finish moving in," Jacob said, ignoring George's question. "I've sold most of my stuff and the most of the rest is inheritables and will be in storage."

"Don't get an apartment, stay at my house," George insisted. "I've got plenty of room, and the grandkids don't come over that often."

"George," Jacob paused. "It's gonna be bad, George. I couldn't put you through it. But when I get to Colorado, we'll have lunch, and if you don't mind, I want you to be my power of Attorney. Healthcare proxy, that stuff. "

That earned a narrowing of the eyes from General Hammond. Grown sergeants had trembled at that look and more than a few airman had broken from the pressure of that icy blue gaze.

"I'm glad I don't work for you if you glare at people like that," Jacob said mildly. "I felt like someone just dropped a cooler full of ice in my drawers just now. Where did you learn to glare like that?"

"Jacob, do your kids know?" George asked quietly, his voice full of concern.

"**_Of course_**," Jacob answered promptly, looking properly indignant.

The answer was a little too quick for George, as he knew Jacob. He knew him **_very_** well indeed.

"Let me guess, you told Captain Carter about ten minutes ago? And you haven't mentioned it to Mark." George's tone conveyed his disapproval. "Why, Jacob? Why?"

"You are a very lucky man, George, your family talks to each other. In my case, the Carter Accords were brokered with a lot of blood, sweat and tears after my wife died. It's the Cold War between my son and me, and a Treaty of Non-Aggression between Sammy and me. And I do nothing more to upset the balance of power than play an occasional game of chess with Sam."

"I'll talk to your daughter," George offered.

"No. You will not. We've been through this before and Sam doesn't know our history. She doesn't know about my junior office that crashed our plane and broke my ankle in seventy nine pieces…" Jacob's voice was extremely intense as he pointed at George.

"It was a **_short_** in the **_electrical_** system," protested Hammond. "But don't you get this conversation sidetracked by pulling up that old history, Jacob…."

"And you said that she doesn't seem to remember you being at her mother's funeral. There were a lot of dress blues there, George, but only one redheaded pallbearer in dress uniform. So I've been content with the fact that she doesn't have the pressure of trying to prove herself to her dad's best friend. It's been rough enough for her being my daughter in more ways than one…."

"Jacob…" George said softly.

"She thinks that you and I just know each other in passing. And now I've got two requests for you."

"Shoot."

"I'm going to keep your hankie as I think I ruined it. And… stop by and see me, ok? It's gonna be bad, George, and I don't really have anyone who'll stop by and visit on my good days, let alone my bad." Jacob Carter gripped George's forearm and repeated his request intently, "Please? More than anything, I just need that."

"Absolutely, wild horses wouldn't keep me away."

* * *

Jacob was lying in the hospital bed one moment, and then, he wasn't. He was sitting in the chair next to the bed, and then he looked at the still figure in the hospital bed. The body was staring sightlessly at the ceiling, and then Jacob realized that the man wasn't breathing… and… and… the corpse looked awfully familiar.

**_"That's me!" _**He yelped.

There was the sound of a long buzz filling the air, and then the staff members began flying into his room. For some reason, George was there also, and he was staring at the Jacob lying in the bed in stunned disbelief. His lips moved, "Oh God, no. What am I going to tell his daughter?"

"He's in V-tach. Let's go. Let's shock him at 200!"

"200!"

**_"Okay, clear!"_**

Pain that felt like he was kicked in the chest by a mule arched through his body and the body on the bed jumped.

The scene changed. He was on a pay phone; George was standing a few feet away, trying to ignore the fact that Jacob's wife Anne was livid with her husband and screaming loud enough to be heard fifteen feet away.

"You told me that you'd pick me up, Jacob. You're an hour late! I'm standing in the airport and you're standing at the base. Do you **_see_** the problem? Do you have the security clearance to realize that there's a **major** problem here, **_Colonel Carter_**?"

"I'll be there in just a few minutes, I swear. The meeting ran late."

"Forget it, I'm getting a cab."

The scene faded, and he was once again in the hospital room. There was a new figure in the room, a tall blond female who hadn't been there the first time this had happened. She looked familiar, as he had been seeing her in his dreams a lot lately. Jacob tried to look at her, but the activity around the dying General on the bed pulled his attention that way.

"Again, 300."

**_"300!!"_**

He was driving like a mad man, cutting off people right and left, and blatantly ignoring their hand gestures. George's hand was on the 'oh shit bar' and he was checking to make sure his seatbelt was securely fastened.

"Jacob, getting the two of us killed to get to the airport faster will not make your wife less angry," George said dryly. "And it will infuriate my wife. In this situation, I think only one angry wife is more than sufficient."

The traffic slowed down to a crawl, and Jacob let loose a string of obscenities when he saw the flashing lights. Police cars, fire trucks, ambulances and a tow truck were blocking most of the roadway, their flashing lights of blue, red, white and yellow lighting up the scene like a bizarre, macabre Christmas scene. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel in a futile gesture of annoyance.

"I got to get there. I've got to. Shit. What's this? An accident, just what I need."

"Looks like a taxi got totaled," George pointed out.

Jacob slammed on the brakes, ignoring the horns from the angry driver behind him. "Oh God, no."

He opened the car door and ran toward the scene. One of the cops tried to push him away from the scene, but he was screaming like a madman.

"Where's the passenger? Where's the passenger? Is she a blonde? Is her name Anne Carter? **_Answer me_**!"

The cop looked uneasy, and he said, "Let me get my supervisor here."

"**_ANNIE!!!_**" The scream that came from his throat was more animal-like than human.

**_"CLEAR!"_**

The pain came back again, though this time, it felt like he'd been struck by lightning. His body spasmed and he was lying in the hospital bed again. The doctor was yelling at him, and Jacob wished that he'd just shut up.

"Normal sinus, okay. Hey, General, how're you doing?"

"Fine," Jacob lied, as he felt like he had been robbed, beaten and left for dead on the side of the road.

The answer satisfied the doctor, who promptly gave a string of orders. "Alright, he's in aplastic crisis. Let's give him a unit of packed cells, check his vitals every fifteen minutes. And, let me know if anything changes."

"George…" he whispered.

He stretched out his hand toward him, earning a disapproving cluck from the nurse that was trying to find a viable vein. One of the nurses looked up and saw George who was whiter than the proverbial ghost. George always hated needles and loathed hospitals.

"Are you, **_George_**?" She snapped.

"Yes, Ma'am, I am," Hammond said politely.

"He wants to speak to you. Don't let him overexert himself."

George pulled up a chair, and sat close to Jacob's bedside. He grabbed the dying man's hand tightly, and raised it so Jacob could see it.

"Jake, I'm here. What is it?"

"George…" Jacob whispered. "Don't recall her. It's my final request…"

That request took the last of his strength and he gratefully fell asleep even as Hammond called him every name in the book, starting with A for asshole and ending with Z.

Some time later, he woke up. The room was quiet except for the beeping of electronic devices and only the blond woman was in the room. She was sitting next to his bed, quietly watching him and she was holding his hand tightly.

"I know you," He rasped.

"Do you?" She asked softly, as she placed her other hand on his face. The woman smiled and Jacob tried not to shiver when he saw that the pupils of her ancient blue eyes were elliptical, nothing more than a catlike vertical slit, and that her teeth were fanged.

She had a split tongue…

"At last, I figured it out. You must really, really despise me," Jake said hoarsely.

"No, I don't, Jacob. I could never hate you," the female said softly. "Go back to sleep."

"**_Then, Selmak, why are you making me relive the worse days of my life continuously? Does it amuse you? Are you enjoying this? Goddamn you, Selmak! My dreams should be my own!"_**

****

He woke up with a shout, and he was surprised to see that Martouf was in his room. Adding to his confusion was the fact that Martouf had his hand firmly over his mouth, affectively muting him. Jacob fought for control, succeeding in landing hard blows on Martouf and driving his knee into the other man's stomach. Still Martouf held onto him, and then Jake bit his fingers, fighting like a mad man.

Lantesh took control of his host's body and threw Jacob against the wall. The force of the throw stunned Jacob and then Selmak firmly took over his body. His mind struggled and screamed even while his body failed to respond.

****

**_"No. Damn you, damn you. I will not let you do this to me. Selmak! You're no better than those damn Goa'ulds! Damn you, you fucking snakehead, damn you, damn you all to hell!" _**

****

**_? We need to go. ?_** Selmak insisted, even while Jacob screamed inside of her, lambasting her in a mental shriek full of recrimination and rage. **_? I need to get you home. Please… Jacob… I'm trying to help you. ?_**

* * *

While Jacob blustered and wept in silence, his symbiote was becoming more and more affected by his turmoil. Lantesh watched in alarm, as Selmak-Jacob was almost in the fetal position, rocking back and forth while whispering Jacob's name. Inwardly, her formerly rock steady mental voice turned tremulous and uncertain, as she beseeched him to stop screaming.

**_? Jacob. Please…We're going home. We're leaving…. please, please…… quiet down. Please, I beg you, stop it. I can't think when you're like this. Stop it. Jake. Stop. You're overwhelming me. Stop. I … can't…. think… Stop… Please…. Please… Jake… I didn't mean anger you by prying in your dreams. I wanted to learn more about you. You don't talk to me… and then I couldn't escape. I tried; honestly I did when I saw what you were dreaming about. I tried to wake you, I did. Please… believe me. ?_**

**_? Please, please. Please, let me have complete control. I'm taking you to the Chappa'ai. You'll be home again. You can see your daughter. Please, Jacob. Please, stop screaming. I can't… think when you're like that. It was a surprise, that's why I didn't tell you. I thought… you'd be happy to go home. I arranged it with your General Hammond. ?_**

He was still raging against her when she surprised him into silence.

**_? Jacob. We're going home. To… Anne? You planned the ceremony to remember her. Should you not be there? It would be proper and respectful if you were there. ?_**

****

"Annie?" Jacob whispered in a small voice. "Annie?"

****

**_? Annie. Yes. Annie. I know you how much you desired to be home for that. ?_**

****

Martouf grabbed Jacob unexpectedly, and pulled him into a rough embrace. Jacob tried to pull away, but Selmak still had control over the body. He found himself resting his face on Martouf's shoulder, even as the other man pulled him closer.

"Hide your face, I hear someone," Martouf whispered. "I'm surprised that they didn't arrive earlier. You two have been extremely noisy."

Several Tok'ra came into Jacob's cubicle and they failed to hide their curiosity at what the Tau'ri Tok'ra was doing **_now_**.

"We heard noise."

Lantesh's eyes flared and then he spoke, "I don't believe that we need your assistance. This is a delicate matter between the four of us, and we were just coming to an sweet and gratifying conclusion."

****

The Tok'ra laughed, and made a few suggestions in their tongue.

**_? Shh… they think we are lovers, Jacob. They'll let everyone in the tunnels know, and they'll give us privacy for the next few hours. I have been partnerless for a great many years, and we all worried about Lantesh and Martouf after Rosha and Jolinar died. ?_**

****

"I just want to go home," Jacob said to his symbiote. "I just can't handle this anymore."

**_? You need to sleep, Jacob. Shhhh… No dreams now… I'll put you in a very deep sleep, and you won't wake for hours…I've just got to get you to the Chappa'ai. ?_**

"This is the worse trip, I've ever been on," he whispered. "I'm talking to the travel agent when I get home and demanding a refund."

**_Please Selmak_**, **_Let me go home, let me go home. I wanna go home, let me go home, Why don't you let me go home?  
  
_**

**_? Let me get you to the Chappa'ai, Jacob. Please. ?_**


	2. On the Road Again

**_

* * *

_**

On the road again  
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway  
We're the best of friends  
Insisting that the world be turnin' our way  
And our way  
Is on the road again  
Just can't wait to get on the road again

**_On the Road Again – Willie Nelson_**

_**Story:**_

The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

On the Road Again – Part II

**_Rating: PG-13_** - Sel & Jake curse a lot

_**Synopsis: **_

Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

We rejoin our heroine and her host when Jacob Carter, Major General, USAF Retired and Selmak have absconded from the Tok'ra. It appears that the new Tok'ra – Tau'ri Alliance is doomed to failure as the Tok'ra are becoming concerned that the Most Ancient and Wisest of the Tok'ra has gone unexpectedly native. Enlisting the help of George Hammond, Selmak hopes to save her host's rapidly fraying sanity.

**_Notes: ? Bold Italics?_** means Selmak is thinking so Jacob can hear her.

* * *

We begin with.... 

The alarm claxons began ringing, and Sgt. Davis wondered why, of all days, did he forgot to take his Excedrin before he came to work at Stargate Command. It was barely five minutes into his shift, and already the aliens were battering down the iris to invade Earth. Calmly, as though the alarm happened every hour on the hour, though truthfully, it occurred far too often for his taste, he announced the obvious.

But aha! There was an unexpected twist! This time, it was an unannounced visit by someone who wasn't trying to kill everyone and turn everyone else into walking incubators.

It was their new allies, the Tok'ra.

Sgt. Davis wasn't completely certain about whether or not the Tok'ra were ethically much better than the Goa'uld as they apparently wanted walking incubators also, but at least they hadn't threatened to slaughter the SGC. No, they just wanted volunteers, and he vowed never to raise his hands in their presence as he remembered Major Charles Kowalsky far too well. He also didn't mention his dark thoughts around Captain Samantha Carter, considering the whispered rumors that her father was... one of those ethically dubious souls right now.

"Unscheduled off world activation. It's the Tok'ra signal," announced Sgt. Davis.

"Jacob's early," General Hammond said quietly. "Open the iris. I'll want the Marines outside the Gate Room to be on the safe side."

General Hammond strode toward the gate room, trying to hide his unease. He wasn't an alarmist, but Jacob was early and Selmak's carefully phrased note was troubling him, especially Selmak's admission of 'as much as it pains me to admit, our bond has not developed as strongly and as quickly as I had hoped'.

What the hell was going on? And why had Selmak decided to talk with him, rather than with Jacob's daughter? Naturally, Captain Carter is on an away mission, and I can't recall her just because her father's stopping by for a visit.

The Stargate opened, and Jacob... no ... Selmak strode into the gate room, wearing the green fatigues that Jacob had worn on his trip through the Stargate. There was a subtle difference in how Selmak walked and Jacob's usual gait. Perhaps Selmak looked less self-certain than was Jacob's cocky norm, or perhaps... it was the glowing eyes.

"General. I am honored to finally properly make your acquaintance. Your reputation as a warrior is formidable," stated Selmak.

Selmak bowed formally, and George nodded his head in acknowledgement. There was a glint of something in Selmak's glowing eyes, and George realized that it was quiet amusement.

"I must ask your permission to speak to you freely. It is not of our way to do so, as our bonds of friendship develop slowly over the countless years, but my host thinks quite favorably of you. May I do so?"

George looked at Selmak-Jacob, and then once again, he nodded his head in agreement.

"We have adequately discharged the niceties required, do you not agree, General? I can assure you that if required, the Tok'ra insist on enough formalities to keep us standing here for the next hour or so," stated Selmak dryly.

"We can skip that, if you'd like. Naturally, we'll lie and tell everyone that all the official procedures were completed," George assured him.

Selmak laughed quietly, sounding so much like Jacob that George had to give him a second glance. George noticed that Jacob-Selmak was wearing the hand device, which combined with the conspicuous zat gun, sent shivers down his back. Selmak extended his palm toward George, and he presented the baseball that George had sent through the Stargate as a message. Scribbled on the ball were the comments "Road trip?" and several dates.

George took the offered ball from Selmak, and smiled warily.

"I look forward to our... road trip, General. Jacob is in need of a ... holiday, and I will be quiescent through much of the trip. It will do him well to talk to you."

"Selmak," George drawled slowly, trying to hide his unease as his sixth sense was shouting an alarm that something was seriously wrong. "I want to speak with Jacob now. Is it possible?"

Selmak looked at him, and shook his head, "He's sleeping and I would prefer not to wake him. But I understand your desire to speak with him. I will rouse him for a short time, as he needs his rest."

Selmak looked downward, and then Jacob took over the body. His confusion at his location was apparent as he looked through the gate room as though searching for someone, and then he focused on George.

"George?" Jacob asked in a dazed voice. "Are you real? Am I on Earth? Or am I dreaming? I've been having such horrible dreams lately."

"Yes, it's me," George answered.

"George," Jacob said in a very low voice, as he grasped his friend's hand. "Help me. Please. I just wanna go home."

George was about to answer, when the claxon announcing an unscheduled arrival through the Star Gate blared. Jacob jumped, and then Selmak's eyes were staring at the chevrons that were lighting up. His left hand with the ribbon device was extended toward the gate, and George didn't like that look in Selmak's eyes. It was the hopeless look of someone that was preparing to attack with both barrels blazing, yet knowing that it would be for naught.

Dear God, Selmak had his right hand over his chest pocket. It was a gesture that loudly spoke of Jake Carter's personal idiosyncrasies, as Jake always had carried pictures of his family in that particular pocket for luck.

"Not again," Selmak-Jacob said softly, as though to himself. "I will not be caught unaware this time."

"It's SG-4," announced Sgt. Davis overhead. "They've got wounded. Medical teams to the gate room. Medical teams to the gate room."

The Marines ran into the gate room, and General Hammond lost track of Selmak during the organized chaos that followed.

Selmak stood back, silently cursing herself for her overreaction at the sound of the Chappa'ai. For a moment, she had been overwhelmed by memories of the time she had crawled to the Chappa'ai, inch by inch, knowing that Jana was dying... The reality was far worse as stink of blood and the cries of pain were everywhere. Deliberately, she slipped off the ribbon device, and put on the healing device. There were wounded to be cared for, and they were of Jacob's people. She could not stand idly by and watch them die.

**_Norak. Jeralt. Jana... Focus. Concentrate. Feel the power fill you._**

A gaping hole in the stomach. The smell of a staff blast...

**_Focus. Concentrate. Feel the power fill you._**

Blood gurgling from the mouth of another. Air filling the lungs mixed with blood and fluid. Drowning in his own fluids...

**_Focus. Concentrate._**

Dizziness.

She was putting far too much of herself into it, as she couldn't tap Jacob's strength. He was sleeping inside of her, the bond still unformed and there was wounded everywhere. The gaping wound in one's thigh that was spilling his lifeblood on the floor.

**_Focus. Concentrate._**

One more, next to the ramp. She couldn't stand yet felt his pain. Pulling herself to her knees, she wondered why she had been lying face down on the floor? The room was spinning crazily, and she swallowed to keep herself from vomiting the bile that churned within her.

"Selmak. You can stop. Dr. Frasier and her teams are here."

**_Focus.... Concentrate...._**

The power was filling her, and she stretched her hand out, trying to connect with the young man who lay moaning by the ramp. Rough hands grabbed her, and she looked into George Hammond's blue eyes in a confused silence.

What was he saying?

"Dr. Frasier says that she can handle Sgt. O'Malley's wounds. They're minor. She can handle it. Selmak. Jacob. Stop. You're in no condition to help right now."

The floor spun crazily beneath her, and she collapsed into darkness.

* * *

Dr. Janet Frasier turned to face her commanding officer. "General, I can assure you that SG-4 will be fine." 

"You're sure, Doctor?" Hammond asked. It wasn't that he didn't trust her, but he wanted reassurances that his personnel were safe.

"Yes," she repeated. "Selmak was there at the right time, and two of them don't even have a mark. The third has an interesting scar to show his grandkids."

General Hammond nodded his head, and continued questioning. "And Jacob?"

"Out cold. Vitals are stable, so I think it's more of a case of complete exhaustion by his symbiote than actually injury. I've run plenty of tests to make sure because it's the first time I've had an unconscious Tok'ra in my clutches. Do you want to see him?"

"Please," he responded.

Jake was still asleep, but he was resting his hands on his chest. In one hand there were several black and white photos, and George smiled to himself. He knew exactly which ones they were, and he doubted that Captain Carter would be delighted to realize that she was wearing pigtails in one and missing most of her front teeth.

"How's Selmak?" George asked.

"He woke up a bit when we were moving him and he requested that I put the photos in General Carter's hand. Selmak assured me that General Carter was fine, but that he was just sleeping off a severe case of Chappa'ai jet lag and that he should wake up a few minutes from now. Apparently, they've been gating repeatedly to get here."

"The Tok'ra don't want us to know where their base is, so they've probably laid a fake trail across half the universe," George commented softly.

As though those words were a signal, Jake stretched and then opened his eyes.

"Sel?" he questioned, as he looked upward. "Sel? You there?"

He knocked on his head, and called for Selmak again. Then Carter sat up, and he smiled when he saw George.

"What's a man got to do to get some coffee around here? It's bad enough that I had to travel a few hundred thousand light-years to get some, and now I've got to wait for the crap they serve in the commissary?" Jake growled that, and George laughed.

That order of business taken care of, Jake then requested his clothes and an explanation. "And... could someone tell me why I'm in the infirmary?"

Dr. Frasier looked at General Hammond and gave him a megawatt smile. "I'm sure you won't mind debriefing the General, General."

"What's the last thing you remember, Jacob?" George questioned after he managed to find a new set of fatigues for Jacob to wear. The others looked as though Jacob had waded through a river of blood and had been... retired.

Jacob lost his smile.

"I think Selmak's been running the Jacob-Selmak show solo recently. I've got huge gaps in my memory lately," Jacob answered. "I came through the gate, I believe."

"You don't know why you're here?" George asked.

"Annie. I'm here for that," Jacob answered softly as he put his photos back into his fatigues' chest pocket. In a normal tone of voice, he began demanding answers. "What happened in the gate room?"

"I was hoping that you'd be able to answer that," George answered honestly. "Do the Tok'ra know that you and Selmak aren't there?"

Jake laughed, "You're asking me if we're **_AWOL_**?"

"Pretty much."

He tapped his forehead again, "Selmak? Talk to me, Sel." Jake shook his head, "She's..."

"She?"

"He..._**She**_... **_It_**... They're genderless, and take on the gender of the host, but believe me, Selmak's **_female_**."

"Must be interesting," George said dryly.

"It is, but she's not answering me right now. I can't hear her, so she's hibernating for the lack of a better term. All I can remember from the gate room is that I had control of the body, and then she ripped it from me. I think she was terrified ... about the gate opening? So what happened exactly?"

"One of teams was ambushed." George raised his hand to prevent Jacob from speaking, "No, Samantha wasn't on it, but she's offworld right now. I would have lost three good people if it weren't for Selmak having that healing device with him. By the way, tell me when Selmak's awake, SG-4 wants to thank him personally."

"Speaking of which – where is it?" Jacob asked. "I'm assuming the doctor locked it up."

"I locked it up with some Tok'ra toys that Selmak brought. Jacob, why did Selmak bring a hand device and a Zat?" George questioned. "He brought a locked box also. It must be lead-lined as it's heavy. He also brought a few changes of clothes with him, but I suggest that you don't wear them outside the building."

"**_Zat_**?" Jacob was obviously startled by that little tidbit of information. "This isn't good, George, I think she's keeping stuff from me; I didn't know Selmak brought a hand device and a Zat'n'ktel. The Tok'ra council wouldn't have approved of Selmak bringing the big guns to Earth... so it's likely the council doesn't know where we are."

"We can send them a message, if you want," George offered as the two of them began walking to the commissary.

"No, let's not," Jacob answered quickly. "I've had enough problems with the council, I'd prefer not to deal with them right now."

"Jacob, serious question," George asked carefully, knowing that Jacob would lie through his teeth but he had to ask anyway. "And don't put on the brave solider façade. How are you adjusting?"

Jacob flashed a steady grin, "Just fine. The Tok'ra love me. I'm a teddy bear, you know that."

George stopped in mid-stride and stared at Jacob. He'd sooner compare Jake Carter to a grizzly with an abscessed tooth as to a Teddy Bear. There was a look of pronounced concern on his face. "It's that bad, Jacob?"

His old friend gave him a sick look, "Actually, it's a lot worse."

* * *

All the years he had been in the Air Force, he had hated commissary food. But that was before he had become the Unappreciated, Unsuitable Liaison to the Tok'ra and subjected to their inedible food. Now his eyes widened in delight when he saw the greasy fries and murder burgers in the cafeteria. 

"Coffee, George, Coffee. Food, George, real honest to God, food," he said in a tone that should have been reserved for something more miraculous than the slop they served in the cafeteria.

"Wouldn't go that far," George answered. "That looks like it's evolving."

Jacob ignored him as he began piling stuff on his plate.

"Two of that, please," he said pointing at the cheeseburgers. "Fries, the works. George, think you can get them to make a new batch of coffee for us? That stuff looks like it's been sitting there for a few weeks."

George smiled his General Hammond smile and the young cafeteria worker immediately volunteered to make a new pot of coffee for him. In fact, she'd even bring it over to him when it was ready. He always failed to understand why his simple smile caused his subordinates to experience heart palpitations, but he used his grin unmercifully.

"Thank you," he said. Then he turned to face Jacob, who was putting more stuff on his tray, much to the horrified fascination of everyone around him. "Jacob, what are you eating? That's a heart attack waiting to happen."

"You forget, I've got to feed my very own personal tapeworm," Jacob rejoined easily. Then he flinched, as though someone had hit him.

_**Hard.**_

In fact, if George was any judge, Jake got hit three times in fact ,and rather rapidly. Once on the left, once on the right, and once right in the back of his head. Jake winced, and began rubbing the back of his head, muttering something about, "That's just **_so_** not nice, Sel."

Then his eyes glowed, and his voice changed.

"That comment wasn't appreciated. My race is substantially more evolved than a tapeworm, unlike some apes I could mention. It would serve him right if I let this grease clog his arteries." Selmak said with some asperity.

There was a sound of dropping glassware, and someone yelled, "Goa'uld!"

George sighed. Just like Jacob, not merely happy to only start an intergalactic incident with their new allies, he had to start something in the commissary.

"_**STAND DOWN, PEOPLE**_," General Hammond's voice thundered over the sounds of a near riot. "Captain Harris, **_PLEASE_**."

Meanwhile, Jacob Carter was staring with an intense dislike at Captain Robert Harris. Fortunately, his eyes weren't glowing.

"Captain Harris, I am a retired Major General in the United States Air Force, are you implying that I'm a Goa'uld? You would mind saying that, just a little louder, so General Hammond could hear you? Actually, why don't you wait, so I can call a few of my friends at the Pentagon, Captain? They'd really be quite happy to hear why you think that I'm one of the bad guys," he said softly.

"I thought your eyes glowed," Harris said in defense.

"I thought your eyes glowed, _**SIR**_. You will use that term because as a retired, senior member of the armed forces, I deserve that much courtesy from you. Repeat it, Captain, but this time, correctly," Jacob said with a sadistic smile.

"I thought your eyes glowed, Sir," Harris said in a very small voice.

"George, is he a Marine or did he did he swipe the uniform? Say it louder, Marine, I want to hear your accusation ring thought this cafeteria, say it loudly, say it with pride, say, '_**I saw your eyes glow, Sir!**_'. Did you honestly think I'm a... Goa'uld? Say it now, from your gut, boy."

"_**Sir, yes, Sir! I saw your eyes glow, Sir!"**_ Harris' voice could be heard in downtown Denver as he bellowed his accusation.

"Are they glowing now, _**Marine**_?" Jacob roared.

"No, Sir, they must certainly are not, _Sir_!"

"Then I suggest you're mistaken, because if I was one of them, you'd be dead right now, Captain." Jacob smiled a rather beatific smile, frightening in its very mildness. "To show that there's no hard feelings, I'll let you buy me lunch."

* * *

Robert Harris, Marine Captain had a distinct look of a hound dog on his face, complete with mournful eyes. Not only did he buy lunch for Jake and symbiote, but also for General Hammond. 

"Captain," General Hammond said in a very soft voice, as Captain Harris was staring in horror as he realized how much lunch had set him back. "I think you got off rather easy, don't you?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" He shouted as he trotted out the door, wanting to find some place quiet in order to reflect on how his day had gone so horribly, horribly wrong.

* * *

Jake looked downward, and then Selmak looked sadly at General Hammond. 

"My apologies for what happened just now. I should not have jested with Jake. He seems to thrive on it but it was inappropriate behavior, and I apologize again for the situation," Selmak said softly.

They were sitting in a corner of the room, and after Jake's little demonstration of generally hard-ass-General-type behavior, no one was even daring to even look in their direction. If anything, there was a collective mental sigh of relief, "I am so glad that he's not my father and he's Captain Carter's."

"Is Jacob aware?" George asked.

"Not at this time, I felt it better if you and I could converse briefly. I need your assistance with my Tau'ri, General. The blending between us has been... challenging," Selmak advised softly. "I desire reassurance that you will support him in this matter."

"Depends exactly what you mean by assisting ... Jacob...," Hammond said in a very quiet voice, deliberately stressing the name. "I owe him my life."

Selmak nodded his head. "And that is why I came to you, General. For there is no else I could trust. The Tok'ra will be contacting you shortly, I know. Have your people deny that we have come through the Gate. I also want copies of all his medical records, including the most recent exams that were done today. That is all I request for now."

"Why me?" Hammond asked again.

"You still wear the ring, like Jacob," Selmak informed him softly, as he pointed at Jacob's wedding ring and then at George's wedding band. "Though your mate has been deceased for five of your years. To me, that implies loyalty and commitment to those for whom you care. I could not go to anyone who did not possess those characteristics.

Hammond swallowed quickly, as he hadn't expected that for an answer.

Closing his eyes, Selmak bowed his head, and then Jacob was looking at George. He looked uneasy for a moment, and then he smiled. It was a brittle smile that failed to reach his dark eyes.

"What were you two talking about? May I ask? It pisses me off when she does that," Jake growled, as he reached for the catsup. He shook it and sighed in disgust when he realized it was empty. Reaching to the table next to him, he grabbed that bottle.

"Selmak wanted to apologize for the incident with Harris," George said truthfully. "Harris was out on medical leave, so he doesn't know about our new allies just yet."

"I could have heard that, George. There was no reason for her to take over just now, leaving me deaf, blind and mute unless she felt the need to talk to you about something important. What the hell is going on, George?" Jacob asked in a loud voice, causing several to stare in their direction. In a quieter voice, Jacob continued, "What did Selmak think was so imperative that she couldn't let me hear it?"

For a moment, George thought about telling Jake the small amount he knew. Selmak was on edge, as evidenced by the amount of weaponry she had brought with her, combined with her reaction in the gate room. More troubling to George's viewpoint, was the Tok'ra's request that no one was to divulge that they had returned to Earth. And the medical records? Why did he...she... it... want them?

"I was hoping you could tell me, Jake," George answered in his normal straightforward manner. "I'm completely in the dark with this."

"Makes two of us," Jake laughed bitterly.

* * *

After lunch: 

"Thanks for letting me use your car, George. I'll be back by four, I just want to run some errands and grab some money from the bank."

Jacob smiled as George threw him the keys. Catching the keys in mid-air with an easy grace, he stuffed the keys into his pants pocket.

"Just promise me, don't let Selmak drive," George said dryly. "Bad enough someone broke my car window a few months ago with a hockey stick; having an alien driving the car might increase my premiums even more."

As expected, Jake laughed.

"Before you go, Jake, better wear these," George instructed as he handed Jake a pair of dark wraparound sunglasses.

"Selmak promises that she'll behave," Jake said even as he put on the heavily tinted glasses, "But you're smart not to trust her."

Carter tilted his head, as though waiting for something or someone. Then he smiled briefly.

"She must be hibernating again, she didn't squawk at that comment. What?" Carter questioned the shit-eating grin on George's face.

"I just want to know how long you two been married?" George sighed in mock disgust. "I'd suggest marital counseling except everyone would lock you up as schizophrenic."

"It's a life sentence, George," Jake said seriously. "And there's no chance of parole."

* * *

Selmak was watching, as she always did, in a small corner of her Tau'ri's mind. 

Yes, she always used the possessive when she thought of Jake; Hammond had noticed her slip and hadn't approved. For fear of widening the gap that existed between her best chance of surviving this foolhardy mission to Tau'ri with host and symbiote enact and herself, she decided to pretend that she was hibernating.

She even ignored Jacob's little dig about her not being very trustworthy, because he's right, she thought.

_**My sins of omission and of action were building up at an alarming rate. Must be Jacob's morality that's affecting me, as I hadn't felt this uneasy in years... centuries even. Let's see, I left the Tok'ra base without permission and I stole weaponry and assorted Tok'ra supplies from the armory. Lantesh and Martouf would disavow any knowledge of what I had planned, though they had helped me escape. I had even asked George to lie to his new allies.**_

_**Let this be worth it, please. For not only am I untrustworthy, I am making others act just as deceitful as I was. For that reason, I pray to Jacob's God that Captain Carter stayed far, far away from me, as I couldn't ask that of her.**_

Jacob was getting in the car, when he unexpectedly stopped. He was seething, Selmak could feel his anger directed toward her.

"What's the matter, Sel?" he questioned.

_**?Nothing.?**_ His symbiote said in a very soft voice, not wanting to cause him further annoyance. _**?Everything is just fine... You're home. You're happy. General Hammond is delighted to see you. You had a very nice lunch. You even had... coffee.?**_

He slammed the driver's door loudly and he put the keys in the ignition. Her host was about to start the car when Jake stopped, slamming his hand against the dash, "You know, Selmak. You're really beginning to piss me off."

Jacob's voice was angry, and Selmak could sense that he was exceedingly furious with her.

_**?Am I??**_ Her mental voice quivered slightly.

"What are you up to? We're AWOL aren't we? Don't put that little tremor in your voice. Anne did that when we argued, and it never ever worked with me."

Selmak didn't say anything, though she knew her host well enough to know that it had always worked on Jacob because he hated it when he upset his wife. He tapped the dashboard angrily with his fingers for a bit.

"Ok, the mighty Selmak is sulking and using the silent treatment. Fine, Selmak, go-ahead act like a three year old. I'm just warning you that if you get George involved with this asinine stunt of yours, I will be furious and I will never, ever forgive you. Do you UNDERSTAND me?"

_**?....yes...?**_

* * *

For the first time in ages, Jacob's mind was completely his. It was enjoyable at first as he ran his various errands free of comments from the mental peanut gallery until his conscience got the better of him. It took a while, but then he felt a pitchfork jab his soul. 

That soft 'yes' from Selmak.

Damn it, it sounded like she had been trying not to cry.

Trying to ignore her problems for a bit to focus on his own, his mind kept coming back to Selmak.

His life had been turned topsy-turvy since they had blended, and he could just imagine what Selmak was going through. It must be terrible to gain an incompatible host after losing Saroosh, who had apparently been the paragon of Host-dom among the Tok'ra. Dealing on that thought for a while, Jacob decided to extend an olive branch.

In the end, like it always did, the quivering voice and tears won out over his stubborn determination.

"Sel?" he asked. "Among my people, when we visit the gravesite of our deceased, we usually bring flowers. Would you like to get some for Saroosh? You can place them at Annie's grave tomorrow when we go. I know it's not your tradition, but... I know Annie wouldn't mind."

_**?... c-c-could we? ... that would... be...n-n-nice...?**_

Her voice was full of grief, and he sighed inwardly. Two hundred years they had been paired, and Saroosh had been gone for only a few short weeks. Selmak had barely mentioned Saroosh to him, except for the few times he had asked about her, and so Jacob had thought that Selmak was handling Saroosh's death with a trademarked Tok'ra indifference.

Instead, Selmak had deliberately chosen not to share her grief with him.

"You miss her, don't you?"

What a stupid question, and he cursed himself for even asking it.

**_?... y-y-yes...?_**

Great. Selmak was weeping. How the hell was he supposed to handle a grieving symbiote?

* * *

Jacob was very subdued when he returned the car keys to George. Hammond noticed it, unsurprisingly, and he decided not to mention it. 

"Jake, I just have to tidy a few things up, then I can go. Selmak's equipment is in the drawer over there, so you can have it. Now, did you leave a message for your daughter that you're home for a visit?"

"No," Jacob answered shortly. "I'm only visiting for a bit, and we'll probably miss each other. Where are we going on this road trip of ours anyway? I need to know what to pack."

"Big Sur," George said with a slight smile. "You look like you need to unwind, and I can bring my paints. I pulled a few strings and I got a house there for two weeks. Supposedly it's the closest thing to heaven."

"I haven't been there in years, ever since our families vacationed there back in seventy-one." Jacob admitted. "Too pricey for me, but apparently, I got a pay raise since I'm now the Tok'ra Liaison."

George threw a few things into his briefcase, and then he grabbed his satellite phone.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked Jacob casually.

"Going to the condo. Selmak and I need to chat, I think," Jacob admitted quietly. "It's like being married, George, and I just wish she came with an instruction manual."

Hammond barked a laugh, "Don't we all, Jake. Don't we all."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow," Jacob informed him. "We'll go to the church and then the grave, after that we can drive to Big Sur. Should take about twenty hours, but I'm not doing anything right now."

* * *

Stepping into his condo was like stepping into another world. It was neat, for one thing. That meant that Samantha had stopped by and straightened everything as he dimly remembered leaving it rather messy on the day he had been admitted to the hospital. 

Sam was so much like her mother. Her handiwork was everywhere, as everything was neatly organized. The newspapers were stacked on the dinning room table, just in the off chance that he'd be home to read them. Like he was suspecting, there was nothing in the refrigerator except for a few containers of beer, but the freezer was full of frozen food.

George had been here also, as there was a stack of mail that had been neatly opened and organized. He flipped through it quickly, noticing with approval that George had scribbled down a date and check number on every bill.

"I'm glad you're keeping an eye on my bills, George," Jacob laughed. "Sam has a slight problem balancing her check book. You'd think if she can get a doctorate in astrophysics, she could handle that."

The inspection completed, he then showered quickly and changed into a comfortable pair of sweats and an old t-shirt. Selmak was still ignoring his mental queries, and refusing to talk to him, so he knew what he had to attempt.

"Let's see if we can align our souls, Sel. Ready or not, here I come. But this time, we're doing it my way," Jacob growled.

Lying on his bed, he began listening to Giuseppe Verdi's Il Trovatore. Closing his eyes, he reached inward and upward letting the sounds of the Anvil Chorus take his soul wherever it wanted...

* * *

It took a dozen or so tries, but finally he hit the sweet spot. Garshaw would be horrified if she ever heard that term. But then again, no doubt she'd disapprove of aligning one's soul to the sounds of Italian Opera. 

"Alignment, Jacob, it is our most sacred link between host and symbiote."

It didn't really matter what the hell you called it, but there had been an almost audible click when he hit the precise intensity of meditation required to align their souls.

"Selmak, guess who?" he thought.

No answer.

Carefully, he opened his eyes, and he was surprised to realize that he was... home.

Really home. In the house that he had shared with Anne, Mark and Sam in the happiest days of his life. There were even chocolate chip cookies sitting on the table. Yes, they were the ones Sam always made, lopsided, but still edible. Well, most of the time, at least.

"Selmak!" he called. "Where are you?"

No answer. God, he could almost smell the cookies, so he decided to take one. They were figments of his imagination after all. But naturally, he got busted. He always had gotten caught swiping them in real life.

"Dad! Don't!" Sam's voice cried out in an all too familiar protest. "They're for supper."

"Sammy?" he questioned, trying to locate her. "Where are you?"

Jacob walked through the house, looking for his daughter without success. He was alone in the house and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Another figment of my overworked imagination. The hell with it, I'm having more cookies," he decided, as he opened the refrigerator for some milk.

If Annie were here, she'd pop up from nowhere shortly and say...

_**?Jacob, you'll spoil your dinner?**_ Selmak said softly, on cue, even as he poured the milk into a glass.

Fortunately, he was getting the hang of this alternative reality, because he wasn't startled when Selmak spoke. You thought of people, and they arrived. It was good that he was becoming adjusted, else he would have had dropped the milk carton on the floor

Out of the corner of his eye, Jacob gave Selmak a long look. She was taller than he was by a few inches and muscularly built. Not too excessively so, but there was a sense of solidness to her as though she worked out regularly. She had long blonde hair that was neatly pinned back in the properly approved military fashion. Undone, it would probably come down to the middle of her back if not lower. To his amusement; Selmak was wearing green fatigues with the name SELMAK on them and assorted patches that looked like Tok'ra insignia. Yes, naturally, she wore three stars.

Her movements were quick and economical, not wasting any motion, but yet there was a serpentine type grace to her movement. Watching her, Jake decided that Selmak was a bar room brawler, if he was any guess of character. Selmak wouldn't start anything, but she would end it, quickly.

Selmak wasn't pretty, not by a long shot, but still her appearance was striking. Perhaps, it was because her face had character. She possessed fine laugh lines around her eyes and assorted other little details that made Jake view her instinctively as a contemporary in age and experience. But she wasn't laughing, nor grinning in amusement. No instead, Selmak was watching him as surreptitiously as he was watching her.

Her shoulders were tensed, and she reminded him of nothing more than a deer. One quick movement or even a sharp word would cause her to flee.

Time to be gentle, Jake, he warned himself.

"Do you want some?" Jacob offered.

Not getting a response, he decided to pour her a glass. He handed it to her, hoping that she realized it for the peace offering it was.

"You need this with Sammy's cookies. Sometimes, she experiments and they get a little dry," he explained. "Let's sit on the sofa in the living room and talk, Sel."

The blonde woman nodded in agreement, and she sat down opposite Jake.

"Aren't you happy? I finally got it," Jake questioned with some asperity. "We can really talk now. I thought that's what you wanted."

Selmak nodded.

Having been through numerous fights and their aftermath with Annie, Jacob realized that Selmak was trying very hard not to anger him again. He couldn't really pinpoint how he knew that, but perhaps it was in the set of Selmak's shoulders or the way she tried to hide her face. Or perhaps, he was just finally beginning to understand her.

"Do you know why you're a blonde?" Jacob asked. "Did you pick the coloring on purpose because Annie and Sam are both fair-haired? Or was Saroosh a blonde?"

His symbiote shook her head, and he realized that by mentioning Saroosh, he had reopened her grief. Damning himself for being an insensitive idiot complete with two Capital I's, Jacob reached for Selmak and he hugged her tentatively. He wasn't surprised when she started weeping; it was just the amount of grief that astonished him.

"Come on, let it out, Sel, even the great and might Selmak can grieve," he reassured her. "It's rule number ninety seven in the Tau'ri-Tok'ra accords. Let it out, let it out."

Continuing to stroke her back while she wept, Jacob was relieved when Selmak's tears slowed. She was getting his T-shirt rather soggy, but truth be told, her devastating grief was being to affect him.

"Why didn't you talk to me?" He questioned gruffly. "I would have listened, Sel."

Instead of answering, Selmak snuggled close to her host, and he realized that she was almost asleep.

_**?Cold...?**_ she whispered.

Somehow, he managed to get her feet and his on the sofa, so the two of them were sprawled out on the couch. With his free hand, Jake covered her with an afghan and he was rewarded by her sleepy smile. Urged by some inner prompting he couldn't explain except that he knew it was coming from somewhere deep inside of him, Jacob kissed his symbiote on her forehead.

"Go to sleep, Sel. Shhh... I'll watch over you until you wake. It's my turn to stand guard."

* * *

Next morning: 

"Wait until you see it, Sel. I spent a lot of time restoring this after Annie died," Jake exclaimed excitedly as the two of them entered the garage.

Selmak made a happy, non-committal murmuring sound as she could sense his anticipation. With a flourish, he pulled the car cover off and he laughed in delight. Looking through his eyes, Selmak felt her host's pride in restoring the car, and she gave him an approving hum.

"It's a 1967 Corvette convertible, and it's a rarity as it's a black car, with black interior and a black soft cover with a red stinger on it. It's only got twenty thousands miles on it, and I can't wait to see what it can do."

Things were going much better between them, and she listened to Jacob talk about the 'vette for some time. She and Jake had finally aligned their souls, and they had spiritually communed together. That significant breakthrough in their tattered relationship had reassured her that she had taken the correct action to leave the Tok'ra tunnels and come to this strange world.

"Even George hasn't seen this baby yet. Well, not recently," Jacob explained again.

_**?He'll be quite impressed.?**_

"Selmak, when we get to the church, you've got to promise me that you'll behave," her host said. "If you start flashing your eyes and speaking in tongues, we'll have an exorcism on our hands. And I don't feel like being doused with Holy Water and having to explain why I'm suddenly possessed by a demon."

Her host was in an upbeat mood, and Selmak purred contently inside his head.

* * *

George Hammond's eyes literally lit up when he finally saw the 'vet. 

"Jake, this is sweet," he said, in real admiration. "I can't believe that you actually got the car finished."

"Lot of effort and a lot of time," Jake admitted. "But don't worry, you'll be driving it."

"Don't go too fast," George chastised him. "Don't want to lose my hat, especially since the top's down."

"Yeah, don't want you getting your dome sunburned, now do we?" Jake teased.

* * *

Selmak noticed that her host grew quieter and more downhearted while they drove along. 

_**Wonder if Mark's gonna be there. Sam can't be.**_

By the time Jake had pulled into the church; he was in one of the bleakest moods Selmak had ever encountered from him. It took her host several minutes to straighten out his suit and collar, and George made no comments about how long it took Jake to make sure he was properly attired. Her host even ran his hands over his shortly cropped crew cut, and only then did he nod at George after he put on his wraparound shades.

"Better keep the sunglasses on," he said shortly. "Though it makes me look like I'm a member of the Mafia."

_**Sel. Behave.**_

Deliberately, he entered the church, and dipped his finger into the stoup. Then after making the sign of the cross he entered into the sanctuary. Selmak noticed that General Hammond didn't follow what her host was doing though he appeared quiet and respectful. Jake then genuflected and entered the pew and then George sat next to him.

"Forgot, you're Southern Baptist, aren't you, George?" Jake questioned. "That's why you never go to Disney, eh?"

"Yes, so you'll have to keep an eye on me."

* * *

Her host stood, sat, kneeled, prayed and sang at different times during the ceremony, and it made her feel more at ease when she realized that General Hammond wasn't sure of what to do next either. The observance was very arcane and ceremonial to Selmak, and she tried very hard to be on her best behavior, but she could sense Jacob's grief. At last, she had to act. He was her host, and she his symbiote, why could she not support him through this? 

**_?You're not alone, Jacob.?_**

Carefully, she sent him a groundswell full of compassion, wanting to express her affection and her sympathy for her host. Her Tau'ri. Her Jacob.

_**?I am yours, and your sorrows are mine.?**_

He wasn't expecting it, she could tell, as her host gasped unexpectedly. Then, to her horror, he put his hands over his mouth. Then an emotional Jake left the pew and raced toward the door.

* * *

General George Hammond stormed after his grieving friend, and he found him leaning against a tree. Jake was visibly upset and George knew him well enough to stand back. 

"Damn, damn, damn, damn," Jake swore in a ragged voice. "George... I can't handle this..."

"You can't handle what?" George responded cautiously.

"Her," he answered in a strange voice and he deliberately pointed at his head. "George.... I think I'm going mad. Get me outta here, and quickly."

"Absolutely. Where do you want to go from here? Do you want to just leave for Big Sur?"

"Yes.... No... Wait..." Carter began rambling. "I promised her we'd stop at the florist, pick up flowers and then go to the grave site. Can't break that promise."

Jake's abnormal behavior was beginning to make George's few hairs stand up on the back of his neck. But as Jake's closest friend, George knew his responsibilities. Get Jacob calmed down, and keep him away from anything sharp until his fey mood passed.

"She'd understand if you didn't go, Jacob," George reassured his friend. "Annie will understand."

"It's not Annie, George... I promised Selmak," Jake blurted. "I can't break my promises to her. Do you understand? I broke so many promises to Annie... but Selmak's in my head. I can't tune her out... I can't...break my promises to her because she'll never forget them... I...never hear the end of it... For hundreds of years, George... I'll hear about how... I... My God, George.... Do you think Sam did this to me on purpose?"

Jake grabbed George by the shoulders and shook him. His grip was agonizingly strong, and George tried not to wince from the pain.

"Answer me, George. _**Truthfully**_. You're the one person I could always expect the truth from no matter how ugly. Did my daughter do this to me on _**purpose**_, knowing damn well that I wasn't capable of handling it? She lived through this for just a short time with Jolinar...and... and...Do you think she wanted to rip open _**every**_ old wound?"

George stared at his old friend who was visibly shaking. Then George watched as Selmak took over Carter's body. He straightened up, and his ragged breathing slowed down.

"We will go to the florist, and then to the gravesite, General. I am not requesting it for myself, but for Jacob. He has obligations to his wife, and I will ensure that he fulfills them." Selmak said in that strangely deep voice. "Do not worry; Jacob is sleeping right now. I thought it best."

"Selmak, what the name of seven hells is going on here?" Hammond growled.

* * *

While George drove, Selmak explained the situation. Well, not every part of the situation, for she did not mention the Council's threat to find her a new host. As she expected, her discussion with General Hammond strained their awkward relationship even further. 

"Selmak, give me one reason why I should trust you," he said bluntly. "Because, I don't believe that you're telling me everything. You have systematically lied to me ever since you came through the Star Gate. You're AWOL aren't you?"

"Yes, General, we are," Selmak answered softly. "The Council did not wish us to leave the facility."

"What will the Council do then? They must have noticed that their problem children aren't there anymore," Hammond curtly questioned. "I've just left my replacement with an intergalactic issue that he's not prepared for, thanks to you."

"They will send a representative through the Chappa'ai. I believe that it will be Martouf and Lantesh, unless they discover..."

"Let me guess, Martouf and Lantesh are involved with this also? And you probably twisted their fascination with Captain Carter to get them to assist in this stunt," George thundered.

"Martouf and Lantesh agreed to keep an eye out on Jacob for Captain Carter," Selmak admitted.

"Why the medical records? Why the locked box? We x-rayed it; I know that there are vials in there. What are you planning?"

"I will repudiate him as a host," Selmak admitted uneasily. "If there are no other options available. I had hoped that this... road trip... would steady our bond. I believe that it will, so it will not be necessary to do that."

"So he'll die," George interrupted. "You're going to kill him."

"Not if I do it, that's why I brought the medication with me. It will make the transition easier for him, and he will survive. You must let me do it."

The intensity of her plea obviously surprised Hammond, and he pulled into the florist shop before he spoke again.

"Give me one reason why I should trust you, Selmak. One good goddamn reason that will make me understand why you haven't told Jacob any of this," Hammond said.

His icy blue eyes were piecing, and Selmak trembled deep in her soul. It was long past time to tell Hammond the truth, or as least as much of it as she dared.

"They will kill him if the Council finds us," She confessed that regretfully. "They believe that he has unbalanced me, and that it is essential to break our bond. The Council will break the bond, and in the process, they will slay my Jacob. I ask you, General Hammond, based on the ring you wear to honor your dead, to assist me in saving his life. There is no one I can trust on the Council or here. The Alliance between our peoples depends on how this situation is resolved, General. I must be given time to strengthened our bond."

* * *

"What an absolutely lovely planet," Colonel Jack O'Neill sighed in mock delight. "Don't you agree, Daniel?" 

Samantha Carter, Captain in the United States Air Force, tried not to sigh. Sometimes, Colonel O'Neill beat a subject until it was dead. In this case, the subject was long past dead and smelling pretty foul.

Oops, it wasn't the subject.

The rank, reeking odor was in fact coming from them.

"I warned you, but did anybody listen to me?" O'Neill continued. "Any place that has four thousand words to describe nasty odors isn't a very nice place to plan a vacation."

To her surprise, Teal'c entered the code on the Dial Home Device. Apparently, even his super Jaffa resiliency had taken a beating from this mission, or else he was thinking of hitting O'Neill each time he punched in a coordinate.

The wormhole opened, and they were soon standing on the ramp in Cheyenne Mountain complete with greeting committee. There was a white haired one-starred General standing where Hammond usually did, the Marines were heavily armed and there appeared to be an altercation starting.

"Are we in the right Iowa, Dorothy?" O'Neill asked.

"I'm not sure," Daniel admitted.

One of the figures turned from where they were standing with their backs to the away team, and faced SG-1.

"You!" Thundered Garshaw as she pointed at Samantha Carter. "_**Where is Selmak**_?"

Naturally, O'Neill decided to intervene with his unique brand of charm.

"And Hello to you too," Jack O'Neill growled before he motioned downward with his hands. "Can we put the weapons down? General? Councilor Garshaw?"

General Nelson gave a quick gesture and the Marines shifted into their 'at ease' position, which meant it would take all of two seconds to fire their guns, as opposed to one. The Tok'ra contingency also put their Zats away, but their hands were noticeably close to them. O'Neill noticed that Marty was looking particularly forlorn, more so than his norm and he sighed. Marty was involved somehow, someway with the disappearance of Carter, Senior, and Marty didn't want the other Tok'ras to know even though he wore a rather guilty look on his face.

"Jacob? You don't know where Jacob is?" Captain Carter asked in real concern. As was her norm, she never used 'Dad' to describe him except when she was off-duty. It was an indication of her hyper concern for her father that she failed to notice that Martouf was acting odd, as normally she would have focused on that immediately. Sometimes, Samantha Carter was a bit too focused.

"Your Jacob has taken Selmak and we do not know where. We assume that he has returned to his home planet," Garshaw declared regally.

"Is it even physically possible for Jacob to do anything of which Selmak doesn't approve?" O'Neill questioned loudly. "You know that we are still figuring out that whole two souls, one physical body, but I think I see a major flaw in your idea, big enough to fly the space shuttle through it."

He strode down the ramp and gave a cocky salute to General Nelson, who was shaking his head in disapproval.

"Sir, permission to speak freely?" O'Neill asked with a bright smile.

"Colonel O'Neill, I have been thoroughly briefed by General Hammond on his personnel, including the fact that you speak freely most of the time, as exemplified by your recent comments to the Tok'ra" Nelson said.

O'Neill's smile faded, as here was someone who wasn't amused by his sarcasm.

"If we could possibly take this discussion to the conference room, I feel it would be for the best," General Nelson continued.

"Sir?" Captain Carter asked. "If I may ask, where is General Hammond?"

"He took leave, and the Pentagon was duly frightened by the thought of Colonel Jonathan O'Neill being left in charge of this facility. That's why I'm here," Nelson said in a very dry tone. "But first, might I recommend the use of a shower for the SG1 team? We will meet in one hour in the Conference Room."

"General, I insist that we don't keep our honored guests waiting, we can have the meeting now," O'Neill insisted.

General Nelson looked directly into Jack O'Neill's eyes and gave him the most intimidating glare that he had ever seen. If it had been anyone else but Jack O'Neill, they would have jumped into the shower fully clothed. As it was, the look even made the fearless O'Neill step back just an itty-bitty bit.

"Consider it an order, son," Nelson growled.

* * *

Samantha Carter was surprised when Nelson pulled her aside. 

"Let the boys have the shower first, if you don't mind, Captain," he growled.

"Yes, Sir."

"Come in Hammond's office, I want to speak to you," Nelson informed her.

Nelson sat down easily in Hammond's chair, and motioned for her to sit. On the desk was her father's personnel records and Hammond's.

"Captain Carter, I must express my deep concern about this situation and the possible ramifications. I am finding myself in over my head with angry aliens allies and misplaced generals. According to the station logs, your father has not been through the gate since he left Earth."

Samantha nodded, trying to hide her unease.

"The Tok'ra are claiming that Jacob Carter symbiote-napped, for the lack of a better word, Selmak, who apparently is pretty high up in Tok'ra food chain. They believe that the two of them are here on Earth for whatever reason and that they arrived a day or so ago. Interestingly enough, George put in a request for a leave starting yesterday about a week ago."

"No one who was working the first shift yesterday is scheduled to work for the next two days, Captain. Sgts. Sigler and Davis were sent for training in.... Fargo, of all places, and as far as I can ascertain, we don't have training facilities in Fargo. Plus there are various other patterns that are simply too bizarre to be coincidental such as our CMO deciding abruptly to visit her ailing grandmother."

Samantha Carter looked uneasy, as she knew that Janet Frasier's grandmothers were deceased. Hammond knew that also, as the two of them had gone to the funeral together. Something was amiss, and Janet was involved.

"How well does George know Jacob? Do you know?" Nelson asked. He had his hand against his face as though he had a migraine.

"In passing, I believe," Samantha said quickly. "They never really mentioned how they knew each other, Sir. All my father would say is that the two of them served together back when the Air Force really was this country's first line of defense."

Nelson shook his head, "I can just imagine your father saying that. Anyway, your father and Hammond served together in Eglin Air Base back in '70. Do you remember anything about Eglin?"

"Not much, I was four or so," Sam admitted.

"They had a rather eventful tour of duty during that time frame. They crashed a plane, a Phantom, and then spent two days in the wilderness waiting for the search and rescue teams to find them. Your father broke his ankle plus a few other bones and Hammond had a head injury and few cracked ribs. I'm assuming that they became pretty close friends because of that, and that dear old George is up to the top of his bald dome in this situation."

Sam took a deep breath, and she couldn't help but blame herself for everything. It seemed like a good idea, to save her father from cancer by blending him with Selmak, and now there was hell to pay.

"My question is I know both gentlemen rather well, having played poker with them on more than one occasion, and I feel a certain amount of responsibility to assist them. But the question is how? Please, let me know, and I will do it. But I confess that I'm not sure what to do."

"I don't have the faintest idea, Sir," Samantha answered truthfully.

* * *

Selmak bowed her head, and then gave control back to Jacob. 

"I am beginning to really despise when she does that, George," Jacob growled as he opened the car door. "Whenever I do something she doesn't approve, out go the lights."

For added affect, Jacob snapped his fingers.

"I don't really like the dark, George, especially when I'm screaming my fool head off and no one's answering."

Shaking his head, George got out of the car, and he debated locking the 'vette's doors. Finally he decided not to bother, as the roof was down. He had parked it next to the door of the shop, and he'd just keep an eye on it.

"Before we go into the store, I want to ask you something," George motioned for Jake to stand next to him. "How are you... feeling?"

He tried to keep his concern about Jake's mental stability out of his voice, but Jake flushed.

"I'm not howling at the moon yet," Jake said shortly as he straightened out his suit in his instinctive ritual of putting on armor whenever he felt ill at ease. "But last night wasn't a full moon."

"Jake, I'm not implying anything as you know that. If I thought you were nuts, I'd come right out and say it. If you remember, in fact, I have told you several times over the years that I thought were loco."

That truthful remark earned a rueful laugh from Carter. Making sure that there was no one nearby, he spoke quietly to Hammond.

"I should be honest though," Carter admitted. "I think my inner snake is really trying to keep me sane though her methods are...alien, for the lack of a better word. Whenever I get start getting... shaky, she takes over until I'm... steadier. It could be a lot worse, George. I don't think a Goa'uld would care about keeping her host sane."

"The Tok'ra are different from them," George admitted slowly, not wanting to condone or condemn Selmak's actions. "We're still figuring out the distinctions."

"George, I don't think that the majority of the Tok'ra would have put up with this... hassle. If it wasn't for Selmak's getting me off world when she did... I think I would have been dead by now, George. I really do. And I would have nothing more than a heartrending footnote in the long history of the Tok'ra."

Hammond swallowed, and he looked away from Jacob. He hadn't wanted Jacob to corroborate what Selmak had told him, and yet Carter had.

"George, what is she doing? You must know, she talks to you and she won't let me hear the conversations. What is she confiding to you that she can't or won't tell me?"

Jacob's low voice was very intense, and George wondered what to say. Even if he did speak the truth, would Selmak allow Jacob to hear it? For there was no doubt in his mind, that Selmak was watching the situation warily, like a trapped rattler.

"He won't enlighten me, Jacob. I don't think he completely trusts me," admitted George who was still having difficulties in calling Selmak, 'she'. "Selmak only gives me a little bit of information at a time, but what I can tell you...."

"Yes. Go ahead, George. Tell me the bitter, painful truth," Jacob interrupted.

"... Isn't much more than you know yourself. I'm a little concerned about Selmak, Jacob. If he were under my command, I'd call him... a poster child for post-traumatic stress. In the Gate Room, he was going to attack whoever was dialing in after you showed up. And I don't mean just defending; Jacob, I think Selmak was planning on annihilating whomever that had the misfortune of dialing Earth when he was standing on the ramp. What do you know about Selmak, Jake?"

"Bits and pieces," General Carter admitted softly. "A little bit about the host before me. Her name was Saroosh, but I know nothing about the hosts previous than Saroosh except for the fact it was pretty traumatic how one of them died."

* * *

_**My host's brother in arms thinks I'm unstable.**__**I trusted you, General. I thought I could. I can't trust you. I can't confide in you. **__**I have no one to trust. **__**No one.**_

_**I am alone on this bizarre world, and I have no one to assist me save my host. I did the wrong thing by coming here. **__**But the Council would have taken him from me. I can't let that happen.**_

_**Not my Jacob.**_

_**Not after my Saroosh.**_

* * *

"Pick up for Jacob Carter," Carter informed the sales clerk. "I also want to look around, and I'll probably get a few other things." 

"No problem," said the young girl with the pierced eyebrow, the short cropped shirt and bright purple hair. "Just let me know when you're ready."

Carter tried not to flinch when he saw that her tongue and belly button were pierced. He just didn't understand the fascination with body piercing, but he was from another time, and another planet now.

_**Next thing you know, she'll split her tongue. Speaking of split tongues, Sel? You there?**_

No answer, but he could sense that his inner snake was deliberating obsessively about something and that her mental tone was guarded. He waited for a few moments, and then for good measure, Jake hissed at her and mentally flicked his tongue at his inner snake.

Still no response.

It was rather bizarre that he wasn't the recipient of a Selmak Sunday Special, a mental thwack across his noggin, regarding the split tongue comment or the inner snake. Typically that was good for a concussion or two from Selmak and the hissing and tongue flicking should have really irked her.

_**SELMAK! This is your host speaking...errr.. thinking. Whatever the hell I'm doing right now, I am directing it towards you, young lady!**_

No response. If anything, her worried mutterings became more intense.

_**Selmak, the name is Jacob Carter, REMEMBER ME?**_

**_?... yes ??? ?_**

Very soft voice. Not a good sign. She wasn't feeling secure in the current situation and was fretting over it. Was it because of George's comments? Having your mental stability questioned was a good way to ruin your day, as he was finding out in spades recently. Deliberately, Jacob spoke to his inner snake in a very gentle tone.

**_We're in the florist shop. I promised you that we'd stop and here we are. What do you want to buy?_**

**_?... what would you suggest? ...?_**

Really hesitant voice. Definitely not a good sign.

"First woman I know that doesn't seem to like shopping," Jake confided to George. "What should she get?"

That question earned a roll of George's icy blue eyes and a disapproving look.

"Jacob, he's your symbiote, you help him," George informed him in a quiet whisper. "Though I suggest that you two don't talk to each other out loud."

_**I would pick the particular colors that remind you of her. What do you think of when you think of your hosts?**_

That simple suggestion unleashed something inside Selmak and Jake could only go along for the ride as she relived it. They were flashes of something, but each of them carried a mental punch that left him reeling.

_The olive green of Jacob's fatigues and the grayish pallor of his face when they had first met. "What's there not to like? I'm a teddy bear." The dull colors of the tunnels. A scared little girl sobbing in the dark while Selmak crooned to her. "Selmak, we have a new host for you. Her name is Saroosh and she has agreed." Scarlet blood pouring from a life-killing wound. Arik tree-ac te kek The almost liquid blue of the Chappa'ai wormhole. The earthy brown soil that soaked up the lifeblood that spilled from her host. A young man, a boy really, lying in state in front of the Chappa'ai. The charred, gaping wound in his chest. The sound of Selmak wailing as she clutched his bloody body against hers, uncaring of the blood that stained her clothes. Orange flowers being handed to her by the grinning young man who had been cut down in his prime. "Jana, when I was on the surface, Norak and I picked these for you and Selmak as they reminded us of you. As you can see, they are quite pretty but they have dagger like thorns." An overwhelming sense of loss. An Oriental woman, one of the most breathtaking women Jake had ever seen, who moved like a cat and wore bright silk and dark leathers that clung to her body like a second skin. Tak mal arik tiak. A young blonde woman who wore bright colors and who laughed easily. Another woman, but with dark hair and her neck bent at an ankle that no human could tolerate. "We have found you, Selmak, and we will take you home to heal." The bright flame that burned and burned, and would never stop burning. A scream of terror that erupted from his lips, continuing after his vocal cords were faw while as the fire continued to burn. A dark skinned, dark haired woman who had a rare smile that lit up the tunnels. A woman singing the tune that Selmak often hummed in his head._

* * *

Carter, the unwillingly victim of an onslaught of Selmak's memories, grabbed his head with his hands, and tried to remain in emotional control. 

"Jacob Carter," George said loudly. "Are you alright? You just muttered something. Arik tree-ac te kek! Tak tak mal arik tiak."

George mangled the pronunciation, but still Jacob knew exactly what George was saying. The two sayings were part of the Tok'ra funeral ritual.

_**We do not surrender, even in death. You will not be forgotten.**_

Everyone in the florist shop was looking at him in palpable concern, including the young lady with purple hair. Damning himself for lying, Jacob glibly assured George that he just stubbed his toe and had cursed in Japanese. Turning quickly on his toes, he glibly recited an apology in Japanese, which manage to confuse everyone. The other customers then decided as a group to give him a wide berth and then Jacob noticed George's disapproving glower.

"I know Japanese, Jake. That wasn't Japanese. Problems with...?" George looked at Jacob's forehead.

"Yup. Flashback," he answered shakily. "Pretty damn intense. Lot of dead people, George. Lot of 'em. Gallons of blood splattered all over the goddamn universe. I think I just met some of her previous hosts just now and none of them were in good shape if you know what I mean. I think... one of them was burned to death..."

"I know that you've promised to take her here, but I am strongly encouraging you not to take your new friend to the Mall of America," George said dryly.

That earned a startled glance from Jake and then he shook his head before he started to laugh slowly.

* * *

The two Generals and Symbiote managed to purchase their flowers without any further outbursts and mental breakdowns, but George breathed a sigh of relief once they left the store. When he had agreed to this trip with Jacob and symbiote, Hammond had no real comprehension of what he was getting himself into. Now, he wished he hadn't been as confident of handling the situation. Both Jacob and Selmak were getting shakier by the moment, and in the back of his mind, George knew that the Tok'ra had landed at Cheyenne Mountain. 

_**Janet Frasier better slip that envelope to Samantha Carter.**_

He had put into the envelope a picture of a very young Samantha Carter on vacation. Sam was contentedly digging her way to China from a beach in California, and she had been caught in mid-photo dumping the excavated sand on her sleeping father.

_**Let her remember the location. She'll know whereabouts to look for us, and this 'vette is pretty eye-catching, even without the DC plates that say BLUSKYZ.**_

"George, give me like thirty minutes, ok?" Jacob said while he started obsessively straightening out his suit.

"I've got my pad and my pencils, so I'll be over there, contentedly drawing," George pointed to an area that was close enough to be within earshot, but far enough way that Jacob could have privacy.

"George..." his friend said seriously.

There was an awkward silence between the two men, and then George tried to help Jake regain his composure.

"Don't thank me, General. When my wife died, you flew in from Germany," George reminded him sternly, though his voice wobbled noticably. "You kept me _**sane**_, Carter."

"And you're doing the same for me right now, George. I am so fortunate that you crashed my Phantom back in seventy on your first day at Eglin," Carter said with a slightly crooked smile. "Everybody else warned me not to fly with you again, and I said, 'Give the red-headed kid a chance, he can't crash two planes'."

Jacob gave Hammond a look of pure innocence, complete with outspread arms and a shit-eating grin. Hammond, in turn, pointed his index finger at Carter.

"Electrical short, Carter. Electrical Short."

* * *

In the corner of her host's mind, Selmak watched as he approached the gravesite. Deliberately, he placed a pebble on the top of the grave marker as part of a familiar ritual. While Jacob Carter wasn't Jewish, he utilized the tradition of placing pebbles on the grave marker at each of his visits to his wife. There were dozens of them on the headstone, and then Jacob placed the flowers next to the grave. 

Then he settled down next to the grave and placed both his hands on the tombstone over the inscribed "ANNE S. CARTER, BELOVED WIFE AND MOTHER".

"Annie, I'm afraid that I broke my word again. I'm not going to be joining you here as soon as I promised."

Jacob bowed his head, and then he continued after regaining his composure.

"You know, I always had... excuses... and this time is not an exception. This one's a doozie. I met this lady... who's actually... an alien, and she cured me of the lymphoma, so it's only right that I introduce you. Annie, this is Selmak, Selmak, this is my wife, Annie."

Using her native tongue, Selmak addressed Annie with the ritual welcome reserved for the initial meeting between a symbiote and her host's mate. It was an acknowledgement of the ties that bond them to the host and now to each other. Then, Selmak made her own personal pledge to Anne Carter.

_**?I honor the commitment he has made to you, and I will never come between you. I vow to you that I will protect my host with my life, and that I will return him to you safely or die trying.?**_

Then Selmak nodded her head, and mediated deeply until her host started to speak, "Sel, I loved her very much, and I never told her because I just didn't know how."

And her host wept.

Selmak sat quietly, waiting for her host to regain his composure. While she waited uncomplainingly, not wanting to intrude on his grief, Selmak focused on the flowers that they had brought. It seemed such a waste that they would die here.

_**Roses.**_

Jake had insisted on roses, as the flowers held a significance for him and Anne. It was shameful that the flowers had been cut as they would soon wilt and turn to dust. They should be a lasting tribute to their deceased, far more beautiful than the cold slab of marble that bore her host's wife's name.

Perhaps... she had an idea.

* * *

George Hammond looked at his watch. It had been almost an hour, and Jake was still at the gravesite, and Hammond was getting nervous. With Selmak onboard, they seemed to have scheduled a crisis every hour or so, and it was now overdue. After putting his pencils and art supplies away, and placing a note to Samantha Carter in a not too obvious spot, Hammond tried to make as much as noise as possible, so that Jacob would have sufficient time to compose himself. 

Jake didn't hear him, as he was... digging... at the ground by his wife's grave. It looked as though he was digging with his bare hands, as though he was a mad man.

"Jacob!" George called loudly. "What in the name of God are you doing, man?"

His heart sank when Jacob didn't answer him. That meant it was Selmak who was digging, and George was becoming more and more convinced that Selmak was splintering from the stress of dealing with Jacob.

"Selmak, what you are doing is a desecration. Jacob will not approve," George insisted intently.

That stopped Selmak cold.

"... I thought... he would..."

"Digging his wife up? I don't think you bring her back, she's twenty years dead, Selmak."

Selmak put his hands on his face as though he were trying to hide. He was rocking slightly, and then he stopped.

* * *

Jacob heard Selmak explain mentally to him what she had been doing. She seemed almost to be panicking; wanting to reassure him that she had truly meant no disrespect. 

_**?... the roses... they were dying...so...I caused their roots to grow...so to plant them... so it would be pretty... here...for her... among the cold stones. Did I do wrong?... Is it a defilement? I... will destroy them... I would not cause you more anguish... I thought you'd approve...I wanted to surprise you...I'd thought they'd be pretty...?**_

Perhaps a mental breakdown would be a good idea, Jake thought sardonically as he waved his hands around trying to settle everyone down. He wouldn't have to spend so much time reassuring the voices that were in and outside his head. George was glowering in his patented look of disapproval, Selmak was almost in hysterics because she recognized that George didn't trust her and Jacob Carter, USAF General Retired & Tok'ra Liaison, had a fucking headache the size of Kuwait.

And Iraq.

And Iran.

Oh what the hell, it felt like the _**entire**_ Middle East plus most of Asia was in his head and having a nuclear war.

"No, it's a lovely gesture, Selmak. It is, it is. Calm down, Sel, George didn't know what you were doing. You have this ability to scare the hell out of him on a regular basis. We're both old men, and he doesn't have a symbiote-enhanced ticker, so you need to warn him before you do things. You don't want to give George a heart attack. That would be bad, that would be very, very bad. I'd be upset if that happened."

Sel was now somewhere in the back of his brain, and he felt her blazing retreat at warp 9.9999 to her favorite hiding spot; no doubt she was now wrapped firmly around his medulla oblongata and hoping that he'd protect her from George.

Now time to deal with George. Wishing he could do something about his omnipresent migraine, Carter bemoaned the fact that he hadn't brought a bottle of scotch with him.

He sighed. "George, she's using the hand device to dig as she wasn't sure how else to dig the hole. Sel should have mentioned to me what she was doing, but Selmak wanted to surprise me. I think I have something we can use in the car if anyone has these unexpected urges to plant roses, but it's ok, because... they're planted. Very nicely, I might add."

Rubbing his temples with his fingers, Jacob Carter again wondered if his daughter had Tok'ra-ized him deliberately, just to even the score for everything that she and Mark had blamed him for. God knows he had been read the list of _**Jacob Carter's Assorted Crimes Against Humanity and the Carter Children**_ often enough from both his kids. But, if Sam had done this intentionally and purposely, trying to get her pound of flesh from him, Jacob was more than willingly to admit that she had won the war and that he was suing for peace.

"And now, I'm going request that you two get along, please. Sel, you're really getting George anxious and George, you're setting Selmak on edge. I require you both to get along, believe me. Because your distrust of each other is affecting me, and...I have enough problems right now, that worrying about which one of you I should trust when you disagree is just gonna push me over that fine ledge of sanity. Because, frankly George, I'd trust you with my life, and Selmak could easily kill me if she wanted to, so I've got to trust her with my life also."

That done, he knocked on his head mentally.

_**HELLO? Sel – you there?**_

"Sel, I want you and George to shake hands, and make up. Can you do that?" Jake asked.

No answer. One sulking symbiote, one glowering general and him. What a road trip from hell he was on.

"There's nobody home, I'm afraid. Must have gone to the mall," Jacob Carter sighed. "Please, George, you know I hate asking for anything, but I need you and Selmak to put away the big guns, please. George, you know the Tok'ra aren't going to be happy with what's happening, and they're probably in Cheyenne right now, claiming that I kidnapped Selmak."

George nodded his head in agreement.

"I need to get out of Denver, and on the road right now. If the Tok'ra get pissy enough, the Pentagon might put an APB out and I don't want to go back George. I really, really can't go back there."

* * *

Jack O'Neill always kept an eye on Daniel Jackson when he was showering. Not that type of eye, you understand, but Jack believed that the exciting events that occurred around him distracted the younger man, and sometimes his common sense disappeared to parts unknown. For example right now, Jackson was commenting on the unlikelihood of Jacob Carter symbiote-napping Selmak and he was excitingly discussing the concept of symbiotic and host freewill with a blasé Teal'c. 

"I am a Jaffa, I would not understand Jacob Carter's relationship with his symbiote," Teal'c reminded Jackson politely.

"Daniel," Jack interrupted. "Take your glasses off before you shower. I don't want to you to drop them and step on them accidentally. The last time you did that, Dr. Frasier said that she was going to let you walk around with the glass in your feet for a week."

"Oh. Oh yeah," Daniel said, as he took his glasses off. "I would have remembered, Jack. But as I was saying to Teal'c..."

"Marty's involved," Jack interrupted again. "We've got to get him away from the other snakeheads, and talk to him. I'm sure Carter Senior sent a message to Junior and Marty's not going to confirm that in front of the other snakeheads."

"Junior?" Teal'c questioned. "I do not believe that Jacob Carter would send a message to my symbiote. He is Tok'ra and my symbiote is a Goa'uld larva, I doubt that they would have a desire to converse."

"I'm talking about..." Jack stopped and glared at Daniel. "Did Teal'c just make a joke? Never mind, here's the situation. Somehow, we get to Marty and we'll get the information of him even if we've got to break the Geneva Convention a few times. It doesn't apply to alien life forms anyway..."

* * *

When the men were finally out of the showers, Samantha Carter gratefully sank on the bench in front of her locker. Sinking her head against her locker, she wished for someone, anyone to help her make sense of the current situation. 

"Mom, I really wanted to see you today, but it doesn't look like I'm going to be able. Dad's in trouble, and I have to help him," Samantha whispered as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. "There's nobody to help except for me. I know exactly where he is, but I'm not going to tell my supervisors because I know he's with you. It's the only reason he'd elope from the Tok'ra and come through the Gate without their approval."

Tears didn't help, and times like this she envied her father's aloof detachment. No matter how bitter their fights had gotten through her teenage years, Samantha had never gotten him angry. She had called him heartless and cold, even told him that she hated him and worse during their nastiest fights and her father had always taken her abuse without so much as a change in his expression.

_**Fine, Samantha. You and your brother hate me and wish I were dead instead of your mother, but you're still going to follow my rules while you're under my roof. It's how your mother would have wanted it, and that's how we're doing it.**_

The only time Samantha had ever seen her father lose his composure was when he told her about her mother. Even during the funeral, his face had been granite, refusing to show any emotion, except for when one pallbearer had turned from the fresh grave to salute him. The redhead had been in full dress uniform, the only pallbearer representing her father as the rest of them had been from her mother's family. Her father's façade had cracked slightly at that moment, and he had blinked rapidly before returning the salute.

_**Sammy, this is George Hammond. You don't remember him, but we served at Eglin Air Force Base together.**_

"He's with Hammond without a doubt. Oh God, Dad, this was premeditated wasn't it? Hammond's involved, and his leave request was last week. You planned this, and that meant Selmak knew and approved because he understood how much it meant for you to be home." Samantha opened her locker and then slammed it shut in frustration. "Which meant the Tok'ra weren't letting you leave. Oh God, Dad, what did I do to you?"

Something caught her eye as it fell to the floor, a small envelope with her name on it.

Carefully, Samantha picked it up and her heart fell when she recognized the handwriting. Not her father's illegibly scrawled Sammy, but General George Hammond's neatly precise, Samantha Carter, USAF, Captain.

* * *

Jack O'Neill growled mentally when he saw Carter enter the briefing room. She looked emotionally wiped, and he knew that she was going through hell with the disappearance of the Selmak-Jacob duality. 

To hell with finesse, sometimes it was now time to go for a full frontal Tok'ra assault. It was long past time to go postal on their snaky asses.

"General Nelson, I want permission to ask someone a question because I believe that he knows where Carter Senior is," O'Neill interrupted Garshaw who was highhandedly demanding Jacob's head on a platter.

"Make it so, Colonel," General Nelson replied.

Jack walked over to Martouf, who had his eyes closed.

"Marty, you know what's going on, don't you? You know where Jake is, and don't you think that his daughter needs to know?" O'Neill asked quietly. "She's worried, you know. She thinks Jake might be dead."

Martouf opened his eyes, and he gave Samantha Carter a penetrating look. Then he shook his head.

"I know not where Jacob Carter and Selmak are," the Tok'ra said quietly, visibly torn. "I wish I could say, but I can not."

"Marty, you know as well as I do that Selmak wasn't kidnapped by Jacob. Selmak's involved, isn't he?" O'Neill pressed. "Did you help Jake? Is that why you're not willing to admit anything? It's alright if you helped Carter's dad out, he's family, you know, and family's stick together."

"Did you help the Tau'ri leave, Martouf?" Garshaw asked in a very quiet voice, full of recrimination.

"No, I did not," Martouf said louder. "I did not help Jacob Carter or Selmak use the Chappa'ai."

His head bowed, and then the body looked up at O'Neill. His eyes were glowing brightly and there was a wicked smile on the normally reserved Martouf's face.

"Lantesh," Samantha said quietly.

"I helped Selmak use the Chappa'ai, so Selmak could bring her host home," Lantesh informed the all too quiet room. "Selmak wished to return Jacob to his home world so he could mourn his dead mate at the memorial ceremony he had prepared for her. Jacob was unaware of Selmak's plans, but I agreed to assist, as I did not agree with the council's refusal to allow him to return. Know this, Garshaw, that if Rosha and Jolinar were on this planet, nothing would prevent me from returning, _**not even though Ra should bar my way**_."

Jack O'Neill beat a strategic retreat, and he focused on his second in command. The blonde was nodding her head in agreement.

"He's in Denver," she said softly. "He's probably at the gravesite even as we speak."

* * *

General Nelson motioned for Garshaw, O'Neill, Carter and Martouf to remain in the room while everyone else left. He was smiling slightly, and he leaned back in his chair. 

"I think that under the circumstances, considering that this... Selmak... kidnapped the Tau'ri Liaison that we be allowed to handle the situation. I am sure that you agree that this is a highly volatile situation, and that we cannot be completely comfortable with how Selmak might handle the circumstances if your personnel get involved. My government will be, naturally, quite upset if General Carter is injured in this situation after having been kidnapped. O'Neill, I think that out of respect for our new allies that we allow them one member of their team to accompany you. Martouf-Lantesh?" Nelson questioned with a quick look at O'Neill.

"There's no one else I'd recommend from the Tok'ra, sir," O'Neill said cheerily, though in truth, he wouldn't recommend anyone from the Tok'ra.

"Wonderful. We will contact you when we have your personnel in custody," General Nelson informed Garshaw. "Thank you for your offers of assistance, I feel that we can handle it from here."

He nodded goodbye, and then he tapped his fingers against his face until Garshaw and Martouf left the room. The three remaining in the room were quiet until the unmistakable sounds of the Stargate assured them that the Tok'ra had left.

"Sir, if I might ask, why did you pick Marty?" O'Neill questioned.

"Selmak informed George that Martouf was the only one to be trusted among the Tok'ra," Nelson admitted. "And while I might doubt the wisdom of trusting the individual who waylaid Jacob Carter, George felt differently. It seems that George believes truly that Selmak has Jacob's best interests at heart."

* * *

Jake Carter got into his 'vette. Putting the sunglasses on, he decided what to do next. No doubt the Tok'ra were after him, and probably half the United States military and he felt his internal pressure increase. Better buckle up, Jake decided, as he knew that he was going to put his 'vette through the paces. It was almost twenty hours to Big Sur from Denver, and he was planning on getting there in ten. 

Deliberately, he took a deep breath and then he placed a small silvery ball on the dash. Upon his activation of it, it chirped merrily and then started blinking slowly in multicolored flashes. George swallowed quickly and he raised a questioning eyebrow towards Jacob.

"Tok'ra radar detector. You ready, George?" Jacob asked. "I plan on seeing how fast this car can go."

"Yes," Hammond said easily. "I'll go with you anywhere you want to go, Jacob."

"Good," Carter growled. "It's time to get on the road again, George."

_**On the road again  
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway  
We're the best of friends  
Insisting that the world be turnin' our way  
And our way  
Is on the road again**_

**_Just can't wait to get on the road again  
What I loved was flyin' jets with my friends  
And I can't wait to get on the road again_**

**_And I can't wait to get on the road again_**

**_"On the Road Again" Willie Nelson – modified by Jake Carter and George Hammond._**


	3. Who Are You?

_**Well, who are you? **_

_**I really wanna know **_

_**Tell me, who are you? **_

_**'Cause I really wanna know **_

_**Who are you? The Who**_

_**Story:**_ The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

**_Part III:_** Who are you? I really wanna know. 

_**Synopsis: **_

Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

When we last left our heroine and her cranky host, Jake was becoming unbalanced from the stresses of dealing with Selmak. George Hammond is becoming more and more concerned over what the blending has done to his old friend.

_**Rating: PG-13**_ Selmak and Jake swear a whole heck of a lot, I'm afraid.

**_Notes: ?Bold Italics?_** means Selmak is thinking so Jake can hear her.

* * *

"So where should we look first?" Jack O'Neill questioned his second in command. "If I was trying to escape from everyone..."

"You'd go fishing in Minnesota, which is the first place everyone would look for you," Samantha answered in an abnormally quiet voice. "Which is why I can't go to the first spot I'd know my dad would go. I need to go to his condo first. He probably left me a message, I'm sure he did. He couldn't have come to Earth and not leave me a message."

"Not to the cemetery?" Daniel Jackson interjected as he walked up to join them.

"It's on the way there. General Hammond is with Dad, and I know that he's keeping an eye on him," Samantha answered far too quickly. "But I've got to check something. I'll call you every day and I'll let you know where I am."

She strode toward the exit, and O'Neill looked at Jackson and then started commenting, "I think Carter's leaving, don't you? And I think she's trying to leave us behind."

Teal'c stepped out from nowhere, and stopped directly in front of Samantha Carter, and she was required to stop her forward motion before she ran into him. It would have been an impact akin to an eighteen wheeler hitting a brick wall at high speed. The Jaffa was wearing civilian clothes and a beige fishing hat pulled low over his forehead, and for once, his handy staff weapon was not to be seen.

"Samantha Carter, I wish to assist you locate your father," he said simply.

"No, you've got to stay here, I'm the one responsible for this, and I've got to fix it," she said quickly. "I Tok'ra-ized my own father and..."

"Carter. We're coming with you, because if you feel responsible for Jacob becoming a Tok'ra, then we feel just as guilty because when you came up with this crazy ass idea, we agreed that it was a good idea. If we had said, no I don't think that turning Jacob into a snakehead..." Jack's voice stalled when he realized what he had just said and he looked flustered.

"Jack... not a good thing to say," hissed Daniel.

"Anyway, Carter, Hammond told Nelson that we had to go with you," Jack said matter of factly. "And I, for one, am not telling Hammond that you decided to blatantly ignore a superior officer's orders, especially his."

That said Jack nodded his head, as he knew how Samantha Carter would react to that news. As he expected, she weakened almost immediately and nodded her head slowly. It was just too darn bad that Hammond had said no such thing, but O'Neill knew that it had slipped Hammond's mind.

"Shotgun!" Jack called loudly and with a false cheer he wasn't feeling. "Now kids, everybody get packed as we're going on a road trip. First stop, Denver."

"What if he's not there?" Samantha asked quietly.

"Then we will track him down, Samantha Carter," Teal'c answered quickly. "I will not rest until you have located your father."

* * *

"Samantha, I am sorry that I could not tell you where your father was. Selmak made me swear that I would tell no one," Martouf admitted softly.

That admission earned a wobble of Samantha's head. O'Neill was watching her in the rear-view mirror and he shook his head. The disappearance of her father was bothering her greatly, and he felt just as guilty about it as she did. More so, because O'Neill knew that he shouldn't have been blinded by the possibility of curing her father's cancer by turning him into a snakehead. Jacob wasn't his father, and he should have known that something would go wrong when dealing with the Tok'ra. There's always a Faustian cost to an offer that's too good to be true.

But something else was eating away at O'Neill.

Jacob Carter had been left behind.

With the Tok'ra.

With no way of communicating home.

And with no way home because the Tok'ra had refused to let him leave.

Those thoughts left a sick feeling in his gut as they chased each around in head and they always came back to that simple truth. Sam's father had been left behind, detained by the Tok'ra and held incommunicado because of him.

And Jonathan O'Neill blamed that firmly on himself because as a former POW, his number one rule was that no one ever got left behind. Yet he had been one of the ones that had cheered the loudest when Sam's father had walked away with the Tok'ra into the event horizon of the Stargate. They had potential new allies against the Goa'uld and Jake Carter was healed.

Therefore, O'Neill had to find Carter Senior and if he could kick some Tok'ra ass in the process, so much the better.

* * *

"Carter, we'll pulling in the driveway now. Take as long as you need," O'Neill informed her. "Is it alright if we come in?"

That earned another wiggle of her head, and O'Neill sighed mentally. Jackson pulled the van into the driveway, and Samantha was out of it before he had put on the parking brake.

"I'm not even parked," Daniel protested.

"Let her go, Daniel. Best thing we can do is just let her go and keep an eye on her."

Samantha entered through the garage and then she sighed. Turning quickly on her heels to view the garage, her blue eyes looked startled for a moment.

"What, Carter? What's a matter?" O'Neill questioned.

"The Corvette's gone," she said.

"Jake's got a 'vette? Wish I'd known, I would offered to take it out for a spin occasionally," he said dryly.

"I didn't realize that he finished it. He was restoring it, and then he got sick... and...." Samantha's voice trailed off as she continued looking through the apartment.

Carter opened the hall closet and she began rummaging through her father's clothes.

"His suit's gone," she muttered.

"Suit?" Jackson asked, waiting to make sure that he had heard her correctly.

"Means he's definitely visiting my mother. Dad always wears a suit when he goes there. He doesn't wear his uniform when he visits her; he always wears his best suit. It's not in the closet, and I know it was there, because he was planning on being buried in it, so he has it," Sam rambled. "Dress shoes aren't there. Suitcase is missing."

Someone entered through the garage and everyone turned to face the newcomer. Janet Frasier gave them a weak smile.

"Janet?" asked Samantha. "Aren't you visiting... your... grandmother?"

"General Hammond's reassigned me to SG-1 for this mission, and so I needed to find someone to watch Cassandra. That's why I met you here instead of at the base. Visiting my grandmother was just an excuse to get me off the base for the next two weeks. Did you get the envelope?" Janet asked quickly.

"Yes, I think I know what it means, but I have to find the scrapbook. I don't remember this picture at all..." Samantha admitted. "I think they're in the living room."

Martouf, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c all looked at each and tried to think of something constructive.

"I'll go wait outside," said one, and the other three agreed quickly.

"Men," Janet Frasier said dryly with a roll of her eyes. "First sign of trouble and they run to the door. How are you doing, Sam?"

Janet hugged Samantha, and she was surprised by how tightly Sam hung onto her.

"Pretty shaky," the blonde admitted with a few sniffs. "I'm glad you're coming with us, because I can talk to you. They don't understand."

"I think that's what General Hammond thought," Janet admitted with a saucy grin. "I'm supposed to tell you something, and I couldn't say it in front of the boys. General Hammond believes Selmak has your father's best interest at heart. He's in a difficult position, you know. Selmak didn't want Hammond to tell you where your father is, so Hammond's going to be dropping as many hints as he can. It's not that Selmak doesn't trust you, Hammond thinks that it's because you and your dad have a slightly tense relationship and that Selmak wants Jacob to be completely free from any stress right now. Hammond doesn't approve, as he thinks you'll be the one to get through to your father."

The Doctor slowed and gave Sam an impish smile. "Per the General, 'I have absolute faith in the fact that Captain Carter will figure everything out, and until then, I'll keep both eyes firmly on that stubborn mule of a two star general'."

Sam nodded her head, and she gave a weak laugh. "You've been practicing your impersonations of Hammond, haven't you? That sounded just like him."

Janet nodded and squeezed Samantha's hand. "Come on, let's go look at the scrapbooks."

"I think it might be this one," Samantha exclaimed as she pulled out a heavy red leather scrapbook. "My mom always took a lot of pictures when she was alive. Jacob was never home as he was always overseas, and she used to mail him all these pictures of us..."

"Sam, you can call your father Dad with me, you don't need to be a good solider. In this woman's Air Force, it's alright," Janet said softly.

"I know," Samantha admitted with a wry smile. "But the one characteristic about my father that I always admired was that Jacob... DAD... was always in control emotionally. We had some vicious fights when I was growing up, and he never lost his composure."

"Sounds like a hard man to get to know," the doctor admitted sympathetically. "He's a lot like my father, in fact. Let me see the picture."

"This is from seventy one, and I'm probably five or so. We're at a beach, and..."

"You're about to pour a bucketful of sand on your sleeping father," Janet laughed. "Samantha Carter, you were an evil child."

"I don't think I was doing it deliberately," Sam said with a shake of her shoulders. "He must have been pretty pissed though. Come to think of it, he never let me have a sandbox when I was a kid. Whenever I asked him, he always had this strange look in his eyes..."

"Omigod, is that George Hammond with hair?" Janet asked in delight as she looked at the scrapbook. "You never told me that you went on vacation with George...and wore that cute little two piece."

Samantha had been distracted by the yellowed news clipping involving her father to notice the vacation pictures. She barely remembered what her father looked like when he was younger, and the grinning man with the friendly smile seemed at such odds with the emotionally guarded man he had become. He had his one arm wrapped around the neck of another man, whose distinctive nose confirmed that one time, yes indeed, George Hammond had a full head of bright red hair. The two of them were standing next to a search and rescue team, and the caption read, "Crew Found Alive after Two Day Search."

"This is after the two of them crashed their plane," she whispered. "What are you laughing about, Janet?"

"This picture of you in a two piece on vacation with our commanding officer," Janet said seriously. "I'm going to put this up on the wall at the commissary. Sure, you're only five years old, but I'm sure you're breaking some rule about fraternizing."

Janet laughed, and then Samantha joined in slowly. The release from her emotional tensions cheered Carter up significantly.

Perhaps, things were going to work out after all.

* * *

"He's gone to California. Big Sur," Samantha announced to her colleagues, trying to sound positive but failing miserably.

"Do you know where?" Jack asked gently before adding the obvious. "It's a big place."

"Daniel, please call General Nelson, and ask him to put out an All Points Bulletin for my father's car. There's not that many of those on the road, especially with two two-star Generals in it. Let's hope they can locate the car else we'll be searching from one end of Big Sur to the other. It's a sixty-seven Corvette convertible, black with a black soft top. It's got a red spoiler on it, and it has Washington DC plates that say Blue Skies," Samantha then spelt out the license plate for Jackson.

"Sweet," O'Neill said in truthful admiration. "Do you think Jake might let me take it out for a spin?"

"No," Samantha said bluntly. "He wouldn't even let me touch it until I graduated. With my doctorate," she added as an afterthought.

O'Neill visibly deflated while Daniel called the General. Jackson then repeated the conversation verbatim and then he listened for a bit, repeating key points.

"General Nelson... ah... wanted to let you know that they still haven't heard from General Hammond. There are a lot of solar flares occurring and it's playing havoc with satellite phones," Daniel informed Sam softly as he hung up. "He'll put the APB out, and the understanding is that we are just requesting that Jacob call you."

"Where to?" Jack asked. "Big Sur?"

"Denver. It's still early; we might be able to catch him at the church or the gravesite. I don't know which mass he's attending," Carter explained. "Then we go to California, as it's a place I went on vacation once. He's probably heading there."

Janet Frasier gave her a reassuring wink and whispered softly, "Just remember, Hammond's with him. If the two of them can survive crashing a plane and being stuck in the wilderness for two days then this is a piece of cake."

"I know," Samantha admitted. "But I just wish I knew why my father didn't leave me a message."

"He probably doesn't want to worry you," Janet said. "Parents are like that."

* * *

When they arrived at the church, they were informed that they had missed General, General and General's symbiote by several hours.

"How did he look?" Samantha asked the priest.

"I'll go wait in the van," Jack said helpfully. "Anyone care to join me?"

Janet tried to hide her smirk from Samantha when all the men decided to go to the van en masse.

"Considering I gave him last rights a few weeks ago, General Carter looked very well indeed. He didn't stay for the entire service, I noticed. He left abruptly in the middle of my homily, and his friend followed him," the elderly priest informed them.

"Thank you, Father," Samantha said softly.

"Is there a problem?" the priest questioned. "General Carter looked upset. I worried that I had said something to offend him."

"No, I wanted to come with him today, and we missed connecting, so I think he's disappointed about that. I'm just trying to locate him," Samantha admitted truthfully.

In her mind, Samantha Carter knew that it wasn't her fault. Her father was old enough to make his own decisions, and he had decided to join the Tok'ra.

But in her heart, she knew that she was to blame.

How much had his decision been based on the fact that he wanted to know what she really did for the Air Force before he died? How much of it had been due to fact that Jacob Carter knew that he'd be dead before he reached the ripe old age of sixty, and he was grasping at straws? How much of factor had been the simple fact that Samantha Carter and her father never spoken to each other about what was really important? The fights, the shed tears and the painful silences that had permeated their relationship for so long had prevented her from being able to reach out to Jacob when her father needed her most.

**_I have cancer. Lymphoma. Well, it's not good. But it's not the worst. Don't you worry. I'll be around for a while. Like I said, this thing's going to go on for months, so you don't have to check up on me tomorrow._**

His cancer had spread so quickly, and she never had made the effort to talk to him, to try and heal the breach between them. Her mother had always interceded between them, trying to broker a lasting peace between father, son and daughter. How many times had Anne Carter talked to Mark and her about their father?

_**Your father had a difficult upbringing, which is why he never mentions it. He'd do anything for you two. He loves you both very much, your father just doesn't know how to show it because no one ever bothered showing him how to when he was younger.**_

When Anne Carter had died, the truce had been buried alongside her casket. It had taken far too long for Samantha and Jacob to talk, and then it had always been a secret relief to Sam when their brief conversations were finished.

How old had she been when she had pneumonia?

Maybe seven or eight years old?

Her father had stayed with her at night in the hospital because she had been terrified and she had begged him not to leave her. None of the staff members could convince him to leave his daughter, and so they had allowed Jacob to stay. Jacob had slept in a chair next to her bed, wearing his uniform, sneaking catnaps while she slept. During the worse of her feverish dreams, her father had been there to comfort her and to reassure her that she wasn't alone.

_**I'm here, Sammy. Your dad's not going anywhere, I promise.**_

And yet, when he had been dying, the Air Force had called her away.

Now she was the one that had the stilted conversations with her loved one. It was the hardest thing she had ever done, calling her father on the phone, knowing that she was leaving him to find Jolinar's people.

**_Dad... Hi, it's me, Sam... What do you mean why am I calling, Dad? You just told me you have cancer, you can't... All right... Okay, never mind... Listen, uh... I'm about to go on a little trip... Yes, it's for the Air Force... It's not important where I'm going, Dad, what's important is that I may be gone awhile and I just wanted to call and see how you're doing... You're sure?_**

And then the Tok'ra held them hostage, and she had blamed herself for not being with him.

_He doesn't even know why I'm not there for him! He thinks I'm off somewhere working on some damn satellite dish or something!_

The damn Tok'ra. Damn it, if she had never gone... he wouldn't be alive, but he wouldn't be going through this either.

"It's all my fault," she whispered. Janet heard her, and gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

"It's not," Frasier said vehemently.

"I hope he's there, but I don't think he will be. It's been several hours since the mass, I don't think that he'll be there," Samantha admitted to Janet, her concerns for her father evident in her voice.

"We'll find out when we get there," Janet assured her. "Just remember, your father's in good hands right now."

* * *

"He's not here," Samantha repeated vehemently. "I just know that he's not."

"Carter, do you think that perhaps we could be inside the cemetery before you decide that he's not here?" Jack asked in a serious tone. "As much as I don't mind driving to California with you and the gang, I think we need to check the area out before we decide that he's not here. I'd hate to get to California and find out that he's still in Colorado. Your father is the type of person to do something like that."

Daniel Jackson decided to add his two cents to the conversation, "Besides, General Hammond might have left us another clue as to where they're going."

"Besides, 'Go West, Young Man'?" O'Neill asked brightly.

"Colonel, with all due respect, sir," Samantha Carter said in a very tightly controlled voice. "Shut up."

* * *

George Hammond was not a man who relied on prayer. When he had a problem to deal with, he attacked the dilemma firmly, head on, and took his lumps. It was his Texas upbringing that prided itself on self-sufficiency.

Not today.

Today he was praying as fervently and zealously as though he was sitting in a tent at an old-time Southern Baptist Revival Meeting.

**_"Dear God, Jacob's going ninety seven miles an hour. Please don't let him hit anyone, as I'd like to get back to my grandchildren in one piece. Thank you much for your consideration. Sincerely, George Hammond,"_** he prayed with great sincerity.

Jacob Carter, speed demon and the subject of a three state, minimum, manhunt flashed George Hammond a wicked smile.

"What's a matter, George? Are you scared?" Jacob asked in an almost manic voice. "Come on, we broke the sound barrier, George."

_**"Dear God, it's George again. If I haven't used up my quota for today, please send whatever assistance you can my way in reference to Jacob Carter. I'd truly and deeply appreciate it,"**_ Hammond added as a postscript immediately.

"Here's the game plan. Let Carter go to the grave, and the five of us will be examine the ground in a star-type pattern with the grave as the center. If Hammond left us anything, it's probably not where Jacob and Selmak could see," O'Neill instructed his team. "So we need to spread out."

"What are we looking for?" Martouf questioned intently.

O'Neill had noticed that Martouf was being extremely focused, as though he could somehow make up for the fact that he had helped shanghai Jake Carter. Or had Lantesh help rescue Carter Senior? It was getting confusing, all these double personalities in one body. He needed a scorecard, and he didn't have the time to make one up. But it was coming down to one rule.

Don't trust the Tok'ra. Don't trust any of 'em.

Especially don't trust that Old Lady Snake that had shanghaied Jake through the Stargate.

"Anything out of the ordinary, Marty," Jack answered quickly.

"Colonel," Martouf reminded him in a very subdued voice. "Everything is out of the ordinary for me on this planet."

That earned a rapid blink of O'Neill's eyes as he realized once again that Marty was in fact, an E.T..

Damn it, Marty should have green skin and antennae or something, O'Neill thought, it's not that I forgot, but he just fades into the background. Maybe I should get him a really big sign that says "SNAKEHEAD".

"Ok, Marty, you're with me. Teal'c with Daniel and Dr. Frasier..."

"I'll stay with Sam, but I'll be by the tree over there. It's a pretty spot that overlooks the stream. It will be close enough to give her privacy, but I can keep an eye on her," Janet decided.

Jack gave her a grateful smile for volunteering. She heard his unspoken appreciation and she gave him a slight smile. "You're welcome, Colonel."

"The roses are new," Samantha noticed the addition immediately, and she counted the stones on the headstone automatically before adding her own to the collection. "More pebbles on the grave. He's been here six or so times since I was last here."

Hunkering down onto the ground, Carter decided to sit and face her mom's headstone so she could have a heart-to-heart talk with her mother.

"Hi, Mom, it's Sammy. As I mentioned to you earlier Dad's in a lot of trouble, and I'm trying to find him. It's been difficult since you died you know that. We haven't seen eye to eye and we can't talk to each other. Not like you and I did," Sam said in a very emotional voice.

"But when I find him, I'm gonna try harder, Mom. And when he pushes me away, I'm just gonna have to hug him harder," Sam sniffled, as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. "George Hammond is with him though. You probably remember George, his family and ours went on vacation together back in seventy-one. I feel kinda stupid, I mean, I didn't recognize him, but I haven't seen him in years and naturally, Dad refused to tell me that my new CO was his friend."

"Look, I know you can't do much for me, up there, but do you think that maybe you might be able to help me bridge that gap between us? You were the only connection between Dad and me."

For a moment, she remembered sitting in her room as her father walked in. It only was a week or so after her mother had died, and she could still remember how she had detested her father with a raw hatred at that moment. He had looked uncomfortable as though he could feel her hatred of him and then Jacob started talking, "Sam? Are you almost ready? Can we talk? Sam, you haven't said two words since...since the accident. Your brother's made it pretty clear how he feels."

"He blames you," she had spit that out at her father like it was a dagger.

Jacob had taken that comment like a good solider, without so much as flinching, and he admitted softly, "I blame myself." 

"Your work has always been more important than us," Samantha remembered accusing him.

Only now did she realize how untrue that comment had been. The military demanded everything you had to give and then some, uncaring of celebrations and family obligations.

How many times had she railed against her father, because her father had stood in the back at some godforsaken event wearing his dress blues? While other fathers had worn jeans or slacks, her dad had worn his work uniform because he had come directly from work, having juggled his schedule to attend.

And how many times had she had heard someone's beeper sounding, and she known that she would be getting a ride home from a friend's parent, who always had the same greeting, "Samantha, there's a problem at the base, and your father needed to go. Don't worry, he waited until you got your award... saw your recital... spoke your part...but he wants me to give you a ride home."

When she claimed that his work was more important than his family, did her father protest? Did he say that she was a selfish bitch? No, all her father had done was sigh, and say, "You know that's not true. I don't want you to forgive me and I don't know if I could accept that yet. I just want you to understand." 

"You were supposed to pick Mom up. You were late. She took a cab. There was an accident. I understand," Samantha had informed him, proud of the fact that she wasn't crying.

A soft protest, "I couldn't have known what would happen."

"Mom is dead."

As was his way, Jacob Carter made no excuses and no attempts at assuaging a jury that he knew had already tried and condemned him in absentia. "Nothing I could say or do could change that. All I can try to do is make sure the things she loved most don't die with her. Sam, without you and your brother, my life is over. Nothing else means more to me. Don't forgive me...just tell me one day we're going to be okay."

God, she could hear him the last time they had a chance to talk... before they put the alien in his head...

**_I was never good at this stuff, Sammy. You gotta know one thing. How proud I am of you. I'm not good at saying those things enough. Even when I thought you were this whiz satellite geek... I was proud...._**

Coming back to the present, Samantha then promised her father and her mother that everything would be okay.

"Everything's going to be okay, Dad," she said softly. "It will be. I know it."

Wiping her tearing eyes vainly, Samantha Carter vowed that this time, she wouldn't spurn her father's hesitant attempts at bridging the gap between them.

Thanks to this episode, she had finally realized the bitter truth, that both Carters had put emotional walls between each other and no one was completely blameless in the War of the Two Carters. There was always had been a bridge between Jacob and Sam, but they had just been too apprehensive to completely lower their defenses to cross.

* * *

Janet Frasier was sitting on a bench that overlooked a small stream at the cemetery. To her far right, she could see the blonde Samantha Carter was sitting next to her mother's grave. She could even watch the boys, as she called SG-1 and Martouf sardonically, attempting to do a perimeter search of the cemetery in case General Hammond had left a message for Samantha.

"Please, don't you think Selmak would have noticed if Hammond had left a large blinking neon sign that said 'This way to Jacob Carter'?" Janet said to herself. "No, Hammond probably sat somewhere to watch Jacob. He probably had his art paper with him, and Hammond was drawing. He is rather talented, I hear, though I haven't seen his work."

_**Keep going with that thought,**_ a voice that sounded like Hammond mentally instructed her. **_Run with it. That's why you're on the mission, because you don't think like O'Neill._**

"He probably drew Jacob. Something quick and fast, so we'd be able to recognize it, but abstract enough so that an alien might not realize whom it was that he drew. He probably put a note on it, and then put it someplace where we'd find it, but where?" Janet asked.

The doctor stood up and then, wishing vainly that she was taller, she decided to stand up on the bench so she could see her surroundings better. Pivoting in a three-sixty, Janet Frasier hoped that nobody was looking at the fool standing on the bench.

"If I were instructions, where would I be?" Janet muttered softly. "This place is the cleanest cemetery I've ever seen, but there's... that paper... caught in the fence. By George, I think I found something..."

Jumping off the bench, she ran toward the iron fence. In between the juncture between iron fence and a heavy piece of marble, there was a piece of paper. It looked deliberately placed, and Janet hoped that she was correct. She pulled it out carefully as it was securely wedged.

"This isn't a piece of trash that got blown there. It was intentionally wedged,' she thought. "The paper's heavy too, like art paper."

Carefully she opened the paper and then she let loose a mental scream of excitement when she recognized George Hammond's handwriting. There was even a drawing, where one man was kneeling at a grave and he had placed his hands directly on the name on the headstone. Behind him, stood an identical man who had his hands on the other man's back. But there was something about his eyes that were different... they seemed almost... alien.

_**"I FOUND SOMETHING!"**_

* * *

Samantha Carter looked at the paper and gave a shaky smile. "Hammond drew my father and Selmak, and we've got an address and directions. Most importantly, we have to contact General Nelson and tell him to cancel the APB on my father. General Hammond doesn't want Selmak or my father getting paranoid about being chased."

"Can I see the note?" O'Neill asked.

Behind Carter's back, Frasier shook her head quickly and then O'Neill continued easily, "Never mind. I just wanted to see old Hammond's artwork. But I'm sure it's not that good and if I saw it, I'd have to lie and tell him otherwise. You know how Generals get. He'd want to know what I thought it was, and I'd have to tell him that I don't have any idea. Probably looks like an inkblot.... And I'd have to tell him that. I could try and bluff my way through it, but don't like lying to my CO... especially when I can get caught..."

Carter gave him a smile and nodded her head.

"We'll continue driving then? Did George say how far ahead they were?" Jack asked.

"Three hours," Samantha answered. "There are four of us who can drive, so we can switch on and off. Since it's only the two of them, I'm sure they'll have to take breaks from driving."

"Good thinking, Captain. Now everyone into the van," O'Neill said cheerily. "Then we'll find someplace where we can grab a bite to eat and have a pitstop and then, we're going west."

* * *

Teal'c wearing his beige fishing cap, looked oddly out of place in the brightly lit McDonald's. He was sitting in his garishly colored, plastic chair with a look of a man given a life sentence of Mime-TV without parole.

"I fail to understand the concept of a... Happy Meal," he said to no one in particular.

Daniel began explaining it to him far more explicitly that it warranted, and O'Neill smiled briefly. Then he turned to face Janet Frasier and he motioned for her to draw closer to him so no one could overhear.

"Marty and Carter are ordering, or Carter's ordering and Marty's hindering, so it will take a while. What did the note from Hammond really say?" He tried to hide the concern in his voice, but he failed. "Is there a problem with Jake or...?"

He wiggled his hands to represent a snake.

"Both apparently. Hammond warned Samantha that he thinks that the two of them are becoming paranoid about being chased by the Tok'ra and the military. He also thinks that Jacob hasn't adjusted very well to being...Tok'ra-ized but that Selmak is apparently trying to assist Jake. I don't believe that Hammond completely approves of Selmak's methods, but I might be reading between the lines."

"I wish I could have read the note, there might be something in it that Carter didn't see. She's a little too involved with this," O'Neill said softly.

"I read the note and it was pretty short. 'Don't worry - with Jake. Needing time to adjust. Selmak's helping as am I, tho' methods differing greatly. Hammond.'

"Yeah, that two souls one body crap, we're still working on that idea ourselves," O'Neill said dryly. "I can just imagine what's it's like to live through it, especially someone as old as Jake."

Janet Frasier smiled, "Colonel, don't forget I know how big an age gap there is between you and General Carter. Don't throw stones."

"Oh, that really hurt," O'Neill said in mock protest. "I think I'm _**not**_ going to share my fries with you."

"At your age, you probably shouldn't be eating them," the doctor suggested innocently. "Remind me to check your cholesterol on your next physical."

* * *

Fortunately, George Hammond had managed to convince Jake to stop driving long enough for them to grab something to eat. When he had suggested it, George had been concerned that Jake Carter's desire for flight would overwhelm his common sense. Then Carter nodded.

"Yes, that's a good idea. We've been driving for almost six hours now, and I'm a little hungry. Have to feed the tapeworm you know, else she gets cranky," Jake admitted with a sardonic smile.

"Trust me, if Selmak ain't happy, Carter ain't allowed to be happy."

Jake smiled again, and then he looked at George.

"Selmak's not commenting, so I think she's sleeping. I'm never really sure with her, sometimes, I think she never sleeps," Jake advised his friend. "God knows that I don't anymore."

"Is it due to the blending?" questioned George. "You don't need to sleep anymore?"

Hammond was curious about the answer, as Jacob Carter seemed to becoming more and more worn-down as the day passed on. His eyes were drawn, and his face seemed less expressive.

"No, I think it's due to everything that's happened in the last month. I have horrible insomnia and then when I sleep I have these nightmares," Carter sighed as he downshifted. "We've gone almost five hundred miles... that's pretty damn good for six hours. If it's all right with you, we'll switch after this. Then when we're on I-15 South for a few hours we'll find a hotel."

"What type of nightmares are you having?" Hammond asked in concern.

* * *

For a moment, Jacob was going to tell his closest friend the truth that some of Selmak's memories woke him up screaming in the middle of the night but that would be a violation of Selmak's trust....

"You know that scene in the movie, Alien, where John Hurt is on the table screaming, and the alien pops out of his gut?" Carter said dryly as he turned on his signal light. "Welcome to my life, Hammond."

* * *

"Za Vas!" Carter raised his glass and clinked it against Hammond's shot glass.

He gulped his drink quickly and was rewarded with a generalized wiggling sensation from Selmak running from his brain down to his groin. Not expecting that symbiotic feedback, Jacob nearly spit his drink at Hammond whose finely tuned sense of premonition in reference to one Jacob Carter had caused him to instinctively push his chair out of range.

**_?WHAT IS THAT??_**

Carter coughed for a bit and then he wiped his tearing eyes. His heart was skipping along at warp speed, he had a headache that reached from his toes to his top of his bald spot and he knew his face was almost day glow red.

"Christ, I can't even drink now. It's like being on that antabuse shit, that Disulfiram crap," Carter spat. "Oh my God, George, do you know how much I hate this?"

**_?.... If you had only warned me... I wouldn't have ... reacted like that... you surprised me...I wasn't sure what it was...?_**

The waiter decided to wait a bit before it was safe to approach the scene. The young man looked in concern at the choking general and George waived his hands. "Went down the wrong pipe."

"Should I bring him another?" The waiter said, looking at Hammond and not Jake.

"Hell, yes," roared Jake. "Make it a goddamn double."

George being a man of much wisdom and gentlemanly discretion, besides being smart enough to notice when Jake was in a really foul mood, decided to bite his tongue and not say anything. The drink arrived quickly and Jake thanked the waiter.

**_Sel. Ready or not, it's going down the hatch! LOOK OUT BELOW!_**

One long swallow, and the drink was history. This time, Selmak's resulting squirm wasn't a bolt from the blue and instead Jake found it to be a rather... remarkable.... sensation. Not uncomfortable, not pleasurable...but interesting...

"Makes her wiggle," Jake said with a laugh. Then he snapped his fingers, "Waiter, I'll take another one. Don't worry, he's driving."

One drink later, and Jake Carter was absolutely blitzed. Fortunately, he was a happy, gregarious drunk and George found himself laughing uproariously as they reminisced about old times. By the time they got out of the restaurant, Carter would have failed any sobriety test and George had to buckle him into the 'vette.

"George, I have a question. It's important. Do you think she slipped me a mickey? Because I shouldn't be like this after only four or so drinks over two hours," Jake asked in a slurred voice. "You're gonna make sure that she doesn't take advantage of me in my drunken condition aren't you? I'm too smashed to consent to anything right now."

"Hate to tell you this old friend, I wouldn't know how the hell to stop her," George admitted with a roar. "Better put a bag on your head and do it for Earth."

"That's what I thought," Jake laughed, and then he turned serious. "Sel, you're not gonna do anything that I'm gonna regret tomorrow? Are ya?"

With that, Jake Carter's eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell into a deep sleep.

George Hammond drove until midnight, and as he pulled into a hotel's parking lot, Jacob Carter woke up.

"How long have I been asleep?" Jacob questioned.

"'Bout three hours."

"That's the longest I've slept in a while," Jake sighed as he rubbed his eyes. "And I didn't dream, which was nice."

"Alcohol has that affect on Selmak?" George questioned.

"No, I think she was being playful," Jake admitted with a sardonic smile.

He bowed his head.

"Actually, I thought he needed to sleep. So I regulated his body chemistry and he was affected by the alcohol far more quickly than his norm."

Jacob looked up then, and he spoke softly, "Sel, you're back. I was wondering where you had been. I haven't heard from you in a while. Now, young lady, since you're back, I want you to shake hands with George, and you two have to promise that you'll stop frightening the other one."

Jacob unbuckled his seatbelt and he turned to face George. He started speaking, and his voice held that strangely symbiotic double intonation.

"General. I suggest we humor him, or else we'll be in this blasted car all night, knowing him. I sense that you don't trust me."

George nodded.

"That's fine, General, because I don't trust you. But can we at least agree that we have Jacob's best interests at heart, though our methods may differ?"

"I can agree with that. Shake?"

Symbiote and General shook hands and then Jacob Carter was staring at disgust at Hammond.

"From what I was reading in the Dummies Host's Guide to Tok'ra Symbiotes, Selmak's not supposed to do that to me, but I think because the link between us is so... unstable, she can take over completely at times. Anyway, she turned the lights out on me just now, so I have to assume that you and Selmak at least had a conversation. There's no visible bleeding, no gun shot wounds and no Zat burns so I'm assuming that it went... well?" Jacob asked in real concern.

"Of course, Selmak's a real gentlemen," Hammond assured Carter.

"George, Sel's a lot of things, but a gentleman _**ain't**_ one of them."

* * *

Jacob paid for the hotel rooms, and he gratefully went into his room. Changing out of his suit quickly, he spent several minutes brushing the dirt of it. That accomplished, he broke the seal on the mini bar.

"Chocolate and liquor, Sel. What would you like to experience tonight?" he asked, not expecting an answer.

"You're letting me decide, that's really nice of you. There's a saying on earth. Candy is Dandy, but Liquor is Quicker, Sel. Actually, it's a poem, 'Reflections on Ice-Breaking' by Ogden Nash. Perhaps you might suggest to the Tok'ra that they have chocolate and liquor at their next meet and greet."

Picking a few small bottles completely at random and grabbing anything that was emblazoned with Hershey; Jake Carter happily went to his bed. Perhaps he was being reckless, but Jacob Carter had decided to drink mainly because Selmak seemed physically affected by the alcohol. It would do her a world of good to realize that he had some control over _**HER**_, instead of just the other way around.

So he varied his drinks, harder liquor verses wine, quick shots as well as long, leisurely swallows. The shots didn't seem to affect Selmak as badly as the unhurried sips. That type of slow, deliberate drinking caused Selmak to rub her body against his spinal column as though she had a physical itch. Jacob hadn't been expecting that extraordinary sensation, and his body had quivered uncontrollably when she had first done that.

Selmak had an annoying scratch it seemed, as she was deliberately rubbing against that spot in his spinal column. In time, he began to almost anticipate her movements, instinctively tensing his body and inhaling very slowly when he felt her body begin to shift. His teasing seemed to make Selmak go wild. She would rub herself frenziedly against his vertebrae, and then she paused for a few moments as though to catch her breath and then she'd feverishly attack his spine again.

Thanks to Selmak, he got drunk rapidly and only after the last bottle had been finished, did he finally recognize what the sensation of Selmak wiggling inside of him felt like.

Damn it, it had been a _**really**_ long time for him....

But he should have recognized _**THAT**_ particular sensation....

Though...

**_Oh....dear.... god..._** he hadn't ever really felt it from the _**female's**_ perspective before... and Sel was most assuredly,

most _**repeatedly**_,

most **_vocally_**,

most **_enjoyably_**...

**_really_** wanted to share with him exactly how she was feeling.

_**Orgasmic.**_

"Oh shit," was his last coherent thought for a very long time. "I hope no one ever finds out about this..."

* * *

Carter woke up some hours later, and Selmak was lying next to him. His first thought was one of complete confusion. Why the hell was he in bed wearing his dress blues with one arm around Selmak? Then Jacob realized with a start that Selmak's head was resting on his chest, and she was deliberately unbuttoning his dress shirt.

Apparently, getting shit-faced drunk with your symbiote was a quick and dirty way of aligning your souls and now Selmak was planning on aligning their bodies.

"Sel... what are you doing?" Jacob asked, even though he knew perfectly damn well what was happening. While it had been a long dry spell for him, it hadn't been THAT long. When a woman started unbuttoning your shirt, it usually meant only one of two things and since Selmak wasn't waving a thermometer around..

"Ssshhh..." she said softly. "You're angry with me, and now I'm making up to you. Isn't this how Tau'ri make up?"

Making out not making up, was what he wanted to say, but he didn't want to explain the difference.

So Jacob tried a different track, "Selmak, is there any chance that the alcohol is affecting you?"

Selmak giggled which was a very odd sound coming from her. "I believe that it might be, because I adjusted your body chemistry to help you sleep. What affects you, affects me, and what affect me affects you... so..."

Oh dear God, Selmak was drunk and feeling rambunctiously libidinous.

"You and Annie apologized like this, am I doing something imperfectly?" Selmak questioned as she began unbuckling his belt. "Perhaps you apologized more aggressively with Annie, but I am not comfortable doing that. You apologized to me like this, so I must apologize in a similar fashion."

For a moment, Jacob Carter felt a dagger in his heart.

Selmak had rummaged through his memories while he had been sleeping, and had witnessed at least one of Annie and his spectacular, take no prisoner, no holds barred fights which as a rule ended with the Carters making wild, passionate love in some unusual location. The back of a Chevy at Eglin, with his foot in a cast that had required some imaginative positioning, Samantha's tree house, the dining room table...

Annie had been the only person he had ever trusted enough to unleash his temper. Normally, when Jacob grew angry, he shut that dangerous emotion off, withdrawing back into his emotional shell much like a turtle and becoming little more than an automaton until the anger faded. But Annie, he had trusted her enough to know that she could handle him.

His wife had passionate in everything she did, and his emotional detachment had annoyed her.

_**"Jacob, it's alright to get angry. It's a human emotion; you just can't let it carry you away. You may fool everyone else with that attitude of yours, but I know the real Jacob Carter behind the façade. That behind that aloof exterior of yours is a little boy that won't get angry because he's afraid that he inherited his father's temper and he fears losing control."**_

**_"I know you won't hit me, Jake, and you'll never hit the kids. You're not like your father. I trust you, so please, let it out. If you let it fester inside of you, it will destroy you."_**

He had argued with Selmak and he had been truly angry with her, almost as annoyed as one of those exceptional fights he had with Annie where the two of them had stopped in mid-scream to find someplace to be alone so they could 'apologize'.

Selmak had probably searched his memories looking for a time he had gotten as angry with someone else as he had been with her, and she had seen that aftermath. After all, he had gotten Selmak drunk and.... other things... before he had collapsed in a drunken stupor. Oh dear God, how much losing Annie still hurt. Annie was the only person that had known the real Jacob Carter, warts and all, and she had loved him anyway.

"This is a very special type of apology, Selmak," Jacob said gently. "It's only for very significant disagreements. I can assure you that we haven't argued like that..."

Yet his right hand was stroking her long blonde hair and when Jake closed his eyes, he could smell the familiar scent of roses and honeysuckle.... Without a doubt, he'd lament this decision in the morning, as he was regretting it now but... Dear God, it had been twenty years since Annie died and he was lonely...

Annie had always called him the loneliest man in a crowd, and now he was the most solitary man in the entire fucking universe.

"Yes, we have," Selmak informed him. "You were required to intercede between your brother in arms and myself, and I have not apologized for how I got you to the Chappa'ai. To take full control of you like that is exceptionally wrong. I've had to do that repeatedly, and it is a violation of our bond, Jacob. But I'm trying to help you, but I'm no longer certain that I am..."

_**This was just a dream, a mental betrayal of his vow to his Annie as opposed to a physical.**_

"Sel, I don't think my heart can takes this... I really don't," Jacob confessed.

"I have fixed your heart, Jacob. It is in perfect condition, and I know that for I have listened to it every minutes since we blended," Selmak assured him. "Your heart is strong, and your confidence in me is weak. Let me apologize to you for I have hurt you deeply. I must admit that I find the Tau'ri way of apologizing strange, but I do not understand you, Jacob, though I have tried so hard."

"Understand, Sel... it's been over twenty years for me...since I apologized... like this," Carter admitted softly. "Perhaps, I have forgotten the proper way of apologizing. Please be content with my verbal acceptance of your regret."'

He was really trying not to, but his body was responding. Since he had joined with Selmak his body had acted like a fifteen year old in certain regards, and he cursed the improvements. If he had his old battered body, he wouldn't be responding.

Who was he fooling? The old Jacob would have as her body was warm against his and her touch was exceedingly gentle. That little minx Selmak was focusing exactly on the spots where he liked to be touched, knowingly intimately what he wanted, what he craved and how long to caress him to leave him wanting more... plus she was creating complete and utter chaos with his blood chemistry.

How his blood burned and how much he wanted this... but it was wrong... and .... Oh dear God, Selmak's soft kisses on his face and neck, the feel of her long hair against his skin... the feel of her moving within him. She was unzipping his pants... oh God, this was so wrong... but he was lonely... and just wanted someone... anyone... to touch him... even if she wasn't human...just to reassure himself that he was still capable ... and deserving... of a such a basic human emotion.

_**Close your eyes, Jake, you can almost forget who and what she really is.... This is a dream, nothing more.... A very pleasant, very delightful dream. You're not betraying Annie... **_

"I must apologize to you. Now, just close your eyes, and relax, Jacob. I'll take care of everything..." his symbiote promised.

Kissing her hair softly, Jake Carter then closed his eyes and surrendered to the inevitable.

* * *

Several hours later, Selmak tried to convince an exhausted and sated Jake Carter to sleep. He had one arm around her, and he was stroking her hair mindlessly with his free hand while he tried to make sense of what had happened... _**repeatedly**_... between them. Her limbs were completely entwined with his, a farcical comment on how the two of them were united in real life.

"You are tired, my Tau'ri, why do you not sleep?" Selmak asked in gentle concern.

Whatever the reason during the alignment of souls, Selmak couldn't read his mind, so he could lie to her. It was fortunate, as seeing her resting her head on his chest had given him a chill down his spine. It had only been a simple smile, as though she were inordinately pleased with herself that had made his blood run cold. Was it the alien eyes? The split tongue or the pronounced canines?

"Among my people, it is considered very bad manners for the man to fall asleep immediately," he lied softly. Well, it _**was**_ very bad manners, but it wasn't why he wasn't sleeping. "When you are asleep, only then I will close my eyes and rest. But for now, go to sleep Sel, please."

The blonde woman snuggled close to him, and always, she rested her head on his chest. Selmak then propped her chin on her hands so she could look at him.

"I told you that your heart was strong," she said sleepily. "Good night, my Tau'ri. Have you accepted my sincerest apologies?"

"Yes, a thousand times over and then some, now go to sleep," Jake whispered.

"You're pleased with me," Selmak stated in a very tired voice.

Again Selmak wore that chilling smile, like a cat caught with canary feathers in its mouth.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he questioned.

"For the first time... since we blended, I feel that you are... pleased with me..." Selmak's breathing was slowing and she yawned deeply. "You were confused and ... angry... because of me... and...I gave you happiness..."

Well, that was factual; Jake had to admit, because even being an Academy graduate hadn't prepared him for Selmak's exceeding thorough apology. Under that innocent face lurked a very, very sophisticated snake.

Yet Jake was dismayed that Selmak was blaming herself for his previous unhappiness.

"Don't say that; I wasn't angry with you," Jacob protested softly. "How could I be angry with you?"

"You... were," Selmak mumbled as she yawned.

Jacob continued to stroke her hair and he tried to whisper some sort of pillow talk to her, how wonderful she was, how much he had enjoyed what they had done and how she was never to think that he was angry with her. Selmak fell asleep with a delighted smile on her face, truly believing that she had made amends and that everything would be absolutely, positively wonderful between the two of them tomorrow.

Jake continued whispering soft, inane words over and over again to the sleeping Selmak as he realized how badly he fucked everything up again. During the long sleepless hours that followed, Jake stared at the ceiling, wondering about the man he once was, and whatever the hell he was becoming.

_**Annie, I don't think you'd recognize me now, and I don't think you'd want to, either.**_

* * *

The next morning, Jacob Carter woke in his hotel room and he queried mentally for Selmak. She didn't answer, and so he tried not to think about the ramifications about what had occurred between them last night.

Naturally, it didn't work.

After mentally flagellated himself repeatedly for betraying Annie and taking advantage of Selmak's sincerity, he tried to scour the taint from his soul with a long, hot shower.

_**I wonder what goddamn Tok'ra decrees I shattered last night? Least half a fucking dozen, I'd say. Too bad, Garshaw isn't here, because I could use one of her disapproving looks and her long sermons about Tok'ra morality.**_

Then after showering and changing without one of Selmak's ribald comments, he sat down on the couch.

**_Sel? You there? I know you're there. You're just not answering me._**

**_?I am always here, Jacob.?_**

Her mental tone seemed down, and he wondered why.

**_?I have upset you with my actions of last night as I failed to comprehend what I witnessed between you and your mate. For that... I am profoundly remorseful. You wished to stop, and I failed to do so.?_**

**_It's not your fault, Sel. I drank the booze, which affected you. I have to limit what I drink, that's all. Let's just not do it again, please._**

No answer but he knew that Selmak was weeping.

**_Come on, Sel. It's my fault, not yours. Please don't cry. Come on, Sel, I've never had much practice with these morning-after-speeches, and certainly not with a lady of your caliber._**

**_Please understand something, I enjoyed it very much, and I will always treasure the memories, but I'm rather old and set in my ways... Annie was my partner, my mate, if you will, and when she died, I vowed that I'd never love again._**

**_Do you understand that? You Tok'ra are freer with your lovers. This doesn't mean that if you want to partner with someone that I'll protest. I won't... my body is yours, Sel, but I..._**

**_?I have taken no lovers since my mate Norak died, and I will doubt that I will ever again.?_**

**_Norak. You haven't mention him... her...it..._**

**_?You have your own griefs, and I have my own. Let it be, Jacob. I will not add more grief to your soul by sharing my memories of the long dead with you. ?_**

Yet Selmak had let him talk about Anne, could he not do the same for her? The reason why he was on Earth rather than one of those Tok'ra blasted tunnels was because Selmak had shared his grief enough to know why he needed to come home.

She needed a sounding board, as probably being the oldest and wisest Tok'ra was much like being a father. You mourned your losses behind thick walls and licked your wounds in private, where no one could ever see, because you had to be strong for the children.

**_He was sarcastic, wasn't he? Dark hair, a real pain in the ass, mouthy guy. Kinda like me? Did he give you and Jana....those flowers with the foot long thorns because he thought you were prickly?_**

**_?That was his host... Jeralt...?_**

There was a flash in his mind; a memory that he knew wasn't his.

**_You always liked Jeralt. You called him Jerry. Your pet name for him annoyed Norak and Jana because they bitched about you liking him best because you didn't give them nicknames. Am I right?_**

**_?I loved them all equally, though Jerry made me laugh as I had forgotten how. He was irreverent and he always pissed off Garshaw. He was much like Lantesh.?_**

**_One day, Sel, when we're doing better, I want you to tell me about your previous hosts. I want to know about the serene Saroosh, the whimsical Norak and Jeralt who infuriated you even as they made you laugh and your other hosts Mara, Taryn, Nadie, Kaydia and Soran._**

**_Most importantly, tell me about Jana, your host that you loved and whose death at the hands of Ra wounded your soul so badly that you are afraid to travel the Chappa'ai alone. I know now that the face I see as Selmak's is actually hers. Though Jana smiled so much more frequently than my sorrowing Selmak does._**

**_Saroosh wouldn't have wanted that, you know. She said that you made her laugh and that you two talked for hours. She said you were a wonderful conversationalist. But I rarely hear you laugh, Selmak._**

**_And why doesn't my grieving Selmak ever smile?_**

Complete silence.

He could feel how staggered Selmak was that he knew the names of her previous hosts.

All of them.

_**?You know all this?????? I mentioned none of this to you!?**_

_**I don't know how, but I do. I think we're more similar than we're not, and I think... I am becoming frightened Selmak, that I am changing into something I won't recognize...**_

_**But I have one question, is the reason why Selmak no longer smiles due to me?**_

Silence. Yet he could feel that Selmak was almost physically shaking.

**_Is it due to your problematical host? Why don't you laugh anymore, Selmak?_**

Complete silence. Then she began assuring him that it wasn't his fault. Selmak sounded so much like Annie that it physically hurt. How many time had Annie lied and told him...'It's not your fault that Mark's upset with you. It's mine, Jake.'

**_?It's not your fault, my Tau'ri. It's mine, Jake.?_**

**_Oh my God, Sel. I'm sorry, I truly, truly am..._**

Quickly, Carter broke their mental connection, and he struggled to regain his composure.

What was he turning into? And what was he going to lose in the process?

And why, dear God above, did he have to hurt the grieving Selmak in the process? Hadn't she been through enough? How much pain could an individual carry before going mad?

* * *

"It's a good day for a drive," George commented to Jacob softly. The two men were putting the top down, and then George put his hat on securely but only after winking at Jake. "Some of us don't have little friends that prevent them from getting sunburn."

For that quip, George was rewarded with a noncommittal nod of Jake's head. His friend had seemed different this morning, eating breakfast quickly and being almost monosyllabic. Those wraparound shades didn't help, as they just made Jacob seem more and more unapproachable and increasingly alien.

Hammond recognized that he was losing his closest friend to the Tok'ra, and it hurt him deeply.

Jacob opened the driver's side door, and then he flashed George that shit-eating Jacob Carter trademarked gonna try and make you throw up your cookies by doing a double barrel roll in a Phantom smile. Carter was ten-times the pilot he was, and nobody had ever wanted to fly with him because he always scared the shit outta the other pilots, except for a redheaded kid from Texas who had something to prove.

The two of them had been the terrors of the deep blue skies over Eglin Air Base.

"Better put your seat belt on, I'm planning on speeding until we get to Big Sur. I think we can get there by this afternoon, and we'll go someplace nice for dinner. My treat," Jake insisted.

Hammond laughed.

Maybe the Tok'ra weren't gonna completely convert Jake Carter.

And it would probably do them a hell of a lot of good to have that pain in the ass on their council.

Jake turned on the radio, and he then pulled out of the hotel parking lot on two wheels. The sound seemed wildly appropriate to Hammond and he found himself singing along softly.

_**I woke up in a Soho doorway**_

_**A policeman knew my name**_

_**He said, "You can go sleep at home tonight**_

_**If you can get up and walk away"**_

_**I staggered back to the underground**_

_**And the breeze blew back my hair**_

_**I remember throwin' punches around**_

_**And preachin' from my chair**_

_**Well, who are you?**_

_**(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)**_

_**I really wanna know **_

_**(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)**_

_**Tell me, who are you?**_

_**(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)**_

_**'Cause I really wanna know **_

_**(Who are you? Who, who, who, who?)**_

_**Who are you? The Who**_


	4. Never Going Back Again

**_Never Going Back Again_**

**_(Lindsey Buckingham)_**

**_Story:_** The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General **_Part IV:_** Never Going Back Again 

_**Synopsis: **_

Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

When we last left our symbiote and her host, their relationship had taken a rather unexpected turn. George Hammond is now growing more and more concerned about what will happen when Samantha Carter meets her father.

**_Rating: PG-13 – _**Jake and Sel really shouldn't swear so much!

**_Notes: ? Bold Italics ? _**is Selmak talking only to Jacob.

* * *

****

"On the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again," O'Neill sang hopelessly off-key.

"Must you?" Daniel Jackson asked in real annoyance, as O'Neill was singing in his ear.

"Yes, it's part of the tradition, Daniel. I'm sure Teal'c and Marty understand that there are rituals involved with this type of road trip, and that sing-a-longs are part of the great tradition. Other traditions include playing punch buggy, license plates bingo and the traditional 'are we there yet' whine."

"Are we there yet?" The normally unflappable, highly composed Janet Frasier asked Samantha Carter with something close to a real honest-to-god whine in her voice. She wouldn't be proud to admit this, but a twelve-hour car ride with Jack O'Neill had brought her closer to the edge than Cassandra's last slumber party with nine of her closest friends. "I think I might have to kill him before we get there. Sing-a-longs?"

"My father never did sing-a-longs in car," Samantha confessed to Janet Frasier with a wry laugh. "I don't even know if he can sing."

"Not even the Air Force Hymn?" Frasier asked with a grin. "It must be tattooed on his chest somewhere. He was in for almost forty years, so I'm sure that it's not tattooed there, it's probably embroidered on his boxers."

O'Neill gave Jackson a friendly tap on his shoulder and then Jack turned around to face Janet.

"Actually, let's do the Air Force Theme instead as it's easier to sing. Teal'c, Martouf, let's try that next, though I'm partial to the second verse," O'Neill said cheerily as Teal'c raised one expressive eyebrow at him.

"Off we go into the wild blue yonder..." O'Neill stopped and gave his unhappy campers a mock glare. "Come on, I'm sure everyone knows the lyrics... except for you, Marty, so let's try it again..."

Samantha Carter had to laugh, and O'Neill gave Jackson a quick wink at that sound. Jackson gave him an answering grin, as they both were worried about Sam. Since her father had disappeared for parts unknown, Sam had been withdrawing into herself.

"I knew the Air Force Song would make her laugh," he muttered. "Ok – everyone, here we go...Off we go... into the wild blue younger...."

* * *

_**If you'd live to be a gray haired wonder,  
Keep your nose out of the blue!  
Flying men guarding our nation's borders,  
We'll be there followed by more,  
In echelon we carry on!  
Nothing'll stop the US Air Force!**_

Her host was mentally singing, and he had a fairly decent voice.

Thankfully as Saroosh couldn't have carried a tune if she tried.

**_Sel. If you don't start talking to me, I'm going to have to sing The Modern Major General Song at you, and that is cruel and unusual punishment. I've already done most of the Air Forces songs I know including the off-color ones._**

Selmak ignored that threat, and continued to listen to his heartbeat. It was a very comforting sound, and she let it enfold her consciousness. There was much work to contemplate if she was to successfully separate Jacob from her.

Jacob was afraid of losing himself, and she didn't want him as a fearful, unhappy host. It would be far better if she separated them. It was time to see if it were possible.

_**OK – I warned you, I know the entire libretto to this opera in four different languages and you might hear all of it if you don't say something, Selmak.**_

_**I am the very model of a modern Major-General,**_

_**I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,**_

_**I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical**_

_**From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical...**_

* * *

Jacob Carter unexpectedly gulped, and he put on the signal light. Fortunately, he was able to pull into the breakdown lane quickly and he stopped the car. He ran to the grassy overpass, and found a sturdy tree before he lost his lunch. A dizzy and sweating Jacob Carter held onto the tree for dear life while he threw up.

_**Ok, no more Gilbert and Sullivan, I swear. Just don't do that ever again, please. What the hell just happened, Selmak?**_

No fucking answer.

What a surprise.

Selmak had pretty much tuned him out since they had their morning-after discussion.

Least she wasn't throwing anything at him or cursing him out, Anne had done that to him on rare occasion, but that usually had led to a rather intimate apology. Selmak might be furious with him, but she was ignoring him.

It was the lady-like thing to do. Selmak was the quintessential lady and he dared _**anyone**_ to say differently in front of him.

"Ok, George, I'm back," he said with a dry laugh after he took a long swig from his water bottle. "George, I think you better drive for a bit. Selmak's just wiggled and jiggled inside of me, and I'm not feeling too hot at the moment."

"Your color is off, Jake. You feeling alright?" George asked. "You're whiter than a ghost."

"Selmak must be making a major repair or something, because she moved weird just before I got sick. No, before you ask, I can't ask her what's she doing, I don't like interrupting her when she's got her body wrapped around my heart. You know, that one false move and I'm dead thing really gets me nervous," Jacob admitted in a dry tone.

* * *

Always trying to put a positive spin on everything even when you're scared to death, Jake. Hammond thought in mild consternation. Instead of commenting on the obvious, George informed him, "We're almost there, Jake. Just another hour or so, and you can relax."

"Thank God," Jake Carter said in honest appreciation. "I just wonder what the hell the Tok'ra are doing. That's why I couldn't leave a message for Sammy, I mean it's bad enough that you're involved, I just couldn't get her mixed up with this also."

George Hammond nodded his head, and wondered again about the constant interference on his satellite phone. It was almost bizarre, as his phone seemed to be possessed by the Evil Spirits of Static and Bad Connections. Samantha Carter had called him no less than a dozen times, and he couldn't ever get a connection to answer her.

She was enroute with all of SG-1 and Martouf in tow, and she hoped to be in California by tomorrow.

_**I didn't want all of SG-1. I wanted you and Frasier. O'Neill doesn't like the Tok'ra, you can't really blame him after his.... Well... our experiences with the Goa'uld. Jackson will talk Jake's ear off and I'm not sure exactly what the dynamics of Teal'c and Selmak in the same room will be like, especially when Selmak and Jake realized that I'm one that blabbed. Plus, Selmak's not going to be happy with Martouf and Lantesh arriving; I can feel it in my bones.**_

Jake Carter was asleep again, and Hammond shook his head. It was almost unnatural how quickly Jake was falling asleep these past few days.

_**Hello God, I'm sure you realize that it's George Hammond again.**_

_**Please give me the strength to keep Jake Carter sane during all this. He's a good man, as you no doubt know, but he's wary of letting anyone get too close emotionally. That's no surprise after having an alcoholic for a mother and a father that disappeared when he was five.**_

_**For some reason, he trusts me. Over the years, he has confided in me and has even told me how much he admires the easy relationships I have with my kids. Please, don't let me have destroyed that trust by his daughter showing up. I hope that I've doing the right thing but I feel that Samantha Carter needs to be here for her father.**_

_**I'm just very, very uncertain right now.**_

_**Jake yells, he growls, he's a generally curmudgeonly pain in my ass, but he never really gets angry. It's a show, that attitude of his, a way of keeping people at an arm's distance.**_

_**But I have seen him lose it.**_

_**Jake admitted to me once that Anne was the only one that could get him rebalanced when he loses his cool. I saw it happened only once when Mark pushed him too far after the funeral, but it was the scariest thing I have ever seen in my life as he hides a great deal of pain behind those walls of his.**_

_**His son told him that he wished that his father were dead, instead of his mother. Mark said that in front of everyone, and Jake told him in a very quiet voice, that everyone at the house, including Jacob Carter, wished that Jacob were lying in that casket, instead of Anne. Then he turned around and faced everyone, telling them to all raise their hands if they agreed just to assure his son of that fact, because they all were thinking it.**_

_**It took me two hours to calm him down.**_

_**Two hours where a mute Jacob Carter just stared at the trees in his backyard and didn't say a damn thing while I tried to get him to talk to me.**_

_**Dear God, Jake's walking a tightrope, balancing for all he's worth. He thinks he's losing his mind. He won't admit it, but I can almost taste his terror. The way he acted at the flower shop just confirmed it in spades.**_

_**O'Neill's a good guy, he pretends to be dumber than he is, but he's mouthy.**_

_**A real smart ass. Goddamn it, there are times when I have to sternly warn myself not to smile at Jack's quips as they remind me so strongly of Jacob's witticisms. I would have bet my last dollar that that they'd hit it off, but not now, not with Jacob's passenger. Selmak's increasingly paranoid and Jake's more and more obsessively mistrustful of everyone and everything by the minute. Jack's smartass comments are going to get under Jake's skin, and rattle him to no end. He'll get nasty, and Jack will give it back, word for word.**_

_**The three of them are just going to set each other off, and I don't know what I can do.**_

_**Somehow, I fear that this meltdown is going to top that one in spades and Annie Carter isn't around to help. And I'm having serious doubts about how much good Selmak will be in that situation.**_

_**I know that Selmak's not very stable... and as much as it pains me to admit it, I have to accept the fact that my old friend Jacob isn't mentally steady.**_

That prayer for guidance brought back old memories. He was entering a hospital room with a box of chocolates and a pack of cigarettes. A blonde woman looked up from where she was sitting next to an empty hospital bed. Her warm smile reminded him of Samantha Carter.

"George Hammond, I'm so happy to see you. Your eye looks a lot better, thank God. Don't worry; they just took Jake to the Operating Room. They need to work on that ankle of his again. It doesn't look like he'll ever get to be an astronaut as they may have to pin it."

"He'll be disappointed," George admitted as he handed her the chocolate. He'd sneak the cigarettes to Jake later, when his wife wasn't around.

"I won't be, as I prefer my husband on the ground. Now, I understand that you're new to Eglin?" Anne Carter asked.

"Yes, still getting unpacked. My wife thinks I broke my ribs just to get out of helping her." Hammond tried not to laugh, but he failed. He winced as his ribs still hurt.

"George, you're not supposed to tell jokes with cracked ribs. It's in the Air Force Officer's Wife's Manual. You have kids, I understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Anne, I refuse to answer to ma'am. Look, I'll get a few of my fellow Air Force Wives and come over to help your wife. That way she can meet a few people, I know it's rough your first few weeks here, as you don't know anyone. And when Jake's home, I want to invite you and your family over for dinner."

George smiled. "Thank you, that's awfully nice of you. We don't really know too many people yet as we were in Cheyenne last."

"I would do anything to help out one of Jake's friends," Anne said with a smile. "You just let me know what I can do, and I will. Call any time, and I mean that."

"You must be busy answering the phone a lot, Jake's got a lot of friends," George said in a slightly uncertain tone.

"No, my husband has flying buddies, not friends. There's a difference, trust me."

It was only several years later that he realized what she had meant by the distinction.

* * *

"Wake up, Carter. We're a few minutes away," George called loudly. "Take a look at that coast line, isn't it amazing?"

His sleeping passenger woke up quickly, and then Carter whistled in admiration as he saw the view. It was almost mind-boggling, the contrast between the mountainous terrain, the sandy beaches and the Pacific Ocean.

"My God, George. Is that where we're staying? Who the hell did you get the house from?" Jake asked.

"An old friend. You know the useful thing about being in the military for as long as you and I have been, is that you meet a lot of people. The question is, can you remember the really useful people after a while," George laughed.

"Remind me to send you a thank you note," Jake said with the first real smile George had seen on his friend's face in days. "I can feel it, this vacation break is gonna keep me sane, George. It really is."

* * *

"There are seven bedrooms, most of them with a view of the beach, six bathrooms, a Jacuzzi and a hot tub by the pool," George explained as the two men walked into the front door. "Plus a few assorted libraries, a room with a pool table and the dining room. Where do you want to stay?"

Jake looked at the chandelier in mock horror, "I'm just so outta my league here, Hammond."

"So am I, I'm just a hick from the sticks who wanted to fly," the Texan drawled. "Let's stake the claims on our rooms and then we can look around. Then I want to talk to you about a few things."

"You got that serious look in your eyes, Hammond." Jake's tone was joking, but Hammond knew him well enough to know that Jake Carter's defenses were up.

"I know," Hammond said seriously as he made a placating gesture with his hands. "We do need to talk, Jake. You and I both know that."

"Let's do it now, then," Jacob decided rather arbitrarily. "Might as well get it over with. What's percolating in that head of yours, George? I can tell you're stewing on something."

Carter sat down on a couch, and kicked his shoes off. With a contented sigh, he put his feet up on the couch, and stretched. Hammond noticed without saying anything that Carter was still wearing the damn sunglasses. Lately, he never took them off as though he was afraid that his eyes might flash when his symbiote took over... or else, he was trying to hide his eyes from Hammond.

Jake could and would lie with a straight face, but George could tell volumes about Jake Carter's emotional status by a simple look in his dark eyes. But he had caught a quick glimpse of Jacob's eyes when he had taken off his sunglasses to rub his eyes.

Right now, Jake Carter was terrified.

Hammond hadn't ever seen that amount of fear in Jake's eyes before, even when Jake informed him that he was dying because the cancer had hit his liver and spread like wildfire.

"Jake, I think you need to contact your daughter," George informed his friend bluntly. "She's due back shortly, Jake. If the Tok'ra are raising Cain, you know that she'll be worried."

"And if she doesn't know where I am, then Garshaw and the rest can't do anything to her," Jake retorted. "They'll blame her, George, but Samantha doesn't know anything. Right, Sel? You agree that I shouldn't get my kid involved with this, right? You know the Tok'ra better than anyone else, it's better this way, isn't it?"

Selmak agreed in that symbiote burr that always sent chills down Hammond's back.

"Two to one, majority wins," Carter said with a slight smile. "Now where do you want to go to dinner, George?"

* * *

"Carter, any word from Hammond?" O'Neill asked his second.

The blonde shook her head. "No, nothing at all."

"Odd," O'Neill said softly. "He's probably having problems with his phone. Or maybe you're having problems. Carter, do you want to continue on today, or do you want to take a break?"

Samantha Carter looked at her friends. They had been traveling almost non-stop since the discovery of Jacob's 'symbiote-napping' and they were all tired. Even O'Neill's mouth was exhausted, as he hadn't come close to concluding his threatened "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" song though perhaps Teal's simple comment of 'Enough, O'Neill' had caused the Colonel to shut up around verse fifty seven or so...

They were all exhausted with the noticeable exception of Teal'c, who looked ready to fight an army of Jaffas by himself, especially if they were singing 99 Bottles of Jaffa Beer on the Wall.

"It's up to you, Colonel," Samantha said in a quiet voice. She didn't want to stop, in fact, she had this insane desire to push everyone back onto the van at the point of a gun, and force him or her to continue onwards. But she couldn't do that.

"Ok, everyone, I know we're in the military, and this is going to see like an odd way to make the decision, but we're going to take a vote. We're about four hours away from where Carter Senior is. We've also been on the road since four this morning, and I know we're getting tired. Majority wins," O'Neill then explained that concept to Martouf. "Carter?"

"I can't vote, because it's got to be the team's decision, not mine," Samantha decided, even as she wondered how she managed to be adult enough to say that. "We're all tired, and if you want to rest, let's do it."

"Go on," said Janet Frasier who looked exhausted.

"Continue," Martouf and then Lantesh echoed the sentiment.

For a moment, O'Neill looked like he was going to gripe about the double vote but then he shut up. He was too tired to fight that battle, plus they had voted the way he wanted.

"It is only four more hours, I say continue," Teal'c decided firmly.

"Let's carry on," Daniel Jackson said quietly. He looked worn out as he had been doing most of the driving, but he gave Samantha a wan smile. "How could we not? Sam, it's your father, we are all worried about him."

O'Neill nodded his head, and gave Samantha a boyish grin. "Carter, did you really think we were going to stop now?"

Samantha smiled, and then she knew her eyes were suspiciously watery. So she just nodded her head in appreciation and muttered a thank you to her friends.

* * *

After neatly unpacking and then hanging everything up in a such a way that anyone who walked into his room would know that he was an ex-military officer, Jake changed into a pair of sweats and his favorite battered t-shirt.

_**Sel? Let's go for a walk on the beach, shall we? We can talk and I'd like that. You've been awfully quiet today.**_

No answer, but he could sense mentally that Selmak's mental "ears" had perked up when he used her name. She was listening, but leery.

_**Selmak, it's going to be a long two hundred years for us if you don't talk to me. I'm not angry with you, Sel. In fact, I'm rather fond of you.**_

Carter paused, surprised that he was actually telling the truth with that simple statement. He was becoming fond of her, in a rather exasperating fashion. But Jacob Carter wasn't getting warm and fuzzy in his old age, so he could still get good and mad at her.

_**Fine. No answer. That's ok, Selmak. I'll just think for a bit and when you feel like interrupting me, go ahead.**_

* * *

Selmak snuggled closer to her host's heart. Jacob Carter was talking and she listed contentedly. They had walked the sandy beach for hours, and the walk had calmed both of their agitations down considerably. His body temperature was several degrees warmer than was Saroosh's norm also, and Selmak enjoyed the temperate difference. For the last two hundred years, she had been a little bit on the chilly side, and she couldn't say anything to Saroosh about that without making it sound like a dreadful insult.

Now what to do with her Jacob?

Her Tau'ri was extremely miserable being her host because everything she did exasperated the rapidly deteriorating situation. The roses, the apology, getting him drunk... By Egeria herself, if the Council knew that she was forcibly taking complete control of Jacob at times, she'd be banished or even worse.

Perhaps she was too old to adjust to a new host, as she was one of Egeria's first spawn.

Maybe the problems had been due to the radiation and chemotherapy her host had endured prior to their blending, or... perhaps it was because death had touched both of them before they had merged. Saroosh had been dying by degrees over the last month they had been blended, and Selmak had almost looked forward to the end of her life's journey. She had hoped that she would meet her loved ones again...

How she missed Norak. Jeralt. Jana. Taryn.... And her first host, Soran, who had been such a delight.

Ah, the damage the two of them had done to Ra...

While Saroosh had lingered, trying so valiantly to hold onto life until they found a host for Selmak, Selmak had been quite content to dream about her past glories before her self-confidence was shattered by Jana's death. Oh, she had been such a brave and daring Tok'ra... who now was afraid to leave the tunnels and whose heart lurched at the sound of the Chappa'ai.

The end was coming, and she had been so tired, so very, very exhausted.

Then, as though the Council itself had conjured him, an alien life form, a Tau'ri, a child of the first planet had shown up to be her host ruining her perfect plans for a flawlessly fabulous death. The rumors had spread like wildfire among the Tok'ra. What a suitable host for The Eldest; a child of the first planet, where Egeria and her host had once walked and had helped lead the rebellion against Ra.

Truly, Selmak believed that Garshaw was directly responsible for producing Jacob. Perhaps she had him hidden in her pocket... or perhaps... it had been fate that the dying Tau'ri had agreed to blend with her.

It had been peculiar the way the two of them had blended, for to heal Jacob she had gone deeper into his physical makeup then was the norm for a developing blending. He had been full of the cancer, the tumors eating away at him, and she had nearly wept when she saw the physical damage the Tau'ri cure had inflicted on him. There had been so many raw radiation burns and scars in her host that she feared for his survival even after the blending. And so, Selmak had recklessly healed him by the fasted method possible, by fusing herself with him.

Selmak, or parts of her, were in his heart, his brain and most of his vital organs.

Unfortunately, she didn't have the faintest idea on how to disconnect the two of them without hurting one or the other in their union.

Separating from her Tau'ri would kill her, and Selmak smiled deep within her host when she realized what her only decision was. It was the only morally correct resolution to make and Egeria would be proud. Now, having deliberated thoroughly and having made her choice, Selmak was content. It would be enough that her memories would remain with Jacob, and her loved ones would live on for a while longer.

It was now time for Selmak to fall upon her sword.

It was an honorable decision among the Tok'ra, the highly toted "Choice of Amarte", in which the symbiote gave up their life for their host.

Her happiness was so palpable to her host that he paused unexpectedly in mid-sentence to ask her why her mood had lightened.

**_Sel? Why are you so unbelievably cheerful right now? If I didn't know better, I'd swear that you've got an ear-to-ear grin on that little snake face of yours._**

Naturally she didn't tell him, instead she just cuddled closer to his heart, content to listen to it beat.

Jacob would live, and he would return home to his daughter. He'd probably furious with her for breaking the bond, but in time, he would accept the freedom that her death had given him.

In fact, he might even plant roses for her.

It would be a fitting memorial.

* * *

The easel was ready, his paints were prepared and George Hammond was carefully planning his next artistic masterpiece. Perhaps a picture of Jacob walking on the beach would be a good idea. Carter had been out there for several hours, and George had appreciated the breather. He had managed to get a connection on his satellite phone and he had left a message for Samantha Carter that she was not to show up at the house.

Taking his paintbrush, he carefully dabbed it in the color that matched the eastern most part of the sky. Such an odd shade of blue, he thought as he began to paint.

Painting was his one secret passion. Hammond still flew whenever he could because he would never get enough of that, but he enjoyed painting. He had first picked up the brush after his wife had died and he had found himself in an all too empty house. It was easy to lose himself in it, trying to place the colors he saw in his mind onto the empty whiteness of his canvas.

Therefore, it wasn't surprising that he lost track of time.

What was surprising was when Jake was walking back into the house, someone knocked on the front door.

* * *

"Apparently Air Force two star Generals make a lot more money that I thought," O'Neill said in his typical O'Neill fashion. "One's got a classic 'vette and this is the other one's vacation home. What am I doing wrong in my career, I ask you?"

"Perhaps if you asked General Hammond, he would be willing to mentor you," Teal'c stated quietly. "Much like Master Bra'tac did for me."

"It's the mouth," Jackson said shortly. "He won't make General until he learns to keep it shut."

O'Neill pivoted on his toes and gave Daniel a look of mock horror, hurt by his friend's betrayal.

"Thank God, could you _**imagine**_ him in _**charge**_ of Cheyenne Mountain?" Janet Frasier said dryly.

Jack turned to face her and then he got another knife in the back when Daniel snickered loudly.

"Ah, perhaps if he worked on it," Martouf offered quickly.

"Thanks, Marty." O'Neill growled as he stalked toward the door. Everyone was picking on him today for some reason.

To his annoyance, Martouf also seemed to enjoy being called Marty. No more puzzled looks and comments about his name was actually Martouf. He actually smiled whenever O'Neill called him that. If O'Neill didn't know better, he would swear that Carter Senior had advised Martouf to smile brightly just to irk him.

Sam was far too busy pulling herself together to witness the men bonding, and Janet Frasier gave her an encouraging smile.

"Go ahead, knock," Janet suggested. "I'm sure your dad is going to be thrilled to see you."

"Did someone just knock?" Jacob asked. "I'm not sure, they didn't knock very loud."

* * *

George Hammond's heart sank, as it had been a very timid knock.

_**No. Please God, no. Let it not be who I think it is, twelve hours early.**_

"Let me check," Hammond offered, even as someone banged harder on the door.

_**Not O'Neill. Please. But that knock sounded like him, and I can almost hear him saying, "Now, Carter, that's how you knock on a door."**_

"No, you've got your paints set up, so I'll get it," Jacob decided quickly.

Carter was in a very good mood, as he even whistled a smidgen of his favorite aria from Madama Butterfly as he went to the door. Hammond recklessly threw down his paintbrushes and tried to get to the entrance first. Jake still managed to beat him, and he opened the door.

To George's complete horror, Samantha Carter was standing in the doorway. Behind her stood George Hammond's worse nightmare come true. O'Neill, Jackson, Teal'c and Martouf.

"Dad!" She said excitedly and then Jacob's daughter reached out to hug him.

Jake Carter stepped back from his daughter, blatantly refusing to hug her and George sighed mentally when he saw the look of pain on Samantha's face. She looked as though Jake had slapped her hard across the face.

"George?" Jacob asked in all too quiet voice as he turned to face George. For good measure, he even pointed at his daughter as though George couldn't see her. "What is Sammy doing here?"

"Don't mind if we come in," O'Neill stated loudly as he deliberately put one foot over the threshold. "We'll let ourselves in."

Carter Senior turned to face O'Neill and he put his hand out to bar the newest arrivals from entering.

"You're not coming in," Jacob informed him. "I don't want you here. So disappear. Samantha, you and friends have to leave now. Have a nice trip back to Colorado. Goodbye."

Samantha Carter was too stunned to say anything. All the way to California she had been promising herself that she would hug her father tightly when she saw him and that she would never let him go. Yet now, Jacob was telling her to leave.

"Nope, not leaving," O'Neill informed Carter.

"No one invited you, so go back to Colorado," Carter Senior said in a very calm voice. "It would be different if George or I had invited you, but we didn't."

"Hammond did," inserted Jackson, who then looked at O'Neill, who a look on his face that Jackson knew all too well. Daniel's stomach dropped to his toes, as he knew there was a major problem. "He did, didn't he? Jack, did you lie? You told Teal'c and me that Hammond didn't want Sam to come alone."

That question was never answered as Jacob Carter turned to face George Hammond.

"George? Did you ask them to bring their suits and get some sun? Did you?" Jacob questioned intently. "You planned this, didn't you? You kept questioning about why I didn't tell Sam where I was, and I _**told**_ you that I didn't want her involved. And you went ahead, _**and you did it anyway. I told you the Tok'ra would blame her, and I didn't want her involved!**_"

"It's too late, Jacob," O'Neill inserted. "Cheyenne Mountain was full of them, and they're all claiming that you abducted your snake and fled. If you didn't want your daughter involved, it didn't work because those damn snake heads were gonna come after you."

Jacob Carter's head turned quickly in O'Neill's direction, even as Hammond's heart sank. It was going to get very ugly, very quickly.

"Don't call them that," Jacob insisted. "They are not snakes, they are Tok'ra. Tok'ra. Tok'ra. Say it Jack, it isn't that hard. Tok'ra."

"You say to-may-to, I say toe-mot-o," O'Neill glossed over the pronunciation discrepancies easily with a wave of his hand. "How ever you pronounce it, they came through the Gate looking for your head. We defended you, and told them that the old lady brought you through the Gate because there's no way you can override one of those..."

"The name of my symbiote is Selmak, O'Neill. Please use it," Carter Senior said in a quiet voice. "Do not call Selmak a snake, and do not call the council, them. They deserve more respect from you. They have been fighting the Goa'uld for over two millennia, and they deserve respect."

"Jacob, I can say whatever I want to her and how ever I want to. Selmak's done nothing to win any fans among your family and friends." Jack stressed Selmak's name strongly. "Your daughter was concerned, and so she came. Since she's on my team, like hell I was going to let her face Selmak by herself."

"What's your problem with Selmak?" Carter questioned. "I would think that you'd respect Selmak as ..he's... been up to his neck fighting the Goa'uld and rather successfully so, even before your great grandfather looked at your great grandmother."

George Hammond was in the background and he was shaking his head in disapproval. Jacob Carter was beyond furious, and Jack O'Neill was about to flow gasoline on the fire. And Jacob had deliberately paused and then called Selmak, him, instead of his usual jocular comments about Selmak being female... Jake's back was to the wall and he was paranoid that everyone thought he was losing it mentally. .

"What's your problem, O'Neill? You barge in on my vacation..." Jacob inquired.

"Vacation?" O'Neill asked. "Jacob, she **_kidnapped_** you..."

What Jake Carter said next wasn't in English. It was guttural and it was hissing, and it was most assuredly his voice that was speaking it, not the snake in his head. He then turned to face George Hammond and he just pointed his index finger at Hammond. His hand was shaking and his eyes were dead.

"I trusted you, like no one else in this world... this universe, George....When my wife died, you were there...and...Oh God, she's screaming in my head right now that you betrayed me...Dear God, Sel, stop screaming... I can't... think....please... Sel... stop it..."

Jacob Carter put both hands on his head in a futile attempt to prevent it from exploding. On his left hand, he was wearing the ribbon device, and Hammond inhaled sharply. Martouf pushed O'Neill aside, and stood recklessly in front of Jacob.

"Selmak, it is I, Lantesh. Let me assist you and your host," Lantesh spoke in a soft, supportive tone. "Let me please, Eldest, I am but a child, but I wish to help. Let me take you home where your people can help you."

"Jacob's not going anywhere, Marty," O'Neill insisted.

"Agreed," Daniel Jackson inserted. "Sam's father isn't going anywhere."

Jacob Carter laughed bitterly, "I'm afraid...Lantesh, that Selmak's not very happy with you as we know you're the one that ratted us out to the Council. I've got to go; because I am...we...are...so enraged right now... that I...we.... will do something that I may regret as... Selmak's armed... George, one final request."

"Jacob, you don't even ask, you know I'll do it," Hammond asserted quietly, the concern for his friend evident in his voice.

"Two things. Pack up my suitcase and leave on the doorstep. When I come back, you better be gone and make fucking sure that everyone else is. I'm afraid that this is goodbye_**."**_

Jacob turned his back from his closet friend in the universe, and he pointedly ignored his daughter who had stretched out her hand toward him.

"Dad, please," she whispered. "Don't go."

* * *

Walking out the front door he was surprised to see the Jaffa Teal'c stop in front of him. Teal'c gave a ceremonial bow and then he spoke, "I greet you, Jacob Carter and Selmak."

The large man nodded politely, which caused Jacob to check his fingernail's loosening grip on his sanity. The Jaffa was wearing a _**fishing**_ hat? Meanwhile, Selmak was roiling inside of him, screaming about the **_Shol'vas _**George and Lantesh, now he had a Jaffa in front of him, wanting to exchange pleasantries.

**"_Jaffa Kree!"_** He said then something else to Teal'c, which translated roughly into "Get out of my way before I blow you to kingdom come," and Teal'c nodded his head once and immediately got out of his way.

A very wise Jaffa, indeed.

His thoughts were racing in his head on how he needed to flee, needed to leave before he lost his thin grasp on his sanity and his humanity in front of his daughter. He had caught all of O'Neill's thinly veiled references about everyone's concern about Jacob Carter's rapid disintegrating sanity and how Jacob's loyalties had shifted to the Tok'ra....

_**Why George, why did you tell Sam where I was? Why?**_

**_Get to the 'vette. His life was focusing on small steps. Get to the 'vette. Get in the car. Run like hell. The Tok'ra were after him. The military would be after him shortly._** _**Why did he bring the 'vette? They'd find it. They would. They would. It stuck out like a stripper among the Amish, why did he bring the car? Get to the car. Get to the Car. Figure out what you're going to do next. Not going back. Not to the USAF. Not to the Tok'ra. Had to flee. Had to run. Time to run. Never going back again, not if he had anything to say about it. **_

**_?Shol'vas! Shol'vas! I trusted them! I am a fool,?_** wailed Selmak.

* * *

Janet Frasier had stepped back to allow Sam to greet her father in private. The boys had crowded behind Sam, and Janet presently realized from the look on Daniel's face that the situation was rapidly spiraling out of control. Jacob Carter was soon storming out of the house and she knew exactly where he'd go. He'd get in the car, and run like hell.

Therefore, she did something stupendously stupid and breathtaking brave. Somebody had to keep an eye on Sam's father, and Janet Frasier knew that she was the one closest to the car. Janet hopped into the passengers' side of 'vette just before Jacob opened the driver's door, and she was buckling herself in when he was putting his key in the ignition.

"Who the **_hell_** are you?" Jacob roared at her. "We haven't met yet, have we? Get the fuck out of my car, whoever the hell you are."

"No," she yelled back. "I'm staying. You'll have to drag me out of the car, kicking and screaming, General Carter."

"Fine," he said, as he hit the gas and reverse at the same moment. "You had your fucking chance, lady."

* * *

Hammond shook his head and ignored the disapproving looks of his subordinates. "No, you can't go after him. That would be a mistake," he insisted. "Dr. Frasier is with him, and I'm sure that she is perfectly safe with Jacob. I have absolute faith that she is control of the situation."

"She looked a little scared to me," Jack inserted. "Most have been when Jake hit reverse at eighty miles an hour."

"Colonel O'Neill!" Hammond said in a very authoritative voice. "I am giving you a direct order to shut up. I've just nuked a thirty-year friendship back to the Stone Age, so if I have to listen to your mouth, it will only anger me more. Is that understood, Colonel? Put your mouth in park, Colonel. If you can't do that, then get the hell back to Cheyenne immediately."

"Sir, yes, sir!" O'Neill said quietly.

"Thank you, Colonel," Hammond said in a slightly calmer tone of voice. "Captain Carter, I had requested that you not come to the house. Did you get the message? Unlike some under my command, I know that you wouldn't disobey a direct order."

"General, there's been problems with the satellite phones recently. A solar flare zapped out some of the satellites, so communications has been spotty," Carter advised him quietly.

There was a long pause, and then George nodded his head in acceptance.

"Sir?" Sam asked in a very quiet voice, her attempt at keeping her composure painfully obvious to Hammond.

"Your father has been having problems adjusting to Selmak. I made a comment to Selmak that made him believed that I didn't trust him with Jacob, and the situation spiraled out of control rather quickly after that. It was like a positive feedback loop. Selmak knew I didn't trust him, which got Selmak wary. Then Jake got leery because he knew that I didn't trust Selmak, and he thought that meant that I didn't trust Jacob Carter. I have complete and utter faith in Jacob Carter; it's Selmak that's got me troubled."

"You got my message at the cemetery, I take it." George's voice was restrained as he questioned Sam.

"Yes," Carter answered.

"I'm extremely sorry, Captain. I thought I could help your father, but it didn't work out as well as I had hoped," Hammond apologized softly as he rubbed his forehead with his hand. "Thirty years of friendship shot to hell, oh God. When my wife died, he flew in from Germany to be there for me."

"Don't blame yourself, sir. Blame the Tok'ra," Jack insisted. "We shouldn't have trusted them with one of our own."

* * *

Shifting wildly while weaving through traffic and taking the curves of California Costal Highway Number 1 at speeds far too fast for the road conditions, Jacob Carter tried to escape from his life.

The woman next to him had only said only thing to him, besides her initial dare to drag her out from the car.

_**"General, please. I have a daughter, and I want to make it home in one piece to her."**_

Other than that, she had hung onto her seatbelt and not said a single thing. When he was hitting speeds that were twice the posted limit, she had kept quiet. Selmak was uneasy in the back of his mind and he had a splitting headache. The two of them were thinking to each other about the ramifications of what occurred, and Carter was glad that he wasn't talking out loud. Else the lady next to him would be calling for the five point restraints.

"How old is your daughter?" Jacob yelled.

"Thirteen," she answered.

The adrenaline that had been pumping through his system failed him at that moment, and he downshifted quickly.

"It's a rough age to lose your mother," he commented softly. "Sammy lost her mother around that age."

"I know," the woman answered. "In my case, it's a little different. Her parents already died and I adopted her."

"What's your name?" he questioned.

"Janet," the female answered.

"No rank, no insignia? You've got to be one of George's people, as Selmak doesn't recognize you," Jacob questioned. "Unless you're a new Tok'ra operative, but I don't think they'd send a Newbie out after Selmak."

"Just Janet," Janet answered again. "Nothing more, and nothing less."

* * *

Janet Frasier was scared.

She could admit that to herself, and Janet could also chastise herself for jumping into the car when Jacob Carter was trying to escape. The absolute scariest part was listening to Jacob Carter and Selmak talk to each other. She didn't think that they knew that they were speaking out loud to each other, as they were that intense.

There were definitely two extremely different, very exceptionally strong personalities in that body, each of them trying to regain their emotional control but failing miserably. Selmak was almost hysterical, screaming about Hammond and Lantesh betraying Jacob, and how no one, _**NO ONE**_ including the Council would forcibly take her Jacob from her. Meanwhile Carter was repeating over and over again how O'Neill had questioned his sanity, that Hammond hadn't said anything to defend him and that he was never going back to the Tok'ra.

"Not just that, you know, Sel. But did you hear how he talked about you and the Tok'ra? He called you snakes and snakeheads. He's denying your humanity. He doesn't think you have a soul. He doesn't think well of you... and therefore...he was implying that I'm losing my humanity... What am I becoming Sel? What am I becoming?"

"They will not take you from me. They will not. They will not break our bond. I will not allow it."

Jacob Carter was an Alpha Male if she had ever met one, and Selmak... there was no doubt in Janet's mind that Selmak was female... and that she was intent on protecting her Jacob Carter at all costs. Yes, Selmak was definitely a Big, Bad Grizzly Mamma Bear who viewed Hammond and the rest as an imminent threat to her cub.

_**Ok, Janet. Selmak is acting like you would if anyone threatened Cassandra. Use that knowledge to help them because right now, you're the only person that can because they don't have misgivings about you just yet. They don't trust you, but they're not screaming at the top of their lungs and calling you a Shol'va.**_

Janet's rebellious stomach was grateful when Jacob decided to pull into a scenic overlook. There were a few people there admiring the panoramic view of the Pacific, and Jake slumped his head against the steering wheel.

"Dear God, Annie, anyone, please help me..."

"I will help you..."

"Selmak, please, I just hope that you can..."

Jacob's half-whispered, half-sobbed prayers for help from anyone made Janet more determined to help him. First things first, get the keys away from him, she, them. Quickly, she tried to grab the keys from the ignition, but the hyper vigilant, increasingly paranoid Selmak-Jacob was too fast. He-She-Them caught her wrist and bent it, but she had her hand firmly around the keys.

"Release the keys, Janet," Selmak-Jacob said. "I don't want to break your wrist, but I can... and I will, if you don't let go of them."

"Jacob, I know that you won't my break my wrist," Janet said in a confidence that she didn't feel.

Then she looked into his dark eyes and repeated her belief coolly and without the panic she was feeling inside of her. The General's eyes were exhausted and he looked at though he was on his very last reserves. Instead of breaking her wrist, Jacob's response was to put a little more pressure on her nerve, and the pain lanced up her arm.

"I'm not letting go, Jacob," Janet repeated. "You will have to break my wrist to get the keys from me and I know that you won't do that. It's not the type of person you and Selmak are."

Deliberately, she had stressed the idea that she believed Selmak was a person, and inwardly she hoped that Jacob would focus on that comment. O'Neill had angered the Jacob-Selmak duality greatly by refusing to acknowledge that Selmak was a person who was just sharing Jacob Carter's physical body.

"Jacob, when is the last time you slept?"

It was painfully obvious to her that Carter was running on pure adrenalin. His dark eyes blinked, as he wasn't expecting that comment.

"I sleep," he protested. "All the time. Hammond was harping on that just yesterday."

"Eight hours of **_uninterrupted_** sleep is what I'm asking about, not cat naps, Jacob, when's the last time you slept?"

"When did I die? Sel? Do you remember?" Jacob cocked his head and waited a response.

"Thirty two of your days ago..." Selmak's voice came from her host's lips softly, with a sense of profound grief. "Why must you mention your death to this woman? We know not who she is..."

"I died thirty two days ago in the hospital and they used the jumper cables... the paddles to bring me back.... It was before that... even before the last time I got admitted... I can't remember Sel, when was the last night I slept?" Carter was rubbing his forehead, so intent on his conversation with Selmak that he failed to realize that he was speaking out loud.

"It was before you met Captain Carter at the award ceremony in Washington. You haven't slept for a full night for several weeks before that because, you had a reaction to the chemotherapy and you couldn't sleep. You walked most of the nights away, my Tau'ri. I have not been able to get you to sleep for a full night since we blended. I have tried, but I cannot regulate your body chemistry sufficiently for you to sleep a full night. I am sorry, I have tried."

"That's ok, Sel, I know you've been trying to help me since we blended. I appreciate your support deeply." Jake's voice was very soft, almost tender when he spoke to Selmak. "I'm sorry I'm being such a problematic host. I'm just fucking everything up again, like normal."

"My fault, my Tau'ri. Not yours. Please don't blame yourself – it is my fault, completely."

It was almost the equivalent of eavesdropping on pillow talk, Janet thought in stunned amusement. Gruff and acerbic Jake Carter roared and yelled at everyone; except for Selmak and the wary Selmak always spoke soothingly to Jacob.

Jacob then returned to his usual crusty tone of voice when he spoke to Janet next. "Selmak says..."

"General," Janet interrupted. She wasn't going to mention that he and Selmak were talking out loud to each other, but perhaps there was a way around it. "Selmak. I would like Selmak to speak with me. It is neither polite nor respectful to Selmak for me to go through you to talk to her. She's a person, and I acknowledge that. Please assure Selmak that I wish to speak with her directly."

"Sel? Whatta think?" Carter asked quietly.

"Can we trust her? I spoke to Hammond directly, and he _**lied**_... I know not this woman except that she is one of **_his_**."

"General, while Selmak's deciding, do you think that you could stop hurting me?" Janet asked quickly, as Carter's grasp on her wrist had tightened both times Selmak had mentioned Hammond. "While I know that you won't break my wrist, it's beginning to hurt."

Selmak looked at her warily, and Janet managed not to gasp when Jake's eyes flashed. The general's exhausted eyes were then unexpectedly filled with an alien presence. The eyes were full of an overwhelming sense of age and never-ending grief.

**_Oh dear God, both of them are terrified, aren't they? Hammond, O'Neill and Martouf have got both of them in knots right now._**

"Let go of the keys and we will release your wrist," Selmak commanded.

"Let's do a trade, Selmak," Janet offered in a calm voice. "Give me the keys," the grip on her wrist tightened again and she nearly gasped from the pain as Jake Carter was very close to snapping her wrist. "And I give Jacob something that will help him sleep. If we get back to where he's staying, I can give him medication. Valium, other drugs, I have them with me, I'm a medical doctor, and I swear on my oath to do no harm, that I will protect your Jacob."

"You would... help... my Jacob?"

Dear God, Selmak's voice was full of conflicting emotions. She didn't trust Janet, yet knew that Jacob was more than she could handle. Grasping at straws, unsure of whom to trust, a wary Selmak was focusing on that one thought, the need to protect her Jacob. Instinctively, Janet knew that Selmak would grab any chance at helping him, no matter how flimsy.

It was exactly how Janet would react if she were trying to protect Cassandra.

"Yes, I swear. I pledge on my daughter. I have a picture of her, do you want to see it?" Janet asked.

"Please," Jake answered. "Selmak is the oldest of the Tok'ra, and she is fond... of children. I doubt that Martouf and Lantesh would be happy to know that Selmak remembers when they were very small."

The pressure on her wrist eased and then was gone, and Janet Frasier took the car keys gingerly. Where to put them? Oh the _**hell**_ with it, she decided to stuff them down her shirt and into her bra, trying not to wince at the pain from her wrist.

"Janet, or should I say, Doctor? Do you really think that's going to stop me if I decide I really want the keys back?" Jacob asked in a very amused yet exhausted voice.

"You're a gentleman, you won't," Janet said in complete confidence. "You're an officer and a gentleman, General Carter."

"Gentlemen do not kidnap people, and then give them a bruise like that one," Jacob reminded her, as he looked at her bruised and swollen wrist in disapproval. "Wait a second, Selmak wants to fix that in a show of good faith. We are both extremely sorry that we injured you, Janet."

Carefully, he took her hand with one of his, after putting the healing device on his other hand. He waved it over her hand, and the dark bruises faded almost immediately to a light green and then they were gone.

"Thank you, Selmak, Jacob," Janet graciously thanked them as she moved her wrist gingerly and then more vigorously. "Not even a twinge. Now, Jacob, let's go back and let me give you a little medication to help you sleep."

"No dreams I hope? I have had such visions lately of Goa'uld atrocities that I hate to sleep. It's not your fault, Selmak." Jacob Carter then gave Janet Frasier a very wan smile. "Selmak is blaming herself again. I hate when she does that."

"You two obviously care for each other," Janet said, and then cursed herself for sounding like a Hallmark card.

"Yes, we do. She's a remarkable lady and I wouldn't want to live through some of what she's experienced," Jake admitted. "She's really trying to help me, honestly."

"I know she is," Janet said matter-of-factly. "I do not doubt that."

Carter stared at the ocean for a bit, and then he mumbled something softly, "They burned her with acid, did you know that?"

"Pardon me?" Janet questioned.

"Acid. They dripped it on her host, Jana. The two of them had just left the Chappa'ai when Ra's Jaffas ambushed them. They cut her with knives and burned her with acid. Then it gets really ugly after that, Janet," Jacob stated in a dispassionate tone.

"I'm sorry to hear about this, Selmak," Frasier said in a calm voice, though inwardly her skin was crawling. Uglier than being cut with knives and burned with acid? No wonder Jacob Carter couldn't sleep.

"She doesn't want to me to know about it, but...somehow I do... and Selmak won't talk about it... but I need to...because... it's horrible what she went through... they hung her by her ankles and ...then they got the knives out..."

Jacob Carter shuddered.

"Go ahead, Jacob, talk as much as you need," Janet offered. "I won't judge anything you say."

"She crawled to the Chappa'ai on her hands and knees after she escaped, because she and Jana needed to get information to the Tok'ra. Her host Jana died, and Selmak was hoping that she'd be allowed to die with her....But the Tok'ra wouldn't let her die. They put her in Saroosh against her wishes. You don't know how old Saroosh was when they put Selmak into her."

"What's the normal age? I'm not familiar with it," Frasier admitted.

"Adolescent at the minimum, they prefer that the host is more mature, they don't like putting the symbiote in a young host because it's a rough experience.... Saroosh... was six years old. The Council walked into the nursery were their few children are kept, usually orphans that they find, I guess, and they requested a volunteer to be Selmak's host... and this little six year old girl agreed to it, because she loved Selmak and Jana.... Apparently Selmak's pretty popular among the younger Tok'ra... Larger than life legend, daring saboteur, general pain in the fucking ass. I guess it was like volunteering to be the host for Elvis or something...It's considered a very high honor to be the Eldest's host."

"It was very traumatic for Saroosh because six is far too young to experience memories like that. I mean, they hung Jana by her feet from a wheel and cut her while the wheel turned.... Being Saroosh's host changed Selmak. Saroosh was so terrified of what Jana had gone through that Selmak didn't want to risk adding more pain onto what Saroosh was dealing with. I mean, Selmak didn't want to share the memories of what happened to Jana to Saroosh, but as I'm discovering, after a while, it happens. It's turning into a mishmash. My memories... her memories... are turning into our memories...."

"So the fact that Selmak left the tunnels to come to Earth says so much, Janet... I don't think I deserve that amount of courage... I truly don't. I just can't go back there, I can't.... I just can't..." Jake Carter confessed softly. "And there's no way, anyone can ever make me..."

Then Jacob Carter's eyes flashed and Janet Frasier received a request from Selmak.

"Will you help me help my Jacob?"

"Yes,' Janet Frasier said quickly.

* * *

It was only after Selmak swore her to secrecy did Janet Frasier begin to feel alarmed. By the end of the conversation, Janet Frasier was deeply shaken by Selmak's ideal solution to the problem of Jacob Carter, unwilling host.

"He's never going back there again, I swear. And you will help me."

  
_**Never Going Back Again**_

_**(Lindsey Buckingham)  
  
She broke down and let me in  
Made me see where I've been  
  
Been down one time  
Been down two times  
I'm never going back again  
  
You don't know what it means to win  
Come down and see me again  
  
Been down one time  
Been down two times  
I'm never going back again**_


	5. Safely Insane

**_Dreaming permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives._**

_**Charles William Dement**_

**_Story: _**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

Part V Safely Insane 

_**Synopsis: **_

Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

In our last installment, Janet Frasier has created a bond with an increasingly wary Selmak using their joint concern for Jacob Carter. Selmak has confided her plans to free her host with the good doctor, and Janet has agreed to help Jacob using Selmak's proposal. The question is does Selmak's solution violate Janet's strong belief in the Hippocratic Oath?

**_Ratings: PG-13 _**Tsk-Tsk-Tsk. Jake and Selmak swear a wee bit.

**_Notes: ? Bold Italics?_** Means Selmak is talking to Jacob.

* * *

"Selmak, you are asking a great deal from me," Janet said in a very shaky voice.

Jacob-Selmak looked at her with those glowing, alien eyes.

"Would you not do this for your daughter?" Selmak questioned.

"It's not the same," Janet protested. "Don't you manipulate me because I'm a mother..."

But hadn't she done the same thing to Selmak? Hadn't she manipulated the Tok'ra using Jacob?

"Yes, you're correct about it not being the same situation. Your daughter is not old enough to legally consent? Jacob is and he has agreed with me, though it upsets him. He understands and approves for I could not do this without his sanction."

"May I hear that from Jacob?" Janet requested as Selmak's drastic solution surely went against everything Jacob Carter believed in.

"No. He's dozing right now. It also upsets him greatly to discuss the matter. He will be mortified if you see him like that. With the concerns of his daughter and her friends, he fears that any sign of weakness will be construed as a sign of his looming insanity. Therefore, you must accept that I speak for Jacob in this matter."

"So Jacob's chemotherapy for his lymphoma gave you this idea?" Janet questioned. "I'm just extremely uncomfortable with your proposed solution."

"We are fused in various areas of Jacob's vital organs. I can separate us via this method. Normally, this level of codependency would not be required except that Jake's cancer was far more advanced that anyone realized. I needed to rid his body of it and in doing so I needed to fuse with him to keep him alive. It will not harm Jacob, I assure you, and I can fix the damage to myself easily. I will contact the Tok'ra and advise them to prepare for another host for me, and three days after I have left Jacob's body, and we are certain that he can survive, I will go to my new host. But I must use radioactive ions to first removed and then cauterize the connections between us," Selmak stated without so much as batting an eye.

"They didn't have a host for you last month; they have one for you now?" Janet asked in concern.

Selmak smiled and assured Janet, "Before we left there were several new candidates that had appeared. Several operatives have returned to the base and there are new suitable host candidates."

There was something strange about Selmak's proposal that was bothering Janet's sixth sense. Selmak had seemed completely forthcoming in her information, and the symbiote had repeatedly assured Janet that Jacob approved of what she was planning. But Janet's intuition was informing Janet that something was seriously amiss.

"You promise me that Jacob won't be hurt?" Janet questioned, wishing her instinct would stop nudging her. What wasn't she seeing that her sixth sense did?

"Yes. I swear that I would never intentionally hurt Jacob," Selmak vowed.

"And you'll be fine? I want you to promise me that you're not getting hurt in this," Janet insisted.

"I'll be able to regenerate in my new host. Do you believe that I'd do this if I were to be permanently harmed," Selmak assured her a little too glibly for Janet's taste.

"Maybe," Janet admitted slowly. "If it were Cassandra, I'd take the pain easily."

"Then you understand why it's necessary that I do this. Jacob's waking up, so we will continue this conversation another time."

The dip of Jacob's head and the rapid blink of his eyes signified that he was back in control of his body and Janet could almost swear that she saw Selmak retreat physically and mentally to the back of Jacob's mind. But Janet knew darn well that Selmak was still watching her, warily.

"Selmak believes that I should go back, but I want a few more hours away from them. Let me walk the beach here for a bit, and I'll go back. Question, do you drive standard?" Jacob questioned.

"Yes," Janet answered with a smug smile. "What's the problem, General? You think a girl can't drive standard? I can even assemble a M5 and a M16 _**blindfolded**_."

**_Just please don't test me._**

That boast earned an expressive roll of Carter's eyes and a long-suffering sigh. "You must be really good friends with Sam. I'm just asking if you can drive standard, Janet. Some people prefer automatics. All right? As for my M5, you're not getting it from me just to prove to me that you can take it and reassemble it."

It took all of Janet Frasier's considerable poise not to react badly to the news that Jake Carter and Selmak had at least one weapon with them. She had hoped vainly that Selmak had left the Zat in the house... and instead, Jake had a gun with him – least with a Zat it took two shots to kill you.

_**Don't think that!!!**_

"I tried to teach Sammy how to drive on a standard. Good God, it was amazing either of us survived that experience as she was determined to burn out my clutch," Jacob laughed quietly. "What really shocked me was when she got her pilot's license. It's not that I think a woman can't be a decent pilot but it took her four tries to get her driver's license. I ended up paying an airman to teach her how to drive because it got too stressful for the both of us. She'd end up in tears and I'd want a drink. I was actually going to suggest a trade. Let me stay here for a few hours, and you can drive back."

"Let me raise the ante a little. I've got my phone; can I call them and let them that you're coming back?" Janet asked. "You know they're worried about you."

Jacob's face clouded over. "I was hoping that they had left, but George wouldn't leave you behind. He doesn't give up on people, even when he should have a long time ago."

His cynical comment seemed to be directed toward himself, and Janet wisely didn't say anything because sometimes the best answer was to say nothing. After a few minutes of dead silence, Janet decided to offer Jacob a solution.

"Let me call them, and I'll tell General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill and Martouf and Lantesh to back off and give you two some breathing room. Is that ok?" Janet questioned hopefully.

"And Sammy," Sam's father added softly. "I just can't deal with that pressure right now. I can't. Have her step back also."

"She's concerned about you, Jacob," Janet insisted.

"Doctor... Janet.... You don't understand. I have had demands from her ever since that very first time Anne handed my daughter to me, mere minutes after Sammy was born, and they've only escalated over the years," Jacob informed Janet.

Jacob's head bowed.

"Agree or we will not return. His daughter is a **_significant_** stressor to Jacob. While you believe Jacob is a gentleman, I will have no qualms about getting the keys back from you, no matter where you have hid them on your body," Selmak insisted.

Janet's response to Selmak's threat was one of shocked surprise. Apparently the Selmak-Frasier Accords weren't written in stone, and Selmak was willing to tolerate her just as long as Janet agreed to what Selmak decided was her host's best interest.

"Ok." Janet said quickly. "But let me call them."

The retired general was already out of the car, and walking quickly toward the beach.

"Do whatever the hell you want," he called over his shoulder. "Just don't let O'Neill so much as breathe on my car."

* * *

Sitting on a large rock that overlooked a breathtaking view of the Pacific, Jacob closed his eyes and thought inward and up.

_**Sel. Gotta talk. Don't be reticent.**_

Opening his eyes, Carter was moderately surprised to find that he wasn't home. Instead he was at the beach with black sand and he was sitting on a stone bench overlooking the bluest ocean he had ever seen. Jake knew he had never been to this particular locale before, as he had never seen a double sunned sky and he wondered why Selmak had decided on this particular location for their talk.

Selmak was sitting next to him, and the blonde wore the biggest smile he had ever seen on her face. She looked like the proverbial Tok'ra that had swallowed the Tau'ri canary, complete with feathers on her chin. But her formerly bright blonde hair was now liberally streaked with gray, there were very fine laugh lines around her eyes, and there were other minute changes to her appearance.

"I was right; you've got an ear to ear grin on that little snake face of yours, Sel. Why are you so happy?" Jacob questioned softly. "You also look differently each time I see you. You've got gray in your hair and your... teeth... look different."

For a moment, he was going to say 'fangs' but thought better of it. But they weren't as pronounced as they had been. Impiously, Selmak stuck her tongue at him. It wasn't split to his surprise.

_**?You put me in this form. The face is Jana's, but everything else is your impression of me, how you view me. Perhaps you are thinking of me as a contemporary, which is why I have the gray. There is even a very remote chance that your opinion of me is improving, so that is why my appearance is changing.?**_

Never get into a battle of words with a woman, was one of Jake Carter's mottos, and certainly never get into a discussion with a two thousand year old female snake, so he left that comment alone.

"Sel, do you want to go back?" Jacob asked.

_**?We need to. But you're going to have to do most of the talking from now on. I will not talk to Hammond unless it is absolutely required. I spoke freely and honestly with him, and I should not have. When we return you will talk to him and advise him that he needs to send a message to the Tok'ra stating that they are to send a representative through the Chappa'ai in two weeks. The representative will meet with us and we will discuss what we will do next. ?**_

_**?You will not have to return to the Tok'ra unless you desire to do so, Jacob. I have a marvelous plan, Jacob, and it will solve everything.?**_

That bit of news stopped Jacob in his tracks.

"How are you going to arrange that?" Carter questioned as he turned to face her.

Selmak put her hands on his face. They were slightly cool against his skin, and Selmak gave him another smile.

**_?I'm going to repudiate you as my host. I can leave your body, I just wasn't sure if was possible until a few days ago. You'll be fine, Jacob. I've healed your cancer, and you can live easily for another fifty or sixty years without any problems...?_**

"That's gonna fuck up my retirement," Jacob said in a botched attempt at humor to hide his uncertainty. Selmak was leaving him? "What's going to happen to you? You'll be all right, won't you? I'm not going to do if it hurts you in anyway. You know that, I won't."

Selmak smiled again and a moment, Jacob felt as though someone had walked over his grave. While Selmak's facial features were looking more and more human, her ancient blue eyes with their slit pupils were still as incomprehensible as ever. Could that be the reason why her smile didn't seem to reach her eyes?

**_?Yes, they can put me in stasis as I'm much healthier now, and once they find a host for me, I can go there. I was too ill before. I will miss you, Jacob, but it's better for you. And I will be here always.?_**

Jacob was strangely moved when Selmak put her hand over his heart.

**_?You've made a little room for me in there and your Annie will understand, I'm sure, that a small piece of your heart belongs to me. Just a smidgen, really, I don't require much room. Just let me have enough of your heart so that I'm warm and I'll be happy. You're by far the warmest host I have ever had. I must remember not to tell my fellow Tok'ra that else they will come through the Chappa'ai by the multitudes, looking for warm-blooded hosts.?_**

The blonde gave a delightful shiver as she hugged herself.

"Yeah, I know exactly how it'll work out. You'll get in there, and wiggle your way into more room," Jake said with a dry laugh. "You've squirmed in there somehow against my best defenses, Sel."

They watched the ocean in silence for a while.

"I really fucked things up, didn't I?" Jacob sighed in disgust.

**_?My fault completely. Don't blame yourself, whatever happens. Our blending didn't work for a variety of reason, including the fact that the Tau'ri blood chemistry is different that of our usual hosts.?_**

"I can't do anything right. I can't connect with my kids, they despise me and ...I try to push Sam away to protect her, and like a puppy dog, she keeps coming back for more abuse. I just can't do anything right with her, and it would be so much easier if she gave up on me."

**_?I have one request though, my Tau'ri. When I am gone, converse with your daughter. She'll have to look after you when I have returned to my people and you'll need to talk to her. Don't keep everything bottled up inside. She loves you a great deal, though I am not sure why.?_**

Selmak gave him a wicked smirk and then her grin faded into gentle amusement.

_**?I see the lonely man behind your growls. Please let your daughter see him. She needs to know him, Jacob.?**_

"Will I meet your new host?" asked her current host. "I need to make sure that I approve of her. And do me a favor, make sure your next host is female, Sel. You are far too female to be put into a male host. Trust me on that."

The blonde looked at him in confusion and then she played with her long blonde hair that hung down to her waist in a blatant attempt at hiding her uncertainty.

**_?You desire to meet my new host??_**

"Yes, I need to warn her about you," Jake said in a very stern tone. "How you take over the body at the least provocation..."

Selmak withdrew back into herself and smiled uncertainly at Jake. Realizing that Selmak was rather worried about that comment, Jake put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You took over when I was getting shaky. It's not like you did it deliberately to hide something from me."

The blonde gave him another unsteady smile, and Jake sighed.

_**Women.**_ He _**never**_ would understand them even if he were as old as Selmak.

"Come on, let's walk a bit. Janet's busy blabbing about our mental stability to them, and if we're going back to the jury, I need to be steady and composed," Carter sighed. "They just don't understand, their concern is just more pressure on me... on us..."

* * *

"General. Janet's on the phone," Samantha informed the General quickly, and then she continued talking to Janet even as Hammond tried to grab the phone. "Is he alright? Is he coming back? What can I do? Is he alright? Ok, I'll shut up long enough so you can answer my questions."

Sam gave an automatic apologetic gesture of her shoulders, even though she knew that Janet couldn't see it.

"Ok... ok... he said that? Really? Ok.... Ok.... Good.... Yes, General Hammond's here.... Ok... Ok... I'll let them know... General Hammond, Janet wants to speak to you..." Samantha informed the General.

He grabbed the phone from Samantha swiftly and barked "Hammond" into the phone where he then repeated almost verbatim the same conversation with Janet that Samantha just had. Carter sank into the couch and then in a rapid movement, she hit the couch arm hard with both hands. Then Samantha dropped back into the couch and she gestured wildly with her hands.

"He's being stubborn," she blurted out to the world at large.

Jack O'Neill was sprawled out on another couch that was perpendicular to where Sam was sitting, and he turned to face Daniel Jackson who had just entered the room with Teal'c.

"Jacob? Really?" Jack asked in artful innocence. "Stubborn? You must have him mistaken with someone else. Not our dear, sweet Jacob. He's so... easygoing..."

"Jack, now's not the time," Daniel hissed. "Sam, what's the matter?"

Teal'c then also asked Samantha Carter what the problem was.

"We'll just wait until General Hammond's off the phone, that way we all get the same information. But damn it," Samantha said as she hit the couch arm again. "Why does he always have to be like this?"

"Who? Jacob?" O'Neill asked again, ignoring Daniel's evil eye. "He was always such a sweet boy."

General Hammond hung up the phone and shook his head. "Captain, why does he always have to be like this?" he questioned in the same exasperated tone of voice that Samantha had just used to ask the very same question. "He's as stubborn as a goddamn mule."

"Who? Jake?" O'Neill inserted again. "Not our Jake."

"Colonel, you know damn well who I'm talking about," Hammond growled. He sat down heavily in a chair. "Jack, do you know if there's any Scotch in the bar? I'd like a drink. Make it a double."

For a moment, Jack O'Neill was about to say, "I'm a colonel, not a bar tender", but there was a look in Hammond's eye that made him decide that he'd humor George. It wasn't that he was afraid of Hammond on a normal day, but Hammond was having a rough day. Therefore he went to the bar at a clip that most would describe as a fast walk.

"Anyone else while I'm up?" Jack asked, trying to pretend that it was his idea to get Hammond a drink, rather than an expressed order. "Teal'c? Marty?"

Teal'c gave an expressive gesture of his hand, which translated into his unwillingness to drink due to the symbiote he carried.

"I'm make you something non-alcoholic Teal'c," Jack decided as he whistled in appreciation at the nicely stocked bar. "Daniel, Carter? Beer?"

_**Hmmm... I wonder if they have any of those little umbrellas. I'll make Teal'c something pink and fizzy. Marty too.**_

* * *

"Teal'c and Doctor Jackson, I have to make a personal appeal to both of you. Gentlemen, please feel free to turn this request down," George stopped and sighed. "As a personal favor to me, I am asking that you both keep an eye on Selmak and Jacob Carter. Dr. Frasier has informed me that the only way Jake will return here if we're still here is if O'Neill, Martouf and Lantesh, Captain Carter and myself give him a very wide berth."

Both men were about to answer, and George held up his hand. "Before you agree, I want you to be aware of the fact that both Selmak and Jacob Carter are carrying weapons, and I do not believe that they are the sanest they have ever been."

"What type of armament are we talking about, General?" Jack asked from behind the bar.

"Selmak's got a hand device, as you saw, a Zat, a healing device and there's something in a lead-lined locked box," Hammond continued slowly. "Meanwhile, Jake's got at least an M5 on him. Captain Carter, did you check your father's gun safe when you looked through his apartment?"

Samantha shook her head, "No, my father never gave me the combination. It was just the way he was, Dad never let Mark or I near his guns and that included the safe."

"Smart man," Jack O'Neill muttered softly from behind the bar as he slammed a glass down onto the counter. "**_Very_** smart man."

Hammond nodded his head briefly in acknowledgement of O'Neill's loss.

"Agreed, but I was hoping you knew what he brought with him. I'm assuming then that he's got the M5 and probably his survival knife as he never goes anywhere without it. I'm sure he's got a few other toys with him. And Janet claims that Selmak and Jake believe that we're the ones making them nervous."

That remark was followed by a bitter laugh from Hammond.

"It does not matter what weapons Selmak and Jacob Carter have, I will do whatever you wish me to do, General Hammond. I swore my allegiance to you," Teal'c began to explain.

"This is different, Teal'c. This is a personal favor for an old friend of mine, and it's not something that I'll force you to do because you promised me your loyalty."

As Hammond was expecting and inwardly dreading, an eager Daniel Jackson immediately volunteered. Hammond always believed that one day the idealistic young man would get himself killed trying to satisfy his insatiable curiosity, and Hammond prayed again that Jackson's death wouldn't be on his tour of duty. Teal'c took a moment longer and then he asked Martouf a question.

"Selmak is the oldest of the Tok'ra?" Teal'c questioned. "Selmak has fought valiantly against the Goa'uld? I know not the name of Selmak except for rumors of rumors, though Garshaw and others are known to be formidable opponents."

Martouf nodded, "Yes, she is the Eldest. At one time, she was the most daring of operatives, responsible for dealing many a setback to the Goa'uld. Unfortunately, Ra's Jaffas caught her on one mission, and she was hung from a **_shav'vant_** wheel."

"There are not many that can claim to survive a **_shav'van_**t," Teal'c commented in a respectful voice. "Was Selmak rescued or did Selmak escape?"

"Escaped," Lantesh answered for Martouf. "She crawled her way back to the Chappa'ai though her host's feet were crushed because she had information that the Tok'ra needed. Among my people, Selmak is considered our greatest war hero though she has not left the tunnels since that incident. For her to come through the Chappa'ai alone means that she believed that her host's best hope lay with his own people."

Teal'c nodded once.

"Indeed, to escape from a _**shav'vant**_ wheel shows tremendous willpower. I would be honored, General Hammond, to assist Jacob Carter and Selmak in any way possible. Jacob Carter and I have much in common, for I understand what it is like to be judged by your people because I carry a Goa'uld larva."

"It's **not** the same thing, Teal'c," O'Neill protested as he handed out the drinks. "Junior doesn't control you while Selmak has taken control of Jacob on more than one occasion. The Tok'ra pride themselves on the fact that they are different from the Goa'uld, but I am failing to see the difference..."

"Colonel O'Neill," Hammond interrupted. "Understand that I am currently having the same problems you are, but I expect all of us to treat Jacob Carter and his symbiote with respect."

"O'Neill, you may not comprehend the difference, but I most assuredly do," Teal'c remarked calmly.

Teal'c then looked at his drink in mild consternation. It was most assuredly pink and bubbly and it had a brightly colored umbrella. One eyebrow immediately rose in a question mark.

"O'Neill... my drink... it **_fizzles_**."

"As does mine," Martouf interjected in a worried voice. "Is it safe to drink?"

* * *

Janet would admit only to herself that she was terrified of driving the 'vette back. Yes, she was bringing back an emotionally exhausted General who was packing heat, and an ancient, alien symbiote to a potentially explosive situation... but it was the car that terrified her. What if she got into an accident and totaled the damn thing? Or scratched it? What if she got mud on it? With such happy thoughts on her mind, it was only natural that she stalled the car.

"Ok. I think I remember how to do this," Jacob commented softly in a very composed voice that just had to be counterfeit, as Janet knew no one could be that calm, especially the fire-breathing, gun-toting, stress-inducing Jacob Carter. "Relax. Turn the car off. Put your right foot on the brake; now play with the clutch for a bit. Get used to it."

"I really know how to drive standard," Janet blurted to the man next to her who was wearing those damn sunglasses that hid his eyes.

"I'm sure you do, because I would have ripped the keys outta your hands if I didn't trust you," the General growled. "Now hit the clutch, and practice shifting. She's temperamental and sticks a little getting into first gear. Ok?"

Janet nodded and gained an intimate knowledge of why Sam Carter needed an airman to teach her how to drive. Her father was too intimidating for mere words, as daunting, terrifying, and nerve-racking were inadequate words to describe him.

"You're doing fine," Jake assured her easily even as the car stalled out again with a noticeable kick and then a quivering shudder. "George had problems with it also. You just got to relax and stop being afraid of the..."

Car, Janet thought mentally even as Carter paused and gave her a wicked grin.

"**_Owner_**." He continued dryly. "I'm really not that bad once you get to know me even though I know Sammy's been telling everyone these horror stories about her childhood. I never locked her in a closet, and I never required her to take accordion lessons. When I grounded her, she truly deserved it. Trust me, I'm a teddy bear. Seriously."

Janet smiled weakly. Selmak was a two ton Mamma Grizzly Bear and Jake Carter thought he was a teddy bear. Yeah, right, General.

"More like a grizzly bear cub," Janet retorted.

Jake laughed, and Janet had the oddest sensation that Selmak was amused also.

In time she got the hang of the car, and after practicing with the shift for a bit, her enjoyment in driving the car took over. But Janet didn't hit the speeds that Jake had on their wildly careening car ride of earlier instead she drove very carefully.

She really didn't want to have to explain to Jacob Carter about a scratch on the car.

Meanwhile, Selmak questioned her about Cassandra, and Janet explained about what had happened on Hanka and Cassandra's recognizing that Jolinar had taken Sam as an unwilling host. The two talked for hours as Janet drove back. Then Jacob nodded his head, and he was in control of his body again.

"Did you two ladies have a nice conversation?" He asked dryly. "I fell asleep about fifteen minutes into it, I'm afraid."

It was only then that Janet Frasier realized how skillfully Selmak had pumped her for information regarding Sam.

* * *

_**I can't talk to his daughter because she does not trust the Tok'ra completely, in spite of her connection with Martouf and Lantesh. What an act of courage to send her dying father to the very people that had taken her against her will in the hopes of a cure.**_

_**Ah. Jolinar and Rosha. How I miss you both but still the blame for this explosive situation with my Tau'ri must rest firmly on your shoulders.**_

_**If you had never merged with Captain Carter... O'Neill and Hammond might have trusted me. But if you had only stayed in the tunnels where you could have been safe, you'd still be alive...**_

_**But I'd be dead, and so would my Jacob.**_

_**I can't stop agonizing over whom I can trust in this strange world. It is so hard to believe that I once walked this world with Egeria as she planned the rebellion against Ra. Of all the Tok'ra, my Code of Life is the only one that was sown on this planet, as the others of my litter are long since dead. The surviving Tok'ra's Codes were planted on other worlds far removed from my birthplace.**_

_**I am of the Tau'ri's blood and of their history. Perhaps that's why my bond with Jacob is so unusual, because we share our Code of Life.**_

_**I can't let anyone know how I am breaking my bond with Jacob because they might try to stop it, fearing that the Tok'ra will raze this brand new alliance between our peoples when I die.**_

_**My people will blame my death on Jacob while Jacob's people will blame me for the destruction of this coalition. I have to keep this alliance strong. How can I influence the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri to prevent the alliance from flying apart after I die?**_

_**How can I create a bond between our people when there is mistrust on both sides?**_

**_I just...wish that... I didn't have to lie to my Jacob._**

**_I just feel so alone._**

* * *

"Janet, is it gonna skeeve you out if I talk to Sel?" Jacob questioned her after a few minutes of silence. "It pretty much means that I'll have to ignore your sparkling conversation for a bit. I can't really banter with two people at the same time."

"No, why should it bother me?" Janet responded.

Janet's automatic answer earned a quick smile from a grateful Jacob Carter.

"It **_bothered_** George," was his reply.

"Well, General, hate to break it to you, I'm **_not_** Hammond," she retorted. "I don't have any stars emblazoned on my shoulders."

"God help me, I'm on this road trip with two smart ass females," the General responded with a dry laugh.

Janet watched out of the corner of her eye to see what happened next. Nothing very drastic, it just looked like the General was daydreaming.

* * *

_**Sel. What is the matter? You're being pensive.**_

Jacob questioned inwardly and he was rewarded with the mental image of Selmak sitting at a desk, scribbling intently with papers strewn everywhere. She was so focused on whatever she was writing that she was startled when he repeated his query louder. Jacob bent over and helped her pick up the papers that had flown off the desk when she had been startled.

_**Sel, why are you sitting at a desk that looks suspiciously like my old one at the Pentagon complete with the chip on the side? Freud would have a field day with our relationship. I wish you came with a handbook; maybe you'd make sense then.**_

_**?I'm trying to prepare myself for meeting with them. ?**_

Selmak went back to her paperwork, and Jake peered over her shoulder, trying to read it. It wasn't in Tok'ra and it wasn't in any language he could read, naturally. Sometimes, he wondered why Selmak was keeping so many secrets from him. Was it because she was female, or was it because she was a Tok'ra?

**_Oh. Hammond. O'Neill. Sam. Teal'c. Martouf-Lantesh and Jackson. Preparing a speech to prove that we're both sane? Don't worry, Sel, they won't listen, so don't waste your time. Let me handle it._**

_**?I've caused a great deal of difficulty with you and your friends. Perhaps if I say something? I've written an apology... it's long, and very thorough. Will they approve**_ **_then? ?_**

Sel's voice was sincere and her desire to smooth everything over with his friends was so heartfelt that it almost hurt Jacob physically to realize anew how much his daughter and her friends mistrusted Selmak.

**_Don't. They haven't apologized for being rude to you, have they? We're not going to have to deal with them for a while. Dr. Frasier is going to drug me into insensibility and I'm going to be able to sleep._**

Jake smiled awkwardly at Selmak. He really didn't want to ask this question, but his pride demanded it.

**_Ah... Sel?_**

**_?Yes?_**

Jake truly didn't want to ask this particular question, but it was essential for his fraying peace of mind.

**_We're not gonna have a repeat of last night, are we? Not in front of the good Doctor, I hope._**

Instantly, Jake regretted asking that as his symbiote's face was stricken with horrified embarrassment. Hesitantly, he put his arm around her, even as she cringed in mortification, and he gave her an awkward hug. Damn it, he wasn't good with the emotional shit.

**_Hey. I'm just asking what your reaction's going to be with whatever she gives me. I told you that I don't have any regrets about last night, as it was amazing and... astonishing... Sel. It was, and you know that it is impossible for me for me to lie to you. I just want to make sure that whatever she gives me, doesn't affect you adversely. I don't want your new host getting a loopy symbiote._**

_**?I can assure you that anything the doctor does to you will not permanently affect**_ _**me. ?**_

_**I'm glad. You still haven't told me when I get to meet your new host.**_

_**?You won't**._

That bit of news startled Jake and he began questioning Selmak.

**_Why the hell not?_**

Jacob was expecting a slew of answers to that question. Was it because he was an embarrassment to the Tok'ra? Did they fear that his Tau'ri impurity might affect Sel's new bond? But the answer he got wasn't the one he was expecting.

**_Because you are a deeply reserved soul. You are very reticent and you hide your inner pain from those closest to you, like your daughter and Hammond. Would you feel comfortable if you met someone, a total stranger, who knew all of your internal pain intimately? I cannot do that to you, Jacob. It will be better for you if you don't meet my next host. But know that I will think of you fondly until the occasion when my body is placed into the Chappa'ai for the very last time_**.

With that thought, Jacob broke the mental connection. Sometimes, these mind-to-mind conversations with Selmak left him shaken emotionally to his very core as he was becoming convinced that Annie and Selmak would have gotten along fabulously.

Both women knew the real Jake Carter and to his completely bewildered astonishment, they loved him anyway.

Why?

* * *

"General... General Carter? Selmak?" Janet questioned intently as she pulled up the long driveway. "We're back. Selmak? General Carter? Are you ready to go in?"

Sam's father shook his head.

"I don't want to go in there. I hate what they're doing to Sel," he said softly. "I'm tired of the mistrust and the abuse that they direct at her, and I'm exhausted of their constant concern about my impending mental collapse. It takes all my energy to prove to them that I'm sane, and I can't waste any of it on being polite."

The General stared off into the distance for a few minutes, and then he reached for Janet's hand. Squeezing it gently, he then whispered, "Thank you. For treating her decently. You're the only one that has. She troubles George, and his unease gets her very anxious. He means well, but it's just more stress on top of everything else."

"Anytime," Janet smiled brightly as she placed the car keys into his hand. "I'm very happy to have met Selmak and I enjoyed our conversation. I hope that the three of us can chat again."

* * *

"They're here," Jack O'Neill called loudly as he peered out the window, carefully so not to disturb the curtains. He didn't want Jacob to realize that he was being watched. "And he let Janet drive the 'vette back."

That's so not right, he thought even as he tried to pretend that he didn't want to drive the 'vette. They ruined the Corvette with that body style; it used to be so sweet.

"Everyone just stand back and let Jake do whatever he wants," Hammond ordered. "Last thing I want is that symbiote feeling threatened by any of us, especially by you, Colonel. Jake's a damn good shot, and I don't want you to end up with a bullet in your head."

George pointed specifically at Jack O'Neill who put on a mock pout.

"I don't know why she doesn't like me. I've never had that problem with any other aliens...well... except for the Goa'ulds... and the majority of the Tok'ra...." Jack responded insincerely. "Then the Tollans..."

"O'Neill, this is my face when I'm not laughing," Hammond barked.

The front door opened, and everyone tried to look innocent. In the case of Jack O'Neill, he failed miserably, but then again, he wasn't really trying. Instead, he was on hyper alert status, wanting to make sure that if there were problems, he could handle it swiftly. His knife was in his back pocket, and he had his pistol hidden.

Janet Frasier walked into the hallway, and then into the room.

"We're back. He's calmer now, so don't piss him off," she whispered.

"Us?" O'Neill questioned in a faux innocent term.

"O'Neill..." George said in a very quiet voice. "I'll pack you up and ship you back to Cheyenne myself via parcel post if you don't keep your goddamn mouth shut."

* * *

Jake Carter walked into the room, wearing his sunglasses and he looked at everyone in the room, mentally gauging their moods. God, it was Judge George and the jury, all of them staring at him, with patently fake cheery smiles on their faces, just waiting for him to crack up. That was the final straw.

Jake didn't want to lose his composure but it had been a very long day. The stress of keeping a permanent smile on his face was getting to him, he wasn't sleeping more than the occasional catnap, and the worse part was, he could admit to himself that he really didn't like himself very much at the moment. George and the rest all thought that he was sleeping with the Tok'ra, and well, he was guilty as charged.

_**Repeatedly.**_

Probably he even had the best sex in his life last night.

**_Repeatedly._**

He had taken advantage of Selmak's sweet sincerity last night.

**_Repeatedly._**

God above, how much he hated himself.

That acidic thought upset Selmak and Jake damned himself again. Whatever he did, he always ended up hurting Selmak, the only truly innocent party in this entire mess. Perhaps, it was time that he directed his rage outward, toward the people watching the free freak show, especially toward O'Neill.

Jake wasn't sure why he didn't like O'Neill, except for the fact that Jack was a slightly younger version of himself, and certainly not good enough for Sam. Maybe... yes... it was O'Neill's snide and belittling comments about Selmak, the way the younger man openly questioned his sanity..

For years, he had suppressed his emotions, learning quickly as a child that it was the only way to have a measure of self-peace due to his drunk of a mother, but Jake Carter knew one thing.

Words hurt.

And he was furious, exhausted from being poked, prodded and judged by a multitude of people who had no idea what he was going through. How he loathed their little concerned condescending looks as they weighed and measured his sanity.

**_HE WAS SANE._**

They were unbelievably rude to his Selmak, and the two of them had turned the other cheek repeatedly, pretending to ignore their snide comments. Their patronizing digs about Selmak's sanity.

A rational person could take so much and **_NO_** more.

**_HE WAS SANE._**

He was fucking tired of pretending that everything was just fine and how their little pokes and prods didn't bother him.

"I'm back. I'm sure you've all been waiting anxiously for my looming crackup. Sorry to disappoint you, I'm **_still_** completely sane. Selmak sends her warmest regards to all of you, not that any of you will actually give her the time of day," he said in a very dry voice. His smile could only be described as brittle and George could see his internal tension in Jacob's ramrod straight posture and tight shoulders.

"So... where's Mark?" Carter Senior questioned. "I'm sure someone must have invited my son. George? Didn't you? Oh – it must have been Sam? Didn't you invite your brother? He's late."

"I wouldn't..." Samantha blurted in protest. "How could you even think?"

Jake Carter's laugh was loud. "Because you invited everyone else, Sammy. It's only natural that he'd show up, he wants his pound of flesh from me. Just like you."

"Jacob," O'Neill couldn't watch Carter Junior being chastised by her father. "Your daughter's concerned about you, just like we all are. Ever since you got Tok'raized..."

"I've changed," Jake responded shortly. "Of course I have. You wanted me to be the liaison to the Tok'ra. I needed to change."

"You weren't supposed to go native," O'Neill shot back. "Forty years in the military and you're defending that snake in your head against your own daughter, Jacob."

"Native? Are you accusing me of getting my head all confused because I've gone native? What's next, are you gonna accuse me of bedding them? Is that what you're saying O'Neill? Then come out and say it," Jacob said in a too quiet voice with a very strange look on his face. "Come on, say it, Jack."

"No, I won't say it, because I refuse to think that you'd do that," Jack answered quickly.

"Then I'll say it," Jake's voice turned into a flawless imitation of George Hammond, complete with drawl. "Jake Carter, we're a little concerned. We think you got a bit of snake tail from an agente de'amore, and you've gone over to the darkside. Are you planning on selling out Earth? If you're not, we're still bringing up an Article 15 for conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentlemen, because as a former General, you know the Air Force truly frowns on bestiality."

"They're not like us, Jacob. They don't think like us, they don't have the same loyalties..." O'Neill protested.

"They are not beasts. They are not animals. They have souls, O'Neill. Souls. You don't know what they've been through. For over two thousand years, they've been fighting an uphill battle against the Goa'uld. Despite their losses, every damn day they lick their wounds and continue the fight. Compared to them, Earth's gotten off pretty goddamn easy."

"They want us for hosts, Jacob. That's all they want," O'Neill answered quickly. "They weren't going to even talk to us until we got them a host for Selmak. Hathor had her hooks in me once, and I swore, never the hell again."

"They don't want you as a host," Jake shot back.

Taking one look at Jack's disbelief, Jacob's anger caused him to slam Jack against the wall. The older man put his finger in O'Neill's face and General Carter began chewing him out like he was a rookie airman.

"You don't understand. You truly don't. I know, because I have lived her memories. I know what death feels like. I have felt the pain of a broken neck. I have experienced numerous wounds made by staff weapons, and I even know what it is like to crawl to the Chappa'ai and realize that you're dying, O'Neill. I have felt the sting of a Zat repeatedly and I felt the unbearable grief caused by the deaths of far too many good people. I have hung from my ankles from the shav'vant wheel, the traitor's wheel while Ra's Jaffas cut me with knives and burned me with acid. Selmak and I are one and the same now. What Selmak's experienced, I have_."_

"I've known such despair and hopelessness that you couldn't begin to understand with your limited experience..." Selmak spat that at O'Neill.

Selmak had taken over Jacob's body and his hands were clenched. Jack cautiously began reaching for his knife and Selmak grabbed his arm to twist it away. The two of them stared at each other, and O'Neill refused to give voice to the pain Selmak was inflicting on him.

"You **_slur_** my host. I call insult on the one known as Jack O'Neill. Pick your second, and I will fight you both in the circle until you apologize or one of us lies dead," Selmak stated in a very angry tone.

"Selmak, don't..." Janet Frasier said softly as she tried to step between Selmak and O'Neill. "Please. Please. Jacob wouldn't want you to kill anyone. They are his daughter's friends. It's not what Jacob would want."

"I grow tired of his insults and his petulance. He upsets my host, and I will no longer tolerate his slights. Is it not ironic, Doctor? Your people treat the former First Prime of Apophis with honor, and my Jacob who was served his people valiantly for many decades is not awarded the same courtesy?"

"Teal'c has saved their lives on more than one occasion," Janet explained.

"I saved my Jacob's life several times. I even assisted the team you call SG-4. Yet I am treated with slights and insults and his subordinates dishonor Jacob because of our association," Selmak reminded Janet.

Janet placed her right hand on Selmak's.

"I'm requesting that you retract your statement because I know killing him is not what Jacob would want and I know that it's not what you want. Let General Hammond handle him. The Colonel reports to Hammond, and let Hammond handle it. Let go of O'Neill."

Deliberately, Janet Frasier took her free hand and she placed it on top of Jacob's.

"You're both exhausted, and O'Neill is mouthy. Everyone knows that he's a smartass. Let Hammond handle it, Selmak. I can assure you that it will be handled appropriately. You know Jacob is struggling very intensely to keep the current situation from exploding. You're both worn-out and Jacob commented that you two are both exhausted from continuously having to prove your sanity. Killing O'Neill wouldn't help prove that."

Frasier laughed softly, trying to inject humor into a situation that was scaring her to death.

"Or maybe, it would as the Colonel would try the patience of the saints. But I know that if you let O'Neill go and retract your challenge, it will prove to everyone in this room that Jacob and you are sound, reasonable, levelheaded people who have been pushed too far. We all know O'Neill's sarcastic sense of humor. Let him go. O'Neill's death isn't what Jacob would want. You know that, Selmak."

Selmak stared at Janet Frasier with her glowing eyes. Then she nodded once, releasing O'Neill quickly and made a deliberate show of rubbing her hands to clean them of O'Neill's taint.

"I retract my claim. But know this, one more word from him, and I will snap his neck with my bare hands. **_It is not that hard to do_**."

That comment was directed toward Jack O'Neill who was moving his hand, slowly, away from his knife.

"Selmak. Come with me, please," Janet stated in a calm voice. "You need to come with me. Please."

Selmak gave O'Neill a look of complete disgust and then his head nodded. Then Jacob Carter was staring at O'Neill.

"Stop pissing Selmak off, because I'm not gonna stop her when she goes for your throat the next time. I'll be cheering her on, in fact." Carter Senior started toward the door and then he stopped, as he had to have the last word. "_**LOUDLY**_."

There were several minutes of silence after Selmak and her General left, as everyone was quite relieved that Jack O'Neill's neck was still intact. Then O'Neill broke the silence.

"I could have taken him. Her. It. Them. Easily."

* * *

"General..." Janet began as the three of them, man, symbiote and doctor walked towards Jacob's bedroom.

"Call me Jake, or Jacob if you're mad at me," he responded. "I'm not a General anymore. I don't know what the hell I am anymore, but I'm not a General. When's the straight jacket showing up, Janet? Is it gonna be soon?"

"Why don't you and Selmak use the Jacuzzi? Soak for a bit, and I'll be back as I need to get my little black bag."

Jacob nodded, and then he quietly thanked Janet for intervening.

"Sel was ready to kill Jack. She thinks that the group out there is against us," Jake admitted. "I had thought better of George, but I have to agree with her."

"They're concerned, Jake. They are, but they're also not being too polite to you and Selmak, so I can understand why she is upset. Though I would prefer if you don't kill Jack as I'm on vacation, remember?"

Jake laughed softly and nodded his head again.

* * *

Janet Frasier grabbed her drugs and went down to the bar, where she knew everyone was discussing the latest incident with Selmak.

"Ok, people," she said bluntly, interrupting O'Neill. "Here's the situation. I have a few minutes to talk to you before I go upstairs and give General Carter and Selmak enough Valium to knock out SG-3 for a week."

"You people have managed to get those two people upstairs tightly wound up in knots. Selmak is one mean Mamma Grizzly Bear determined to defend her cub against the entire universe if necessary. She doesn't trust any of you. Jacob also hasn't slept decently in the last two months, so he's wired and extremely short-tempered. I would take his comments about sleeping with the entire Tok'ra population with a grain of salt."

Janet held out her hand, stopping Hammond before he finished opening his mouth.

"Cat naps. He's been power napping a few hours here and there, but he's awake twenty to twenty two hours a day, and Selmak can't get him to sleep. It's been going on for the last... two months or so. The chemotherapy screwed up his system, and the stress of adjusting to Selmak hasn't made it any easier."

"I think he's reacting normally to what's going on. In the last three months, he got diagnosed with Lymphoma, had chemotherapy and radiation, and clinically died. He managed to pull himself together to go through the Gate, where he was turned into a Tok'ra. I don't believe it's been an easy adjustment for him, especially since Selmak is a very strong personality who happens to be female. But she's determined to protect him by any means necessary."

"My suggestions are... back off. Colonel, stop pushing Selmak's buttons because General Carter isn't gonna stop her next time she wants to shut you up permanently. General Hammond, sorry to break it to you, you're stressing them both out tremendously. And Sam, I hate to tell you this, but...," Janet paused, losing her authoritative tone as she gave Sam a sympathetic smile, "You shouldn't have come. We shouldn't have come here, because Selmak feels that she's surrounded by the enemy."

"I'm his daughter, I'm not the enemy..." Sam interrupted.

"Your father and you have an uneasy relationship and seeing you here is just getting him more wound up. He doesn't want you to see him like this and yet we're all here, like bystanders at his nervous breakdown, gawking and taking pictures. That's their viewpoint and Selmak, being very over protective of Jacob, is not very fond of any of us right now. But I can tell you that she really despises O'Neill."

"Perhaps Jacob is projecting Selmak's animosity toward O'Neill, as what emotionally affects one affects both, especially this early in their bond. O'Neill has not treated her with the proper respect," Martouf offered helpfully.

His betrayal caused O'Neill to scowl at him and whisper, "Thanks, Marty".

Janet waved her hand in a gesture that conveyed her wish that Jack would shut up and let her finish talking.

"Now I've got to drug him before the two of those exceedingly paranoid souls convince themselves not to take the Valium. Now please, follow my suggestions, or else I'll have to remind you as a medical professional my concerns for my two patients upstairs overrides everyone else's rank. Trust me, I will order you all to go back to Colorado."

Janet walked out of the room, and they all stared at her retreating form.

"Was that... Janet?" asked Daniel for all of them.

"It looked like her," Teal'c commented dryly.

"Didn't sound like her."

* * *

Jake Carter was sitting in a chair and he had his sleeve already rolled up neatly when Janet entered his room.

"What are you giving me?" He asked gruffly. "It better be a pretty damn good cocktail, because Sel will probably counteract everything you're gonna give me."

_**?I'm sorry Jacob, I'll try not to do that.?**_

"I don't know how many times I tell her she doesn't have to apologize to me, but she still does," Jake sighed as he informed Janet of that personality quirk.

Janet gave him a warm smile, and she prepped his arm using an alcohol pad.

"It's a couple different drugs. There are two sedatives on board, and I hope you don't mind, I'm giving you a little something extra," She hit him with the needle and then continued, "For anxiety."

Expecting a lion's roar of disapproval, Janet was surprised when Jake nodded his head.

"Hope it helps. How long do you think that I'll sleep for?"

"I'm hoping the entire night," Janet promised.

"Sounds positively delightful," he admitted dryly. "Now, you don't have to stay here with me. Go back to your friends. You don't want your reputation ruined by staying in my bedroom until I fall asleep. You could be here for hours. They already think I'm sleeping with three quarters of the Tok'ra population, you don't want them to think that I'm bedding you."

"I think that might make my reputation," Janet said very deadpan. "Sleeping with the first man on Earth who could truly claim having learned out-of-this-world techniques."

That ribald comment earned an unexpected blush and a little boy smile from Jacob Carter.

"It's no wonder Sel likes you, you're both going to be the death of me," Jake laughed. "I think I'm feeling a little weird, so I better lie down."

His head bowed, and Selmak stared at Janet.

"Give him more, please," Selmak requested.

"Sel?" Jake questioned as he staggered toward the bed. "Are you sure that I need more. I'm feeling pretty loopy..."

"He'll be awake in an hour or two. Give him more, please."

"I gave him enough to knock out a team of Marines," Janet protested.

"He'll be awake in an hour or two. Give him more, please. I want him to sleep. He needs to sleep. I'll be awake and I'll make sure his airway is secure. Give him more, _**please**_," Selmak repeated.

"He's almost asleep now," Janet exclaimed and then she decided that perhaps Selmak was right. "Ok, I'll prep another one for him."

The response from General Carter was none, as he was already asleep on the bed. She injected him again, covered him with his blanket carefully and she was about to leave when she felt General Carter's hand on hers.

"We have much work to be done if I am to separate from Jacob. There is a small box over on the dresser. Please bring it to me. He's not in a deep enough sleep for me to move freely. I must explain to you what must be done if there is a problem..."

"Selmak, are you sure about this?" Janet questioned. "Jacob knows what you're doing and how? I just don't think that he'd agree to your method."

The only response was silence, and Selmak's glowing eyes stared into hers.

"If you will not assist me, I will do it alone. Please leave," Selmak informed her.

"I'll help, I just wanted to make sure that Jake's aware of what you're doing. He cares for you, Selmak, I know he does, and I find it hard to believe that he'd let you do this to yourself."

"The end result in this case justifies the means. Our separation must happen soon for the mental strain continues to build on both of us."

Two vials of something that glowed a faint white, Selmak swallowed without a protest. Then Selmak took a small silver pyramid from the box, and Janet was instructed to relock the box.

"What's that?" Janet asked.

"Something similar to your photo albums I would say. While Jacob's sleeping, I wish to look at them. Please go now, and I thank you for your assistance."

* * *

"Dr. Frasier," George Hammond said quietly as the doctor returned. "How are both of your patients?"

"They're both asleep," she said dryly. "But I could use a drink."

"O'Neill will make whatever you want," Hammond offered generously.

Everyone ignored O'Neill's look of blatant surprise, as everyone except for O'Neill had realized that George Hammond had decided that Jack was going to play bartender. It was George's sly way of payback and George was intent on turning the thumbscrews very, very slowly. Hammond always prided himself on rarely getting mad, but always getting even.

"Actually, I don't really drink," Frasier admitted with a wry smile. "Make whatever you want."

"I know just the drink," O'Neill muttered. "Vodka, Peach Schnapps and Blue Curacao. One Wild Blue Yonder coming right up."

"Sorry about the quick explanation earlier, I was a little nervous about Selmak," Janet confessed.

"Aren't we all?" O'Neill shot back quickly.

"I know where's there's a box with your name on it, son. Don't make me mail you back to Cheyenne," Hammond threatened. "Anyway, Dr. Frasier, I would like to personally thank you for stepping in and resolving that situation just now. I truly expected to be short one mouthy colonel when I returned from this trip. You have gone above and beyond on what I expected from you on this trip, and I do value your contributions, as apparently you are the only one to which Selmak will listen."

"General Carter has enough valium on board to knock out SGC for a week. I wasn't sure about the dosage, but Selmak insisted," Janet grimaced. "Selmak can very persuasive when it comes to Jacob."

"What's your view of the situation?" George asked. "I'm somewhat concerned, because I can literally see Jacob changing before my eyes. He is not the same man that came through the Stargate all of what... two or three days ago?"

"The two of them have a bond I can't even begin to describe. They're not lovers, it's not a husband and wife connection, but it's pretty darn close. I'd say the two of them are soul mates in every sense of the word. Selmak is struggling to keep Jacob safe and Jacob's endeavoring to calm Selmak down, as Selmak is just getting more and more paranoid."

Janet took a long swallow of her drink, and then continued, "Sam, your father's obsessing about every comment we make, trying to find hidden slurs of his alleged insanity in even the most innocuous of phrases. Jake's obsessing gets Selmak more upset which rattles Jacob. Sam, I hate to say this, but I don't think your father was prepared to be... Tok'raized... and I don't believe that the Tok'ra were equipped for an... earthling... to be Selmak's new host. The cultural clash must have been overwhelming for both Jacob and Selmak."

"Your father did have some difficulties adjusting," Martouf offered that comment softly to Sam. "He would not attend... the Tok'ra meet and greets... I fail to understand many of Jacob's comments, but he seemed to prefer solitude. Selmak and he became more and more withdrawn as time progressed. The Council was becoming... concerned... about the situation."

Martouf's head nodded and then Lantesh looked at Jacob Carter's daughter.

"**_Torn_**. That is how Selmak described him to me, that your father was split between his obligations here and there. Selmak had hoped that his returning to his home world would allow the bond between them to develop and give him... peace of mind," Lantesh admitted.

"Comments have been made to me by both Jacob and his symbiote that the Tok'ra Council was more than just concerned about the situation," George interrupted. "My interpretation of the situation is that the Council was going to intervene and forcibly remove Selmak from Jacob. The Tok'ra would naturally be more concerned about the health of one of their own, rather than their newest host."

That comment earned a rapid blink from Janet Frasier and Hammond mentally noted that she wasn't telling him everything, and that Martouf didn't deny his statement. What the hell was the truth in this situation anyway? Too many people knew only bits and pieces, and the one person that knew everything didn't trust anyone, as Selmak was too chary.

"And... when they come through the gate, the two of them were subjected to a manhunt by both the Tok'ra and us," Daniel Jackson inserted. "They are paranoid, and rather rightfully so."

"Should we leave?" George asked. "I don't want to leave Jake by himself... but if I have to, I will and I'll make sure everyone leaves with me."

"I'll ask them tomorrow," Janet answered easily.

"You're quite...chummy with Jake and the Snake?" O'Neill quipped.

A moment of silence fell on the room even as Jack winced at his comment. Even **_he_** had to admit that he had stepped over the boundary on that comment. He had been calling Jacob and Selmak, Jake and the snake mentally for so long that it had just slipped out.

"**_O'NEILL. THIRD WARNING AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE,"_** Hammond barked.

"O'Neill, perhaps you may wish to think deeply before opening your mouth, as you appear to be unintentionally antagonizing Jacob Carter and Selmak, among others," Teal'c commented. "Next time, Dr. Frasier may not be here to defuse the situation."

O'Neill glanced quickly at Teal'c for it was the first time he had ever heard something close to criticism from the quiet Jaffa.

"Dr Frasier, I take it that you, Jake and his little friend are rather friendly?" O'Neill asked in an innocent voice with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I would say so, as Selmak and I had a long conversation on the drive back," Janet admitted matter-of-factly.

"Janet," Sam asked in a very tired voice. "Can I see my father at least? I won't wake him up, I just...Oh God..."

Her voice trailed off unsteadily even as her shoulders collapsed from the weight of the world. She slumped back into her chair in defeat.

"I haven't even had the chance to say hello to him yet," she mumbled. "I saw him for what... two minutes before he left...He thought I told Mark about this."

"I'll go with you," Janet offered.

"Captain, when you're finished, I want to talk to you and Dr. Frasier in private," General Hammond advised her. "You're all dismissed with the exception of Doctor Jackson, I want to speak to you."

* * *

Selmak was awake while Jacob slept in the back of her mind and she heard the hesitant footsteps outside the bedroom door. She rolled onto to her shoulder to face them as they entered the room, and Samantha Carter came to a dead stop.

"Dad?" She whispered in a very hesitant tone although her father's glowing eyes were a dead giveaway on who was in control of the body.

"No... he's asleep," Selmak informed her.

"I won't wake him, I just wanted to see him," Sam assured Selmak. "I worry about him."

Selmak nodded once.

"Janet, would you mind leaving? I want to talk to Selmak, please." Sam asked Janet, who then looked at Selmak for permission.

"You may go, Doctor," Selmak stated as she nodded her head.

"I'll be outside in the hallway if you need me," Janet offered helpfully, even as she slipped quietly out the door.

"Now, you wish to speak to me, Captain?" Selmak questioned.

Samantha Carter nodded her head once, and Selmak stared at her, noticing even the most minute traces of Annie in Sam.

"You look like your mother, Captain Carter," Selmak informed her host's daughter.

"Everyone says that, but I have my father's personality quirks in spades," Sam admitted. "Stubborn..."

"An unwillingness to see your loved ones hurt," Selmak protested, intent on defending her host.

"Tomorrow, Janet will ask you and my father if all of us should leave. Please, I know you're very protective of my father, and I appreciate that, but... please don't send me away. I need to be here for him," Sam requested.

"Your presence brings him pain," Selmak informed Samantha, regretting at her honesty when she saw Jacob's daughter flinch.

"Please?" Sam asked again. "I know that my being here really bothers him, but I think that... if I just leave him here, we'll never get our relationship straightened out. Whenever the two of us hurts the other one, we just draw back. Maybe it's time for my father and me to stop retreating from each other."

Selmak stared at her host's daughter for several minutes in silence, inwardly reviewing her host's relationship with Sam. Perhaps, Samantha Carter would be helpful in the situation, and then again... perhaps she was grasping at straws, growing more and more desperate in her desire to keep her host safe.

Nodding once in acceptance, Selmak was surprised when Sam impulsively squeezed her host's hand.

"Thank you," Sam whispered. "Janet says that you care for my father..."

"Does that surprise you??? It would surprise the Colonel, I know, and that I possess such a basic... sentiment... Yes, I care for my host. I have cared deeply for all of my hosts," Selmak said bitterly.

"No, I didn't mean it that way; I meant that Janet says that you've been trying to help him through this. I just wanted to say thank you for being there, when I couldn't be."

Her honesty swayed Selmak, and she decided that perhaps she should meddle in Jacob's relationship with his daughter. It was for Jacob's own good, after all.

"He will walk the beach tonight, between the hours of five and six in the morning, as the medication will wear off before then. Perhaps... you could... accidentally... do the same... I can not promise that he will be in the mood to talk, as I find him extremely introspective during the night hours when he is unable to sleep."

Sam nodded quickly and whispered another thanks. Then she left the room swiftly leaving Selmak alone with her thoughts.

* * *

"General?" Daniel Jackson asked.

Hammond took another sip from his drink and he motioned to Daniel to sit down. The young archeologist did so quickly, and he waited patiently for Hammond to speak.

"I'm giving you another assignment," Hammond smiled briefly. "You are a trained observer on other cultures and you're damn good at it. I want you to find out more about the Tok'ra from Martouf, and in particular, I want you to give me as much information as you can on Selmak. What's rank does he hold? What influence? I want to know how he'll react in a given situation. Understand that all this might be for naught, as tomorrow we're probably packing for Cheyenne, but I want to know about Selmak's ethics and his personal moral code."

"The Tok'ra..." Daniel inserted.

"No, don't give me verbatim what they've told us. You observe, and you question. Don't let Martouf snow you with public relations spiel. I want your objective opinion on Selmak to me by tomorrow morning if possible. Most importantly, get Teal'c to get O'Neill away from Martouf."

"Is there anything questions in particular you want answered, General?" Jackson asked.

"One. If it's a choice between Selmak and Jacob, what's the symbiote's decision going to be?" Hammond's voice was deadly intense.

Daniel Jackson took a deep breath, and then he nodded. "I'm not sure exactly how I'll get that in the conversation, but I will try, General. But, I don't think that's a fair question to ask, because I'd know how I'd answer."

"Same here, Dr. Jackson," Hammond answered quietly.

Hammond was nursing his drink when Sam and Janet returned to the room.

"How's your father?" Hammond asked quietly.

"Asleep," Sam admitted. "I talked with Selmak, and...Janet's right, Selmak's defensive of my father. By that I mean, protective, Selmak's main concern is my father in this situation. I can't complain about that."

"If I may?" Janet interrupted, and continued when she earned a quick nod from Hammond. "I think Selmak's concern for Jacob overrides everything else for Selmak, including Selmak's own self-preservation."

"Doctor," Hammond questioned gingerly. "Do you know something about this situation that you wish to tell me?"

"No," Janet admitted circumspectly, as she couldn't breach patient confidentiality, but she needed to warn Hammond. "I have this feeling that there is a solution percolating in Selmak's mind to this entire situation, but that Selmak's not going to tell anyone what it is. Selmak's just going to do it, and I don't Jake Carter will have any idea what the true ramifications are."

"Is there an issue here with patient confidentiality, Doctor?" Hammond asked.

Janet winced, and Hammond sighed.

"Very well then, Doctor, or should I say, Major? Major Frasier, I am giving you a direct order that if that symbiote does anything that you believe may hurt Jacob Carter in any shape or form; you are to inform me immediately. Until then, I am requesting you keep both eyes on Jacob and his symbiote, as you appear to be the only person that the two of them can deal with in a calm, rational manner. I asked Teal'c and Doctor Jackson to also approach them so you three will be our main contacts with the symbiote."

"The symbiote's name is Selmak, sir," Frasier blurted. "That's a significant part of the problem here that no one is recognizing that Selmak is an individual, with a personality and emotions. Just because she isn't humanoid, doesn't mean that we should dismiss her as just a symbiote. We don't call Teal'c, "Jaffa"... do we? I mean, the Colonel treats Teal'c with respect, why is he having such a problem with Selmak?"

Hammond nodded. "I'm guilty of that, I admit that and it's probably the only reason I haven't told O'Neill to get the hell out of here. He's voicing what I'm feeling. It's just difficult for me to handle the fact that my closest friend has an alien.... I'm sorry... SELMAK... in his head."

* * *

It was several hours later that Selmak decided to sit on the porch. She wrapped herself in a blanket, making herself comfortable on the couch and then she watched the moonlight on the ocean. Making sure that she sensed no other presence, she took the pyramid out and then activated it. Originally it had been a children's toy but her first host Soran had modified it so that the mental imprints of a person's personality could be stored and reproduced as holograms.

Selmak blessed Soran's generosity every time she activated the pyramid because as the Eldest, Selmak had no one in which to confide in except for her hosts. This child's toy was almost the same as having her hosts with her...

It wasn't... really... but it was ... something at least....

"Selmak, who do you wish to speak with?" questioned Soran's pleasant female voice.

**_?Anyone.?_**

The male hologram that formed was transparent, but she sighed inwardly when she recognized which of her hosts it was. Not Jeralt, because Jeralt would have towered over the young man who was wearing a flight suite. Naturally, it had to be Jacob's avatar. He sat down next to her and glowered at her in his patented look of paternal disapproval.

"I'm not going to approve of this, Selmak. You know that," he said by way of starting the conversation.

**_?I know. But it's the only solution.?_**

"Your other hosts agreed, I know, but I disagree. Selmak, I'm going to be furious, you know that."

**_?Close connection. I wish to speak to another.?_**

Jacob's hologram gave her a blistering look of complete annoyance at her cavalier dismissal and then the hologram lengthened and flowed into another form.

"Beloved. You are in need of conversation?" questioned a light tenor.

**_?Yes, Norak. Jeralt. I find myself forlorn, and yearning to talk .?_**

"Know that we approve of your decision, though we wish that there was another way," Jeralt admitted. "Do not listen to his hologram. You have started the process?"

**_?Yes.?_**

"He'll notice, you know. You won't be able to hide what the medication is doing to you," the hologram reminded her.

**_?Please, I just wanted reassurance, not a lecture. Close connection.?_**

Norak and Jeralt whispered a soft farewell of love and support, and Selmak tried not to cry.

Why hadn't they let her die with Jana?

* * *

Jacob walked through his house. As always, he was in his dress blues.

"Why am I always wearing this? Can't I wear something comfortable for once?" He bitched. "It's my dream, dammit. Selmak? Do you want to talk to me?"

No answer. But he could smell chocolate cake, so he decided to meander to the kitchen. Perhaps Sel was sneaking a piece.

"Selmak, it's time to speak with Jacob," he called loudly. "Come out, come out, where ever you are!"

"Who's Selmak?" asked a familiar voice, "Is she female? Should I be worried about competition, Major Carter? But who'd be attracted to you, you never smile and you always are growling about something or other."

His heart lurched, and he spun around quickly. Annie Carter was leaning against the wall, and she had a very evil smile on her face.

"Annie?" Jacob asked in confusion. "Annie? Are you here?"

"Of course I'm here, this is MY house, remember?" his wife said. "Major Carter, I must admit that I really like a man in uniform. But I have a bigger confession."

"Which is?" Jake questioned in a teasing tone, even though he knew the answer.

His wife snuggled into his arms, and then she began undoing his tie.

"I prefer taking them out of it," she purred, as the two of them sank to the floor.

* * *

Selmak was watching the ocean when she felt her host's dream take a rather erotic turn. Unable to tune him out and powerless to sleep, Selmak wept as she thought about Jeralt, Jana and Norak and the two happiest years of her life. Why only two glorious years? Why couldn't she have had more time with them? At least Jacob had decades of memories with his Annie, while she had all of two.

One day, Jacob would ask her how long Norak and Jeralt had been dead, and she feared telling him exactly how long.

Four hundred or so of his years ago.

And she hadn't taken a lover in all that time... except for yesterday.

* * *

When Jake woke up, he was surprised to realize that he was lying on a couch on the porch that overlooked the ocean. The full moon was bright enough to read by, and Selmak was humming quietly in the back of his head.

"What time is it?" he asked sleepily even while he stretched. "Do you know, Sel?"

**_?Four thirty in the morning.?_**

"I slept... for almost twelve hours?" Jake questioned. "Remind me to thank Frasier. Did you sleep, Sel? You sound tired."

_**?I don't need as much sleep as you do. Did you have pleasant dreams, Jacob?**_

Jake smiled inwardly, "Yes, I had several very astonishing dreams. I haven't had such pleasant dreams in years..."

**_?I'm very glad.?_**

"Annie was in my dream," and then her host paused. "But you probably know that, don't you?"

**_?Does that thought bother you??_**

"Not at all," her host lied.

Hell yes was what he was thinking.

**_?I could sense that you were dreaming of her, and I didn't investigate further. Your dreams are your own; I have sworn to you that I will not pry. Do you not... believe... me? I ignored all your dreams last night.?_**

"I do, Sel, you know that. It's just... you're are female...and I'm male... and I'm... There's a quote by Charles Dement. 'Dreaming permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives'. I'm just uncomfortable..."

**_?I'm very sorry, Jacob. I have a request of you, my Tau'ri. Your daughter wants to talk to you, please do so. She should be out here in a few minutes, as she's going to pretend that she couldn't sleep and that she thought walking on the beach would help...?_**

"Oh God, Sel, I can't..."

**_?You need to, Jacob. She's been peeking out her bedroom window, watching you sleep here for the last two hours. I'm going to sleep now, so I won't arbitrate this. But you need to speak with her. She's worried about you.?_**

"What do I say to her? What do I say?"

**_?What's in your heart that you've been too afraid to say all these years, Jacob. Goodnight, my Jacob.?_**

He called for Selmak mentally for the next fifteen minutes, and his symbiote refused to answer. In fact, Selmak even affected a slight snore in the back of his mind.

**_Fine. Be like that! See if I care? You win!_**

No response.

Jacob sat up and stared at the ocean for a bit, inwardly grateful that Selmak hadn't witnessed his dreams too closely. The first dream had been a night of wild passion with Annie. The second dream had been quieter. It had been rather tender, two wounded souls trying to give their partner reassurance and comfort.

He was really glad that Selmak hadn't seen that dream.

After all how could he explain to Selmak that he had been making love with her?

After a few minutes of watching her father stare at the ocean, Samantha Carter buckled on her courage, and whispered a quick plea to her mother for help. Then quietly, stealthily she walked down the hallway, not that she needed to, as Daniel Jackson's snores were rather loud.

Sliding the glass door open to the porch, she coughed slightly to warn her father that she was there. He looked up from the couch and gave her a rather small smile.

"Selmak said you'd be here. Why don't we walk on the beach for a bit, kid?"


	6. Hit the Road, Jack

_**"Hit the Road, Jack"**_

_**Story:**_ The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

Part 6 Hit the Road, Jack 

**_Synopsis:_** Throw one cranky retired Air Force Major General by the name of Carter into a life-changing event, put an alien in his head that can not only read his mind but also is female to boot and watch what happens.

When we last left our heroine and her cranky host, Selmak had threatened Jack O'Neill's life. Now Samantha Carter must cautiously reached out to Selmak, hoping to support her father.

**_Rating: PG-13_** – Naughty Selmak and Naughty Jake swear, swear, swear!

**_Notes: ?Bold Italics?_** Means Selmak is talking/thinking so Jacob can hear her.

* * *

Sliding the glass door open to the porch, Samantha Carter coughed slightly to warn the motionless figure sitting alone on the couch that she was there. Her father, Jacob, looked at her and he gave her a small, crooked smile. 

"Selmak predicted that you'd be here, and Sel's right as always. Why don't we walk on the beach for a bit, kid?"

Her father's quiet voice was affectionate and even... surprisingly tender, and Sam sighed mentally in heartfelt relief. At least Jake wasn't the angry hostile stranger he had been earlier; instead he was the man that she remembered from her earliest childhood memories, before her mother had died, and Jacob had pushed her away.

_**Come on, kid. Pedal. Pedal. You can do it!**_

Sam nodded once.

"I'd like that," she admitted. "Very much."

The two Carters were quiet for a bit, each afraid to say anything and they walked from the porch to the beach in silence, with only the noise being that of the waves crashing upon the shore. After ten or so minutes, Jacob broke the silence first.

"I still wish you weren't here, Sam. Nothing would make me happier than you not watching this."

That casual comment hurt her deeply, and Sam nodded her head, "I know, but I couldn't leave you alone."

"I'm not alone," Jake reminded her. "I have my very own inner snake, as Jack would say. Why does your CO hate Selmak so much? He's so xenophobic that I'm honestly shocked that he tolerates Teal'c."

Sam blinked rapidly, and she shook her head. "I think he's a lot like you. He's afraid of not being in control, and I believe that Teal'c is a special case for O'Neill. Junior, his symbiote, doesn't talk and Junior... isn't as communicative as Selmak..."

"You can say **_mouthy_**, Sammy, it's ok. Selmak is very **_sassy_**," Jake said deadpan. "You should hear what Selmak says that I won't repeat, especially in reference to O'Neill."

Sam shrugged her shoulders and then she gave her father a fierce grimace for trying to joke about the current situation.

"**_Talkative_**," Sam stressed. "So it's easy for O'Neill to ignore him. I don't think he hates Selmak so much as he's just afraid of the entire concept. The SGC has dealt with Goa'ulds and well...Jolinar. Jolinar didn't make many friends when she was among us."

"Jolinar was a child," Jacob answered. "She was in over her head in that situation. Jolinar was terrified as she was cut off from her race and an Ashrak was after her. O'Neill shouldn't damn an entire race of sentient life forms because of something Jolinar did. Selmak and the others would not have handled the situation that way."

Her father's ready defense of Jolinar unnerved Sam slightly.

"Well, Jolinar terrified _**me**_," Sam blurted.

Jacob nodded, "I can imagine."

Then Sam explained to her father how Hathor had arrived at the base and caused complete chaos. Jake's smile broadened as she gave him the g-rated version and finally he burst out laughing.

"You knocked out _**George**_?" Jake laughed.

"Yes. We had to because Hathor had turned every male in the base into these lovesick puppy dogs that were following her around. They had their tongues hanging out of their mouth," Sam explained.

"Well, you don't need to worry, Sammy. If Selmak decides to turn the SGC into her love slaves, and George tries to kiss me, I'll be screaming the loudest," Jake's voice was dry and then he started laughing again. "You knocked George out? And you've still got a career? He's certainly mellowed."

"I got a medal," Sam pointed out in some asperity. "But Hathor also did a lot of damage. She tried to make Daniel her Pharaoh."

Jake stopped laughing, and he had a sick expression on his face. "I know what that entails. You don't have to explain anything more."

"She also tried to turn O'Neill in a Jaffa. We found him sitting in the hot tub, zoned out to the gills, and all these larvae floating around him, trying to get into his... pouch." Sam shuddered. "He's been rather anti-Goa'uld since then."

"You had a sarcophagus around? I'm assuming that O'Neill is womb-less," Jake turned serious. "That's the only way I know to fix that Jaffa-initiation process. You've got to be careful with the sarcophaguses, they're addicting and they take part of your humanity in the process whenever you use it."

"It got destroyed," Sam admitted. "There was also an incident where O'Neill got infected with this... group consciousness... for the lack of a better word. They nearly destroyed the base until we figured out what they wanted."

"Thank God," Jake said. "I don't think Earth is ready for a sarcophaguses. Ok, I can understand _**why**_ O'Neill doesn't like the _**Goa'uld**_, but I'm getting tired of his antagonism. Anyway, did George tell you that I thought you did this to me on purpose?"

Her father's question startled Sam and she began to stutter a response, wanting to ask why he could believe that, and yet understanding instinctively why her father had thought it.

"I thought that perhaps you had decided to blend me with Selmak so every old wound I had would be ripped open again. You know, you'd get your pound of flesh by making sure I relived the worse experiences of my life over and over again, and then have me explain them repeatedly to a thousand year old alien."

"Dad, how could you say that?" Sam protested.

"Because it has been absolute hell for me," Jake admitted. "You have only the barest insight into my situation, Sammy."

Sam nodded her head and tried to find something, anything to say to her father. Jacob was reaching out to her, hands extended, almost begging for her help, and she didn't have the faintest idea of how to bridge the gap.

For a moment, Sam heard her mother's voice.

_**Selmak. You need to acknowledge Selmak who is now an intrinsic part of Jake. Selmak cares for Jacob, and I know your father is concerned for Selmak so use that.**_

"Is Selmak... here?" Her whispered question was almost... pathetic.

Jake just looked at his daughter and he wore an odd smile.

"Why don't you ask Selmak? Sam, you've never acknowledged Selmak up till now. I'm rather surprised as you, Martouf and Lantesh seem... chummy," Jake questioned.

"You haven't introduced me yet," Samantha reminded her father. "But then again, when I have had more than two seconds to talk to you?"

Jake Carter nodded his head in defeat.

"You're right," Jacob admitted dryly. "I didn't introduce you to Selmak, but it's been... interesting... these past few weeks."

"Selmak? Are you listening?" Samantha asked softly.

Jake grinned and shook his head. "Sleeping. Snoring slightly in my head, in fact, which means that Sel's deliberately tuning us out as Selmak never snores."

"What's Selmak like, Dad?" His daughter questioned. "Jolinar's memories... aren't the clearest... yet I think Jolinar and Rosha seemed... intimidated by Selmak. Martouf and Lantesh also seem... in awe of Selmak."

"Selmak's very daunting," Jake admitted. "Breathes fires, and intimidates all the little Tok'ras, all that stuff. Even the indomitable Garshaw is scared secretly when Selmak gets annoyed. I guess that means we're a very good match, as it's been documented that Jacob Carter breathes fire and eats airman for breakfast."

Her father tilted his head, and he smiled an odd little smile again.

"Selmak's being very well behaved or else Sel's really asleep as normally, I'd get a Selmak Sunday Special across the noggin for that type of comment," Jake laughed fondly. "Sometimes, Selmak gives me... love taps for the lack of a better description, especially when I'm being irreverent. Or when I'm really depressed... Selmak whacks me a few times."

"You sound like you like Selmak," Samantha questioned, trying to keep to a safe subject, as she was uncertain about Jake's reaction if she commented on his depression.

Jake walked a few feet and then he stopped.

"I do; Sel saved my life, Sammy," Jake reminded her.

"More than that," Sam prodded.

"Selmak has an interesting perspective, perhaps because Selmak's so .... _**Old**_...." Again the head tilt and the slight smile, "But maybe, it's because Selmak reminds me of your mother."

"Really?" Samantha asked. "How so?"

"Selmak is always reassuring me that no matter how badly I fuck everything up, it's not my fault," Jake admitted. "Your mother forgave everything I ever did to her, especially when I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Both of them are far more compassionate that I deserve."

After that comment, the two Carters walked the beach in silence until the sunrise began to brighten the sky.

The two of them walked back to the house, and Jake sighed, "They should be waking up soon, I should see what's in the kitchen. Though I don't understand why I should care if they have breakfast, it wasn't like I invited them. So I'll make something for you, George and Janet. The rest can starve."

Samantha smiled briefly, as she knew damn well that her father wouldn't do that, in spite of his fierce growls to the contrary. "You're cooking, Dad?"

"I can't let you cook; you might kill the entire bunch. I simply cannot believe that you can't boil water, Sam. You were so good at making cookies," Jake said in a deadpan voice. "Well, most of the time your cookies were edible. I just can't comprehend why you can't cook. You must be missing the cooking gene."

"Because your tastes are a little advanced for me," Sam retorted, inwardly happy that the two of them were back to the time-honored, extremely familiar subject of 'Carter Cooking'. It was a long established pseudo dispute between the two of them, as Jake was a respectable cook and Sam... well...Sam made really good cookies.

Well. **_Usually_**. If she didn't get distracted.

"Think Selmak would like to bake cookies with me?" Samantha asked her father.

"Sel might," Jake admitted. "You can ask Selmak."

"So what's for breakfast? Oatmeal? Good stick to your ribs meal?" Sam questioned in a bogus serious tone.

Her father grimaced dramatically, as he loathed oatmeal.

"Thinking omelets, French toast, whatever is in the fridge," her father announced. "I think there's potatoes and sausage."

"Potatoes ala Jake?" Sam asked as she licked her lips in mock anticipation. "I haven't had those in years..."

"Possibly," Jake admitted slyly.

Shit. He's making the apology breakfast, Sam groaned inwardly. Her father was the only person she knew of that could turn mealtime into an act of contrition.

Jake never really apologized for the disagreements they had when she was growing up, nor had she, but the next morning, he'd make breakfast. Pancakes, French Toast, omelets... had often shown up like clockwork, but Potatoes ala Jake... they were reserved for the big apologies. Much like leaving a large bag of chocolate, chocolate chip cookies on his briefcase had been her special way of apologizing to him.

Sam was about to comment on the meal, when Jake smiled.

"Ah, so you're wide awake now, sleepyhead?" Jake's soft voice was very affectionate. "Selmak, I haven't introduced you to my daughter yet. Sammy says if you're interested, she'll show you how to bake cookies later. The Tok'ra don't have much in the way of cuisine," he said to Sam by way of explanation.

Jake nodded his head, and then Selmak was looking intently at Sam.

"My host is especially fond of the chocolate ones with the little chocolate pieces and the nuts. I think he's craving some so perhaps you might want to make them. What we do to keep Jacob happy."

Sam laughed softly, then louder.

"He's always requesting the chocolate chocolate chips cookies," Sam admitted. "It's nice to finally meet you now that you've blended with my father, Selmak."

"And you, also," Selmak commented softly as both of them had respectively decided not to mention to Jake that they had talked the previous night.

Then Selmak nodded his head and her father was smiling at Sam. A real honest to God smile, complete with dimples.

"All I want is for Selmak to be acknowledged as a living, breathing individual," her father remarked. "It's such a small thing, but so insurmountable for some people."

* * *

Selmak was purring softly in his mind, apparently delighted that he and Sam had a real conversation and he ignored her as making the perfect omelet required intense concentration. Not too hot a pan, not too cold, swish the eggs mix... The campers were strolling into the kitchen in various stages of alertness, but Janet Frasier, no surprise, was bright eyed, bubbly and perky. 

Ok, so she was on her second cup of French Pressed coffee, but she was at least making small talk, and handling the awesome responsibilities of cooking Potatoes ala Jake with her normal composure, unlike Daniel Jackson who apparently needed an IV of coffee before he could coherently string two words or more together. To Jacob's right, Sam was energetically chopping assorted ingredients, as while she couldn't cook, she didn't mind cutting up the recipe components.

George had greeted Jake warmly as though nothing was amiss and as though yesterday had never occurred. Then, to Jake's surprise, George also had acknowledged Selmak. All that occurred before George had his first cup of coffee, which was extremely abnormal. Jake knew from personal experience that George never spoke to anyone until his caffeine levels had skyrocketed.

"So, George," Jake questioned, in the too quiet kitchen as though everyone was anxiously waiting for Selmak to whip out her hand device and turn them all into human omelets complete with parsley garnish. "Did you ever tell Sammy how we met?"

"No," George answered. "You told me not to mention to your daughter how well I knew you. I think you threatened me into not mentioning it."

"I remember meeting you," Sam piped in, trying to ease the slight tension she sensed still existed between the two men. "I just didn't realize it was you until a few days ago as I had to look at my mom's photo albums."

"Which time?" Hammond questioned easily. "I met you several times over the years. Once, when you were... four? She had pigtails then, Jake."

George looked at Jake who confirmed the age and the haircut while Sammy squirmed as O'Neill made a gesture by his head that looked like pigtails.

"Anyway, Sammy, there was this red-headed junior office," Jake said in a very light tone, inwardly vowing to be as entertaining, witty and non-threatening as possible, "Who once was at Cheyenne but got transferred to Eglin. They decided to give him to me, and the first thing he does, not even ten minutes up in air, is proceed to send the plane back to the taxpayers in a hundred billion little pieces."

"Dr. Jackson, Carter's saying that I crashed the plane. But I didn't, because as Carter knows perfectly damn well, it was _**an electrical short**_," roared Hammond playfully. "I've memorized the reports as they exonerated both of us, especially the crazy pilot, who did a double barrel roll trying to get his junior office to toss his cookies, that the problem was an electrical short."

"Anyway, he crashes the plane," Jake said loudly over George's protestations to the contrary, "George, who's telling the story? You or me? A double barrel roll? Next you're gonna tell everyone I was doing a yo-yo or jinking. Please, would I do that in an Air Force jet with a brand new j.o.? Anyway, where was I?"

"Hammond crashed the plane," inserted O'Neill helpfully. His helpfulness earned the Evil Eye from Hammond, to which O'Neill promptly shrugged his shoulders.

"Oh yes, so we eject, and we end up in the Florida wilderness for two days. He's got a head injury and he's rambling about how he's never gonna make General..." Jake looked at George with an evil smile. "How the hell did you know you were gonna make General, George?"

"Figured if you could make two stars, anybody could," George answered easily. "But actually a blonde hair, blue eyed gypsy told me that I was going to make General. I doubted it secretly until they pinned the stars on my shoulders. Then I realized that maybe she was right but I'm still waiting for everything else she predicted to come true."

"So he had a head injury, and he's blaming assorted Captain Carters for all his job-related troubles. Who's the other Captain Carter?" Jake bantered easily. "You never did tell me."

"Someone I met... way back in sixty nine. Didn't see Carter again for a while, and when I did, I almost didn't recognize the Captain as it had been almost thirty years," Hammond admitted. "Carter's a lot like you, Jake, got me into trouble and out of it more times that I can count. You two must be related."

"You get yourself into your own messes, I was the one hopping along on a bum ankle trying to stop you. George, do you really think that having that illegal poker night was a good idea? The night before the President was supposed to visit the base? You knew that the MP's would be doing sweeps, man."

"You won all the money," George reminded Jake.

"Yes, and when the MPs busted the game, everybody was able to flee, except for me, because I had my foot in a cast," Jake retorted. "The MPs felt sorry for me, and wanted a split of the proceeds, so they drove me home because Hammond had abandoned me."

"You told me to run for the hills, Carter," Hammond growled. "But whose idea was it to put the Great Dane into a flight suit?"

* * *

Janet Frasier motioned to Sam to move closer to her even as she flipped more Potatoes ala Jake into the serving dish. She leaned over and spoke softly into Sam's ear. 

"I am so glad that I didn't know those boys when they were younger. They must have been holy terrors," Janet said in a very dry tone. "I can't believe they did that to a dog."

"I didn't know any of this about my father. I mean I know he shattered his ankle and that injury kept him out of astronaut training, but illegal poker games? And I certainly don't believe that they put their commanding officer's Great Dane into a flight suit," Sam admitted. "And the itching powder in that guy's flight suit? That's just down right cruel."

The two women looked at Sam's father and Hammond, who were both telling extremely tall tales about the trouble the other one had dragged him into.

"So the two of us went out drinking one night in Seoul because Jake was in town. This is right before I joined the Stargate program, and the next morning we woke up in Tokyo, surrounded by thirty geishas, all of who are smirking at us. I still don't have the faintest idea how the hell we ended in Tokyo and why those women were leering at us but I really hope my late wife forgives me," Hammond explained to a secretly impressed Jack O'Neill, who would never have believed that the straight-laced Hammond had been involved in such a stunt as it was almost something he would have done.

"Carter gets me into more scrapes than everybody else I know."

"Sam," Janet said cautiously, "Please keep an eye on your father. He's endeavoring extremely hard right now to prove to everyone that's Selmak and he are_** compos mentis**_."

The blonde looked at her father who was now teasing Hammond about his strange fascination for omelets with chili peppers and Tabasco sauce, and she nodded once. Yes, Jake Carter was putting on an Oscar winning performance, trying to prove his sanity to one and to all.

"Hammond knows exactly what Dad is doing. He is going along with it, because they're telling tall tales about old times, and keeping away from any ... **_risky_**... topics. Do you think the others know?" Sam questioned.

"I don't think so, they're probably chalking it up to the fact that your father actually slept for twelve hours last night," Janet decided. "I think they're just happy they're having a real meal and decent coffee. Your father's a first-rate cook, Sam, but he must be fibbing about geishas liking balding American generals.

"My dad can cook, and I can't," Sam admitted easily not wanting to even think about her father and George Hammond with thirty-four geishas, as it was a quick, one-way trip to complete and utter madness. "But I make really good cookies."

"Sam, I've tasted your cookies," Janet reminded her.

* * *

Martouf stared doubtfully at the food on his plate. Jake Carter tapped him on the shoulder and then Selmak spoke to him in length in Tok'ra-ese, explaining what everything was. 

"Ah!" Martouf said in joyful comprehension. "I was not sure as I have not eaten much of this planet's cuisine. None of this looks familiar to me."

Jake sighed in disgust. "What the hell did O'Neill do to you? Did you just eat at McDonald's on your cross country tour of his?"

"Yes, I had many a Happy Meal," Martouf said in delight. Then his face fell. "They did not give me happiness though."

"Nor I," admitted Teal'c in a tone that would have sounded like a long-suffering sigh if it had been anyone but the Jaffa who had voiced it.

Jake sighed again and gave O'Neill a blistering glare of disapproval.

"McDonalds, O'Neill? Are you trying to kill them? George? Do I have an expenditure account as the Tok'ra Liaison?" Jake asked. "I must have one."

"Waiting on the paperwork, Jake. But you're drawing a salary at least," George commented easily.

"Well, tonight, Martouf, I'll take everyone to Chiaki's, my treat," Jake decided. "It'll be good to see old Shocky Chiaki again."

"Chiaki's got a place here? I didn't know that," Hammond asked. "How is ole Shock doing?"

"About an hour from here, so make sure the children are dressed properly, as I don't want Chiaki to refuse to serve them. He's someone I dealt with regularly when I was in Japan and he's very traditional, Sam. There were some problems with some airmen which I had to resolve, and I kept in touch with him over the years," Jake explained to his daughter. "If the food is anything like he used to prepare, it'll make up for all that garbage you've been swilling the last few days. So George can call and increase the number on the reservation, as I was planning on just treating him."

"Once again, I'm doing Carter's dirty work," Hammond sighed in mock protest.

* * *

Breakfast went well, until Daniel Jackson's caffeine level had reached acceptable levels. Then he started asking questions. 

"Selmak, I am curious," Daniel questioned. "What do you think of Earth?"

Selmak took over her host's body and she answered slowly, "I was born here. I am cognizant of how it has changed significantly since that time. It is... pleasing... to be back on my home world."

"You were born here?" asked Daniel in disbelief.

"Yes, my Code is Life is Tau'ri based," Selmak replied, a trifle apprehensively as she noticed O'Neill's uneasy look.

Daniel Jackson turned a sickly green at that comment, and Selmak thought that he whispered, "_Hathor"_ in a quiet voice literally dripping with embarrassment.

Martouf rushed in to defend Selmak, "Yes, Selmak is the only Tok'ra who has the blood of Tau'ri in her veins. The Council thought it promising that Jacob shared the same Code, as though a mountain river returning to its ocean source."

Silence reigned while everyone tried to reason what the hell actually Martouf meant by that comment. It was no doubt deeply profound, but it was still far too early in the morning to even contemplate a shallow philosophical thought, as opposed to a deep thought. Naturally the person who decided to fill the silence was the worse possible soul.

O'Neill perked up, "Visit here often?"

"No," Selmak responded shortly. "I have not been on this world in some time."

"How long ago?" Jack asked. "Did you get to Disney at least?"

Hammond shook his head in disapproval and he kicked O'Neill under the table. HARD.

"There was a ruler by the name of ... Numa Pompilius. Egeria advised him, and I met with him several times. He was rather short and crude, I seem to recall, but supportive of our cause, never the less. Egeria was extremely fond of him."

Numan Pompilius's name earned a choking session from Daniel Jackson. O'Neill pounded him on the back until Jackson was able to speak again.

"Thanks Jack, I think you broke a rib there," he said sarcastically. "I'm sorry Selmak, you said... Numa Pompilius?"

"I did..." Selmak said warily, as she recognized that increasing tension in the room. "You know of him?"

"He ruled before the formation of the Roman Republic... he's from... 700 B.C.... you knew him? He was the second ruler of Rome after Romulus." Jackson explained to the abruptly silent crowd. "He married Egeria who was one of the Camenae, goddesses of the springs, wells and fountains. Were you one of the **_Camenae? _**How old are you?"

With an almost audible pop, Selmak returned control of the body to an annoyed looking Jacob Carter.

"Daniel, don't you know it's considered extremely boorish to comment about someone's age?" Jake snarled as he threw down his napkin. "But to answer your question, Selmak's not one of the Camenae. Those Tok'ra are long since dead. Anyone want more coffee?"

To give credit where it is due, Jacob Carter attempted, truly he did, to sound pleasant when he asked if anyone wanted more coffee. Sadly, it came out more like, "Does anyone want boiling hot coffee poured in their laps?"

"I'll take some," George reacted quickly, realizing that the Selmak-Carter-O'Neill situation was once again about to blow sky high.

Then O'Neill piped up. "I'd say... Selmak's at least 2,700 years old, Daniel."

"Thanks, Jack," Daniel answered in a very quiet voice.

"No problem, I know you have problems with your higher math," O'Neill commented.

* * *

Jake poured George's coffee recklessly, only instinctively preventing himself from overfilling the cup. 

"Anyone else?" he questioned.

No response, as everyone was still reeling from the latest tidbit on Selmak, Tok'ra Senior Citizen.

"Traditionally, when I make breakfast, I don't do the dishes, so you'll handle it?" Jack commented to the world at large.

"Sure, I'll do them," Daniel Jackson offered. "Martouf, do you want to help?"

"Assuredly," Martouf answered eagerly.

"Ok, George, please make the arrangements for Chiaki's, if there are any problems let me know. I'm thinking three might be a good time. Beat the lunch crowd and it's too early for dinner?" Jake asked.

"Sounds good," George answered.

"Very well then," Jake answered.

He put the coffee pot down and then left the kitchen at a rather fast walk, as he needed to talk to Selmak, who had just wrapped herself around his brainstem, as though wanting a hug. Her previously good mood had disappeared to be replaced by an occasional soft mental whimper about how she always upset the Tau'ri.

Soon he had returned to his bedroom, and he was locking the door behind him. Thinking upwards and inwards, Jake found himself... in the same room. But in his king size bed, there was easily thirty-seven blankets covering a very large lump... as though someone was hiding beneath them.

No matter how many times Selmak explained it to him, and no matter how many single syllable words she used, he never understood this mental interface between the two of them. Selmak appeared human because it was the easiest way for him to view her, he understood THAT, but did Selmak see him as a symbiote?

_**Sel? You there? Yoo hoo?**_

No answer, but he knew exactly who it was, perhaps because the figure was trembling in time to his racing heartbeat.

Fortunately, Selmak didn't hog the bed, so he could crawl in next to her. Pulling the covers over his head, he wiggled closer to her.

Yup – the body in the bed was Sel, which was reassuring, as for just a moment, he thought Sel had decided to dump O'Neill's body in a safe spot where no one would ever find him.

_**Hey. Think you can uncover your face before we both asphyxiate?**_

Selmak shook her head, and Jake sighed. Sometimes, dealing with Sel was like dealing with a fourteen year old Sammy. Samantha had crawled underneath her blankets and refused to speak to him when he had haltingly explained the facts of life to her. "_**Well, you see, there are bad male bees... and good male bees, and the bad bees like commando raids on the innocent bee queen... by getting her liquored up.., and into the backseat of a Chevy..."**_

**_?I never say anything right to them, do I? I escalate the situation over and over again. Among the Tok'ra, they do not react to such discussions as the Tau'ri do.?_**

**_Finding out that you're... older than we expected is a little nerve wracking. I never really asked you how old you were, I just thought you were... maybe... fifteen hundred or so... but...._**

**_?I am twice that...?_**

Jake whistled. Talk about your May - December relationships, he thought, though in this case, it was more of a New Year's Day-Christmas relationship.

_**I thought Tok'ra hosts' life spans were maybe... a maximum of two hundred years? You haven't had fifteen or more hosts... you just had a few.**_

_**?It depends on many different factors. Jana was four hundred or so, Soran was ... a thousand or so...?**_

_**A THOUSAND?!?!? Like in ONE TRIPLE ZERO??????**_

_**?We did not realize the effects of the sarcophagus at first...?**_

It was getting easier to sense Selmak's emotions as time went on. No longer was Selmak an impassive, all seeing, all knowing mental hitchhiker, now Jake could sense flickers of Selmak's pain and endless grief and an overwhelming longing for reassurance.

_**Come on, Sel. It'll be all right, soon enough. You'll be rid of me, and you'll have a wonderful new host and you won't have to deal with the Terrible Tau'ris any more. Everything will be just fine in a few weeks... just hold on, Sel...**_

Selmak was sniffling. Why did he have this god-given ability to distress the women that he cared for? Annie, Sammy, Selmak....

**_Come on, don't cry, Sel. Please don't. It'll be better soon. You won't have to deal with O'Neill soon. Please, just don't cry._**

Tenderly, he held Selmak against him, and he let her cry herself to sleep. Sometimes, it was the only thing he could think to do.

* * *

"O'Neill," Teal'c questioned later that morning. 

"Yes, T, what can I do for you?" Jack asked. He had his sunglasses on and he was staring at the beach, daydreaming about fishing in the crystal blue waters.

"I fail to understand your continual antagonism of Selmak and Jacob Carter. Please explain," Teal'c stated. "Of all the Tau'ri I have dealt with, I thought you and the others would be the ones that would treat them with honor and respect. Yet, you have made comments that on Chulak if spoken to Bra'tac, would have caused you to be challenged to the circle. You would have remained there until you recanted your statements or Bra'tac had killed you. Fortunately for you, we are not on Chulak."

Jack O'Neill nodded his head back and forth as he was still mentally casting his fishingline. "That is a good question, Teal'c."

"I am awaiting your answer, O'Neill. I do not understand your contempt for Jacob Carter and Selmak. Jacob Carter served your military admirably for many years, and is a contemporary of General Hammond while Selmak appears to be a highly honorable Tok'ra," Teal'c nodded his head once.

"I just don't trust Selmak," Jack O'Neill answered quickly. "While everyone might be willing to hug that old lady snake and accept her, I don't trust Selmak. I don't trust the Tok'ra."

"Why?" Teal'c questioned.

"Jacob wanted to leave, and the Tok'ra wouldn't let him. He wanted to come home because it was the anniversary of his wife's death, and the Tok'ra wouldn't let him, Teal'c. They didn't even posses enough humanity to let the man come through the gate for that," O'Neill spat.

"It would be easier if we were all like you," Teal'c answered somberly. "You and I do not share the same ethics, especially since your planet has been peaceful for so long. The Tok'ra have been at war for almost two thousand years, perhaps they view that act of kindness as a luxury that they could not afford. Perhaps they were fearful of putting Selmak at risk."

"We might not share the same ethics, Teal'c, but you and I are closer in our moral code then they are. You heard what General Hammond said that the council was thinking of breaking the bond between Jacob Carter and the snake. Teal'c, you and I know you don't leave people behind. Jacob was one of ours; damn it, and we left him with the Tok'ra. And he had no way to contact us, no way to leave them and he has a snake in his head that might decide that the easiest way to handle the situation is to kill Jacob."

"I do not believe that Selmak would allow any harm to come to Jacob Carter," Teal'c protested. "Selmak brought Jacob Carter through the gate, against the expressed desires of the Tok'ra Council. For that reason, I believe that we must trust Selmak."

"For that reason, I saw that we can't trust the snake, because if Snaky Selmak went against the Council one time, how do we know that Selmak might change its mind again? What authority has given Snaky Selmak the right to decide for Jacob Carter?"

"If I were Jacob Carter, would you treat me as you have him?" Teal'c asked.

Jack gave Teal'c a long look.

"The question is moot. You're not Jacob Carter, and Junior isn't Selmak. You were there at breakfast; the snake is almost three thousand years old. Selmak has taken complete control of Jacob numerous times, doesn't that sound rather... Goa'uldish?"

"It sounds to me that Selmak has not revealed everything to us. Only then when we comprehend everything, can we truly judge," Teal'c announced in his no-nonsense tone.

"Well, while everyone is hugging the snake and singing "Kum By Yah", somebody's got to be ready for when she turns on us," Jack said strongly. "That'll be me."

* * *

"General?" Daniel Jackson questioned softly as he called into the library. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I finally got a chance to speak with Martouf and Lantesh." 

Hammond nodded and he put his book down after saving his spot. He knew perfectly darn well that with everything going on, he'd never finish the book, let alone comprehend what he was reading, but George always read on vacation, and therefore, he was going to read on this one.

"Come in, I'm rather anxious to hear your report," Hammond admitted. "Why don't you close the door behind you, I'd prefer if we kept this confidential."

Jackson nodded once, and then he sat down, but not before running his hand through his hair.

Hammond noticed the nervous gesture, and his heart sank.

"I couldn't get a lot from Lantesh and Martouf. They're getting a little... **_troubled_**... with the O'Neill-Selmak dynamics," Daniel advised George. "Teal'c was going to talk to Jack about his problems with Selmak, but I'm not sure if Teal'c will inform you about their discussion. The confidentiality issue, you understand."

"Understood," Hammond answered shortly. "What information were you able to get from the Tok'ra, Daniel?"

Daniel shook his head, "I think we've got problems with the Tok'ra. Significant problems, General. Selmak's decision to bring Sam's father home broke every damn rule in the Tok'ra handbook, except for one."

"Which one didn't Selmak break?" George questioned.

"Selmak never answers to the Council apparently, as ... the Eldest," Jackson made quotation marks with his graceful hands to denote Selmak's title, "Selmak can override the Council, but Selmak hasn't chosen to do that in ... several thousand years apparently."

Daniel shook his head, "It's so hard to say that, you know? Several thousand years. Our life span is just a nap for him."

"I understand, but you're telling me that because Selmak overruled the Council, they're having... a temper tantrum?" Hammond questioned, trying to get Jackson back on track. Daniel was a good man, but he got sidetracked easily.

"No, it's not that. It's because Selmak didn't overrule the Council, so much as Selmak just ignored them. Did Jacob ever mention how he got out of the Tok'ra tunnels? The impression I got was that the Tok'ra wouldn't let him leave, but somehow he got out," Daniel's voice was rather intense.

"Jacob never told me how he got out. I don't even think he knows," George commented.

Daniel nodded his head, "Lantesh said that Selmak had agreed to keep Jacob there, and then Selmak then just walked out of the tunnels to the Chappa'ai. They had posted guards to keep Selmak and Jacob from leaving, but Selmak just sauntered up to the sentries, and said, "I'm leaving," and they let Selmak and Jacob go. Apparently, the sentries just turned their backs so they didn't see Selmak leave."

"Selmak has a lot of clout, apparently," Hammond commented.

"Yes, Selmak does. It seems that after Selmak's incident with Ra's Jaffas, Selmak became very much involved with teaching the younger Tok'ras, such as Martouf and the others. That's the crux of the problems; I believe because Jacob was having difficulties adjusting to the Tok'ras got offended. I mean, Selmak is extremely respected and very much a symbol of their race. It must be akin to someone spitting in the eye of George Washington or Gandhi."

"And yet, Selmak helped Jacob by leaving the compound," Hammond interjected softly. "Are you telling me that there is concern among the Tok'ra that Jacob has... corrupted... Selmak?"

"Possibly," Jackson admitted. "Martouf mentioned that Selmak had changed after being 'blended'."

"How so?" George asked.

"Selmak became very reticent."

"That's one of Jacob's strongest characteristics, he keeps his emotions to himself," the general informed Daniel. "Besides being very protective."

"Yes," Daniel agreed. "Selmak was already rather legendary about being protective of his hosts, but Martouf believes that Selmak has become increasingly so since blending with Jacob. It's not unusual, as both Martouf and Lantesh admit that their personalities have changed due to their blending, in that they balance each other's extremes. Lantesh is more emotional while Martouf is somewhat reserved, so between the two of them, they have achieved a balance."

"But in this case, we have two rather opinionated, mulish, overly protective individuals who have only become more so," George sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "And they're both feeling an obscene amount of pressure from all sides, which is making them more tense."

"Selmak has refused to let anyone criticize Jacob's evolution to becoming a Tok'ra, stating that it would take time for it to occur. Martouf is concerned... that the Tok'ra may want to shatter our alliance, due to our inability to accept the Tok'ra. We had problems with Jolinar and now Selmak, and the Tok'ra Council is very worried," Daniel admitted.

"We don't really have an alliance with them yet," Hammond drawled. "But Jacob and Selmak were supposed to be a starting point."

"Yes... "

Hammond thought for a few minutes, and then he sighed.

"Do you trust Selmak with Jacob? Based on what you know, I'd like an honest opinion," George asked the young man.

"I know that both Martouf and Lantesh trust Jacob with Selmak and I believe that Selmak will protect Jacob as much as he can, but I'm concerned about one small thing. Selmak may not tell us what he's doing, he'll just go ahead and do what he thinks is best," Daniel admitted. "Martouf is concerned about that also."

"Dear God, I have a three thousand year old alien who's a loose cannon, plus O'Neill who can't keep his mouth shut." George pondered that comment for a moment, and he made his decision, tomorrow, O'Neill was returning to Cheyenne. After his conversation with both Drs. Frasier and Jackson, it was the only way he could think of keeping Jack O'Neill alive.

* * *

While Jacob Carter was deeply asleep, his symbiote wasn't. Selmak was busy setting her affairs in order and deciding what needed to be done. Jacob was talking to his daughter again. Selmak had been delighted how well the conversation had gone as she had been eavesdropping through out it. Now... she just had to fix his relationship with George that had been warped and damaged by her participation. 

Her mental housekeeping disturbed her host's sleep but fortunately, she had noticed the telltale signs that Jake was rousing, and Selmak managed to hide the traces of what she was doing.

So when Jacob woke up, and mentally queried for her, she informed him mischievously that she was busy dressing. That thought embarrassed him, as she knew it would, so it gave her a few more minutes to compose herself. Even after Selmak assured Jacob sweetly that she was presentable, Jacob's discomfort caused him to fail repeatedly to hit the 'sweet spot' where the two of them could interface directly.

Finally, Jacob stood behind her, looking at her in confusion as she pinned her hair up.

_**Kimono? You're wearing a kimono now?**_

_**?You're planning on wearing your suit, so I figured it was a fancy dress occasion. ?**_

Jacob placed his hands on her shoulders, and he gently caressed the silk of the kimono with his thumbs. Only by sternly chastising herself did Selmak prevent herself from purring in delight, as truthfully, she did enjoy the sensation of being touched.

**_I wish you came with instructions... but I have to ask...is there any particular reason you picked that exact fabric and pattern?_**

Jacob's mental voice was strained, and Selmak turned to face him.

_**?Have I done something wrong? When you were thinking of Chiaki, you thought of this material. I don't know why you did, but I thought it was pretty.?**_

_**Ah... it's... I bought Annie a kimono in that particular color, when I was first stationed in Japan.**_

_**?I'll change it! Immediately!!?**_

_**No.. no... don't...it goes well with your coloring, which is why I got it for her. You have the same general complexion, and you look good in it. It gives you color... you really don't have to change it, Sel.**_

Selmak concentrated intently, and the fabric turned a darker shade even while the delicate flower pattern changed to cranes.

_**?I thought I should get 'dressed' for dinner... I did not mean to upset you.?**_

Her host put his arms around her, and he kissed her on her cheek.

_**I was just shocked that you picked that particular fabric, that's all. Now, I have another question for you, can I drink alcohol tonight? Just a few or will that affect you? Chiaki and I traditionally have a few drinks when we meet.**_

_**?It won't bother me at all, you drink as much as you like.?**_ Selmak promised.

**_Thank you._**

Jacob broke the mental link between the two of them, and he shook his head. He had seen a thousand or more kimonos in different colors during his multiple tours in Japan, how did Selmak end up picking the very one that he had given his wife?

Pondering his conversation with Selmak and debating about the odds of Annie's soul being reincarnated into Selmak's, he showered. He then changed quickly, before his thoughts went back to the odd similarities between Selmak and Annie. Jacob was startled out of his deep reflection when he heard a knock on his door.

"General Carter, it's Janet. May I come in?"

He could sense Selmak's stirring interest, and he smiled inwardly. Selmak truly liked Janet, so at least Selmak had one friend here.

**_?And you, don't forget, you, my little grouchy Tau'ri general.?_**

"Just a moment, Janet" he answered. "I'm really not grouchy, Sel."

Her mental laugh was all that he got in response even as he opened the door.

* * *

Janet Frasier gave Jacob Carter a bright smile. The doctor was wearing a smart pantsuit, Jacob noticed in approval, as he was secretly worried that Sam's friends would all show up at Chiaki's in jeans. That would kill Chiaki, as he was a traditionalist. 

"Jacob, I need to talk with you and Selmak for a bit," Janet informed him.

"Let's do it in the library, rather than in my bedroom," Jake insisted.

"Once again, you are far too concerned about my reputation, General," Janet laughed even as Jacob gave her a rather wry grin.

"Guilty as charged, Ma'am," Jacob retorted.

"You've been sleeping, haven't you?" Janet questioned. "You look very relaxed, Jake."

"I think Selmak's was able to duplicate that cocktail you gave me, as I slept most of the morning away," Jake admitted. "I've probably slept a good sixteen hours or so in the last day."

"Good," Janet exclaimed in delight. "How are you doing, Selmak? I don't mean to ignore you, but I wanted to see how Jake was doing."

Selmak performed the peculiar head nod that signified she had taken control and she smiled at Janet, before answering, "Don't worry; I know you worry about Jacob. I am quite happy with the fact that Jacob slept most of the last day. He was exhausted, and it did him well to sleep. What do you wish to talk to us about?"

The three of them entered the library, and Selmak sank gracefully into a comfortable couch.

"I like these couches, it's such a shame the Tok'ra don't have any."

"General Hammond wants me to ask you two, if you want us to leave," Janet informed them bluntly. "We know that we're stressing you both, and we don't want to do that. Do you want us to leave? Understand though, that General Hammond wants me to stay with you both, so you're not alone."

"Selmak and I need to discuss that. Would you mind?" Jacob asked as Selmak had retreated, allowing him to decide how to answer Janet.

"Absolutely, I'll just admire the view from the chair over there," Janet pointed to the chair that was farthest from where the three of them were. "Let me know when you've decided, but... we have to leave for Chiaki's in about fifteen minutes."

_**What do you want to do?**_

_**?Get rid of the one known as O'Neill. The rest can stay here, but rid of his presence. Your daughter, Janet and the General must stay. Neither the Jaffa nor Daniel has caused us difficulties, so they can remain.?**_

_**Martouf and Lantesh?**_

**_?Have them go back with O'Neill, as they must give our message to the Tok'ra. That way, O'Neill's disappearance is not seen as banishment, instead, he is escorting Martouf and Lantesh back to the Chappa'ai. Request the General to assign him to a project so O'Neill doesn't immediately return.?_**

**_My thoughts exactly._**

**_?Excellent. Now on the way to the restaurant, have Daniel ride with us. On the way home, perhaps Janet would be willing to be a designated driver.?_**

**_I never drink to excess._**

Amused thought from Selmak. A mental flash of George buckling a very smashed Jake Carter into the 'vette. Images of Jacob singing a very risqué song loudly and off key.

_**Well, before I met you, I never drank to excess. And you did something to my blood chemistry I seem to recall. And... I know...that I didn't sing that particular song as I would never sing that in front of a lady, no matter how trashed the lady had gotten me.**_

Peals of laughter and strange, bubbling sensation.

_**I like it when you laugh, Sel. You should do it more often.**_

* * *

"Janet?" 

Janet Frasier turned to face the general, successfully hiding her nervousness from Jake and Selmak. "And what did you two decide?"

"Martouf and Lantesh need to talk to the Tok'ra. We had debated about sending a message through the gate to the Tok'ra, but it would be probably better if we sent them back. Else the gate will be open for a day while the Tok'ra ask question after question."

"Now, Martouf and Lantesh can't be sent back alone, so O'Neill will have to go with them. It's because we don't want you, Sammy or George to leave, and Teal'c and Danny are both technically civilians, so O'Neill's the only one left to escort them back to the mountain."

Janet nodded once, inwardly surprised by the subtlety of the Selmak-Carter plan. They had easily separated their biggest aggravation from the rest of group and there wasn't a thing Jack O'Neill could do to prevent it, because Jake and Selmak were correct. George and Sammy couldn't leave because of Jake, and she had to stay here because Selmak wanted her assistance. Teal'c wasn't capable of getting the Tok'ra back smoothly because he was rarely off base and Daniel was a civilian.

"Janet?" Jacob asked. "Do you drink?"

"One or two glasses socially," she admitted.

"Can I ask you to be my designated driver? Tok'ra don't really drink, and the affect of alcohol on them varies."

Janet refrained from mentioning that Jake looked a little embarrassed by that last comment, and instead, she nodded her head.

"Absolutely, I'd love to drive your car," she laughed. "O'Neill is still eating his heart out."

"Good," Jake answered heartily.

* * *

George Hammond thought that Daniel Jackson looked a trifle uneasy at Jacob's offer to drive him in the 'vette. Naturally Jacob noticed it, and Carter's smile increased slightly. Jackson's going to be tossing his cookies out the window, Hammond thought in amusement. Don't ever show Carter the least weakness or he'll exploit it. 

Jackson then agreed gingerly, and before long the 'vette had left the driveway at something close to ninety miles an hour. Hammond motioned for the "children" to get into the van.

"Your father drives like a mad man," Hammond informed Samantha Carter who was looking slightly stunned.

"His driving didn't phase me at all," Janet assured Sam easily. "He had complete control over the car."

Hammond tried not to smile, but failed, "Can you just imagine what it was like for me to be in a plane with him?"

"Oh good God, Sir," Sam answered quickly. "I'm just surprised that the two of you managed to survive."

Janet laughed, and gave Sam a wink, "See, this trip has been a good experience for you, as you're learning a great deal about your father."

"Yes, he's a speed demon besides being a control freak," Sam answered rapidly. Then she looked mortified when she realized what she had said, and who exactly had witnessed her comment.

George Hammond gave her a very stern look, "Captain, don't you realize all Generals are control freaks?"

* * *

Daniel Jackson was sitting on a bench outside Chiaki's when the van finally arrived. He still looked pale and rather frightened. 

"I'll be good, just don't ever make me ride with him and Selmak again," he begged his friends. "I thought Jack was a horrible driver, but apparently Sam's father is worse, and then he let Selmak drive. I thought for sure I was going to die when Selmak hit a hundred or so. Selmak's a speed freak and he doesn't use his hands when he drives. He uses his knees to drive."

Janet Frasier hid her smile behind her hand, but her eyes twinkled merrily.

"Where's Jacob?" Hammond asked. "The 'vette's here in one piece, and I don't see any cop cars with flashing lights, so I'm assuming he's here and hasn't gotten taken away in the paddy wagon."

"There was a problem with our reservations, so he's chatting with the staff. When he starting hollering in Japanese, I decided to get some air. Sam, you never told me your dad was fluent in Japanese," Daniel admitted. "I am not sure about the propriety of some of the terms he was using."

"I didn't know he spoke Japanese," Sam admitted to Janet. "I knew he's fluent in Italian, as he listens to Italian opera a lot, but not Japanese."

"Jake speaks Russian too," Hammond inserted easily. "He's got a good ear for languages, which is why he minored in it when he was at the Academy."

"I didn't know that either," Sam admitted, becoming slightly self-conscious as this trip was proving over and over again how much she didn't know about her own father. "I just knew he went to the Academy because he wanted to go to the moon."

"Jake's got a bachelor's in aeronautical engineering, and he was working on his doctorate in some exotic subspecialty that would have all but guaranteed him a spot in the space program when he shattered his ankle. He stopped bothering to finish that degree and focused on something else, as there wasn't anyway he could become an astronaut with pins in his ankle," George admitted. "But he was one hell of a test pilot, that's for sure, and he was disappointed he couldn't get to the moon."

Jake Carter strolled out then with an older Japanese male and they both wore angelic expressions.

"Oh God, he was really horrible, I can tell," Sam moaned to Janet. "He only looks like that after he's reamed somebody's ass out. Someone with his or her ass in a sling should be crawling out shortly."

Janet smiled again, as since Jake wasn't her father, she could laugh about most of the trouble he was causing.

"First I'd like to introduce Chiaki to everyone," Jacob then began a long fluid conversation in Japanese motioning at each individual in turn as Hammond chirped in a few phrases. Chiaki nodded and spoke a greeting in Japanese to each of them, and only Jackson managed to respond in kind.

"Apparently, Hammond can speak it also," Janet muttered to Sam. "I'd love to know more about those two generals when they were younger, they sound like they've raised hell on seven different continents. Maybe they really did impress those thirty seven geishas."

"You find out as much as you can, and whatever you think I can handle, let me know," Sam admitted. "I think I don't want to know about a lot of it. Especially about the geishas."

Janet laughed easily as honestly, she was finding some of the effects of Jacob Carter rather amusing. Hammond had a rather colorful past that Jake didn't mind mentioning every chance he got, and well... it was funny seeing the self-reliant Sam Carter off balance.

Daniel walked over to the two women, and he gave them a weak smile when they innocently asked if he had recovered from his death-defying ride here.

"Your father's quite the con artist, Sam. He's extremely subtle which makes him rather dangerous. Chiaki was wondering about Teal'c hat and why he wouldn't remove it inside the restaurant. Jacob told him that Teal'c lost his hair from chemotherapy and that we're all ignoring the fact, so now Chiaki and his staff will also disregard the hat."

George broke off from the conversation and he advised Teal'c, Jack, Daniel, Martouf and Lantesh to go admire the Zen Garden for a bit as Chiaki wanted to meet Jacob's daughter.

"You're invited also, Dr. Frasier," Hammond surprised her with that bit of news.

Chiaki led the four of them into a small room, and he then greeted the two women in flawless English.

"It is delightful to finally meet your daughter, Jacob." Chiaki then shot Jake a dry smile. "Fortunately, she appears to have taken after her mother in appearance."

"Funny, Chiaki, funny," Jacob answered quickly.

Chiaki grinned at Jake's comment, "While we set up the room, I thought you'd enjoy sitting here. I don't have enough room for everyone, but Jacob assured me that others wouldn't mind looking at the gardens."

O'Neill wouldn't be very thrilled to be staring at flowers, but the others would enjoy it, Jake thought to Selmak. He was rewarded with an evil laugh from Selmak who then commented on where O'Neill should adorn himself with flowers.

"You've retired, Jacob. So what are you doing with yourself?" Chiaki questioned.

"I'm a liaison now between the US Government and one of its allies," Jacob answered smoothly. "The young man, Martouf, is a representative. I trust that your hospitality will be its usual high standards?"

"Yes, and now I will ensure it. Do you have a preference for dinner, Jacob?" Chiaki asked. "Or would you like me to decide?"

"I would be honored to taste your selections," Jacob answered quickly.

Chiaki gave Jacob a delighted smile and he then left the room.

"Chiaki's cooking?" George said in delight.

"It will probably take an hour or so, but it'll be worth it," Jake decided. "Now anyone want a drink?"

Selmak held herself motionless when Jacob took a sip. He had warned her to behave herself, and she managed somehow not to wiggle when the alcohol hit her system. It still made her tingle all over, but she remained stock-still.

_**Sel?**_

_**?Yes??**_

_**I didn't feel anything from you just now. You ok?**_

_**?Yes.?**_

Jacob took another long sip of his drink, and he waited for the faintest tickle that meant that Selmak was moving within him. No response, and so he happily took another sip.

"George, Janet spoke to me today about what I mentioned yesterday. As far as I'm concerned... and as far as Selmak is concerned, Martouf and Lantesh need to return to the mountain. Tell Nelson to fire up the Gate and send them to whatever coordinates they need to, as the two of them will be carrying a message to the Tok'ra from Selmak. Pretty much, Selmak's telling them that the two of us will be back at Cheyenne in about two weeks, and we'll discuss the matter with them then. They are to send one representative through the gate to speak with Selmak. Now, naturally, we can't send Martouf and Lantesh cross country without problems, so you need to send O'Neill with them."

"I want you and Sammy here, and Selmak wants Janet here, so that just leaves O'Neill as the only military personnel who can get them back to Cheyenne. Teal'c wouldn't be useful and Daniel... Daniel's a civilian, so it has to be O'Neill who takes them back."

Hammond didn't look surprised at Jacob's removal of O'Neill from the picture, if anything he looked impressed at how Jacob had arranged it.

"Ok, tomorrow, Jack, Lantesh and Martouf will be on their way to Cheyenne," Hammond declared.

"One thing George, make sure O'Neill doesn't come back. He has to stay away from here."

* * *

The meal went surprising well, with Jacob, Daniel and George quietly instructing those closest around them how to behave. Samantha was sitting next to Jacob, and she had to admit that she was rather impressed with the obvious familiarity he had with the Japanese culture. Even Daniel didn't seem as comfortable as the two generals. 

"Itadakimasu!" Jacob and George said loudly when the food was presented, and then the rest of the group was encouraged to repeat the phrase.

"It's a way of acknowledging the food and the cook, Sam," Jacob explained. "You've been stuck in the states for your tours haven't you?"

"Well, not always in the states," Sam reminded him pointedly.

"Point taken," he said with a laugh just before he slurped his noodles loudly.

"Dad, you're slurping," Sam giggled.

"You're supposed to, Captain," George stated loudly from where he was sitting. "It's considered good form."

O'Neill then loudly slurped his, and Daniel laughed.

"Slurp, not chug, Jack," Daniel said sweetly.

At the end of the dinner, while the group was walking through the Zen Gardens, Martouf brought out a small package that he had concealed from view.

"Eldest, forgive me for not doing at the start of the meal, but I was uncertain about the propriety of doing so," Martouf explained.

"Oh great, another Tok'ra tradition," O'Neill sighed softly.

Teal'c gave O'Neill a look of what might have been disgust and then Lantesh began pouring something into small cups that he had acquired from a waitress. He handed them out to everyone, and Jacob looked upset.

"Martouf, Lantesh no. They are not of our traditions, and do not understand our ways,  
Selmak spoke softly. "Do not do this."

"I cannot pour it back into the bottle, Eldest," Martouf explained the obvious to Selmak. "Among our people, we mourn the lost of our host for thirty of our days, and then, on the thirty first day, family and friends partake in a meal such as this. Normally, we remember the host prior to the meal, by saying a few words."

"I was only a child when I met Saroosh, I was very young and frightened. She was... compassionate... to me, and I grew to love her deeply. It is... odd... to look upon Selmak and see Jacob's face where Saroosh once stood, though I know she is there still," Martouf's voice grew shaky, and he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Forgive me Saroosh, I know you would not have me weep, but Rosha and I loved you dearly. Saroosh, host of Selmak, will be remembered for as long as I, Martouf, live."

He drank quickly, and the rest of the group drank their toast quickly, except for Selmak. The liquid tasted like honey and kicked like a mule, much to the surprise of the Tau'ri's who drank it. The cups were refilled and then Lantesh spoke.

"Saroosh taught me much about life, and most importantly," he paused and gave a short laugh, "How not to shoot my host in a foot with a Zat. For her compassion, her instructions and most importantly for her friendship, I am grateful and I know Jolinar was. Saroosh, host of Selmak, will be remembered for as long as I, Lantesh, live."

They drank again and then Martouf spoke again, "Normally, each would have a turn to speak. I know that you knew Saroosh not, but know that she was the very best of us. Eldest, it is your turn to speak, what will you say?"

Selmak shook her head in refusal to speak, and then Jacob spoke, "Selmak loved her very much. But let me add, Saroosh, host of Selmak, will be remembered for as long as I, Jacob, live. Now... I'm afraid that Selmak desires to be alone."

Jacob walked off, and Janet looked at Sam, shrugging her shoulders in confusion, "Selmak needs the chance to grieve, but...what do you say?"

"I'll talk to Jake," George offered quickly. "I think I understand what Selmak's feeling as it must be akin to losing your wife. Janet, I'll drive Jake home, if you don't mind."

Janet handed George the keys, and she gave him an encouraging smile, "Thanks, I think this is something you better handle."

* * *

"Come on, Sel, talk to me, you need to talk to me. Don't just sob, come on, talk to me, damn it," Jake muttered as George walked up to him. Jake was sitting on a stone bench, supporting his head in his hands. 

"Jake, it's George," Hammond called. "I'm driving you two home rather than Janet. I thought it better if I did. You all right, Jake?"

Jake nodded his head as George sat next to him.

"Sometimes, the amount of grief Selmak feels is overwhelming, it's like losing Annie all over again," Jake admitted in a shaky voice. "And she won't talk to me, instead she just cries."

"Maybe she needs to," George offered. "Even Selmak has to grieve, I'm sure of it. Last time I looked it up in the Instruction Manual for General and Tok'ras, even we are allowed to cry. But only in our office behind locked doors where no one can ever see us."

That quip failed to earn even a grin from Jacob, and George shook his head.

"Sel's been so concerned about me that she hasn't had a chance to deal with Saroosh's death," Jake muttered. "Oh God, George, where the hell did it all go wrong?"

"Jacob, I really think that maybe you should let yourself grieve for Saroosh also," George suggested. "Have you?"

"No, why should I?" Jake protested. "I didn't really know her; we just said a few words and then she died."

"But knowing you as well as I do, I know that you feel guilty that you're alive and she's dead. You are probably the most guilt-ridden man I ever met, Jake, and you're always feeling responsible for some wrong against humanity, especially when it's not your fault. How many times did you call me in the middle of the night because something happened to one of your guys and you needed to talk?" George questioned Jake.

"Ok, maybe I do feel guilty, Saroosh was apparently the greatest Tok'ra host ever and I'm been a colossal fuck up as a host," Jake admitted. "Yes, I feel guilty about that, and now I'm feeling really remorseful because Selmak's sobbing over Saroosh so hard that she's literally hiccupping, even while she's telling me it's not my fault that everything has gone completely and utterly to hell."

"Jacob Carter, you are not a colossal fuck up, what you are is a stupendously stubborn mule of a man, who refuses to accept help even when someone's screaming at you that they have a life preserver with your goddamn name on it."

Jake laughed softly and then harder. "Selmak is agreeing with you on that one, George. She thinks it's wonderful that I have a close friend like you to keep me sane and centered. And humble? Thanks, Sel."

"You're also probably one of the most concerned and caring friends I have, because you flew in from Germany when my wife died. You just showed up on my doorstep, you didn't even warn me you were coming. There you were and what did you say? 'Here I am, let me take care of the funeral arrangements, George'. I couldn't even think of what I had to do and you were there, handling the bills, ordering the flowers and everything else. You had a goddamn check list, and you were intent on checking every goddamn box off." George's voice shook slightly from emotion and he gave Jake a quick jab to his arm.

"I had been through it before, and your kids needed you, George. It was the least I could do for you," Jake stated.

"Stop trying so fucking hard, man. It's ok to be human. It's perfectly fine to make mistakes, Jacob. I've made plenty, but the biggest one you constantly make is that you do everything by yourself. You've got a lot of people concerned about you, lean on us for a bit. We've got the life preservers, we've got the parachutes, just tell us what we can do to help."

"Just get O'Neill out of my life, it will be a start," Jake requested. "I'll pay for their plane tickets even, just get O'Neill away."

"Consider it done, old friend. When Jack gets to Cheyenne, he's going to be placed on one of the teams that are short a member, and you won't have to deal with him or his mouth again. I don't why I put up with him, perhaps because he reminds me of you with the mouth. When I first met him I immediately wondered why the hell I had Jake Carter, Junior working for me, and then... then I met your daughter and realized I was surrounded by Carters."

"Let's go back, Jake. I'm sure the children will get worried if we don't get back soon," Hammond drawled. "But... will you ever tell me what we did with those forty two geishas?"

"Never," Jake said. "It will go to my grave, because the reality is too horrible for you to ever know."

That earned a weak giggle from Selmak, as she knew perfectly damn well nothing had happened with the geishas, but then she sniffled throughout the ride home. Jake tried to comfort her as well as he could. It was hard for him, as he didn't know what to say, but he attempted.

* * *

Jake closed his eyes, and he tried to align his soul with Selmak's. He just concentrated on Selmak's overwhelming grief, and before long he was holding her tightly. 

**_Come on, cry. It's ok, Sel._**

Selmak wept anew for what seemed like hours, until she had no tears left. Snuggling closer to Jacob, Selmak told him story after story about what Saroosh had been like while Jake rubbed her back and whispered soft words of consolation to her. Saroosh's sense of humor was legendary and Selmak told Jaocb how Lantesh had in truth, nearly shot Martouf in the foot with a Zat in one training session that Saroosh had been teaching and a great many other stories. Selmak even unbent long enough to tell him several stories about her pre-Saroosh hosts.

He wasn't surprised when Selmak nestled closer to him as he was rapidly realizing that Selmak liked to cuddle.

**_?You're so warm, Jacob, and I'm so cold.?_**

But Jacob was astonished when Selmak kissed him on his mouth hesitantly. They broke apart after a few tentative moments, and then Selmak tried to hide her face in his shoulder, painfully transparent in her fear of his reaction. Jacob brushed the tear from her cheek with a gentle touch.

_**Sel? Why are you crying? It's ok, it's ok. I'm not angry.**_

_**?You'll hate me tomorrow. I know you will. I'm just lonely, and I miss being touched...it's been so long since Norak and Jeralt died.?**_

_**No, I could never hate you. I swear it on everything I believe in that I could never hate you.**_

_**?Promise me, Jacob, that no matter what happens to me or to you, you won't hate me. You'll know that I did the best that I could.?**_

_**I promise, I swear.**_

He kissed her on her mouth, slowly, and then he pulled away from Selmak, as Jake had to ask one final question.

_**Does this... occur between a host and his symbiote? I mean, just two souls... instead of ... four?**_

_**?It's uncommon, but the Tok'ra do not criticized or condemn it. When you are as old as I am, you find that affection and friendship is to be cherished in whatever form and quantity it takes.?**_

And the two of them comforted each other in their mutual grief.

* * *

Later that evening after they had returned home from dinner, O'Neill, Martouf and Lantesh were pulled aside by George Hammond and informed that they would be leaving in the morning. Martouf was given the specifics of what to say to Garshaw and he agreed, though he was fearful of leaving Selmak behind. 

O'Neill, unsuprisingly, was furious that he would be Tok'ra-sitting.

The next morning, Jacob was walking on the beach, having a quiet morning after conversation with Selmak; reassuring her that he had no qualms or misgivings with what had happened between them, again, when he heard someone behind him.

_**?O'Neill. He's fuming.?**_

"Jack, what can I do for you?" Jacob asked insincerely, not even bothering to turn to face the younger man.

"You think that by sending me back to Cheyenne that you've won," O'Neill sputtered.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Jack. We need someone to get Lantesh and Martouf back to the gate, and you were the only possible solution," Jake reminded him. "I'd be honored that Selmak trusts you enough to suggest you."

Jack laughed. "Your friend is trying to get rid of me because you think that I'm the only one that doesn't trust either of you."

Carter turned to face the younger man, and he grabbed Jack by his shirt collar. Though Jack was taller than him by several inches, Jake still yanked Jack down to his eye level.

"I don't think you understand, I really don't like you. Jack, it's time to the road," Jake informed him in an icy voice. "Hit the road, Jack and don't you come back."

"Well, I guess if you two say so, I'll have to pack my things," Jack said snidely. "But I warned the others about Selmak, I want you to know that. Just because I'm not here, doesn't mean that everybody trusts her."

"Fine," Jacob answered as he let go of O'Neill. "Why don't you go back to the house? You've a long trip ahead of you."

O'Neill stormed off, and Jacob began to laugh inwardly. Selmak picked up on his mental note, and she was amazed about how giddy Jacob was. O'Neill was leaving... but why was Jacob singing? Then she understood, and she had to chuckle also.

_**Hit the Road Jack and dontcha come back  
No more no more no more no more,  
Hit the Road Jack and dontcha come back  
No more  
What'd you say  
  
Old woman old woman, oh you treat me so mean,  
You're the meanest old symbiote that I ever have seen,  
Well I guess if you say so  
I'll have to pack my things and go**_

_****_

_**Hit the Road Jack and dontcha come back**_

_**No more no more no more no more,  
Hit the Road Jack and dontcha come back**_


	7. Through Closed Gate, He Entered

**_Through closèd gate he enter'd  
Life and Love enter'd with him;_**

**_Madama Butterfly: Luigi Illica, Giuseppe Giacosa, Giacomo Puccini_**

**_Story: _**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General****

Part 7 Closed Gate

**_Rating: PG-13_** – Everyone swears! Repeatedly!

**_Synopsis: _**Jack O'Neill has been sent away by George Hammond because he's been a wee bit aggravating to the Jake/Selmak duality. Selmak has decided that she's going to handle things her way, and to hell with everyone else.

**_Notes: ? Bold Italics ?_** Means Jake and Selmak are having some pillow talk.

* * *

George Hammond and Samantha Carter drove back from Travis Air Base in silence. Then Hammond shook his head, "I still wonder if O'Neill got off the damn plane somehow. I wouldn't be surprised to get back and see him sitting on the doorstep."

Sam Carter laughed, "I have to agree with you, Sir. I must admit that he seemed rather subdued when you put him on the plane."

"The Colonel and I had a very long discussion, and I believe that he realized I had a point. Your father is acting the very same way a certain Jack O'Neill would if someone made repeated verbal attacks on Teal'c character. Sometimes, Captain, you get a great deal by applying a two by four to the back of someone's head. In O'Neill's case, I think I might have broken the two by four in my zeal to apply it."

Carter laughed again.

"Now you can refuse to answer this question, Captain, but I am curious. You, your father and Selmak, how are the three of you getting along?"

"My father and I are chatting, not very easily, but we're working on it," Sam said with a small smile on her face. "Selmak is being... reticent. My father really wants the two of us to talk, but... Selmak's a little leery."

"I know exactly what you're saying," Hammond admitted easily.

* * *

Selmak was in the midst of a moral dilemma. She had a bucketful of sand in one hand, and a sleeping host in front of her. Her problem was that her time with Jacob was growing short and she wanted to speak with him, but her host was sleeping. A few experimental mental throat clearings hadn't woken him. But Selmak had a surefire way of waking him, and she swung the heavy sand bucket experimentally. An evil smirk appeared on her face as she decided to wake him up in the most expeditious way she knew.

Without so much as opening one eye, her Tau'ri knew that she was up to evil.

_**You do that, you're one dead snake. Just because I let Sammy dump a bucket of sand on me, doesn't mean I'll let you get away with it, young lady. She was only four or so, while you are four thousand billion years old.**_

_**?Jacob! You're no fun!?**_

_**What do you want to chat about, Sel? You know, if you want to talk, you don't need to mentally drop a bucket of sand on me, you could say, Jacob, can we talk? Like normal people do.**_

_**?Jacob, can we talk????**_

_**No, I'm sleeping, Sel.**_

With that, he rolled over onto his side.

* * *

Truly, it was worth Selmak's wail of disgust to pretend to fall asleep on her, but she didn't need to drop the sand on top of him and then hit him HARD with the bucket.

_**SELLLLLLLMMMMMMMMMAK!!!**_

He sat up, roaring her name, and attempted to brush off the sand, while using assorted curses he had learned from being in the military for forty odd years. Meanwhile, Selmak batted her little baby blues at him innocently as though she wasn't to blame for the unexpected sand storm.

?We need to talk. I need to make sure you understand what I'm leaving inside of your mind when I leave you.?

Jacob was in far too good a mood to resist the chance to tease one excessively fretful Tok'ra symbiote, so he began to sing. She deserved that much at least....

**_Memories..._**

The fact that Jacob gave the proper answer seemed to reassure Selmak, as she gave him a wide smile. Then her smile faded when she realized what he was doing.

**_...Light the corners of my mind, misty water-colored memories of the way we were, scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind, smiles we gave to one another for the way we were._**

Selmak's annoyance was too funny for mere words, as she threw more sand at him while he continued to sing.

**_Can it be that it was all so simple then..._**

**_?STOP IT! STOP SINGING!!! I'M BEING SERIOUS, JACOB! IF YOU DON'T STOP SINGING ... I'LL... I'LL... I'LL STOP YOUR HEART!!!!?_**

Jacob grabbed his chest and started to gasp in response to that threat. He thrashed about and in his biased opinion, gave an Oscar-winning impersonation of a host whose symbiote had just killed him.

**_S-s-ssellll...... uh...uh.....sorrr....eee......whhyyy......cannnnt... I.... Brreeeattthhhhh?_**

**_?JACOB!!!!! My Tau'ri! My Tau'ri!!!!?_**

Selmak's wail of grief was so heartfelt and sincere that it made Jacob feel an itsy bitsy bit guilty, but not too much, as he was in a very good mood. After all, O'Neill was far, far away and Selmak had reassured him repeatedly that it wasn't abnormal for a host and symbiote to be lovers on the infrequent occasion. Most importantly, last night he had done his best to ensure that Selmak had enjoyed herself completely, so he was feeling... fine. Maybe it wasn't as acrobatic as the first time, but his desire for her enjoyment had been genuine.

Jacob was...quite fond... of Selmak and he would miss her when she blended with her new host.

_**Ah... Sel... I'm fine... I'm just pulling your... tail...**_

Selmak screamed at him in the most obscene Tok'ra-eese he had ever heard, and Jake stared at her in horrified fascination, as she started with his parentage and continued to describe him in great detail.

**_Selmak, do you even know what you're calling me? I always thought you were a lady, but you've got the mouth of a drunken sailor. But yes, you're absolutely correct. I am a cold-hearted bastard, my mother was a drunk and my father probably ended face down in some back alley. I wouldn't know because once I got my commission, I never talked to either of them again._**

Selmak just waved her arms at him, too irate to even 'path straight, still screeching at him and the sight of her one arm caught Jacob's eye. Carefully, he grabbed it, and he rolled up her long sleeve. What he saw there caused him to inhale sharply as Selmak had a livid bruise the size of his hand.

_**More bruises, Sel. Where the hell are all these bruises coming from?**_

Naturally, his symbiote didn't answer him; instead, she began apologizing for her comments in a very small voice.

**_?I am sorry Jacob; I should not have said those things about you. I apologize.?_**

**_Selmak, more contusions. I saw some last night... and this is a new one. What's going on? Do I need to get Janet involved? I used to bruise like this when I was on chemo, it fucks your system up something fierce. Are you all right?_**

**_?Yes, I am, though I do apologize for saying those things. I should not have. I am very repentant. I am truly apologetic.?_**

**_Call me whatever you want, Selmak. I've been called worse, a lot worse, but I'm going to ask you again. Are you ok? Don't lie to me, Sel. I'm concerned._**

**_?I'm fine, why are you concerned? A few small bruises.?_**

_**Yes, and your hair is going white, Sel. Not just gray, but white. You're not going to answer me, are you? Just please, let me know that these changes aren't due to our separating. I'm not causing this, am I? I couldn't live with that, you know that, Selmak.**_

_**?No, you're not. I assure you that the bruises aren't your fault. The white hair is completely your fault, I'm afraid. You are the most exasperating host I have ever known. I'm trying to ensure that you'll be able to handle my memories. You'll need them to help your planet, as I won't be able to help the Tau'ri as much as I want. Your planet is depending on you, Jacob. Please stop fooling around. This is important.?**_

Jacob sat down on his lounge chair, and he motioned for Selmak to join him. She must be part cat as Selmak constantly maneuvered herself into the most comfortable position. Like she always did, Selmak's avatar insisted on resting her head on his chest, leaving him wondering if he was going to fall out of the chair and take her with him.

With one hand, he began stroking her long blonde hair that was now liberally streaked with white. Selmak captured his other hand and she held onto it tightly.

**_?I can hear your heart beating. ?_**

To his amusement, the sound coming from Selmak's throat was suspiciously like a purr. Truly he didn't understand her, but sometimes, it was easier just to humor her.

**_OK, Selmak. We're gonna go over Jake Carter's complimentary parting gifts again. I will review them until I am blue in the face, and you are safely housed in your new host, if it makes you happy. The Goa'uld System Lords are...._**

* * *

"Colonel O'Neill," General Nelson greeted him upon his arrival at the base. "Martouf and Lantesh. It is good to see you again. Martouf, I was given specific instructions that I am to send you wherever you need to go. Please see Sgt. Davis who will dial wherever you need to go."

Martouf nodded and Sgt. Davis gave the Tok'ra a weak smile. He still wasn't too sure about the Tok'ra especially after having a mess of them land in his gate room recently screaming for the head of Samantha Carter's father on a platter.

"Now Colonel O'Neill, I'm quite glad that you're back. We're down a member on one of the teams, and General Hammond suggested that you'd be happy to fill in. The briefing will be in one hour."

O'Neill stopped; amazed that he had let both generals completely and totally shanghai him. Damn it, he'd almost respect Jacob Carter if it weren't for the snake in his head. Jake was unorthodox and well... he did have a good sense of humor. Just a damn shame about the snake.

Might as well accept the inevitable with good grace, and wait for the chance for revenge.

"Why yes sir! I'd be honored to fill in where ever I am needed!"

* * *

The days sped by, and as Jacob more and more relaxed, it gave him a chance to talk about the important things in life with his daughter.

Such as...

Walnuts or no walnuts in chocolate chip cookies?

"Walnuts are the key ingredient, Sammy," he insisted in a very no-nonsense tone.

Samantha Carter began to explain to Selmak again about baking cookies and why her father liked nuts in his cookies, mainly because... he was nuts. The aura radiating from her father's body was a mixture of both Selmak's confusion and Jacob's amusement. Then when Sam's back was turned, the operative noticed his chance, and struck.

"Dad!" Sam cried as she tried to whack his finger with her wooden spoon. "You're not supposed to eat the cookie dough."

"Not Jacob, Selmak," her father explained as he licked his finger. "I told Selmak that's the best part, and Selmak wanted to taste."

"Dad, when you merged with Selmak, you told me that you hoped that she'd rub off your rough edges," Sam protested. "Instead, you're corrupting her."

Sam glared at her father, and Jacob gave her look of pure innocent, ruined by the pitchfork he was waving. Then Jacob smiled and laughed.

"Your mother used to give that very same look, kid. And for far worse things than stealing cookie dough while her back was turned," Jake admitted easily.

With a mock sigh of surrender, Sam handed her father the bowl and a scraper.

"You're actually talking about Mom," she said softly. "You rarely did before."

"It upset you, and I never said the right things. I'd call George, ask him what I should say because I knew you wanted to talk about her, and he'd be really helpful. 'Just talk, son, let the words come from your heart'," Jake drawled in his flawless George Hammond impersonation. "And I'd tell him I don't know what to say, and he wouldn't give me a script, so I didn't say anything."

"I still don't know what to say, Sammy, but I miss her a great deal," her father admitted. "She was the only one that could ever persuade Mark to talk to me. I do miss him, you know. But I'm sure he's happy with his family, that's the important thing. Hopefully, he'll be a better father than I was, after all I made so many mistakes over the years, he's probably got them cataloged so he won't repeat mine."

Sam blinked, as she wasn't expecting her father to say that. And for once, Mark wasn't discussed in an acidic voice by Jacob, no, now it was... a tone of mournful regret.

"Dad, you were a good father, though you terrified every boy I dated. Selmak, did my father mention that he used to interview my dates before he left them into the house? They'd have to sit on the porch and my father had a list of questions they had to answer."

"Majority of them never made it to the door for some strange reason," Jake reminded Sam. "I don't know why."

His head bowed, and Selmak looked at Samantha. It was too good an opportunity to miss, the chance to razz Jacob for being overprotective.

"I think it was his threat to kill them if they hurt you that might have prevented your dating life from being more successful," Selmak inserted helpfully.

"Dad! You didn't!" Sam gasped.

"And his pistol," Selmak added.

"Definitely the pistol," Jake agreed. "Or was it the shotgun?"

"DAD!" Sam shrieked, which caused Janet Frasier to come running into the kitchen.

"What's the problem? I heard yelling," Janet questioned.

"Sammy blaming me for her problems dating when she was a teenager," Jake claimed innocently as he continued eating the cookie dough from the bowl. "She was just too smart for the boys back then."

**_?And now....?_** thought Selmak.

**_Daniel's pretty smart_**. Jake inserted.

"Raw cookie dough? You'll get salmonella, Jacob," Janet Frasier informed him.

Recklessly, Jake-Selmak swirled the scraper in the bowl, and then he deliberately raised it to his mouth.

* * *

A few hours later, Jake Carter sought Janet out for medical help.

"Doc, do you have any Tylenol?" Jacob asked.

"Upset stomach from the raw cookie dough?" Janet teased as she put down the book she was reading.

"No, I'm running a fever. Sel's telling me that I'm too cold, so she raised my internal temperature a few degrees. I think she raised it more than a degree or two, as I'm sweating."

"Wait a second," Janet commanded as she searched through her black bag. "Here it is, open wide, General."

"You don't have one of those ear ones?" Jake protested even as she popped the thermometer into his mouth.

"It's the only way I can shut up Generals," Janet said sweetly. She put the back of her hand against Jacob's face. "You are warm. How do you feel?"

Jake muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "With my hands."

"General, you need to learn something. In this woman's Air Force, smart asses get shots," Janet said in a very steely voice. "Lots of them. In the butt. O'Neill has a myriad of puncture wounds."

Throwing his hands out to show that he came in peace, Jake continued to suck on the thermometer, wisely saying not a word.

"Ok, done," Janet said as she removed the thermometer from his mouth. She looked at it in disbelief, and then she began rummaging through her black bag. "Jacob, sit down if you don't mind. I want to retake this. You must be cooking something, you're at one hundred and five."

"Doc," Carter questioned softly. "You know what Selmak and I are going to do, correct?"

"Yes, Selmak informed me," Janet answered. "How do you feel about it?"

"I am embarrassed to admit that I may miss the old girl, but it's better for Selmak," Jacob responded easily. "You're the only one that knows what we're doing; I haven't even mentioned it to George."

"May I ask why?" Janet asked. Her sixth sense was nudging her again.

Naturally, Selmak decided to take over control of the body then.

"While I am sure that the General will approve of our plan personally, his superiors may not. It is better if he is not put into that position. My host and the General are talking again, but not as easily as before I arrived. I do not wish to place more strain on their relationship," Selmak stated easily.

"Selmak, why is Jacob running a temperature seven degrees higher than normal?" Janet questioned.

"It's part of the separation process. His body is beginning to reject me. I am controlling the rejection process, but fortunately we are due to return to Cheyenne soon where we meet with the Tok'ra representative. After our discussion, I will finish the separation. Jacob will need to be monitored closely for the first day. By the third day, he should be fine, and the Tok'ra will send me a new host," assured Selmak convincingly.

"Are you sure that they have a host for you?" Janet asked.

"Martouf has not contacted me to state otherwise. It is part of the reason why he returned to the Tok'ra," Selmak lied.

"Selmak, I'm really not comfortable with what's going on. Radiation, chemotherapy and now Jake's body is rejecting you? You're getting injured by this aren't you? There's no way you can't be."

"No. It is part of the process to separate us. Never fear, Doctor, Jacob will be fine."

Janet Frasier looked into Selmak's ancient eyes, and Janet was the one that looked away first. Selmak's eyes were calm and accepting of whatever fate she had decided upon, and Janet knew, in her soul, that Selmak was lying to her.

Her answers were far too glib, and Jacob Carter would not be calmly asking for a Tylenol if he knew what Selmak really was doing. The words she had told George Hammond were coming back to haunt her, "I have this feeling that there is a solution percolating in Selmak's mind to this entire situation, but that Selmak's not going to tell anyone what it is. Selmak's just going to do it, and I don't Jake Carter will have any idea what the true ramifications are."

Selmak had crossed her personal Rubicon, and there was no turning back.

"Jacob will be very upset if you get hurt," Janet stated calmly.

"Jacob might be angry but I will ignore him. It is for the best. I will attempt to lower his body temperature several degrees. He will be fit for travel tomorrow, as we have to return to Cheyenne. But for now, we will sleep."

* * *

Jacob was dreaming again, and he was sitting in a chair next to Selmak who lay on the couch. She was huddled underneath a dozen or so blankets, and she was shivering.

_**One hundred and five degrees, Selmak. That's a little too high.**_

_**?I'm c-c-cold...?**_

**_Something isn't right, Sel. Your hair is completely white, and I know you're hiding more bruises from me. Now, we're cooking at a hundred and five degrees. What is going on? What is happening to you?_**

**_?Flu.?_**

**_Oh, you have the Tok'ra Flu?_**

**_?Y-y-yes... I do... ?_**

**_Oh is that why your stomach is queasy? I wish you wouldn't share that particular feeling with me._**

**_?It's the Symbiotic Flu... you don't have to worry - hosts don't get it... I'm sorry you feel nauseous.?_**

Tenderly, Jacob reached over to her, and began stroking her hair, wishing he could do something more to comfort her. He continued doing so until Selmak was deeply asleep.

**_I need to talk to Frasier. Something isn't right, I can feel it._**

Closing his eyes, he was trying to wake himself when Selmak stirred.

**_?Don't ll-l-leave me, please...?_**

**_Not going anywhere, Sel. I promise. You just go back to sleep._**

* * *

Unlike his mad flight from Cheyenne Mountain, Jake's return trip was easier. He even let Sam drive the 'vette for a bit, which shocked her.

"Me?" Sam questioned. "You're letting me drive the 'vette? Really?"

Carter Junior grabbed the keys quickly from her father's outstretched hand before he could change his mind. Then she jumped into the driver's seat in an easy fluid motion and she gave Jacob the smile that reminded him so much of Annie.

"Yes, really, I am," Jake smiled briefly. "Don't look so stunned, Sammy."

"It's the 'vette, Dad, you never let me touch it," Sam reminded him.

"I was working on it in my spare time, Sam. I didn't want you to finish it on me," Jake explained patiently.

Her father was an almost totally different man from the distant stranger he had once been, Sam thought in amazement. For one thing, they could talk. At first it was awkward, and then their conversations became effortless.

"Dad, I'm really glad that we can talk now," Sam informed her father during the drive back.

"We always could, Sammy, we just felt ill at ease," her father assured her. "I still feel uncomfortable, but now I'm fearless enough to ignore it."

Jacob gave her a crooked grin, and Sam shook her head.

"It's amazing," Sam blurted. "I've always wanted to be able to talk with you like you did with Mom and how you talk now with General Hammond. You two must have been terrors when you flew together."

"Your mom was a very special woman. Anne perceived something in me that made her decide I was worth the hardship and the grief of being an Air Force wife," Jacob said sadly. Then he flashed a wicked smiled, "But George, George on the other hand, I blackmail. I've got incriminating pictures of him that he can't let anyone see."

"The geishas, Dad?" Sam teased.

Jake laughed and nodded his head. "Ah, yes, the fifty two geishas. Plus a few other stunts that George would be horrified if his underlings ever heard about them. He was such a hell raiser. That's why I made General before he did."

Sam laughed and she agreed that Hammond would prefer to keep his secrets buried.

"Dad, do you think the Tok'ra might let you visit more often?" Sam questioned hopefully. "Or maybe they will let me visit?"

"Sammy, I'm hoping that I don't have to go back," Jake admitted. "Selmak is going to talk to the Council, and see what she can arrange."

That unexpected news so casually uttered, completely floored Sam.

"WHAT?" She exclaimed.

The Tok'ra were going to let Selmak and her father stay on Earth?

"Selmak's upset, she wanted to surprise everyone if it worked out. Selmak thinks she might be able to convince them to let me stay on Earth for a while longer," Jake explained softly. "Don't tell anyone, please."

* * *

Selmak nearly threw her non-existent symbiote hands up in complete surrender. What was Jacob thinking? Telling SAMANTHA that he might be staying on Earth? His daughter was too damn smart! She'd know that the Tok'ra wouldn't agree to Jacob hanging out on Earth for the next one hundred and ninety seven years!

She pulled Jacob down into their mental interface, and with a surprised squawk, Jacob found himself sitting in a chair, underneath a very bright light. His hands were tied behind his back, and he had a rag in his mouth.

Jacob had been in this position once before, as part of his training, Selmak knew, and she watched as he tried his bonds experimentally. He didn't look panicked, in fact, his brown eyes looked very amused, until the realization that he was tied rather securely sunk into his thick head. Sel had even tied his feet to the chair, and Jacob began rocking as he began trying to escape. Selmak then got in face and began yelling at him. For good measure, Selmak had a pain stick in her hand, not that she'd ever use it on Jacob, but she twirled it just to frighten him.

_**?You're not supposed to let anyone know. You're not! Keep your big mouth SHUT, Jacob Samuel Carter!!! I will gag you if necessary. Do you think that I won't?!?!? You're going to ruin everything! Everything! So Shut UP CARTER! SHUT UP! Stop Rocking! You're gonna fall over, damn it! And I'm going to leave you there until you realized that I'm right. You'll be there for years, centuries even, until you admit it!?**_

Selmak didn't feel well, in all honestly, and she knew that she was being more than a little cruel to Jacob, but damn it, she was trying to help him. Why did her host have to be so bloody talkative?? Couldn't he be his usual maddening taciturn self? Selmak ran her fingers through her hair, and she tried to push it back out of her eyes. Instead, her hair came out in clumps. Jacob stopped rocking, and his eyes held a questioning look as he stared at the fistfuls of hair she held in her hands. In a snarl of disgust, Selmak threw the hair on the floor, and glared at her host, daring him to say anything, not that he could as he still had the rag in his mouth.

_**?It's entirely too much hair. I'm going to shave it all off. I'm gonna go ala Hammond.?**_

Recklessly, Selmak took a pair of scissors and began hacking her long tresses off. She was so focused on her hair cut that she was surprised when she felt Jacob's hands on hers. Selmak sighed, as she had let her concentration waver allowing Jacob to escape from her mental bond.

**_Let me do it. You've got these uneven lengths, Sel, you can't cut your own hair._**

She nodded, and she tried not to sniff while Jacob attempted to trim her hair. He was surprisingly gentle with the shears, and that got Selmak even more upset. Why did Jake have to be so damn contradictory? One moment he was an infuriating pain in the ass, and the next time, he was offering her a handkerchief so she could cry? Why did his dark eyes always look so empathetic when they talked?

**_How short do you want it, Sel?_**

**_?Crew cut. Shave it all off.?_**

**_Very well. I think I remember how to give someone a buzz cut._**

She sat on the chair, and continued to sniffle while Jake cut her hair. Every so often, he'd offer her yet another dry hankie from a seeming inexhaustible supply, and she sob away.

**_There, you look like Sigourney Weaver in whatever Alien move it was. Selmak, won't you please tell me what you're doing? If I didn't know better, I'd swear you were going through chemotherapy and radiation. The fevers, the bruises, the rapid mood swings, and the hair loss. Let us not forget the nausea that I've been dealing with for the last few days. What are you doing to separate us?_**

**_?I'm doing what's necessary, Carter. Can't you comprehend that??_**

Jake stepped back, stunned at Selmak's icy tone of voice.

**_Yes, I can, but I'm not sure if I entirely approve of your methods. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure that I don't condone however you're doing this. I've never seen you act like this, Selmak. If I didn't know better, I think you hit puberty, as you're making my head spin like Sammy did when she was twelve._**

Jake's attempt at a joke failed miserably and it just wound up Selmak more.

**_?It's too damn late, Carter. The process has begun, and there's no way anyone can stop it. Not the Tok'ra, not the Tau'ri, but we can't let them know, Jacob. They'll try to stop it, and therefore, no one can know. Not your daughter, not Martouf and certainly not Hammond. We've got two more days until I talk with whomever they shoot through the Chappa'ai. Keep your mouth shut –and now you have to convince your entirely too smart daughter that you just want to stay on Earth for another week or so. ?_**

Then Selmak pushed him hard against the chest.

* * *

Her father's body lurched unexpectedly, and Sam gave him a worried look.

"Dad, I've been sitting in the parking lot, talking to you for the last ten minutes, where were you?"

"Selmak wanted to converse," Jake said. "Ok, she insisted we talk."

"Problems?" Sam questioned. Her blue eyes looked very concerned.

"Selmak's a little anxious that I might have misled you. We want to see if they'll let me stay on Earth for a while longer. You know the Tok'ra won't let Selmak stay here for the next hundred odd years."

"I know," Sam smiled. "But I hope we can have some more time before you go back."

"So do I, Sam. So do I. I can't believe that we'll be back in Colorado tomorrow, where has the time gone?" Jake laughed. "Now, Sammy, I'm not joining you guys for dinner tonight. I'm going to my room instead."

"You're still not feeling well?" Sam asked quickly. "Can't Selmak help?"

"I can't ask Selmak to heal me of the sniffles, Sammy, you know that," her father protested in a teasing voice. "She cured me of lymphoma, it's rather rude of me to ask her for more."

"You two are such a matched set," his daughter sighed in mock protest. "Which one is more stubborn?"

"Selmak _**naturally**_, I'm a teddy bear," Jacob assured her.

"No matter how many times you say that, Dad, I don't think anyone believes you," Sam reminded him tartly.

"You might be right," Jake laughed.

* * *

He read the paper for a bit, flipping through the different sections. The one thing he really missed while he had been living among the Tok'ra, well besides the doors, the coffee, the real food and far too many things to list had been newspapers. After a few hours, when his stomach had settled, Jacob ordered room service.

"I'm back to the chemo diet, Sel," he said out loud. "Flat ginger ale, chicken broth and toast. I really am getting tired of sucking on mints."

It had been a trick he had learned quickly during his chemotherapy. Bland food had been rule number one. At all times, you always had water near by to sip, and always keep a roll of mints handy. Mints helped kill the taste, and sometimes, if you were lucky, they settled your stomach.

No response.

Jacob sipped cautiously, and in spite of his care, before long he was throwing everything up.

"Selmak! We need to talk!"

Storming through his house, he couldn't find Selmak. Finally, Jake was standing in his back yard, and he looked up at the large oak tree. Sammy's tree house was there, complete with the sign that said "_**NO BOYZ ALLOWED – THIS MEANS MARK AND ESPECIALLY DAD**_". For a moment, Jake remembered how many hours he had spent building the damn tree house for her, and how infuriated he had been when the unappreciative brat had proudly put the sign up as her first order of business.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it. I bet you that she's up there, hiding. And I'm in my dress blues with my dress shoes," growled Jake in real annoyance. "Why the hell am I always in my dress uniform in these little conversations?"

He grabbed the third step, really nothing more than a board nailed to the tree trunk, and he began climbing, warning himself to watch out for the fourth step. It was loose, and he had never gotten around to fixing it.

"Now what secret knock?" Jake questioned, as he was greeted with another sign that said, "**_No admittance without secret knock_**."

That child like scribble wasn't anyone's handwriting he recognized and Carter barged into the tree house. Except he wasn't in the tree house anymore, he was in a dimly lit Tok'ra room. There couldn't be any other location that had the same dreary geometric patterns repeated ad naseaum on the walls. A scowling girl, probably all of six or seven years old, with dark hair glared at him and then greeted him with an accusatory, "You didn't knock!"

Jacob looked at the little girl who was clutching... a stuffed snake of all things, and he decided to sit down on the floor, as he felt like Dorothy in Emerald City or was it Alice that had been three sizes too big?

"Do I know you?" He questioned.

The girl nodded. She was giving him a glare that would have done Mark proud, and then the light went off in his head. Yes, something about the eyes, maybe that wasn't a stuffed snake, maybe it was a stuffed symbiote... and it could be... was it?

"Saroosh?" Jacob's voice was extremely surprised.

That earned a nod from the girl, but the frightening scowl remained plastered on her face.

"No, Saroosh would never look at me like that," Jake insisted.

"You didn't knock!" Saroosh protested again.

"Saroosh," Jacob said in his best uncomplaining, patient, fatherly voice that he had perfected with Samantha, even though his tolerance was wearing a might thin. "Is Selmak here? I really need to speak with her."

"She's sleeping!" Saroosh explained and then she hit him upside his head with the stuffed symbiote. "You didn't knock, Jacob."

There must be lead in the stuffed symbiote's head because his ears were ringing and the room was spinning after that little love tap from Saroosh.

"Saroosh, please," said another voice. "I'll deal with Jacob."

"He didn't use the secret knock," Saroosh explained to the dark skinned, veiled woman who entered the room.

"Well, it would have helped if someone told him the secret knock, Saroosh," said an all too familiar voice. "Mara, I'll handle this. You take Saroosh."

"Jana, I hit him with Gar'as," Saroosh said helpfully as she waved the symbiote again.

"I'm sure you clouted Jacob rather well with Gar'as, now go with Mara," Jana smiled. "Jacob looks like you might have hit him too hard."

"Sor-weee," Saroosh said immediately, not the least bit repentant.

"That's ok, Saroosh, I didn't know the secret knock," Jacob admitted. "Do you think you can tell me?"

"No," Saroosh insisted. "You're a boy. Boys don't get the secret knock."

With that discommendation on his gender, Saroosh left, or... perhaps more truthfully, Mara escorted the little brat out of the room. Jana sat next to him and gave Jacob an eerily familiar smile.

"Selmak's asleep and she's dreaming. You reached a little too far and you've entered her dreams. Selmak's hosts are not really here, Jake. We're actually Selmak's mental barriers to prevent you from entering her dreams, but you see the barriers as Selmak's previous hosts. Saroosh is appearing as a little ungrateful terror because you were thinking about your daughter when you crossed over."

"You know, for the first time ever, I think I actually understood a Tok'ra explanation," Jacob said dryly.

"The Tok'ra have many weaknesses including an obscene delight in subtlety and complexity," Jana admitted.

"What's happening with Selmak?" Jacob questioned.

Jana's smile faded.

"I can't answer that," Jana said, a little too quickly. "Because I don't know what you're talking about."

Jacob smiled again, and then he stood up.

"Fine, I guess I should go then," Jacob drawled.

"The exit is that way," Jana said helpfully as she pointed at a large door.

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm going to rummage through Selmak's dreams until I find out what's going on," snapped Selmak's latest and truth be told, crankiest host.

Storming through the very door that Saroosh had exited, Jacob ignored Jana's protesting squawks. He found himself in a long hallway complete with numerous doors, and he started opening them in a systematic fashion. Jana was next to him, begging him to return.

"Oops," Jake flushed after opening one door that should have been kept closed. "Sorry about that Jerry, Jana, Selmak and Norak. By all means, carry on!"

"Jake," hissed a male voice. "Down here. This door!"

An impossibly young Jake Carter pointed at a small door. He was wearing a flight suit and the mandatory sunglasses, but that's not what attracted Jake's ire.

"That's just so not right," the older Jake said to the younger. "You've got hair."

"When you were younger, you had hair," the younger one reminded him. "Now get in there, and find out what's going on. I don't approve so they're keeping me out of the loop. I know you won't either, but the other hosts are already brainwashed. Jana, you know that I'm right, so don't start mouthing off."

Jana glared at the younger Jake, and both Jakes ignored her.

"One thing, General," Captain Carter suggested. "Watch out for Soran, she's been in the sarcophagus once too often if you know what I mean. She's got ice running in her veins."

"Any other intel?" questioned the older Carter.

"Norak and Jeralt are the weakest links, use them," Jake suggestion. "And another thing, Selmak doesn't look very good, be prepared."

* * *

Selmak was lying on a stone couch in a small room, and the majority of her hosts were surrounding her, offering her as much comfort as they could. The end was near, and she desired the reassurances of her hosts. Saroosh had crawled in next to her, and the little girl was deeply asleep, clutching Gar'as.

"Jana should have gotten rid of Jake by now," Soran stated quietly. "I feel uneasy with both Carters loose. We should not have let Jacob-avatar storm out of this room. There is too much potential for trouble. Jacob-avatar does not approve and he will inform Jacob-host of the situation."

"Jana will handle the situation," Norak inserted.

"Shhh," Taryn whispered. "Beloved, are you thirsty? Sip this, it will slake your thirst."

Selmak nodded her head weakly and she sucked slowly on the straw. Then she turned her head away, and Taryn put the drink down.

"You've made the only morally correct decision," Jeralt declared forcibly.

Kaydia and Nadie began applying cool compresses to Selmak's forehead even as Mara helped Soran change Selmak into dry clothes. The sleeping Saroosh was given to Jeralt to hold while they changed Selmak, and he began rocking the young girl gently, trying to sooth her sleepy protests.

"Your fever is high," Kay murmured softly. "You need to drink."

Selmak closed her eyes and then she shook her head, _**?I can't, I feel ill.?**_

The door to the room opened, and Selmak heard the sounds of her hosts inhaling sharply.

"Having a party? And forgetting to invite me?" Jake growled. "Ok, everybody outta the room. This is between me and Selmak."

Naturally, Selmak's former hosts refused to leave. In fact Jeralt, much to the amusement of Jake's younger self and the other hosts, not so politely tossed a curse spewing Jacob out of the room. Jacob landed in a crumpled heap at the foot of Sammy's tree house. Naturally, his younger half was looking down from the tree house with amusement written on his face.

"You forgot, Jake, Jerry's a big boy," Jake Junior told Jake Senior. "He was supposed to be a Jaffa to Ra, but the Tok'ra got him first. Probably would have ended up as First Prime. Instead, he was dead before he was twenty five."

"I couldn't really tell how big Jerry was, he was too busy picking me up," Jake growled. "He just grabbed me and threw me outta the room. You think he's the weak link?"

"Physically, no, but emotionally, yes, he and Norak are the weak ones. They're very upset with what Selmak's doing," the younger Jake admitted. "Jacob, keep an eye on her, she's doing something really stupid."

"Do you know what she's doing?"

"No, but I can feel it's something drastic. And it's probably heroic and when the news of it hits Tok'ra, they're all going to have a collective cry. Then they'll make the entire saga into an epic poem and they'll get everything wrong."

"Didn't realize that the Tok'ra have poetry," Jake admitted.

"Not very good poetry, as it's very long winded," the younger one admitted. "Sel reads it sometimes when you are sleep. She's a real sucker for these really long heroic poems involving symbiotes who died for the love of their host."

The two men stared at each other and they then gave each other identical grimaces of disgust.

"**_SELMAK_**? I don't think so," both men exclaimed in unison. "She wouldn't do anything _**that**_ stupid."

Both men laughed, but their laughter slowed and then died as they stared at each.

"She wouldn't, would she?"

* * *

Repeatedly that night, he queried for Selmak, even going so far as to mentally scream her name a few times. Finally toward the early morning hours, he got a very faint, non-verbal response as Selmak sent a quizzical sensation to him.

**_Where the hell have you been? Why can't I hear you? Your voice is rather faint._**

Selmak's voice, when she finally answered wasn't the warm, feminine, all too often amused alto to which he was accustomed. Her tone was soft and faltering, as though she was exhausted.

**_?Separating us... attached to... brain stem... only... unraveling myriad of strands tiring...you in pain???"_**

**_No. I feel fine. I want to know how you're doing._**

**_?Can't chat.... Need to focus. Else snip wrong...?_**

**_Sel?? We need to talk. Now._**

**_?Too ... busy.... Too... exhausted to... do both... later...?_**

**_SELMAK? Don't you hang up on me!!_**

The little bitch laughed weakly and Jake heard a passable impersonation of a phone being hung up.

**_?Click.?_**

**_SELMAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

* * *

"We'll grab a couple of pizzas and everyone can meet at my place," Janet Frasier decided the next morning. "That way you can meet Cassandra, Jacob."

"That's nice," Jake answered politely, as he was focusing on his problem child, Selmak, who wasn't answering him. It wasn't that he didn't want to meet Cassandra, but Selmak was being difficult. "Selmak likes kids."

George laughed softly.

"Janet, George wouldn't be laughing if he realized that Selmak thinks of him as a kid," Jake said dryly. "A exceptionally bald kid."

The two men glared at each other, and George shook his head in defeat, "Why did I ever put up with you over the years? Can you answer that?"

"You hoped you could reform me," Jake admitted easily. "Instead, I pulled you over to the dark side."

The two Generals gave each other identical amused grins, even while Janet Frasier shook her head.

"**_What_**?" Jake questioned with some asperity.

"You must have been absolute terrors when you flew together," Janet informed them.

"Us?" George and Jake exclaimed in unison. "Not us."

* * *

George drove the 'vette back to Colorado and Jacob enjoyed the ride. That is, until George started questioning him.

"Ok, Carter, I've tried numerous times to get a straight answer out of you, what are you talking to the Tok'ra about tomorrow?" George questioned.

"We're going to see if I can stay on Earth a little longer," Jacob answered quickly.

His glibness earned a narrowing of Hammond's blue eyes. Shit, I never could lie to George, Jake thought in disgust.

"So, you're doing that. You're not discussing Selmak repudiating you as her host?" George shot back quickly. "I know you two were thinking about it."

Jacob felt Selmak stir within him, and he heard her warning clearly.

**_?Be careful with him. Your government may not approve of what we're doing. They will not want to lose their connection with my people. It's for the best if you lie to him. He'll understand after we've separated why you didn't tell him.?_**

"We had talked about it," Jake admitted, as sometimes the best lies were those that held the ring of truth to them. "But Selmak and I are... steadier... now, as what we needed was the chance to finishing our merge in private. Besides, I don't think Selmak could leave me without me being affected adversely."

"And I would never do that," Selmak inserted quickly. "You know that I would never willingly hurt Jacob."

Jacob felt her fatigue clearly at that moment, as she had used most of her remaining energy to speak to Hammond.

**_Sel? You don't sound well._**

The only answer he got was the feeling of Selmak moving within him, as though she was cuddling closer to his heart. To hide his growing uncertainty, Jacob decided to make some symbiotic small talk.

**_I'm going to finally see what you look like, lady. I'm rather curious._**

The only response was the slightest taste of apprehension, as though Selmak thought he'd be horror-struck by her true appearance.

**_Hey. I'm not O'Neill. Maybe, while I'm waiting for your new host to show up, I'll even scratch you on the back of your neck a few times. You know, right under your crest, that little itchy spot that you always have to scratch on my vertebrae._**

**_?Purr?_**

That was a definitely lewd purr he heard from Selmak.

**_No. I'm not rubbing that spot, Selmak. Higher up._**

**_?Giggle?_**

**_You are such a tease, Selmak._**

* * *

Cassandra was sitting in Janet Frasier's office at the SGC. For the past two weeks she had been staying with one of the senior airman and her daughter, but now, Janet was coming back and she could go home.

"Thanks for keeping me, Lara," Cassandra said politely.

"Janet's been willing to watch my daughter when my ex-husband's been less than cooperative, so naturally I was glad to help her out," Lara Johnson answered easily.

Cassandra nodded, as Lara's daughter was about her age. They were pretty good friends in school, and did almost everything together, but Lara's daughter thought that Cassandra was from Toronto. It didn't always explain away the awkwardness of not knowing basic stuff such as which member of the Backstreet Boys was cuter, but Lara's daughter didn't seem to notice.

"I'll do my homework, you don't have to keep an eye on me," Cassandra promised.

"Actually, I have to go on a mission, but Colonel O'Neill said that he'd stop by to say hello," Lara informed her.

That earned a bright smile from Cassandra, as she liked O'Neill, even though she knew that what he often claimed to be an Earth rule really wasn't. For example, it wasn't a rule that every kid should have a dog, but she had one, thanks to him. Janet had shook her head and laughed when Cassandra had tried to explain the "Rules" to her.

"He's helping me train my dog," she admitted.

"Actually, you're training your dog. I just stand back and make a few suggestions now and then," O'Neill interjected easily from the doorway "Hey, how are you?"

"Pretty good," Cassandra admitted. "Janet should be home today. We're having a pizza party tonight since she's been away for so long."

"Sounds like fun," O'Neill said seriously. "I haven't been to one of them in a while."

Cassandra gave O'Neill a bright smile, "Then you're invited."

"Sweet," he answered.

* * *

Jake returned home, and he put the 'vette away. But that was only after carefully washing, waxing and buffing it. George had gotten a ride back to the base with the others, so it was just him, Sel and the 'vette. Well, actually it was only him and the 'vette as Selmak wasn't talking to him. She was immotile, which was really strange as he was used to feeling assorted Selmak squiggles and squirms through out the day.

"Hey? Selmak," he called softly, after he had thrown his clothes into the washer and without any type of ribald comment from Selmak on his lack of housekeeping skills, trying to keep the worry from his voice. "You there?"

__

"Tonight's your going away party, you going to be up for it?" Jake teasingly questioned.

They both knew that it wasn't really a going away party, but Jake was trying to obtain some sort of verbal response from the increasingly somnolent Selmak.

**_?... no... going to be quiescent ... bother them less if I don't make an appearance...?_**

"Can we talk for a bit?" he asked. "I'll put some opera on, drink some wine and we can align the souls."

Selmak gave him what could only be described a little old lady gasp of horrified disapproval which she ruined immediately by giggling.

"I'm not trying to liquor you up, Sel," Jake said in mock horror. "You think the worst of me. For some reason, it's easier for me to chat with you if I'm relaxed."

* * *

Selmak was resting her head on his shoulder, and Jake was gently stroking her back with one hand. His symbiote was purring in delight, and Jake tried not to laugh. If anyone had seen them just now, they would have thought that the two of them were resting in the afterglow, rather than just chatting.

**_?What opera is this again??_**

"Madama Butterfly by Puccini. It's very sad, I don't know why I like it as much as I do," Jake admitted. "This Navy man takes advantage of a young girl and buys her as a temporary bride while he's in Japan. She falls in love with him, and to make a long story short, she ends up committing suicide because he didn't realize how much she cared for him. Suicide among the Japanese is considerable honorable under the right circumstances, but still it's very sad."

Selmak gave Jacob a very affectionate smile, as she knew what her host was trying to explain by his repeated comments of 'it's very sad'.

**_?What else do you expect of a Navy man, Jacob??_** She teased her host gently as he was becoming melancholy.

"True, they've got lovers in every port," Jacob laughed. "But after Annie died and when the kids weren't home, I would play this opera over and over again. Mark and Sam both hate opera, so I never played it when they were home. I'd lose myself in the music, and for a while I'd forget that Annie was dead. Then, when the opera was finished, it would all come crashing back, because Annie wasn't ever coming back and my kids despised me. Maybe that's why I liked this opera, because I commiserated on how alone and bereft Butterfly was when she died because she lost everything she loved."

_**?Annie liked opera??**_

"She hated it, but she tolerated it because I liked it," Jake admitted. "Selmak, I want to ask you a few questions, and I want you to answer me."

**_?Depends?_** Selmak teased. _**?You need to keep rubbing my back.?**_

Jake sighed loudly and he continued rubbing her back.

"What are you doing to separate us? You look... horrible..." Her host tightened his arm around her. "Don't lie to me, Selmak. I know you well enough to know that you're hurting yourself to separate us."

Her frail, mental visage was so unlike the vibrant Selmak he once knew.

Her formerly alien eyes with their catlike pupils were now, undeniably and unquestionably human, and they were blazingly blue sapphires, almost ethereal in their appearance. Jacob had seen that look far too often at Walter Reed in the oncology unit, when the human body was failing and the soul was too stubborn to accept that the good fight was over.

**_?When I'm in my new host, I will be fine, Jacob. I just have to completely separate us and the method causes me some discomfort. Everything will be fine, Jacob. I promise you, Jacob, when everything is done, you will understand what I've done and why.?_**

"Promise me, Selmak. I'm not going to say that I disapprove, but promise me, that this isn't going to do any lasting harm to you," Jake's voice cracked slightly and he flushed.

Selmak stroked his face with her hand and then she gave him a very wicked smile.

**_?Does it bother you that much to admit that you actually care for a three foot long sentient symbiote that's curled around your spinal column??_**

"And my heart. I feel definite squirms there," Jake growled. "Wiggling and jiggling."

**_?I know an old general, who swallowed a snake; that wiggled and jiggled, and tickled inside Jake...?_**

Selmak laughed again while Jake growled again.

"You're horribly off key," her host sighed in mock defeat. "And you're tickling me on the inside."

His annoyance earned more bubbly laughter from Selmak and the little minx tickled him some more, which caused Jacob to laugh.

"Did you tickle Saroosh?" Jake asked.

**_?Never. I never teased her.?_**

"No, you didn't. You cosseted her, didn't you? You swathed Saroosh in bubble wrap," Jake teased. "Wanting to keep her safe and protect her from the universe."

**_?Yes. Perhaps I sheltered her too much, but she was only a child.?_**

"So, tell me. Did you and your previous hosts ever argue?" Jake questioned. "Or was it just us?"

**_?Of course I argued with my previous hosts. In fact, Saroosh and I were arguing when we first met you. She was furious with me as I had refused eight or nine potential hosts before you arrived.?_**

"I didn't know that," Jake exclaimed in real surprise.

**_?Yes. A few symbiotes had even offered their hosts, which I refused. Then there were a few other potential hosts who did not impress me. They were children, raised on stories of adventure and glamour that thought that they could impress me with their bravery. I refused them all.?_**

"Because Saroosh would die sooner," Jacob responded.

**_?That is true, but not the only reason. I was keen on refusing you as a prospective host but Saroosh was furious with me. Then we realized how sick you were, and that you would die in the tunnels unless I blended with you, Saroosh became more insistent that I take you as my host, and that I was not to let my pride kill an innocent. ?_**

Selmak snuggled closer to Jacob and she laughed.

**_?But the real reason, I accepted you as my host was because... you made me laugh. The first thing you said to me was that I looked like hell! ?_**

**_?Then when I asked you, if I am to spend the next hundred or more years with you as my host, do you not think I have the right to decide if I even like you? You assured me that we'd have a great time together, 'What's not to like? Just ask my daughter, I'm a teddy bear.' Everyone else told me how he or she would earn my respect, and prove himself or herself worthy of being my host, and you didn't, because you didn't think you needed to earn my respect because you hadn't placed me on a pedestal. Then you told me to make up my mind because I was dying, and you would die also, unless we did this.?_**

**_?Saroosh loved your comment of 'So my point is, good man, bad man, what difference does it make? We don't have a choice. And I don't mind telling you the whole idea scares the hell outta me. So can we just get it over with?' Saroosh laughed and laughed, and she said that you would keep me humble.?_**

His symbiote laughed again, and Jake grimaced.

"I wasn't **_that_** abrasive when we first met," Jake protested vainly.

**_?Yes, you were. You were so damn proud also, because you didn't want your new soul mate to see you vomiting from the chemo.?_**

"You eavesdropped on my conversation with Samantha!"

**_?I figured I needed to know what you were saying in order to make my decision.?_**

"So Saroosh helped you decide to take me as a host. That means I get to make a verdict on your new host," Jacob informed his symbiote.

**_?Jacob, no... You won't, because I won't let you. I've told you why, and I've told you numerous times that after you're healed, and I return to the Tok'ra, I will never see you again.?_**

Like she dreaded, Jacob began arguing with her. Carefully, she put her host to sleep and she gently caressed his face. Quietly, she spoke the last few stanzas of the opera, for the words had touched her deeply.

_**"Through closèd gate he enter'd,**_

_**Life and Love enter'd with him;**_

_**Then he went and nought was left to us**_

_**Nothing, nothing, nothing but death.**_

_**Though you ne'er must know it,**_

_**Tis for you, my Jacob, for you I'm dying,**_

_**Poor Butterfly,**_

_**That you may go away, Beyond the gate..."**_


	8. Moonbeams Dart

**_

* * *

_**

Sweet, thou art sleeping,  
Cradled on my heart;  
Safe in God's keeping,  
While I must weep apart.  
Around thy head  
the moonbeams dart:  
Sleep, my beloved!

**__**

**_Madama Butterfly: Luigi Illica, Giuseppe Giacosa, Giacomo Puccini_**

**_Story: _**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

Part 8 Moonbeams Dart 

**_Synopsis_**: Selmak has begun the separation process from Jacob, knowing that it will lead to her death while the team becomes more and more suspicious.

**_Rating:_** PG-13 - Swearing and Cursing!

**_Notes:_** _**? Bold italics**_? Means symbiotic pillow talk as that Sel is a real sweet talker.

* * *

"Now Cassandra, I just want you to know that Samantha's father is joining us tonight," Janet Frasier advised her daughter.

The two of them were home, and Janet had just given Cassandra a highly sanitized version of her last two weeks after hearing all about the newest boy in school that was just so cute, and yet so conceited.

Cassandra smiled saucily, and she giggled, "Regular party we're having here. General Hammond, Teal'c, Daniel, Jack, Sam and her father are all coming over."

"Jack?" Janet focused on that one name and the thousand and one possible ramifications of Selmak, Jacob and Jack in the same small house, all of which ended with Jack lying dead in a pool of blood, his mouth half-opened in an unfinished quip, while a gleeful Selmak did a celebratory victory dance around the corpse. "I didn't invite him."

"I did," Cassandra said, as she popped a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "I figured you wouldn't mind. He wants to see how my dog training skills are coming along."

"Cassandra, Jack and Sam's father don't really get along," Janet said carefully. "You see... Jacob is a Tok'ra now."

"That's what took over Sam right?" Cassandra questioned. "The same one that threatened to _**KILL**_ me? One of them is coming over for pizza? Are you **_crazy_**?"

"Let me explain," Janet said over Cassandra's shrill protests. "Stop yelling long enough for me to explain."

* * *

The doorbell rang loudly and Janet Frasier was grateful for the interruption. Cassandra had just promised rather sullenly to be nice to Jacob and his friend, and Janet had to be appreciative for that much.

"Teenagers," Janet sighed dramatically. "God help me."

Rubbing her temples, Janet opened the door to find Daniel Jackson and Teal'c standing there. The two men were carrying several boxes of pizza, a couple of subs, spicy chicken wings and other fast food delicacies. The contrasting aromas did nothing to settle her churning stomach.

"Thank God, it's you two," Janet's voice expressed that appreciation clearly. "I've got a problem. Cassandra invited Jack."

Teal'c raised one expressive eyebrow and Daniel Jackson whistled in appreciation at the scope of Janet's problem.

"I'd like some suggestions," Janet Frasier blurted quickly. "Before O'Neill ends up dead in my living room. I'll **_never_** get the blood out of the carpet. He's not answering his cell phone."

"Ask Hammond," Daniel responded. "That's his car that's pulling in now, and he'll know what to do. Sam's bringing her father with her, so we've got a few minutes. Sam's always late for these get-togethers."

* * *

"That's a problem," Hammond said succinctly when Frasier dropped the problem in his lap. "If Sam wasn't bringing her father, I'd call Jacob and rescind his invitation. Jacob would understand, it's O'Neill."

"Someone mention my name?" Jack called as he walked toward the crowd. "I hope it's something good."

"Yes," George answered curtly. "Here's the situation, Jake's invited to this little get-together, so can you be civil to him?"

"I'm **_always_** civil," Jack answered easily.

His glibness earned a narrowing of George's icy blue eyes.

"I seem to recall Selmak wanting to kill you," Hammond reminded O'Neill. "I believe it was because of your '_**civility'**_. You've got a minute to promise me that you'll behave, because Jacob and his daughter are pulling into the driveway right now."

"Sure, no problem. It'll be fun to see Dad again," Jack agreed happily.

"It better be fun, Colonel, or else I'll take my fun out of your hide," Hammond said in a very mild tone that contradicted the ominous threat in his blue eyes. "Now, let me go explain the situation to Jacob."

The General called a greeting loudly to the two Carters even as Teal'c and Jack brought the pizzas into Janet's house.

"Janet, don't worry. Teal'c will make sure Jack behaves," Daniel said optimistically.

"From your mouth to God's ears," Frasier answered automatically.

* * *

Jacob sighed when he heard George's news, as O'Neill's presence had certainly put a damper on his good mood.

"O'Neill? He's here?" Jake growled. "He's promising to be polite?"

Hammond nodded, and Jake queried mentally for Selmak, wanting her opinion on the matter. Not getting a response, he tried again. Finally he stopped attempting to contact Selmak as it looked like he was on his own.

"Fine," Jake answered. "I'm sure Jack and I can get along for tonight."

"And Selmak?" George questioned.

"That's up to Jack," Jacob countered immediately, instinctively protecting Selmak. "Selmak has been perfectly behaved except when O'Neill gets mouthy."

"Dad, I can take you home if you want," Sam offered.

"I'm not letting O'Neill chase me away, Sammy," Jake retorted stubbornly. "I got invited, and therefore I'm attending."

George Hammond rubbed his head as though he had a headache, and Sam smiled uncertainly.

"Shall we go?" Jacob asked as he waved his arm in the general vicinity of the door.

* * *

Janet Frasier tried to hide the reservations she felt over the ill-omened tragedy of Jacob Carter, Selmak and Jack O'Neill meeting in her recently repainted and redecorated living room. To her complete horror, Jacob was smiling, Sam was grinning and George was ear to ear. It was like a convention of Great White Sharks circling in her newly repainted and redecorated living room waiting for the first scent of blood in the water. Then the feeding frenzy would start.

"They're all smiling," she said with clenched teeth.

"You're smiling, Janet," Daniel informed her.

"Not really, it just looks that way," Janet answered. "I'm waiting for everything to go wrong. I just paid off that couch that O'Neill is sitting on. I want more use out of it, but if Selmak kills O'Neill, I'll never get rid of the blood stains."

"Maybe if you ask Jacob, he'd get rid of the blood stains for you. I'm sure the Tok'ra must have some esoteric cleaning hints."

"I'm not laughing, Daniel," Janet said with her teeth still tightly clenched.

"I wasn't being funny," Daniel retorted.

* * *

Sam entered the house first, and then her father and George followed her. They exchanged pleasantries with everyone, and then Jack said hello to Jacob. Jacob gave him a very pleasant, obviously bogus smile and greeted him back. All perfectly normal, all perfectly polite, except for the fact everyone was remembering that the last time the two men had met, Selmak had wanted to wipe the floor with O'Neill's smart mouth and Jacob Carter had been urging her on.

"I'm in the Twilight Zone," Janet whispered. "I can feel it, something's going to happen. When it happens, it's gonna be huge."

At that moment, Cassandra walked into the room, carrying a tray of food.

"Cassandra, I want to introduce you to my father, Jacob. Cassandra, this is Jacob. Jacob, this is Cassandra," Sam's voice was pleasant when she introduced the two.

"Hello, Cassandra. It is a pleasure to meet you," Jacob stated in a sincere voice.

Cassandra looked at Sam's father and her face turned a pasty shade of white. Unexpectedly, she dropped the tray, spilling the food on the floor and then she ran out of the room. The back door slammed as she escaped into the back yard.

"Have that affect on most women, Jacob?" Jack asked in an insincere voice.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Janet. I'll leave," Jacob said. "First, I'll help clean the mess up, and then I'll go. Sam, I'll need a ride."

Jacob grabbed a dozen napkins, and he began cleaning the chicken wings and blue cheese dressing off the floor even as Hammond picked up the tray.

"I'll go talk to her," Jack stated quickly, sprinting past Janet and into the back yard before she could tell him no.

"I'll clean it up," Janet insisted. "Don't go, Jacob. I'll talk to her after I clean everything up, and I'll find out what the problem is."

"The problem is me," Selmak stated quietly. "I will leave and the issue will be resolved. She has Naquada in her system, and she is sensitive to my being here. I'll leave, when this is cleaned up."

* * *

"Cassandra, what's the matter?" Jack questioned intently.

The girl was sobbing, and it took a while for her to settle down.

"Look, Jacob's not one of the bad guys," Jack assured her, wondering if perhaps he was damning Jacob Carter with faint praise. "Selmak's a little pushy and Jacob's sarcastic but they won't hurt you. They might annoy the hell outta you, but they won't physically hurt you."

Best left unsaid was that Jacob Carter and Selmak would willingly hang him by his toenails and roast him over a slow fire. Cassandra really didn't need to know that. There was also the remote chance that Jack O'Neill might deserve such a punishment, but a very miniscule probability, but at least he was admitting that it could be... partially... his fault. Now it was up to Jake and Selmak to admit their own shortcomings.

Cassandra shook her head.

"What's the problem?" Jack asked again.

"I have a question," Cassandra asked. "Selmak healed Sam's father when he was dying, and now whatever happens to Selmak affects Jacob, right?"

"Yes," O'Neill answered. "That's the basic idea."

Cassandra continued slowly. "Does Sam know that her father's dying?"

That earned a rapid blink of O'Neill's eyes. "How do you know that?"

"I can sense it," Cassandra admitted. "Selmak's dying so that means Jacob's also, right?"

* * *

Much to Daniel's obvious glee, Jacob apparently did possess arcane knowledge in cleaning, as he managed to prevent the reddish orange grease from the chicken wings from staining Janet's rug permanently. Or maybe it had been George, as both men had aggressively attacked the greasy rug and had beaten it into a sparking clean submission, though sadly the chicken wings were considered a complete loss.

The rug defeated, the victors decided to have a congratulatory beer. Jacob only had a few sips before he was apologizing to Janet again in a quiet corner of the room and promising to leave.

"Stay Jacob, let me find out what's going on with her and...she'll be back," Janet protested vainly. "I think she's a little hyper at the moment. I've been away, and now having this get-together..."

"Janet," Jacob insisted softly. "You forget that I've raised Samantha by myself since she was Cassandra's age. Sometimes, the best thing is to know when to strategically withdraw in order to keep the peace, so I'm leaving. Selmak's also very sorry and she agrees that it would be in everyone's best interest that we leave now."

Jake's eyes flickered quickly, making sure that no one was close enough to overhear them. To his amusement, everyone was blatantly ignoring them, fearful that Selmak just might decided to hand device the entire lot of them.

"Don't forget tomorrow, after Selmak and I talk with the Tok'Ra, we'll be separating. Don't let anyone know because they'll try to stop it. They don't want to lose their link to the Tok'Ra," Jake reminded her.

His eyes flashed and then Selmak spoke in a very quiet whisper.

"I'm doing this for Jacob and his sanity. Don't say a word to anyone because I'm the only one here that has his best interest at heart," Selmak stated.

"What about Hammond and Sam?" Janet protested. "You can't convince me that Jake isn't their main concern."

"Perhaps I should rephrase that, I'm the only one here that has his best interest at heart that can actually do something for him without feel of reprisal. When we separate, the blame will fall on my shoulders, not his," Selmak informed Janet softly. "His government will be angry, but they will be angry with me, not Jacob. And because I did not inform anyone of what was to happen, everyone will be blameless, except for Selmak. He is my host, and I will protect him to the best of my ability."

Selmak smiled, and then her head bobbed signifying that she was no longer in physical control of the body. Then Jacob sighed, "I don't agree with that, but she thinks it's best."

Janet nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Janet. Once again, I'm sorry about everything," Jacob informed her in a voice of quiet regret. "We took you away from Cassandra for two weeks and now this."

"It's fine, Jacob. It's fine," Janet repeated, wishing that she could say more.

* * *

"Thanks for the ride, George, it was a good idea that Sam stay behind to help with Cassandra," Jake said as he opened the car door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"The briefing is at 10:00 am SHARP, Carter, I expect you to be there," Hammond informed his friend, because as sure as God made little green apples, Jacob Carter would stroll in later than everyone else, slap his watch a few times and make a comment about the battery having died.

"George, you don't need a briefing. I told you what's going to happen. The Tok'Ra will send one person through the gate at eleven and we talk to him or her, advising of the situation. We will attempt to resolve everything. Then, the meeting is over," Jake informed George.

"And the Tok'Ra will go home?" George questioned.

"Yes," Jake insisted. "We'll hold hands, sing Kum By Ya and a few other camp songs, and then go through the gate together. Perhaps we'll even skip to the gate."

"No skipping allowed on my ramp, Carter," George growled.

Jake laughed really hard, shaking his head in agreement. "I promise you, George, on my honor, there will be no skipping. Generals never skip. They use pogo sticks."

* * *

"Janet," Jack hissed softly. "We need to talk."

The small lady gave a large sigh, and she nodded.

"What's the problem?" Janet asked as she sat down at her kitchen table. "General Hammond took Jacob home so Cassandra can come back into the house. She can't have any chicken wings as she dropped them, I'm afraid."

"Cassandra says Jacob's dying," Jack said bluntly as he sat down next to her, not caring the slightest about the lost chicken wings. "What do you know about that?"

Her look of complete surprise made O'Neill uneasy.

"Carter hasn't said anything?" Jack questioned intently.

"Sam? No, she has said nothing at all about her father being ill," the doctor stated. "How does Cassandra know this?"

"She says that Selmak is dying," the colonel informed her. "Apparently with that stuff in her blood, Cassandra can not only sense the Goa'uld, but she also felt that Selmak is failing, and that at most, it is a matter of days. Not weeks, Doc, but **_days_**."

O'Neill slammed his hand on the table in annoyance, "Look, I don't particularly like Jacob and I sure as hell don't trust his snake, but I'm pretty damn annoyed that after all the hell we went through to get that son of a bitch Tok'Ra-ized, that Selmak didn't come with ninety day money back warranty."

"Let me talk to Cassandra," Janet decided. "You might be blowing this out of proportion."

Jack's snort of disgusted disbelief was his only response to that.

"And then again, maybe she's right," the slight woman admitted sadly. "Damn it, I wish I knew what the hell was going on."

* * *

**_?Your daughter will look for us. She'll stay at the party for a few hours and then decide that she needs to check up on you.?_**

**_I know._**

**_?She's got keys, so even if you don't open the door, she'll come in. We could hide underneath the bed or in the closet and she'll still find us.?_**

**_I know._**

**_?Let's go to a hotel tonight. ?_**

**_Selmak, are suggesting that we have an assignation? Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson?_**

_**?Would you like me to? Is that what you're trying to tell me? ?**_

_**You know that was a pretty good Anne Bancroft purr there, Selmak. But seriously, I'm running out of witty Graduate quotes, Selmak, why do you want to go to a hotel?**_

_**?I want to talk to you and not worry about your overly concerned, somewhat neurotic, overprotective family and friends barging in every two minutes. Because Sam will show up, then George, and then a few minutes later, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c and Cassandra will appear as if by magic, wanting a group hug.?**_

**_As long as I don't have to hug O'Neill, I'll be happy._**

Peals of laughter.

**_Oh, do you want hug O'Neill?_**

**_?Pffffttttttt...Leave a note for them on the kitchen table. A big note telling them to leave you alone, and that you'll be there at 10:30 tomorrow for the briefing.? _**

**_It's at ten, Selmak._**

**_?You'll get there late, you always do, Carter. Ever since you made General, you make everybody wait for you.?_**

**_One of the perks of rank, Selmak._**

Laughter.

**_Do I bring the white outfit?_**

**_?Yes. It's a councilor robe; wearing it will remind our little Tok'Ra friend that you hold the same rank that they do. In fact, it will remind them that I outrank every member of the Council except for the High Councilor.?_**

**_Is there a particular reason why you never wanted that position?_**

**_?The children need to lead themselves, because one day I will no longer be there to guide them. They will have to stand on their own two feet, and make their own decisions. If I was High Councilor, or if I attended the Council meetings, I would be a crutch to them. They'd never earn their independence, as they'd always have Selmak to lean on. ?_**

**_How much younger is the next oldest Tok'ra?_**

**_?Let's see... Carry the two, subtract the five... multiply by the length of the Earth year.... Hmmm... let me redo that calculations again, Jacob, as that seems a little odd. Let's see... mumble... mumble... carry the two... subtract the five, multiply by the length of the earth year in days.... Divide by nineteen.... ?_**

**_?Ooooh.... Gulp. ?_**

**_That big an age difference, Selmak?_**

**_?Yes. ?_**

**_More than a thousand?_**

**_?Yes.?_**

**_1500?_**

**_?...yes....?_**

**_Two thousand? On second thought, you don't need to answer that._**

**_?... thank you... ?_**

**_?Which hotel would you like to go to?_**

**_I'd like a Jacuzzi or a Hot Tub. We can relax in it, and we can chat. We used to have a tunnel with natural hot springs, and Mara loved soaking in them. It relaxed her greatly... that was.... How long ago? What planet was that? Sometimes, I can't remember more than her face and her humor. She was always laughing, and it drove the Council crazy, as she'd giggle throughout the meetings because of some comment I was thinking. ?_**

**_Ok. We'll find one. We'll take a taxi as that way they can't locate us._**

_**?I remember how Mara died though.... and the others... I try to forget, and I can't.?**_

_**Selmak, it doesn't get any easier for you does it?**_

_**?....no....?**_

* * *

"Cassandra, may I talk to you?" Janet questioned.

Her daughter ignored her, as Cassandra was busy snuggling with her dog. The doctor sat down on the ground next to Cassandra and she stroked the dog for a few minutes.

"Jack talked to me," Janet said softly. "Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"No," Cassandra said. "Sam doesn't know, does she?"

"No, but I've been keeping an eye on Jacob for the last two weeks," Janet stated strongly. "I'll run some tests on him tomorrow, and maybe you're mistaken."

"I'm not," Cassandra said in a shaky voice. "I can sense it, and Selmak's dying. So that means, Sam's father is dying."

"**_What_**?" Sam asked loudly, as apparently she had come out to check on Cassandra and she had heard the very last sentence. "What are you saying?"

* * *

Jake walked to the local convenience store, called for a taxi and got dropped off at the mall. Once there, he called for another taxi from a different company and he proceeded to make his way to the Marriott by the haphazardly switching cabs every few miles.

_**?If someone's trying to find you, they're going to have to look very hard.? **_

_**That's the idea, Selmak.**_

Jake paid cash for his hotel room, using a false name and then he struck up a conversation with the reservation clerk. The clerk was an older man, who wore a short crew cut and whose short sleeves failed to hide his Marine tattoo. He also wore a wedding ring, making him a likely ally.

"I'm wondering, if you could do me a slight favor," Jacob said in a very soft voice. "My daughter is going to be looking for me, and I don't want her to find me. Let me explain, she just told me that she's engaged to this idiot by the name of Jack, and he's not good enough for her. He can't keep a job, he's mouthy and he's arrogant and I think he's got a drug problem."

"Oh," the clerk said.

"Yes, and naturally, when she told me the good news, I wasn't very supportive. So the entire family's angry with me, including my wife."

Jacob tapped on his wedding ring for emphasis.

"My wife, God Bless Her, wants me to support Sammy's asinine decision because she wants Sammy to be happy. I look at Jack, and I see the idiot conductor that's going to make a train wreck of my beautiful daughter's life. If they call, or if they show up, you haven't seen me. I just can't force myself to be happy for her. I can't even pretend that I am. I need to be able to think for a bit, and maybe, just, maybe I can handle it better tomorrow."

The clerk nodded, and he sighed, "Daughters, you love them but they end up breaking your heart because they get involved with the wrong men. My daughters did, and the only thing they got was a lot of heartache and two beautiful grandkids."

"Agreed," Jacob said, as he slipped the clerk a hundred dollar bill.

"You don't need to give me that," the clerk protested.

"Buy some stuff for your grandkids," Jacob suggested. "My treat."

The bill disappeared as if by magic, and the clerk nodded his head. "If they ask, I haven't seen you. I'll change your name from Donald Wright to Robert Fitzgerald."

"Thanks," Jacob said.

"Anytime, Bobby, we dads have to stick together," the clerk said.

* * *

Jake nodded and he walked toward the elevator, holding a small bag in which he had packed his Tok'Ra apparel.

_**?That was sneaky. I didn't think you could be that sneaky, Jake! But it worked because of your honest face?**_

Jake laughed inwardly.

**_Let's get in the Jacuzzi, Selmak._**

* * *

Cassandra repeated her story first for Sam and then for George, Daniel and Teal'c. George's good-natured face had turned into a glowering frown of stern disapproval by the time Cassandra was finished explaining.

"Your father's been lying to me," George growled to Captain Carter. "I knew he was, but I was hoping that I was wrong. Dr. Fraiser, you and I had a conversation in which you advised me that you believed that the symbiote was going to solve Jacob's problems her own way and to hell with informing anyone of what she was doing. You also told me that you would let me know if you believed that Jacob was potentially to be harmed by Selmak. I think you need to tell me what you know."

Janet nodded her head and then she looked at Cassandra.

"Does the potential harm have to be physical, could it be emotional injury?" Janet asked softly.

Hammond gave Janet Frasier a measuring look and he nodded his head.

"Selmak is repudiating Jacob as her host; she feels strongly that it is imperative for his mental health that it takes place," Janet stated. She then continued over the surprised gasps from the peanut gallery. "Selmak has assured me repeatedly that Jacob will not be harmed in the process. I believe that Selmak is injuring herself to separate them and that Jacob has no idea of the extent of the damage she is inflicting on herself. If Cassandra is right, and Selmak is dying, I worry how Jacob Carter will react to that information."

Janet gave George a weak smile.

"I know exactly how Jacob will respond," George growled. "I got to find your father, Captain Carter. I've still got a few debts to him that I haven't paid. Plus I'm gonna kick his ass from here to Houston, because he told me that Selmak wasn't repudiating him."

"General, I have been told by both Selmak and Jacob that the reason why they weren't telling anyone about this was they were afraid that... there would be problems."

"Shouldn't that be more problems?" O'Neill asked, deliberately ignoring Hammond's flaring nostrils.

Sometimes the best way to handle O'Neill's sarcasm was to pay no attention to it. It irked him to no end when his witticisms were ignored and he'd quietly pout for a few minutes before opening his mouth again.

"Selmak was afraid that if you knew, General Hammond, you might be put into a position where you have to stop it. She thought it best if you weren't involved," Janet explained quickly.

* * *

Fortunately, George had a large car, so the entire cavalry could be mobilized in one tank.

Well, with the exception of Jack O'Neill who was given a direct order by George Hammond to watch Cassandra.

The watching was to be done at Janet's house.

With _**no**_ excuse for leaving the house unless it was burning to the ground.

And then he better have documentation that he didn't start the fire.

And _**just**_ to be on the safe side, Teal'c was to sit next to Jack until they returned from their Jake hunt.

"Hammond's getting a little short tempered," Daniel muttered to Sam in a soft voice.

"Actually, Dr. Jackson, I'm already long past short tempered, and working on boiling mad, do you understand me?" George questioned in a very icy voice.

"Yes, Sir!" Jackson answered automatically, his hand almost twitching in his unconscious desire to salute the General.

"Captain Carter, I'm assuming that your father isn't home, that he's at a hotel where he paid cash for the room, that he utilized several cabs to get there along with a fake name to make it almost impossible for us to locate him without physically going to every single hotel and brandishing a very out of date picture of Jake. Does that sound realistic to you?" George growled.

"Yes," Sam agreed quietly. "When he does something, he never does it half-way."

"No, he has to go for the gusto. No doubt he found some young girl, gave her a sob story and even if we do by some remote chance get the right hotel, she won't say anything to us," George snarled. "Which means, the only way to get Jacob Carter and Selmak out of the hotel is to pull the fire alarm and watch the exits."

"**_Sir?_**!?!" Janet gasped in complete disbelief. "That's _**illegal**_."

"We're doing that in every hotel in Colorado Springs?" Daniel questioned. "We'll probably get arrested."

"No, we are not, Doctor Jackson. We're going to Jacob's apartment, because I'm hoping that stupid mule actually left a note this time."

George opened Jacob's door without so much as a knock. The General then barged into the apartment, uncaring of Jake's possible reaction

"He's got a M5, don't you think we should knock?" Daniel Jackson questioned Janet. "Among most civilized people, what we're doing could justify shoot first, ask questions later."

"He's not here, Doctor Jackson," Hammond called from the kitchen. "My good God, the impossible has happened; Jacob Samuel Carter actually left a note. In fact, he left **_three_** notes, one for me, one for his daughter, and one for Dr. Frasier."

* * *

Janet Frasier opened her note gingerly. She had noticed that her note was in a different handwriting than the rest and she knew that meant Selmak had left a note.

**_Janet_**

**_Please check General Hammond's blood pressure. It is probably sky high._**

**_Selmak_**

The note made her giggle, which infuriated Hammond.

"What?" he snapped.

"Selmak's concerned about your blood pressure, she asked me to check it," Janet said.

"Yes, I'm afraid that it's a little high right now. Do you want to hear the note from Jacob?" Without waiting for her approval, Hammond started reading it, "George – Gone bar hopping with Selmak. Don't try to find me. I'd appreciate it. Jake."

* * *

Sam's smile was shaky, and then she read hers, "Sam. Don't worry about your old man. Assure George that I'll be at the briefing tomorrow, but I want to be left alone tonight. That's all I'm asking. Please honor that request. Dad."

Left unsaid by Sam were Jacob's last few sentences on his note. His handwriting was a nearly illegible scrawl, but it was a declaration that he loved her, and that he was glad that they had gotten the chance to finally talk.

* * *

**_?Jacob. You need to drink this.?_**

"It's glowing, Selmak," Jacob protested to no avail. "A rather odd shade of purple."

**_?Drink IT!!!!?_**

Ignoring his symbiote's disparaging comments about him being a sissy, Jake Carter pinched his nose and drank. Then manfully, he kept it down though the purple goop was roiling in his stomach. It took a lot of swallows until he was absolutely positive that it would stay in his belly, and then he started on the next batch of Selmak's Super Symbiotic Sludge.

"The yellow one wasn't that bad. Tasted like bananas," Jacob lied.

**_?Good. You've got two more 'shots'.?_**

"Selmak, I'm feeling really weird right now," Jacob griped as he drank something that might have strawberry-kiwi flavored, if it wasn't a dark muddy brown color.

**_?More so than your normal??_**

Selmak's mental voice could only be described as highly acerbic, and Jacob nodded his head. Least he would have but the last drink apparently had paralyzed him. Least he was lying flat on his back on a nice soft bed complete with comfortable pillows and a warm blanket.

**_?Don't panic. You know I need you completely still while I'm finishing severing our blessed ties that bind us.?_**

**_I can hear you better now._**

**_?Less physical distractions. ?_**

**_Oh._**

Jacob gasped unexpectedly when Selmak's movements caused a rather oddly euphoric sensation throughout his body. If he could only move, he would have been in the fetal position quivering uncontrollably after whatever she had just done.

_**?Just a few wet symbiotic kisses on your brain stem, Jacob. Released a mess of endorphins into your system. Do you feel euphoric right now? I could increase the enkephalins and dynorphinin levels in your**_ _**blood? ?**_

Without asking, Selmak increased his endorphins level substantially, which caused him to whimper. Somehow without being able to move a muscle, Jacob Carter managed to see that his hands were clenching the blankets tightly.

**_?Still awake, Jacob? I'm going to play again with your brain chemistry. I want you to sleep during this. You'll have a few odd dreams, nothing more. You shouldn't feel any pain.?_**

**_Is this going to hurt you?_**

Selmak failed to answer except for a wicked laugh when she flooded his body with more endorphins.

* * *

_She'd be home soon, and he ate quickly, trying to swallow his sandwich. Wasn't allowed to eat in his room, and he didn't want to make a mess in the kitchen, else she'd be mad. Jake hated when his mother was mad. Hated her screaming, hated her drinking, hated hearing about how he took after his deadbeat of a father and one day, he vowed that he'd escape from her and the men she brought home. The door opened, and he winced. He hadn't eaten quickly enough, and from the muffled giggles, she had brought someone home with her. Time to disappear, but where?_

_"You took the last of the bread? You didn't save any for your mother?" Her mother screamed at him, and he didn't say anything. Really wasn't anything to say, because it was true. She had drunk her paycheck away and there wasn't anything to eat in the house._

_"You're just like your father, Jacob. It's always about you. You need this, you need that, you don't give a goddamn thought to anyone else but yourself!"_

_Nodding his head like he was supposed to whenever she said something derogatory about him didn't seem to work today._

_"What's this? You think you're funny, Carter? Just nodding your head along?"_

_She was going to hit him. Then tomorrow, she'd be remorseful, maybe... or else she'd just scream._

_One day he'd get out, and nobody would ever hurt him again. He'd never let anyone get close enough to hurt him. No one would ever hurt him again by telling him how he wasn't good enough and how he was such a failure. They could tell him until they were blue in the face, but he, Jacob Samuel Carter wouldn't care. Knowing it was true and accepting that it was true would take the sting away. He wasn't good enough no matter what. He was a world-class fuck up. Repeating that simple fact over and over again, he waited for the blow to land._

Someone grabbed him roughly, and he tried not to flinch. Flinching just made things worse.

**_?JACOB! WAKE UP! YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DREAM!!!!?_**

He opened his eyes warily. A tall blonde woman with short hair was looking at him, and she had tears in her blue eyes.

_**?Wake up. You need to wake up, Jacob. You're having a bad dream. You're not a fuck up, Jake. You're a wonderful man.?**_

Closing his eyes again, he was fast asleep.

_"We've got Captain Hook for our new science teacher," one girl giggled. "He's got a hook and an eye patch."_

_Everyone laughed, except for Jacob. Wasn't funny. Not at all._

_The teacher walked into the room a few minutes later. He was tall and graying. He wore his hair in a crew cut and he was noticeably wearing an eye patch, and his left sleeve hung empty._

_"Ok. I'm sure you've heard about Captain Hook. Let me introduce myself, my name is Mark Sorrentino and I will be teaching you dead heads science. I lost one blue eye and one left arm over the bright sunny skies of Korea when a bandit shot my plane out from underneath me, and my rank in the Air Force was Colonel. If you're going to call me Hook, I would appreciate you getting my rank correct, which is Colonel Hook. Now students, open your books to page three. For those of you that are uncertain, that is the page that comes after two."_

_In time, Jacob Carter became one of Mr. Sorrentino's top students. His teacher constantly gave him extra homework, and Jake thrived on the attention. Didn't matter if it was physics or chemistry or any of the other classes Sorrentino taught, Jake Carter sat in the very first seat in the front row and he looked forward to the class._

_Sorrentino didn't teach like the other teachers as he was sarcastic and unforgiving of mistakes, but he created various science clubs for the students. Jake's absolute favorite was the astronomy class. In time, Sorrentino let him set up the equipment for the various field exercises, and Jake stayed at the telescope long after the other students had left. Jake also helped break down the equipment and in exchange, Sorrentino would give him a ride home. Jake picked a nice house out and he used it as 'home' whenever Sorrentino gave him a ride. It was five blocks from where he lived, but he didn't want Mr. Sorrentino seeing where he really lived, and he certainly didn't want his mother meeting him._

_Naturally it was too good to last for long. He got home late one night and his mother was waiting for him. Normally, she was asleep in a drunken stupor when he got home, but not tonight. No, tonight she was angry, and she had missed her favorite punching bag._

_"Where the hell have you been?"_

_"School, I told you about it," Jake reminded her. He had told her about it repeatedly, wanting to earn her approval because he was getting all A's in his classes and Sorrentino thought he had potential. Sorrentino was the only person that thought Jacob Carter could make something of himself, and Jake drank in his approval like his mother swilling cheap scotch._

_"School is during the day, not at night. You need to get a job and support your own sorry ass. I'm tired of feeding you, and you not paying one damn red cent," his mother snarled._

_He agreed, because what else could he do?_

_He trudged up to his room, feeling utterly defeated and trying to convince himself that he didn't care. Everyone made fun of him that he was Sorrentino's pet anyway, and he was tired of the extra homework, tired of being marked down on his exams when other people would have gotten A's and just... tired of everything. The blonde woman was back, and she kept telling him that he had to wake up, as she couldn't wake him. She didn't make any sense. This wasn't a dream. This was reality. This was Jacob Carter's living hell of a life and the only chance of escape had been taken from him._

_Naturally, Sorrentino noticed._

_"Carter, office," he roared, pointing his hook at Jacob after one particularly bad day._

_Jake sat down in the chair as Sorrentino closed the door to his office._

_"What the hell is your problem, boy? You failed the last exam and you know why? You didn't put a goddamn thing down on the exam, Carter. What's the problem? Is it your mother? Is she drinking?"_

_"You know?" Carter said shakily._

_"Yes, I know. I know all about you, Jacob Carter. I make it my business to know everything I can about my subordinates. I've got plans for you, Carter. I expect you to make something of yourself, because unlike the rest of the idiots I'm teaching, you've got a brain. You've got potential. Why the hell are you fucking it up?"_

_"I'm a fuck up," Jacob told him. "My mother always tells me that, and it's true."_

_"Your mother's a drunk, Carter. Drunks like taking out their anger on everyone around them. They have their sessions of pity and then they're angry when they see other people who have a chance of success. My father was a drunk and he ended up dead in an alley. I escaped, and I'm trying to offer you the same solution somebody offered me. You got brains, boy. I want to get you in the military. Don't let your mother win. Don't let your emotions control you. She thinks you're a fuck up? You're only a fuck up if you let her win, and if you let her hurt you. Get the armor on Carter, it's what you need to survive."_

_"Now, you're gonna retake that exam, and I'm only give you fifty percent of whatever score you get. Don't forget tonight you're setting up the telescope for me."_

_"I can't, I need to get a job," Jake stated._

_"Your mother again? Ok, go to the grocer's, find out how much they'll pay you as a stockboy. I'll match it, and you'll work for my wife and me. Yard work, other stuff, and you'll set up my telescopes as part of your job. Just one thing, you're not giving your mom all the money. She's just gonna drink it away, Carter."_

_Jake nodded._

**_?Jacob, wake up. It's a dream. I can't wake you up. You need to wake up. This is a dream. Mark's not here.?_**

_"CARTER, office!" Sorrentino yelled._

_His teacher was looking particularly fierce, and Jacob heard a few whispers of support from his fellow classmates. Nobody knew that for the past year, Jacob had pretty much been living with Sorrentino and his wife as his mother had disappeared one day for parts unknown. He had a room of his own, clean clothes and food to eat. He could read as much as he wanted without anyone screaming he was a lazy son of a bitch._

_"Hook's in a foul mood today," one sighed._

_"Tinkerbell must have turned him down," laughed another._

_Jake nodded, and he collected his books. Sorrentino's one blue eye was blazing in intensity, and Jacob wondered what had happened. He found out when Sorrentino pushed an envelope in front of him. It was a thick envelope addressed to him, in care of Mr. Sorrentino's address._

_"It's from the Air Force Academy, Carter, open it."_

_He opened it carefully, his hand shaking._

_"Dear Mr. Carter. We are please to accept you as a member of the class... I'm in. I'm in," Jacob exclaimed in excitement._

**_?Jacob. Listen to me. I can't wake you. I'm too weak right now. What's happening is you're reliving your past. It's called Mal Sharran. Don't panic, I'm here, but I can't wake you.?_**

The strange dreams continued.

_He met Anne again for the very first time, and she still wasn't very impressed with him. She was leggy, blonde and beautiful, and he was a painfully reserved kid from the sticks who was bound and determined to make something of himself. His bookish nature annoyed her as her best friend was dating his gregarious and popular roommate, so she was stuck with him, as her friend's parents decreed that Janie could date only if Annie chaperoned her. During the four years in Academy, Jake found himself becoming more and more deeply enthralled by Annie, yet he was too reticent to say anything to her._

_"Jacob, they're looking for you," one of his dorm mates informed him one night. "I think it's pretty serious, they've got the General with them."_

_Immediately, Jake knew that he had gotten suspended from the Academy. His mind raced from idea to idea on what might have caused his expulsion, but he couldn't think coherently. Instead all he could do was to repeat over and over in his head, "Jacob Carter is a complete and total fuckup". He was still voiceless when the head of the school found him._

_"I need to talk to you, son," the Texan said. "In private."_

_The old man then regretfully informed Jacob that Mark and Celeste Sorrentino had been killed in a car accident and that Jake was being given leave to return home for the funeral. Jake nodded his head in all the right spots when the General paused and asked him questions, knowing only that once again, he was alone._

_To his complete surprise, Annie insisted on going home with him for the funeral. He was grateful for her emotional support as his mother showed up, pissed assed drunk at the funeral and started a scene. Annie held onto his hand tightly while he blatantly ignored his mother, staring straight ahead at the caskets that held his true parents, while the drunk lambasted him._

_The walls were up, and the woman that bore him was never going to hurt him again, but somehow that week, he realized he had given the keys to his soul to Annie._

_Jacob was still shell-shocked from his endless grief when Annie took him by his hand one warm spring afternoon and commissioned him as her personal second lieutenant. He didn't know what to say or what to do beyond the basics, but Annie had enough experience to make sure he enjoyed himself. In the afterglow, he held onto her like a drowning man holding unto a life preserver, vowing never to let her go. She was his bright haired, blue-eyed Annie, the only person who cared for him in the entire world._

_He'd never hurt her. He'd kill himself before he hurt her._

_"Annie..." he whispered... "I love you...."_

_In time, Annie agreed to marry him, and it was the happiest day of his life. Not even getting into the Academy could match it, but... still he wished that Mark Sorrentino could have been there. It was sad, as he didn't really have anyone to stand up for him, so he drafted Annie's brother to be his best man._

_Jake found her packing one-day in their small two bedroom home on the base. She was leaving, and he didn't know what to say. They had only been married for such a short time, not even a year, and he had been so happy. The roses he had bought for her fell from his lifeless hands as he realized the simple truth once again, everyone he ever loved left him. Annie, the Sorrentinos, even his father and his mother he had loved and they had deserted him._

_"I can't live like this," she informed him. "I heard the jet explode today and I knew it was you. I need to be able to hear an airplane and not think it's you up there, and how you could die."_

_He shook his head, as it had been Thompson who had bought the farm. He had been a bright, happy go lucky kid with a big laugh who had flown too far, too fast._

_"Damn it, Carter. Your walls are up again. Why do I have to fight so hard to get behind them? I'm your wife, Jacob."_

_Holding out his hands in mute supplication, Jacob wished that Annie would tell him what she wanted from him. He didn't know, and he didn't want to make it worse with his ineptness._

_"I'm going home to my mother. She says I can stay there. I just can't live with a man who can't express his emotions. Jacob, I'm pregnant and I can't live like this. The stress isn't good for the baby."_

_"You're pregnant?" Jacob's voice was quietly surprised._

_"Yes," his wife confirmed._

_She started crying, and Jacob just stood there, watching her. What was he supposed to do? Should he hold her? Should he just let her go? It would be better for her and the baby if she left._

_But if Annie left, he'd have nothing for which to live. He knew that after she left, he'd take his service revolver and he'd blow his brains out. The bitter taste of grief was in his mouth, and it tasted like gunmetal._

_It had happened to other men he had flown with, and it wouldn't be the last time._

_"So what do you have to say for yourself, Jacob? You're just standing there, just watching me. Your wife is leaving because she can't handle you shutting her out of your life. You've told me that you loved me once, Jacob. I can't live like this; I need to hear it from you on more than one occasion. What does the great Stone Face Carter have to say to that?"_

_"I... had... hoped to be a better father than my father had been to me," Jake said softly. "But it would be best for you if you left...I... I.... but...."_

_He put his hands against his head, attempting to compose himself but knowing that he was failing miserably._

_"But...I don't have anything to live for if you leave me, Annie..." he admitted._

_To his utter mortification, he was crying. Annie would ridicule him for it as his mother always had, but he couldn't stop. She had wiggled her way behind his walls, and now she was leaving him._

_"Jacob, you haven't cried in all the time I've known you. You didn't even cry at the funeral. You can, you know," Annie said softly. "Come on, let it out. You never let yourself grieve for Mark and Celeste. Come on, Jake... let it out."_

_He held onto her tightly, and she hugged him. It was almost like there were two people embracing him tightly._

_**?My Tau'ri, my Tau'ri. You need to grieve.?**_

_"If it's a boy, we'll name him Jacob after you," Annie decided._

_"No, his name will be Mark." Jacob requested._

_The strange dreams continued, reliving various events of his life. He saw Annie die again, and his time, the blonde woman held onto him when he wept alone in his bedroom. Mark hated him. Sam hated him. He should be the one dead. Not Annie. Not her... Oh God, why her?_

_**Jacob. Listen to me. I can't wake you. I'm too weak right now. What's happening is called Mal Sharran, and you relieving what events have made you the man you are. Don't panic, I'm here, but I can't wake you. You might see some of my past. It won't make any sense to you, but... try not to panic.** _

_"You are the First Born, and I lay upon you four a heavy commission," the woman speaking was tall, dark and authoritarian. "If I fall, you will lead. Of all my children, you will be the only one to know the full scope of my plans. You will be my lieutenants."_

_"It will be as you command, Mother," said Soran-Selmak._

_"Yes, if it be within our power, we will prevail," stated Nersha-**Taweret**. As expected, Telka-**Selket** agreed with a silent nod while Jorgan-Bes smiled his approval._

_"Mother, I have noticed that you have chosen female hosts for three of us. May I ask why?" Selmak questioned softly._

_"Taweret and Selket will be intimately involved with the women of this planet," Egeria said with a laugh. "Taweret and Selket, you will be the goddesses of childbirth. The women will come to you with their prayers and supplications, and when the prayers are answered, they will dedicate their children to you. Bes, you will assist them as necessary. You three will build me an army."_

_"Do I not have the potential to be a goddess?" Selmak asked dryly. "Or am I to be the goddesses' parlor maid?"_

_"No dearest, I have plans for you," Egeria stated. "Now children, you have prayers to answer. Go, and we shall meet again. But Selmak, you and I shall walk awhile on this planet. You have much to learn."_

_She found Taweret, her bloody body broken, her symbiote dead._

_"My sister," Selmak wailed._

_"We will fight them. We will destroy them," thundered Bes. "Arise my followers, we will do battle. They have killed my mate and they must pay!"_

_"We will be destroyed," Selmak insisted. "Selket, Bes, Mother would not want this."_

_The firstborns of the Tok'ra broke rank that day. Selket and Bes rode out to fight and they did not return. Selmak was wrapping Taweret's body in the sacred shroud when a young Tok'ra came to her._

_"Eldest," was what she said._

_Not Firstborn, the Rank of Selket, Bes, Taweret and Selmak, but Eldest. Selmak felt the heavy weight of responsibility descend upon her shoulders. Egeria was gone, and her siblings dead. Only the children were left, and she had to bring their scattered remnants together._

_"We will go through the Chappa'ai," she decided. "We will flee this world, and we will build a new homeworld. But we will build our cities underground in tunnels. We must practice stealth and patience. How many remain?"_

_The child gave her a number, and Selmak prevented her wail of grief from exploding from her lips. So few left. So many dead due to Bes' and Selket's mindless, self-destructive rage._

_In time, Selmak's life came down to two simple things. End the Goa'uld domination by sending children out to die. Rally the troops. She no longer laughed, nor did she enjoy what pleasures she once had. The war became her lover and friend, and she devoted herself completely to the cause._

_In time, Soran spoke to her._

_"Eldest," Soran's voice was apologetic. "I grow weary of our fight. Will you not let me pass on? The new woman, Mara, I believe that she would willingly take you as her symbiote."_

_"You would leave me?" Selmak questioned. "My beloved, you would leave me?"_

_"I grow tired, Selmak. I have been your host for almost one thousand years, and I grow weary of our battle. You sustain me far longer than the other hosts."_

_"I would go with you." Selmak offered._

_"You can not. Who would lead the children?" Soran questioned. "I have made something for you. It was originally a Tollan toy, but when you grow lonely, you can talk to me. My mind's imprint is there, and it will be like I am here."_

_"It will not," Selmak protested. "I will be alone."_

_"You'll have Mara," Soran reminded her. "And I will always be with you."_

_In time, Mara, Taryn, Nadie and Kaydia's imprints joined Soran's on the silver pyramid. Selmak withdrew further and further into herself as she was forced into the roles of General, Eldest, Egeria's Chosen and anything else the Tok'ra wanted her to be called. Her new host Jana interrupted her dark thoughts one day while she was thinking of expenses, supplies and the need for new Tok'Ra hosts. So many dead, and a traumatized Egeria had disappeared again one day leaving them without a functioning queen. She alone knew that Egeria lived, but she had no idea where Egeria was._

_"Selmak. He's back again." Distinctly amused tone to Jana's mental voice._

_"Who?"_

_"That hot looking guy – the tall one, Jeralt. You know, Norak's partner," Jana prompted. "I think he's interested."_

_Groan._

_"If you want him, let me know. I'll sleep through it."_

_"Selmak. When's the last time you had a lover?" Jana purred. "Especially with legs like that boy? I believe that he wears the kilt just to show off his legs."_

_"Kay had her affairs. I never said she couldn't," Selmak reminded Jana acidly. "I just never got involved. All of my hosts were allowed their lovers."_

_"So a three way, rather than a four?" Jana questioned naughtily._

_"Norak, Jeralt, please come here," Selmak snapped._

_"Yes, Eldest," Norak and then Jeralt politely answered._

_"Jana requires recreation of a personal nature. Will you service her?" Selmak questioned._

_"SELMAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jana screamed._

_"Will the Eldest be joining us?" Jeralt questioned with a saucy leer. "Her reputation is formidable, and her presence will bestow on Norak and myself a great deal of apprehension regarding our technique."_

_"No, she will not. She will be sleeping through it. I trust you and Jana will make the appropriate arrangements, but I suggest that you do it quickly..."_

_"As a gentlemen, I must take my time," Jeralt inserted._

_That earned a baleful look from Selmak, "Because Jana is becoming more and more difficult to deal with."_

_In time, Selmak grew to love Norak and Jeralt as they accepted Selmak as Selmak. It might have been the fact that Jeralt and Norak both treated just a little insolently. Both of them were cheeky, but they amused Selmak._

_And in time, the Eldest knowingly sent them to their death._

_His body returned to the Chappa'ai, Selmak then began her plans for vengeance._

_She would kill Ra's Prime for he had killed her mates, her loves and her life. Maddened with grief, her only thoughts were for revenge. It took years, but she found Ra's Prime. He thought Jana was a Goa'uld in Ra's service, and the fool allowed her to speak to him in private. She simpered, she sighed and she appeared weak, until she stuck the blade through his symbiote sack, killing his symbiote and releasing the poisonous toxins from the dying symbiote into his bloodstream._

_"Know this, I am Divine Vengeance," Selmak snarled. "Look upon my face and know that your False God could not save you. But I will save you, do you know why?"_

_The Prime shook his head._

_"I will save you repeatedly, so I can kill you over and over again," Selmak roared._

_That said, she twisted the blade inside him. Then she healed him with a hand device, just enough so she could twist the knife again and again and again..._

_"SELMAK! THIS IS WRONG!" Jana screamed inside her. "BELOVED! RA WOULD DO SUCH. JERALT AND NORAK WOULD BE HORRIFIED IF THEY KNEW."_

_She took the blade out, ignoring the dark red blood that shot out from the wound. Then, deliberately, she slit the Prime's throat. It would be an easier death than Jeralt and Norak's and far better than the Prime deserved. In time, she returned to the Tunnels, her clothing still stained with blood, and the Council met her at the Chappa'ai._

_"Hear me, Council," she stated. "I, Selmak, Eldest, wish to die."_

_She left the council after that, though they insisted on keeping a seat for her on it. Growing more and more solitary, she and Jana became more and more adept at infiltrating the Goa'uld, intent on their growing obsession to destroy the Goa'uld. Her handiwork was everywhere, a Prime died unexpectedly, a faction urged to attack another and a plague that only affected the royal household, killing them all._

_Selmak-Jana became the blonde Angel of Death, delivering death and loss to the Goa'uld._

* * *

Jake tried to wake Selmak, but she wasn't responding to him. Reliving and reliving the deaths of her hosts had caused Selmak to go catatonic.

"Selmak, wake up. I can't handle this," Jake pleaded.

When Mara's neck had been snapped, he thought it had been his as the intense pain had ricocheted through his body. He had felt everything that had happened to Selmak and her hosts, and now Selmak wasn't responding to anything. The sheer amount of Selmak's grief, rage and ... shame...was overwhelming him. He understood the grief and the rage, but why was she mortified? Ah... the brief bit of insanity when she had contemplated seriously about torturing Apophis' Prime. Selmak was feeling ashamed because she was human, just like everybody else.

"I would have done the same thing if that Prime had killed Annie," Jake reassured Selmak. "Come on, Selmak, wake up. Time to rise and shine, sleeping beauty, wake up."

He talked to her for hours, reassuring that he was there; that he wasn't upset with her and anything else he could talk about. Jake talked about his children, how proud he was of Sam, and how sometimes, he wished that Mark and he weren't estranged from one another. He mentioned the Sorrentinos, Annie, George and even O'Neill.

"I think the reason why I dislike O'Neill so much is because he reminds too much of myself," Jake admitted. "Maybe if I liked myself more, I could tolerate him."

At last, he sensed that Selmak was deeply asleep, but that she was not dreaming. Instead, she was almost in a coma since she was sleeping so soundly.

"Ah, you fell asleep when I was talking. I have that affect on many people, Selmak," Jacob laughed. "Sleep tight, Selmak. We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Naturally, Jacob couldn't sleep, and so when Selmak finally roused he was aware of the slight mental pop that meant she was awake.

"Good Morning, sleepy," he teased because he couldn't resist the chance. He wasn't going to have any more chances after today, so Jake decided to tease her as much as he could.

**_?Jacob... my beloved...?_**

"Beloved?" Jake questioned. Selmak had always called her hosts that, and it was the first time she had used the term with him.

**_Yes, Jacob, my beloved, my much adored host in spite of being the extremely exasperating, pain in the ass that you are. I do love you. I am very, very sorry about what happened. My attempts to make you pain free backfired, as I did not expect what happened..._**

"Sel, I can handle pain a lot better than unmitigated bliss," Jacob reminded her.

**_?But I didn't want to hurt you.?_**

"Stop worry about my pain, Selmak. I can handle it," Jake insisted.

**_?You've been through so much pain already in your short life. I didn't want to add any.?_**

"Selmak," Jake protested softly. He was going to say more, but dear God, sometimes Selmak reminded him so much of Annie, and he knew his composure was getting shaky.

_**?Do you still like me??**_

Very soft voice, like a child.

Without wanting to, Jake remembered Sam asking that same question after he came home after a tour in 'Nam. She had raced to greet him and he hadn't been expecting that welcome. His nerves had been strained, and Jacob had sharply told his daughter to settle down. Sam's big baby blues had gotten teary eyed, and she had started crying, wanting to know if Daddy still loved her.

**_?Jacob do you still respect me? ?_**

Jacob managed not to laugh, as he knew that he'd be crying shortly. It was the first time a woman had ever asked that after they had spent the night together... but that wasn't why Sel was asking it. Selmak wanted to know that because Jacob Carter now knew everything about her, including the pretty awful stuff that Selmak had never wanted him to know, including torturing Jerry and Norak's murderer.

**_Yes. I do. Nothing you could ever tell me would ever change that Selmak._**

* * *

George Hammond shipped SG-1 out the first thing in the morning, which was very fortunate, as the Tok'Ra began arriving in mass an hour early. He had twenty Tok'Ra in his Gate Room, or was it forty because there were two in each host, standing in his Gate Room at ten o'clock.

None of them looked happy, but at least they had made no motion to leave the Embarkation room. They appeared to be waiting for some one or something to arrive. There was no doubt in his mind that they were an army of Tok'Ra in the room, as everyone there was wearing what only could be described as combat fatigues.

The Tok'Ra were gating in from all over the universe apparently, as Sgt. Davis losing his voice announcing, "Tok'Ra ID received, Sir." Sgt. Siler was sitting next to him, his sole function writing down each and every coordinate that their guests were arriving from. It would be just his luck that the system would crash and he'd lose every coordinate

As it was, George was losing his voice from repeating, "Open the Iris, Sergeant," and was now merely waving his hand whenever the Gate churned.

Naturally, Jacob Carter was late.

They couldn't find. He wasn't at his apartment. He hadn't left a message and if the Tok'Ra didn't kill him, then George would.

With his bare hands.

The phone rang and Siler grabbed it. He listened and then he turned to face Hammond.

"Sir, General Carter has just arrived. The escort wants to know if he can stop at the infirmary first. They are questioning your order to shoot him if he doesn't come immediately to the Embarkation Room, because they'll have to take him to the Infirmary anyway."

George waved his hand and Siler nodded.

"Permission received from the General for General Carter to go to the infirmary first with the understanding that there will be no future detours," Siler informed whomever was on the line.

"Tok'Ra ID received, Sir," Davis mumbled.

Siler took a fresh piece of paper and began drawing out the coordinates, valiantly ignoring the fact that his hand was beginning to cramp.

* * *

"Nice outfit, Jacob," Janet Frasier said in a very dry voice when Jacob Carter stopped by to give her a box.

Inside the box was the medication for the separation process along with several CDs of various operas. Jacob had included a note requesting that they be played alongside Selmak's tank while she recouped. In her symbiote form, Selmak would be almost completely blind, but she would be able to hear and to smell.

For that reason also, Jacob had ordered a dozen scarlet roses with exceedingly large thorns to be delivered also in care of Janet Frasier. Selmak would be able to smell them, and she'd know that Jake was thinking of her.

Jake flashed her a grin as Frasier looked at his clothes, as he was wearing an outfit he deemed completely outlandish. Black boots, black pants, long white shirt and a long flowing black tunic that reached his knees. The finishing touch was the black sweatband around his head, with gold embroidery no less. There was a lot of gold on the outfit, and he had protested Selmak's selection of the outfit.

_**?It is the mal'kieri. It is a symbol, Jacob. The Tok'Ra representative will understand why you are wearing it, and it will cut out a great deal of needless chit-chat.?**_

"I refused to wear the cape until I get into the Gate room," he confessed.

"You're late, General," Janet informed Jacob. "You too, Selmak. Roll your sleeve up, Jacob, as I need blood from you. I want to do a type and screen just to be on the safe side."

As Hammond had foretold, Jake tapped his wristwatch and commented about the batteries having died.

"Ever since he made General, he's always been late to meetings," Selmak confessed even as Janet stuck Jacob with a few needles. "Subconsciously."

Jake nodded his head, and then he was in control, "So, you're telling me that George is pissed?"

"I wouldn't use that term," Janet said, intent on defending her C.O..

"Cherry red from the top of his bald dome," Carter laughed, tapping his own dome to make his point, "Down to his shoes. He's gonna stroke one of these days. Come on Selmak, it's time to face the music."

"One question, Jacob," the diminutive doctor requested in a very authoritative voice. "And I'd appreciate Selmak answering the question also."

"Since you're asking so nicely, absolutely, Janet. But if George strokes, I'm blaming you," Jake teased.

"Is Selmak dying?" Janet blurted that question out, as there was no way to beat around the bush.

Selmak laughed, "We're all dying, Janet. Some of us are dying quickly, while others are dying slowly. But sooner or later, everyone will die. Some of us just have the choice to choose our method of exodus."

Selmak smiled beatifically at Janet, giving Janet an unspoken answer to her question.

Jake took control of the body then. "That's a very strange question, Janet. Do you know something?"

In the end, it was Selmak's eyes that convinced Janet to stay quiet. They had been calm and accepting of her fate.

"No, someone made a comment, I must have misheard," Janet answered. "I'm sorry."

Then Jake's dark eyes narrowed and he gave the doctor a rather intimidating glare, which caused her to instinctively step back two feet as Jacob looked exactly like her father with that glower.

"If you know something Janet, I'd appreciate you telling me it. I don't think you misheard anything, so spill it, Doc," Jake growled.

"You've got a meeting, General Carter," Janet reminded him. "Don't be later than you already are, Jacob. Selmak, we'll talk later."

"Good," Selmak's host mumbled. "She likes you."

"I'm honored," the petite doctor admitted. "Goodbye Selmak."

* * *

**_That was a very odd question from Janet._**

**_?She noticed that I am weaker than my norm. That is all.?_**

**_You're up to something, aren't you? You're humming._**

**_?Am not.?_**

**_Are too._**

**_?AM NOT!?_**

**_Are too._**

**_?I AM NOT!?_**

**_You're humming Madama Butterfly, Selmak._**

**_?I like the tune! Humming helps me think! I believe I got that habit from you, as you often hum mentally. Does 'Wild Blue Yonder' ring any bells??_**

**_Sigh._**

**_?Can't win, Jake. You should know that by now.?_**

**_I still valiantly and vainly endeavor._**

Laughter.

* * *

Selmak greeted George Hammond who was almost tomato red in his annoyance with Jacob Carter and symbiote.

"Selmak, I have one hundred Tok'Ra hosts in my Gate room. They're lining up the walls right now," George barked. "I thought you told me only one of them would show."

"The Council apparently overrode Martouf," Selmak decided. "Don't let them leave the Gate room. Are they armed?"

"Yes," Hammond thundered.

"Have they made any type of hostile overtures?" Selmak continued to question while she walked toward the Gate Room. "They might have the weapons just to facilitate obtaining the Gate."

"No, they're just standing in my Gate room," the General commented. "I think they're planning on a picnic, as they were laying a large white cloth on the floor."

That bit of news stopped Selmak dead in her tracks. Jake's face looked pole axed, as though someone had punched him in the kidneys.

"White?" she questioned. "Are you certain of the color?"

"I'm not color blind, Selmak. And let me tell you that this isn't my first barbeque, what the _**hell**_ are you up to?"

Selmak pointed at George, "I'm attempting to prevent this entire situation from blowing up, General. Now let me be. But now I need two of your people for attendants."

**_Little rude to George there, weren't we?_**

**_?White cloth? Are they having a council meeting? Are they nuts? I don't have the time for this. Grumble grumble grumble.?_**

* * *

Sgts. Davis and Siler were returning to their post in the command center after being relieved of their duties so that they could take a much-deserved break.

"My hand is still cramping. I can't believe I had to draw every gate combination," Siler complained. "I swear, if I held a little bit more rank, I'd tell Hammond what he could do with those 1405 different characters that I had to draw."

Truth of the matter, Siler had only drawn a dozen or so gate combinations, but it had been very taxing. Little did Siler realize that his day was going to get much, much worse, thanks to the imp of the perverse.

He turned the corner to find Hammond smiling at him, along with General Jacob Carter of the head snake and the blazing eyes.

"Him and him," Selmak pointed. "They'll have to do. Come with me."

"Permission to ask what's going on, Sir?" Siler questioned.

"You're meeting the Tok'Ra High Council, Sgt. Siler," Hammond answered shortly.

"I would have worn my dress uniform if I'd known," Siler commented. "Permission to go get my dress uniform, Sir?"

Siler ignored his cohort in crime's dirty look. Davis knew that Siler's dress uniform was hanging in his closet. _**At SILER'S HOUSE**_. Twenty minutes away from the Mountain. Hopefully Davis wouldn't say anything.

"Permission denied," Selmak answered. "Just keep your mouth _**shut**_ and follow my lead."

Or perhaps it was General Carter that answered, because Siler was having problems telling who was who. They looked alike after all.

Selmak-Carter stormed toward the Gate room and Siler gave Davis a puzzled look. Davis just shrugged his shoulders and motioned for Siler to go first.

"No, after you, Walt," Siler insisted.

* * *

"We'll hold our discussion in Goa'uld," Selmak explained to Hammond.

Selmak ignored Davis and Siler's combined sighs of disbeliefs over what they had gotten themselves involved in.

"I'd prefer it to be in a language I understand," Hammond inserted.

"Some of the council members are unfamiliar with your language. This is a Tok'Ra matter, and I'll try to translate as much as I can."

"Or as much as you're willing to translate," George retorted.

"Absolutely correct, General. You'd do the same in my position," Selmak reminded him. "Do not bother to protest your innocence, because Jacob agrees with me."

Hammond grew more furious when he saw what the Tok'Ra had done to the Embarkation room. Not only a large white cloth was on the floor, but now there were fifteen or so pillows and assorted various Tok'Ra holding trays.

"I better get my room back the way it was, Selmak," George threatened.

"You will. I already know that you don't have anyone scheduled to utilize the room for the next day," Selmak reminded George.

"What if there is an emergency?" George retorted.

"They'll clean it up before the fifth chevron's locked," Selmak insisted.

"I better not have to test it."

Garshaw's face dropped when she saw Jacob Carter and what he was wearing. For just a moment, and only Jacob noticed it because he was looking for hints as to what was going to happen, for at this moment, he truly was only a passenger in his own body. Then Garshaw, being the smooth politician that she was, immediately attempted to take control of the situation.

"Since Selmak will not come to the Council, the Council will come to Selmak," Garshaw explained regally and in English.

Naturally, his inner snake wasn't having any of that.

"Selmak does not have time to deal with this idiocy, so Selmak wishes the Council to leave. **_Immediately_**." That was also said in English.

"Do you think you could be a little politer?" George muttered, only loud enough for Selmak and Jacob to hear. "They're armed, we're not."

"General, Sergeants, please make yourselves comfortable," Selmak insisted, as she gracefully sank to the floor. "You will be offered various delicacies to eat or drink and they are perfectly safe for you to eat."

"Are you sure about that?" Hammond whispered softly.

"Yes," Selmak insisted.

The two Sergeants sat next to each other, cautiously sipping and eating whatever they were offered. Timidly, at first, then with greater gusto as they realized that the Tok'Ra was serving something that was smooth as silk going down the pipes and then kicked like a mule. It was the only way they could occupy their time as Selmak and Garshaw were screaming at each in Tok'ra-ese or Goa'uld or whatever. Nobody else spoke except for the Selmak and Garshaw, and General Hammond was looking more and more uneasy.

"Tempers are flaring, Davis," Siler commented laconically.

"Yes, they are," Davis admitted in some concern, after looking at a Zat that was far too close for his comfort. "I'd rather be upstairs right now."

"Yup," Siler agreed. "Something is going to go wrong and Hammond will expect you and me to fix it."

Davis rolled his eyes in exasperation over Siler's comment.

"You know I'm right, Carter's off base as are most of the teams. That means that the Sergeants will have to solve the problems."

"Like normal," Davis agreed.

"Maybe this time we'll get a medal," Siler commented dryly.

"That's crazy talk. You really shouldn't drink on the job, Siler," Davis protested. "Especially with Hammond ten feet away from you."

Naturally, that's when the gate began lighting up.

* * *

Selmak realized quickly that every one of her nicely laid plans was going to hell. What was that quote, 'the best laid plans of symbiotes and men aft gang aglay'? SG-1 was now standing in the Gate Room as they probably got kicked off the planet because of O'Neill's mouth. Garshaw had assembled the biggest assembly of Tok'Ras ever outside one of their bases and they were all armed and standing in the Gate Room.

Siler and Davis were getting drunk.

Ok, maybe they weren't, but it would be the icing on the cake to get Hammond's men sloshed.

It had been such a nice plan. Martouf had been given sealed correspondence to give to Garshaw in which Selmak had detailed her plan to stabilize her bond, and if that it didn't work, she'd repudiate Jacob and to hell with any decisions made by the Council. Garshaw had been furious and the two of them had been screaming at each other regarding Selmak's decision for the last forty five minutes, and now.. now... Daniel Jackson was being invited to sit at the council meeting.

What was Jacob's favorite curse word? _**Fuck**_. Yes, that was it. Selmak repeated it a dozen or so times savoring the very satisfactory feeling that utilizing the word gave her. It completely summed up her mood, and she deliberately ignored Jacob's mental query. He continued to question her; so having no other method to deal with him; she just put her host to sleep.

Selmak didn't have time for this. She needed to be in Janet Frasier' office fifteen minutes ago, as Jacob's body was beginning to reject her. His temperature was up, and she could feel the minute muscle contractions that were taking place in her system. If she didn't get out of the Gate Room quickly, Jacob would end up vomiting her on the floor in front of his horrified family and friends.

Not very attractive.

Great! Now O'Neill was being invited to join the meeting as Garshaw thought he was cute. By the very womb of Egeria! Was everyone against her today?

"Doctor Jackson, I want you to translate everything for me. We're recording this entire meeting so when it's over, Siler will run the tapes for you," Hammond instructed.

"Did you talk to Jacob about what Cassandra said?" Jackson questioned softly.

"No, Carter was late, and the Tok'Ra were very early and very much armed," George admitted. George's voice conveyed his extreme annoyance with the universe at large. "What is happening now?"

"It's a Grand Council meeting," the young man explained. "Which is very odd, as Selmak had commented about the fact that the Council members always meet in the tunnels, as it's the only place they can guarantee their safety, normally."

"Let me guess, I should feel very honored that I have them in my Gate Room?" George growled. "Well, I'm not."

* * *

Garshaw and Selmak continued to argue, and then finally Selmak decided to shut Garshaw's mouth.

"You can't tell me what the Council has decided, because I've already made mine. There is no going back. Within the next few hours, I will be separate from Jacob."

"There are no available hosts," Garshaw protested.

"I'm going to **_die_**," Selmak roared, deliberately using a very obscure Goa'uld dialect for that announcement, because it would take Jackson time to translate it. It matter not that Teal'c understood the conversation, for he had given her a look of surprise when he heard what she was doing and an approving nod of his head when she had explained the reasons why it was the only option. "Now, **_leave_**."

"You would die alone here?" A councilor questioned softly. "Among these people?"

"I will not die alone. I will die with Jacob nearby. I am of the Tau'ri, and I will die with the Tau'ri. Come back for my body in a week." Selmak stated quietly, hoping that her friends understood why she was doing it. "There was no other choice. You must understand, I could not keep him unwilling."

"And does Jacob approve of your death?" asked another councilor.

"He does not know because he would not approve. I do this for my Jacob."

"Selmak, Selmak, let us stay with you so you will not die among strangers," Garshaw requested softly.

"No, you must go," Selmak insisted. "They will blame you for what happens. I would not have you held accountable for this."

"May we tell the others?" Garshaw questioned. "They would want to say their goodbyes."

Selmak nodded her head. The end was coming, and now she was finding that she both craved and feared it.

"General Hammond," Selmak stated in English. "The meeting is adjourned. They are requesting to be returned. They have agreed to utilize the last coordinates and they will travel from there."

Selmak then ordered all the Tau'ri out of the Gate room.

* * *

"You know, I think what annoys me most about the Tok'Ra is that just so damn arrogant. Who is Selmak to order us out of OUR Gate Room?" O'Neill questioned to his uncaring audience.

"Dr. Jackson, what were Selmak and Garshaw screaming about at the very end? Whatever Selmak said, shut Garshaw up cold? I've been at enough meetings with foreign diplomats to know when someone has pulled an Ace outta her sleeve, even if they don't announce it in English. What was Selmak's trump card?" Hammond asked.

"I don't know," Daniel admitted quietly. "I didn't recognize the language she was using."

"Sir," Siler stated, emboldened by the Tok'Ra Firewater in his system. "I believe they switched languages when Dr. Jackson was invited to join the meeting. The first language was very guttural, only Russian-like and also the verbs seemed simple, monophthongs. After Dr. Jackson arrived, the language they were using was more flowing. They used a lot of diphthongs and a great deal of tonal variation on their speech."

"Almost Japanese in style, with the various tone levels," Davis agreed.

Every one of the commissioned officers stopped to stare at the two sergeants in stunned disbelief. Even Teal'c raised an expressive eyebrow because well, everyone had underestimated Davis and Siler once again.

Daniel snapped his fingers and looked impressed, "Thank you. I'll take that into advisement because it will give me a starting point."

"Good job, Sparky," O'Neill announced, as he gave Siler an approving pat on his back.

While Jackson ran to his office to find his various books, the rest of the group decided to watch the very strange scene enfolding in the Embarkation Room.

"You never did tell me why you came back early," Hammond questioned.

"There was a triple sun rising, and it looked like it was going to get very hot very quickly," Jack informed him. "Very pretty, but very, very warm."

"What the hell is Selmak doing?" Hammond growled, as he hadn't really been listening to Jack. Instead he had been staring at Jake, who was standing on the ramp.

"Saying Aloha, I believe, sir," Jack commented as they watched groups of Tok'Ra talk to Jake Carter and Selmak and then exit through the Gate.

"His color is bad," Sam mentioned. "I thought he looked pale earlier, but his skin color doesn't look good."

"I believe that Jacob Carter is supporting himself using the rails on the ramp," Bra'tac commented. "He leans on it for support."

"Sgt. Davis, call down to the infirmary, and tell Dr. Frasier, I'd like a team up to the Embarkation Room. Tell her it's a drill, that's why we're not paging overhead." Hammond decided, listening to his instinct.

"I'm going down there," Sam decided.

Jack decided to exit with her, and Hammond continued to stare at Jake Carter.

* * *

The goodbyes were hard, and Selmak found herself weeping. To break bonds that had existed for hundreds of years was far more painful than she had believed possible. Jacob still slept within her, and after Garshaw and the Tok'Ra Council had left, then she decided to wake him.

Naturally, Jacob was furious with her. He was so often angry with her that it was reassuring that at the end, he was annoyed. She would have been overcome with grief if Jacob had been nice to her.

**_Why'd you put me to sleep? Selmak? What are you doing? What you are hiding from me? SELMAK! I want an answer. I deserve a reply. And you know what, I'M EXPECTING A RESPONSE!_**

**_?Beloved, I am doing what needs to be done because I am the only one that can do it.? _**

**_Jake still was screaming at her, and then she said her final goodbyes._**

**_?Jacob. I love you. Always remember that. Goodbye.?_**

**_What is happening? What is going on? Why won't you answer me, Selmak?_**

Then for the final time, Selmak gently put Jacob Carter to sleep. She was weakening, and the pain was almost rhythmic in its intensity. It was like... labor pains, she thought whimsically, and in the end, Jacob Carter would give birth to a twenty-pound, thirty inch symbiote.

"Sweet, thou art sleeping, Cradled on my heart; Safe in God's keeping, While I must weep apart. Around thy head the moonbeams dart: Sleep, my beloved!"

Selmak turned to face the Command Center, looking for George Hammond. Her eyes locked with his, and then she gave him a picture perfect salute. She held it until he returned the salute, as he finally understood what was happening. In the end, the two of them forged an unlikely bond in their desire to help Jacob Carter.

By returning her salute, Hammond was telling her that he'd keep an eye on Jacob for her. It would be enough to know that her Jacob would have Samantha and George with him.

She smiled and she stopped saluting. The pain was growing in intensity, and she began coughing uncontrollably.

Jack O'Neill entered the room first, and he saw Jacob Carter take a header unto the floor. There was blood streaming from his nose and mouth.

Sam was on his heels, but she stopped when saw that her father lying on the ramp. Her scream exchoed throughout the room, "_**DAD**_!"


	9. Silent Lucidity

**_I will be watching over you,  
I am gonna help you see it through,  
I will protect you in the night, _****_I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity_**

**_"Silent Lucidity" Queensryche_**

**_Story: _**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General

Part 9 Silent Lucidity 

**_Synopsis_**: Selmak and Jake have separated.

**_Rating:_** PG-13 - Swearing and Cursing!

**_Notes:_** **_? Bold italics?_** Means pillow talk between Sel and Jake.

* * *

For a brief, passing moment, he had control of his body again.

Right after he smacked his head full-force onto the ramp that led to the Gate, Selmak unconsciously released her hold on his body. Instincts, honed by many years of similar motions, made Jacob grab for the pictures that were in his left pocket. The metallic taste of blood was filling his mouth, and he tried to turn onto his side to allow the fluid to drain. He was going to choke... he couldn't breath...

Things were seriously wrong. He couldn't roll on his side, Selmak was shrieking uncontrollably inside of his head and then he saw...**_her_**....

Annie...

Dressed in white looking down at him... Tears in her blue eyes... Because of him...

"Annie?" he gasped, while he tried to spit the blood from his mouth. "I'm sorry... Oh my God... I'm so sorry... "

"Shhhh..." she said softly. "I don't have much time, so **_listen_**. I don't blame you."

"My fault...." He whispered softly.

His self-hate over causing her death had festered unchecked for years, warping and twisting his relationship with his children. Now, while Jake lay dying on the ramp, simple truths were becoming crystal clear. He had failed Annie, and he had in turn had failed Mark and Samantha.

Inevitably, he had then failed Selmak.

So it was, world without end, Jacob Carter, _**failure**_.

"If you had picked me up that day, George and you would have died also. Instead of hitting the taxi, that car would have hit yours. It was my time to go, Jacob and I'm sorry I left you, especially since the very last time we spoke, we argued. Now, listen to me, Jacob. You're going to have help Selmak because you're the only one that can."

"You know...?"

"Yes, and I like her. A great deal in fact, Jake. She's been keeping an eye on you, and you need **_someone_** to do that, Jacob, as you get yourself into these horrible messes all the time. Now, she's going to come out soon, and you need to stay awake until she does. Understand? You need to stay awake until Selmak's out."

"Annie..."

"Selmak is going to need you to protect her as she's going to be very vulnerable. She's going to be cold and afraid. You protect her, Jacob. You _**owe**_ her that much, if not more."

"Yes..." Jacob gasped. He tried to nod his head also, but he was too weak to even do that.

"Don't let anyone take her except for Frasier. You can trust Frasier with her."

"**_Annie_**...."

"I have to go, I'm not supposed to be here, but I had to be. I'll see you and Selmak later. Carter, love you."

* * *

"Come on, Carter, let's roll your father on his side," O'Neill ordered as Sam and Teal'c arrived at the gate. "Who's Annie? Is she..."

O'Neill didn't finish that question as he had a very good idea to whom Jacob was talking.

Carter Senior was lying on the ramp, his sightless eyes staring upwards, and he was whispering a very peculiar conversation with someone only he could see. The former general's face was cool and ashen and his lips were cyanotic but O'Neill had heard enough of Jacob's words to realize that the older Carter carried a grief to equal to his own.

If he was dying, would he be begging forgiveness from his son?

_**I should have locked the gun in a safe. I should have removed the bullets. I should have done so many things, Charlie, and I never did. If I could take that horrible day back, I would. **_

O'Neill tried to push those thoughts to the back of his mind. He was almost successful, except for the unwelcome thought that kept intruding into his mind. No matter what he did, the thought was growing louder and louder. The nagging, persistent thought had surfaced on their road trip to hell, and at first, it had been an instinctual realization and far easier to ignore. But now with a dying Jacob Carter lying on the gate room floor, the general spitting blood from his mouth as he talked to his dead, it was as clear as if someone had tattooed the thought on his soul.

**_He and Jacob Carter had far too much in common._**

Was that the real reason why he and Jake had been at loggerheads?

Not because of the Head Snake, but because subconsciously, they had each realized that the other man was just a carbon copy of their own assorted failures through the years? If you weren't strong enough to look at yourself in the mirror without flinching, then how could you actually look at a living, breathing, flawed facsimile of yourself? Could you even be polite to your damaged carbon copy?

Or would you direct your self-hate towards him?

How could you be friendly to someone that shared your same tragic flaws, who had made the same mistakes you had done, and whose soul was still stained with the blood from his loved one?

You couldn't, especially when you were inundated with your own self-despite.

"He's talking to Mom," Sam said quietly.

"Oh," O'Neill said in a very soft voice. Then in a louder voice, conveying a confidence that he was sorely lacking at the moment, "Jacob, we're going to roll you on your side, so you can breath easier. I'll hold his head and neck stable, Sam, you and Teal'c are going to have to roll him."

"Siler's coming, so that's an extra set of hands," his 2IC informed him.

"Come on, put a bounce in your step, Sparky," O'Neill grouched. "We don't have all day."

Siler was instructed to take Carter Senior's shoulders, Teal'c had the older Carter's waist and Sam had latched onto his legs. Jack had a death grip on the General's head, and he was busy instructing everyone what to do.

"On my count of three, we roll Jacob," O'Neill instructed. "Come on Jacob, stop fighting us, we're here to help you."

"Sir?" Siler questioned. "Is that... **_something_**... coming out of the General's mouth?"

Sure enough, there was something bloody and snake-like popping its head out of Jacob's mouth, tongue flickering and squeaking away like mad, and O'Neill knew he was going to hurl if he kept watching the little family drama unfold before him. Fortunately, Jacob was now struggling fiercely and trying to sit up on his own power so Jack could focus on that problem, rather than the symbiote that was exiting Carter.

"I do believe that is Selmak," Teal'c stated the obvious in his usual serious tone of voice.

O'Neill glanced at Teal'c, wishing neither for the first time nor the last, that he knew when Teal'c was being flippant.

"Ok, people, time for Plan B. Sit Jacob up. Teal'c and Siler, you hold onto his ankles, Sam take his hands, and I'll support his back. Jacob, stop fighting us, we're trying to help you. Carter, come on, breathe through your nose," Jack commanded.

"Sir, we're going to need a bite block of some kind. We don't want the General clamping down on Selmak. I've got my knife with me and it's got a good handle on it, so we can use that," Siler suggested.

Sitting up made it a little easier to take in air, but Jake was still having difficulties breathing and his breath came in short, painful pants. His heart was racing and any moment, it was going to pop out of his chest. Selmak was exiting through his mouth slowly, and her passage was leaving an almost sickly bittersweet taste in his mouth.

_**Always knew you were too sweet, Sel.**_

Then he started chuckling, spitting blood up while he laughed.

It's just like the scene in Alien, Jake thought, attempting to put some humor, albeit dark humor, into the situation. Except Selmak was not exploding out of my gut.

_**Thank God for small favors, and considerate symbiotes like Selmak!**_

"It's a bite block, sir," Siler informed him, as the sergeant placed something between his teeth.

Jacob bit down on it, experimentally, seeing if he could. It was just large enough so he could bite down on it, and he wouldn't crunch into Selmak accidentally. That was an overwhelming relief, and he tried to thank the Sergeant with his eyes as his feeble attempt at humor had left him winded. Jacob nodded his head, and he felt his daughter clench onto his hands after she loosened his collar.

"It's alright, Dad. Janet's on the way up," she informed him. "You just relax."

That comment made him laugh again but weakly, as Selmak was inching her way out of him. He'd like to see Sam **_relax_** if she were in a similar position. Selmak slid out of his mouth and then she made a quick dash for his open collar. It was odd, feeling her move **_outside_** of him.

"Somebody grabs Selmak when it's finished exiting," Jack instructed.

Jake shook his head, unable to say anything as Selmak was still in his mouth. She had found her way inside his shirt, slithering closer and closer to his heart, and he wondered how long Selmak was, as it seemed she was taking her own sweet time to leave him. With an audible sucking noise, Selmak's tail flopped out of his mouth, and she continued her sprint toward his collar.

He continued spitting up bright red blood while someone removed the bite block from his mouth, and he heard George Hammond questioning O'Neill abruptly in Hammond's typical no-nonsense style, "Colonel, what the **_hell_** is going on?"

Janet was pushing Sam out of her way, and Sam released Jake's hands long enough so he could wrap them around his chest. He had to protect Selmak, and he felt her shivering. She was cold, far too cold. Not good. She needed to be warm. Wet. She would dry out quickly if they didn't get her to the infirmary.

**_It's Ok, I'm here_**, Jake thought, even though he knew that Selmak couldn't hear him. She was screeching and hissing too weakly.

"Don't feel... so good," Jake gasped, as everyone was busy talking to everyone else but him.

Didn't anybody care?

God.

It was **_quiet_**.

No humming. No giggles. No illicit comments.

Alone.

Getting dark. Very dark.

Very alone.

No Sel.

At the end.

_**Because he wasn't good enough. **_

As it had always been world without end.

"I don't have a pulse," someone shouted, but it didn't bother him because he was far too weak to care. "He's in arrest."

"Annie, I'm coming home," he thought as he felt the ground rush up to meet him.

* * *

Jake wasn't breathing. He wasn't **_breathing_**. She could hear his heart begin to falter and fade into a limping rhythm. Selmak tried to call the others' attention to it, but they were all standing around doing nothing. No one understood her. She was cold, afraid.

Jake was dying.

No one would help.

She screamed as loud as she could when his heart stopped, but no one understood her.

Cold. Afraid. Jake dying. Her fault.

Someone grabbed Jake roughly and then they pressed down _**HARD**_ on her. Frightened, injured and unable to communicate with anyone, she did what she could to defend herself and her host. She couldn't see, but she could smell, hear and taste and her teeth were sharp. Savagely she bit whomever it was, delighting in that fact that she tasted blood when she bit... and that she heard O'Neill's screams when she bit him over and over again.

_Him._

_**O'Neill. **_

Hurting **_her_** Jacob. She would willingly die to defend her host from **_him_**.

Recklessly, she bit him again and again until someone grabbed her by the neck. Spitting and hissing, Selmak tried to bite the hand that held her, but then she realized it was Hammond. Couldn't bite Hammond. **_Couldn't_**. Hammond was Jacob's only friend. Afraid. Had to trust Hammond. But cold. Very cold.

* * *

"Jesus Christ!" Hammond swore as he held a rather irate, bloody symbiote with both hands.

It wasn't easy holding a squirming, blood-spattered, hissing, easily two-and-a-half-foot long slippery symbiote that had been delightedly mauling Jack O'Neill, in your bare hands, Hammond thought. It had been Jake Carter's own luck that Hammond had managed to grab Selmak before she bit O'Neill for the fifth time.

Selmak was hysterical one moment, and then somehow, she must have realized who was holding her, because she went completely flaccid except for her intense quivering and her weak crooning. Damn it, he'd swear that Selmak was trying to talk to Jacob.

"Captain, give your jacket," Siler said quickly. "We'll wrap Selmak in it. She's no doubt freezing, as the Gate room is only seventy degrees. Colonel O'Neill doing chest compressions on her probably terrified her. Give me the jacket."

"It bit me!" O'Neill roared to the uncaring crowd. "That little... **_snake_**... bit me. **_Repeatedly_**."

"Colonel, you'll **_live_**. Right now I'm not so sure about Jacob," Frasier retorted while she continued doing chest compressions. She then flinched when she realized that perhaps she shouldn't have said that considering Jacob's daughter was standing behind her. "I need suction to clear his airway. There's a lot of blood here."

Siler bundled Selmak securely in Carter's jacket while George held onto the symbiote, and then George handed Siler the finished package.

"Get him down to the infirmary," Hammond ordered, not sure what the hell they could do for Selmak, but figuring that Janet Frasier could handle it.

"Careful," O'Neill said dryly as one of the medics was applying assorted gauze pads to his hand, "It **_bites_**."

Hammond saw Siler's less than enthusiastic reaction to that news, "Sergeant, I can assure you that as long as you don't **_bother_** Selmak, he won't bite."

"Is he looking for a new host?" Siler asked in some concern at the symbiote and then at her former host.

"No, not yet," Hammond assured him.

"But it might be on the lookout, Sparky, so be careful," O'Neill said, wincing as the medic began tying off the kling dressing to hold everything in place. "Do you have to tie it so tight?"

"Colonel O'Neill, you have given me a wonderful idea. **_You'll_** take Selmak down to the infirmary, and I expect you to give him all the courtesy due an alien ambassador," Hammond growled. "**_Dis-missed_**."

Selmak shrieked and screeched when O'Neill took the bundle from Siler, and once O'Neill had the package in his arms, the snake began shivering uncontrollably. It gave another metal bending screech and then the sna... err.. Selmak... began a plaintive whimpering squeal that went right through O'Neill's eye and out the back of his head.

"Sir, is that **_Selmak_**?" Siler questioned O'Neill.

O'Neill nodded his head and then he began gingerly shaking the bundle, as though he was trying to calm a crying baby.

"Come on, I'm not going to hurt you, even though you bit my thumb off," O'Neill growled.

After that bit of reassurance, it came as no surprise that Selmak's screams became even shriller and more plaintive.

"Colonel O'Neill, what the **_hell_** are you doing to Selmak?" George thundered. "Why are you still standing here? Didn't you hear my direct order to get Selmak down to the infirmary? Shall I repeat it? **_Teal'c_**! **_Siler_**! **_Davis!_** Escort the Colonel down to the infirmary."

The thought crossed Jack O'Neill's mind that perhaps he should take the ... err... SELMAK... down to the infirmary, as Hammond had a look that promised he'd end up in the brig if he didn't.

At a very fast walk.

Because Selmak was injured.

Not because he thought George was about to blow a gasket.

* * *

"Suction. I can't see his cords with all this blood," said the nurse positioned at Jacob's head.

Repositioning the man's head didn't help him sight his patient's vocal cords, which meant he couldn't place the e/t tube, and finally he asked Janet to try it.

"Continue suctioning," Janet said calmly as though a retired two star general, father to one of her closest friends, collapsing on the ramp and vomiting a symbiote was an everyday event. "We've got his heart started, now we just have to get him breathing again. Come on Jacob, you can't make this easy for me?"

Janet Frasier sighed as she would have given just about anything for Jake Carter to make a sarcastic comment right then and there. Something acerbic... Maybe he'd quip about the fact that his shirt had been ripped open by a bunch of over eager females.

"Well, no, Jacob Carter can't do that," Janet continued talking. "You were supposed to be in the infirmary with Selmak an hour ago. But no, you had to be in the Gate Room. Ah... that's where your friends have been hiding, right in plain sight.... Suction..."

From years of experience, Janet placed the e/t tube easily down her patient's throat and then she began securing it. It would be just like Jake Carter to rip it out of his throat.

"Breath sounds?" she questioned.

"Equal, bilateral."

"Hyperventilate," Janet decided as her second began bagging the unconscious general energetically. She then began sprouting off various arcane words and her team responded quickly and professionally. "Epi. Bolus. Ekg showing?"

"He's bradying down, Doctor but he is a sinus rhythm. No ectopy noted."

His heart was slowing down, but it was still beating regularly. Thank God.

"Ok. Keep an eye on his pulse rate. If it drops below 50 let me know. Now we've got to get him to the infirmary."

She was surprised when George Hammond offered his hand to assist her off the floor. His blue eyes were full of concern for his friend, but his voice was calm.

"Prognosis, Doctor?"

"I'm not sure," Janet admitted. "Sir, I've already put a request in for blood. We may to have to transfuse him as he was slightly anemic before this happened. I can just imagine what his blood counts look like now."

She looked at the blood-spattered ramp with a look of distaste.

"I've got the same type so I'll roll my sleeve up." Hammond joked as he looked at his beefy, short-sleeved arm. "Just don't think you're drilling for oil when you go for my vein."

"Oh yes, I forgot, you don't like needles, do you?" Janet said with a smile.

* * *

"Captain Carter, your father will be **_fine_**," insisted George Hammond, trying to convey a poise that he did not possess. "By tomorrow, he'll be as cantankerous as ever."

His best friend's daughter gave him a weak smile, and he sighed inwardly. George normally wasn't exceedingly demonstrative with those under his command, but today was a very strange day. Deliberately, he placed his hands on hers and he gave her hands a quick squeeze.

"He will be," George repeated. "And when he's better, you and I will kick his ass from here to Austin."

"Is that a promise, Sir?" Sam questioned.

Her voice was unsteady, as seeing CPR being performed on her prone father had deeply affected her. There was congealing blood splattered everywhere in the Gate room, as though there had been a firefight of epic proportions, and it was all her father's. She took a final look at the Gate room, and shuddered, letting Hammond herd her toward the door.

"Hell, **_yes_**."

"I better get my steel toed boots," Sam stated quietly.

"Bring a spare pair," George insisted.

* * *

Selmak's whimpering grew less and less pronounced while O'Neill jogged to the infirmary. It's the rocking motion, he thought. It's calming the snake down.

It's dying, and taking Carter's father with it was the dark thought that kept encroaching on his mind.

"Coming through," Siler yelled as the four of them continued their sprint to the infirmary. "Wounded personnel."

Fortunately, the medical staff met them at the door.

"General Carter will be going over there, and you come with me, Colonel. We'll put Selmak in a symbiote holding tank," said one of the nurses. "Teal'c, we'd appreciate your assistance with Selmak. I understand that the symbiote was a little wild earlier. I'd prefer if none of us got hurt putting him into the tank."

"Absolutely, I will do what I can to provide aid," Teal'c answered graciously.

"Ok, first things first, let's put it into the tank," the nurse continued.

It was a different tank than the one they had put Junior into on the few times the symbiote had been separate from Teal'c, Jack noticed immediately. It looked like one of those big lobster tanks that you saw at the fish market, full of live lobsters waiting to go into a pot. This tank was lobster-free fortunately.

"That's a different tank," O'Neill mentioned.

"Yes, the symbiote is too big to put into the regular tank," explained the nurse. "Plus it will be easier for us to care of it. Careful now, Colonel, let's undo the jacket and put the symbiote into the tank."

Unwrapping the symbiote from the ruins of Carter's jacket was surprisingly easy as there was no squirming and no displaying of fangs. Instead... it... **_Selmak_**... was wiggling weakly and making very faint noises.

"Selmak does not appear well," Teal'c announced.

"Here we go," O'Neill said as he gracelessly dropped Selmak into the tank.

Normally when Junior was placed into a tank, the little guy would swim around energetically, giving everyone a baleful look of promised retribution with its crimson eyes. Selmak... well, Selmak sank like a stone to the bottom on the tank. Slowly, arthritically, it curled itself up into a little ball, resting its head on one of its coils, and it closed its little beady red eyes.

"Selmak is bleeding profusely," Teal'c inserted, breaking Jack's train of thought. "You must make her comfortable."

"I've been given my instructions," the nurse retorted quietly. "I'm to put the flowers next to the tank, put the music on, turn the lights down low and leave her alone until Janet can get down here. She's our resident symbiote expert."

"Flowers? For me? You shouldn't have," O'Neill commented dryly.

"They're for the symbiote," the short redheaded nurse snapped as she walked over to where a small bunch of red roses were sitting. "I don't know who they're from, if you're curious."

"I do believe that I am rather curious," Jack admitted a bit sarcastically as the nurse turned away.

A small card, the type that usually went with flowers, fluttered to the floor when the nurse put the flowers down hard next to the tank, obvious in her disbelief that someone would actually send **_roses_** to a **_snake_**. The card's escape was unnoticed by all except for the sharp eyes of O'Neill. Deliberately appearing casual, he grabbed the card off the floor. The card was addressed to SELMAK TOK'RA C/O JANET FRASIER MD. Fortunately, the envelope was unsealed so a one handed man could remove the card.

The handwriting was quite small as though someone had written a book, but if he squinted, he could read it.

_**S – So sorry it didn't work out. Be careful with the roses; they've got their thorns still attached. Thought they'd remind you and your new partner of a certain grouchy general. All my love. JSC**_

"Crap," O'Neill said to himself. "Jake doesn't have any idea what's going on."

* * *

"Ok, let's move him off the gurney, and into the bed. I want a portable chest x-ray, ABG's, labs," Janet Frasier calmly rattled off her demands. "When he's stable, I'll want a cat scan of the head, the chest and his belly. I want to know where this blood is coming from. I also want a complete analysis of the blood in the n/g tube. It might not be human. It might symbiotic, so I'll need to know as soon as possible."

Her orders completed, she nodded her head to her second and then Janet left the room to attend to her other patient. She didn't relish leaving Jacob but she was the resident symbiote expert.

Lucky her.

Both Hammond and Sam stopped the doctor before she could go to the room where Selmak was located.

"He's in grave condition. His blood counts are completely screwed up and there's blood in the n/g tube. It either means Jacob's got a bleed or else..." Janet paused.

"Or else?" Hammond questioned.

"It might be Selmak's. The color doesn't look like any belly bleed I've seen before," Janet said in a rather soft voice. "In a human, that is, so once he's stable, we're running a battery of tests on him. Now, if you don't mind, I have another patient."

Janet gave Sam's hand a reassuring squeeze, and then Sam stopped her with a simple soft-spoken question.

"Should I call Mark?"

"I don't believe that he'd come," Hammond stated softly.

"I know," Sam admitted.

"I'm sorry, I've got to see Selmak," the petite doctor reminded the two people closest to Jake Carter. "I've left Selmak with O'Neill... so I better not risk the two of them being alone together for one minute longer. God knows what O'Neill will do."

"And Selmak," George said in a very dry voice. "I didn't realize that symbiote's teeth were that sharp."

Janet gave Hammond a weak smile in acknowledgement of his attempt to lighten the mood, and she then entered the room where Selmak was. It took only a few seconds before Janet was heard to exclaim, "Colonel O'Neill, what is going on here?"

"Jesus H. Christ, what has he done now?" Hammond muttered softly, ignoring Sam Carter's expression of stunned disbelief at his language.

* * *

Cold.

Alone.

But not for long.

Jacob should be walking through the door any moment, angry and annoyed with her. He'd yell and scream at her, and she'd ignore him. Like she always did, and she'd laugh inwardly as she imagined his face turning crimson. He always got so angry!

Where **_was_** he?

He'd yell at her for biting O'Neill, and instruct her sternly that next time she was to try for the jugulars. She'd croon her agreement that she had been a very bad symbiote, and then she'd rub her wet face against his, as he'd get so angry that she had gotten him wet!

Where _**WAS** _he? How dare he keep her waiting!

Perhaps they were running tests on him.

Yes, that was it, as his heart had faltered after her expulsion. Janet would fix him, he was in **_perfect_** condition as Selmak had fixed everything in him before she had repudiated her host, and Jake should be storming in at any moment. He was perfectly fine! They were just running tests. It always took a moment or two for the host's body to remember how to function without a symbiote. That's what had happened on the ramp. Jake should be fine.

That's why they were running tests. They were so startled with Jacob's perfect health that they **_HAD_** to take a lot of tests.

Long minutes passed, and no Jake.

Trying to hide her unease, Selmak began inspecting her new room. It was a little bit chilly and uncomfortable. There was nothing soft for her to rest her aching head on, so she closed her eyes and rested her head as well as she could. Selmak crooned a little tune to herself, trying to keep a positive outlook in spite of her increasing concerns, and then she stopped when she realized that she could hear music.

**_Opera_**.

Jake's music.

Jake was there, she just couldn't see him. Jake was fine! He had just stopped to instruct the technicians to play the music. That was it! He was being his usual difficult self and making her wait. What a **_brat_** he was!

He'd come in shortly, so she needed to appear bright eyed and healthy. For a few minutes, she swam laps energetically around the tank, wanting to appear in better shape than she was. Then something else drew her attention.

Fuzzy bright colors, outside of her tank. A slight smell that was familiar to her.

**_Roses_**? Jake had gotten her **_roses_**!

He'd be in shortly to see her, and she wanted to make sure that Jacob would know that she appreciated the roses. If she stretched... she could probably reach them. It would hurt, but she could pull one stem into the tank with her, and she could smell it better that way. Jake would enter the room. Her former host would start screaming at her and she'd just smile at him while she sniffed the sweet scent of the roses and listened to the music.

It would really piss him off.

And she'd have her roses.

Inching her way up the side of the tank was difficult, but she managed. Then Selmak found the way partially barred by a screen of some sort. If she pushed, she could probably move it just enough that she could stretch and get the rose.

The screen wasn't so hard to jar out of position with repeated battering by her nose, but the stretching required to obtain her objective was painful. Her skin was drying out and she **_hurt_**... It also took a great expenditure of energy that she didn't posses, but in time, she wrapped herself securely around one of the roses.

She chortled painfully when she realized that Jake had left the thorns **_ON_**.

What a pain in the ass her Jacob was.

Her mission accomplished, and she was almost back into the tank when Janet Frasier started screaming.

* * *

"**_What_**?" O'Neill stated loudly. "I didn't do anything."

"Selmak's out of the tank, Colonel," Janet said in a very stern voice.

Jack stopped staring at a card in his hand long enough to glance at the tank. Yes, that long slithering snake thing was partially out of its container. It was dragging a rose back into the tank and with a loud plop both snake and flower were in the tank. It swam around for a few laps, towing the rose behind with it, until the rose was perfectly placed. Then ... Selmak... curled up next to the rose and closed its eyes.

Just another day at the office, Jack thought dryly, if you worked for the Men in Black.

"It's redecorating," Jack offered helpfully.

Janet sighed.

"Janet, Selmak lied to Jake," Jack then offered the diminutive doctor the card. "Jake thought that Selmak had another host available. But if Cassandra's right and if Selmak's dying..."

"She is," Teal'c inserted quietly. "There are no other hosts available for Selmak. The Tok'Ra were angry at Selmak's decision, but they agreed that the separation was in Jacob Carter's best interest. They will return for her body in one week but they will be looking for a host as they do not wish to lose Selmak."

"You didn't think to mention this?" Jack questioned.

"It was discussed during the meeting with the Tok'Ra. Selmak explained why the separation must occur and that Jacob Carter would not be injured in the process," Teal'c explained.

"Did you miss us performing CPR on him?" Jack asked in a loud voice. "I think **_that's_** an injury."

"Evidently, something has gone terribly wrong," Teal'c stated the obvious in a very quiet voice.

"You think?" Jack questioned in an insincere voice. "Oh for crying out loud! Teal'c, what do you say? We go to some of those coordinates and try to locate a Tok'Ra or two to tell us what's going on."

"It's not what Selmak wants," Teal'c stated firmly in his no-nonsense voice.

"But Jake wasn't informed. I also don't think he would have agreed to it, if he knew he was going to end up coding on the ramp," Jack defended. "The Tok'Ra also know a great deal more about what's happening than we do. We need to get one of their docs to come back with us to help Jake, plus Selmak. Nothing personal, Doctor, but Selmak does look rather blue at the moment."

Teal'c raised one expressive eyebrow, plainly expressing his amusement with Jack O'Neill.

"Selmak looks to be in pain. We should get her some Tok'Ra-morphine or something. It's the civilized thing to do," O'Neill protested.

"Colonel?" Hammond's voice was quite surprised by O'Neill's unexpected humanitarian streak toward... Selmak....

"Well, nothing we have affects Junior and to prevent everything from blowing up between us and the Tok'Ra shouldn't we try to give her some happy drugs? They're probably blaming us already for this mess, and they'll get angrier with us if they think we're letting a dying Selmak squirm in pain."

"Colonel, this highly unexpected streak of compassion for Selmak coming from you is rather remarkable," Hammond said in a very dry voice.

O'Neill shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to explain his reasons, and commented, "Well, that's just the type of guy I am. Everyone always thinks the worst of me, I don't know why."

Hammond glared at O'Neill, warning him silently to let him finish talking. "Plus **_extremely_** unexpected. Selmak did bite you."

"Just a flesh wound," Jack stated ironically, trying to ignore the fact that his blood was seeping through the bandage.

"But our relations with the Tok'Ra aren't very good at the moment. I have no doubt that they're laying the blame for Selmak's current condition completely on Jake. There's no way I'm letting my people deal with the Tok'Ra right now as I have no idea how they'll respond," Hammond reminded Jack.

"They do not blame Jacob Carter for what happened, as Selmak has taken full responsibility for their problematic blending," Teal'c inserted. "It was her dying wish that the alliance continue, and Garshaw agreed."

"Teal'c, did you understand that entire meeting?" Hammond questioned.

"Their meeting was held in an extremely rare dialect of Goa'uld. I am familiar with it, as Master Bra'tac insisted that I learn the various dialects while he trained me," Teal'c admitted.

"Do you think that perhaps you should have said something during this meeting?" Hammond barked. "You withheld information."

"General Hammond, Selmak repeatedly stated that no harm would come to Jacob Carter. We knew that that Selmak was ill and the reason why Selmak was ill was because she was separating from Jacob Carter. Her reasons for doing so are morally correct, as she believes that it is the only way to save Jacob Carter. If I were Selmak, my choice would be the same."

That admission earned a look of startled surprise from O'Neill. He trusted Teal'c, loved him like a brother and another unsolicited thought came to his mind.

**_Teal'c had approved of Jacob and Selmak, and had treated them much the same way that he had treated Jack._**

"T?" O'Neill questioned. "You approve of all this?"

"I approve of the reason why it is being done," Teal'c looked at the sick symbiote and then he looked away. "Though I must confess I wish the results were better."

* * *

Approximately an hour later.

Sam Carter, though she was loath to admit to it, could be rather assertive at times.

Pushy even.

The medical staff had attempted politely to remove her from her father's bedside after he had returned from his scans and various x-rays, and she had refused. **_Politely_**. Well... perhaps, not so politely, as Hammond was soon walking into the room.

"Captain, are you creating a disturbance?" General Hammond asked gently.

"No, Sir!" Sam answered quickly.

Hammond gave her a very brief smile before returning to his regular no-nonsense demeanor.

"It's Jacob then. That's the Carter who is pulling rank then, as I heard that one of you is," Hammond stated brusquely. "I don't know how many times I've told your father **_not_** to flash those two stars about. Jacob, you need to stop doing that."

Hammond shook his finger accusingly at the comatose Jacob Carter who, for once, was in no condition to give him any backtalk. Sam shrugged her shoulders and nodded her head.

"Sir, it's **_me_**," she admitted. "I pulled rank on the lieutenant."

"Lieutenant**_s_**," George stressed the plural softly. "How's my old friend doing?"

"The same, I guess," Sam stated in a very exhausted voice as she waved her hand at her unconscious father who was hooked up to more machines than the six billion dollar man.

George stared at Jacob's still body, and he didn't say anything for a while. The hiss of the ventilator and the beeps of the various machines were the only sounds in the room until George shook his head and spoke again.

"More importantly, how's my old friend's daughter doing?"

"I'm fine," Sam insisted immediately.

"Don't do the good solider routine to me, Captain. I've been through that shit with your father, I don't particularly have the desire or the patience to live through it again," Hammond growled.

"Sir?" Captain Carter asked in a surprised voice.

"When your father broke his ankle in a thousand and one pieces," Hammond explained. "That plane crash destroyed your father's chances of ever getting into the Space Program. I talked to him about it, and he blithely assured me that everything was fine and that he had accepted the fact that he would never be in the program. Over and over again, he assured me that the Space Program meant **_nothing_** to him."

"How much do you know about your father's parents?" Hammond questioned Sam.

That question obviously surprised her.

"He never really mentioned them," she admitted. "I never met them as I think they were dead long before I was born."

"Your father and you haven't always seen eye to eye, am I correct?" Hammond questioned before laughing. "Don't answer that, I can tell by the look on your face what the answer is."

"Your father's parents were alcoholics. Jake has the occasional drink but I've only seen him drunk twice. Once was right after your mother died and the other time... hell I would have gotten drunk if I was Jake. What I'm trying to say is, your father had a rather rough childhood as his parents weren't..." Hammond sighed and gestured with his hands.

"I see," said Captain Carter, who didn't understand this conversation in the slightest.

"You don't," Hammond laughed dryly before continuing. "Jake Carter never lets anyone know what's important to him because he knows intuitively that it will be taken from him. The reason he joined the Air Force is because one of his teachers gave him the goal of going to space.**_That was his goal, the end all and be all of his existence was to get to the moon, as it would have proved to anyone and everyone, especially his parents that Jake Carter wasn't a failure_**. Then, due to a fluke electrical short, his chance was destroyed. I can't even begin to tell you what happened to Jake when your mother died. Your mother was the only person your father ever let behind his emotional walls."

Sam smiled sadly. "I lived through it, Sir, you don't need to explain it to me."

"Do you? Do you **_really_** understand? That the reason why he pushed you away was because of his absurd obsession over his belief that Jacob Carter destroys everything he cares about because he is **_fundamentally_** flawed? Captain Carter, do you **_understand_** what I'm trying to tell you?" Hammond asked intently.

There was a very loud squeal from the other room, a wet splash and assorted odd sounds, and with one motion, they both looked toward the doorway. Then they both shook their heads, and turned their gazes back onto the silent Jake.

"Selmak..." Sam whispered. "If he dies..."

"I barely kept him in one piece during your mother's funeral and I... forgive me for saying this, but as an old friend of your father's, I don't think he's stable enough to handle Selmak dying. He'll blame himself until his dying day, Captain. Do you have any suggestions on how to contact the Tok'Ra for help?"

Sam thought hard, straining to grasp the tattered wisps of Jolinar's memories. It was like chasing after insubstantial mist.

"No, I don't." Sam admitted that softly, feeling like the world's biggest failure at being a daughter and being an Air Force Officer.

Rubbing her aching eyes for just a moment, she had a flash. **_Jolinar_**. Selmak. A silver pyramid. Selmak-Saroosh talking quietly to someone. A male. Tall, dark haired. Selmak had closed the transmission immediately upon noticing Jolinar's interest. It was a toy, Selmak claimed. Jolinar had thought it was a communication device of some sort. But the Tok'Ra didn't normally have communication devices... that's how Cordesh had gotten tripped up.

Jolinar had thought that Selmak had been testing a secured form of the telecommunications device the Goa'uld had used. Because of what had happened to Jana, Selmak's previous host, it was a silent understanding among the Tok'Ra that Selmak-Saroosh had spent a great deal of time in their labs and that was their contribution to the war against the Goa'uld.

"Is there a silver pyramid?" Sam blurted.

"Pardon me?" Hammond questioned quickly.

"It's a communication device. We can contact the Tok'Ra with it," Sam's voice shook in her excitement. "It's small; you can hold it in your hand easily. Where are his clothes? Selmak must have brought it with him."

More splashing and a louder squeal were heard from the room next door.

"What is going on in that room?" Hammond growled, as he began rummaging through Jacob's clothing.

"Beats me, Sir," Sam admitted, before she gasped in horror. "Oh God, he has **_that_** picture?"

Sam grabbed the offending picture quickly in a vain attempt to prevent General Hammond from seeing it. The General gave her a very sardonic smile.

"I've seen it already. You had pigtails and I believe that you were missing a few of your front teeth, Captain."

"You've seen it?" Sam blurted, her face the color of sunburn.

"He always kept in his pocket. Jake always carries a picture of your mother on their wedding day, a picture of Mark on a swing and that particular picture of you. They are his good luck charms," Hammond informed her quietly. "He never goes anywhere without them. I have my own pictures that I carry."

"Captain, I have to admit that I wasn't very sure about your father when I first met him, and crashing the plane on our first flight together had me **_quite_** concerned. We were sitting there in the Florida panhandle waiting for a rescue team to show up, and he pulled the pictures out to show them to me. I then showed him my pictures, and that was the start of a very odd friendship. But Jake never carried anything like this..." Hammond's drawl slowed as he picked up a very small, shiny pyramid that appeared to be made of a silvery metal.

"Looks like Tok'Ra technology to me," Hammond quipped after a long silence.

"Nothing like I've ever seen before," Sam admitted.

Hammond gave her a slight grin as Sam blushed, realizing how stupid that sounded coming from her.

"Shall we open the gate to the last coordinates? Send a message through to the Tok'Ra?" George suggested.

"Let's..." Sam decided.

By the time they got to the embarkation room, they had picked up several other members of the SGC. O'Neill had been chased from the room by an annoyed Janet Frasier, and he was looking deceptively innocent. Daniel had joined them to tell them what they already knew in reference to Selmak, and Teal'c had also decided to join their party for reasons unknown to anyone but Teal'c.

Hammond ordered Sgt. Davis rather brusquely to open the gate to the coordinates used by the Tok'Ra. Then gingerly, he pressed the pyramid, and waited for the unexpected. It came, but not in the form he was expecting.

"Jacob, who do you wish to speak with?"

That was spoken in a moderately sultry soprano voice that would have easily found a job at a nine hundred number advertising sex, and George tried to ignore O'Neill's quirked eyebrow.

"Anyone," George answered, vainly hoping that the Tok'Ra would be helpful.

"You are **_not_** Jacob," said the female that appeared in response to George's request. "We have been given **_specific_** instructions that we are **_not_** to deal with anyone except **_Jacob_**."

The nondescript blond haired woman matched General Hammond's blue eyed look of steely eyed disapproval easily. Even as Hammond crossed his arms, so did the woman.

"Captain, do you know who she is?" Hammond questioned, failing to hide his annoyance.

Samantha looked at the woman, who then matched her glare for glare. Carter blinked in confusion, and then glanced at General Hammond.

"I have no idea who she is," she admitted slowly. "I believe that she's a Tok'Ra, but I don't know who she is. I think I should know her though."

"Oh, it's someone Jolinar never met?" O'Neill quipped, breaking the silence. "Strange, I thought she was a social butterfly."

"Jack," Daniel Jackson sighed O'Neill's name in a very long suffering tone, before continuing. "You're not helping things."

"You are the O'Neill," the woman stated firmly. "I have been given explicit instructions about you also."

"Sweet," Jack said in a patently fake cheerful tone. "And they were?"

"Selmak advised me not to shoot you, though I would desire it greatly. As always, Selmak was correct," the woman stated, before giving an annoyed O'Neill a regal head nod.

"That's it!" Samantha exclaimed. "Selmak... you're.... **_Soran_**? You're Selmak's first host, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am the First," Soran admitted. "You are Jacob's daughter, former host of Jolinar."

O'Neill raised his hand in dissent and protested, "Unwilling host!"

"Advise the O'Neill that while Selmak has given me specific directives, I still possess free will. I am Tok'Ra, not Goa'uld." Soran stated firmly.

"And that's supposed to mean?" O'Neill questioned loudly, his disgust with the Tok'Ra evident to one and all.

"Jack, she's going to shoot you if you don't keep your mouth shut. That's what it means!" Daniel Jackson hissed.

"For cryin' out loud! She's dead! Or at least, I'm assuming that she should be, as Selmak's thirty billion years old," O'Neill protested. "Besides, she's rather see-through."

Walking quickly to where Soran stood, O'Neill waved his hand through the figure easily, his hand creating rippling waves throughout Soran's body.

"It's a whatchamachallem – a Hologram," he said. "She can't..."

He had almost finished whatever he was saying, when Soran's figure clasped her two hands together and gave a mighty swing, catching O'Neill underneath his chin. 'Twas a mighty blow as O'Neill landed on his back, even as Soran made a very satisfied head nod.

"Hurt me..." he finished in a stunned voice even as he rubbed his jaw. "Great, first the hand, now the jaw. What is **_it_** with Selmak?"

"Selmak made no mention of hand to hand combat, I must confess," Soran said very dryly. "I would warn you not to do that again as several of Selmak's hosts have extensive hand to hand combat experience."

"Soran, please," Samantha interrupted quickly as it was readily apparent that Soran desired to smite O'Neill several more times to prove to one and to all how well trained she was in the field of martial arts. "It's regarding my father. I think there's a problem."

Soran tilted her head for a moment, as though listening to silent voices that only she could hear.

"Has there been a problem with the repudiation?" Soran questioned.

"Yes, he's not awake, and it's been several hours."

"Take the device to his bedside and then turn it back on. It is very important that you state that you wish to speak to Mara and Norak. They will be able to assist you."

Soran regally folded her hands together, and nodded once toward Samantha and then once again toward Hammond even as she faded from view.

* * *

Janet Frasier was watching the comatose Jacob Carter carefully, inwardly wondering what she was going to tell Samantha when she asked about her father. Samantha was her best friend, and Janet had learn to depend on that relationship in the 'man's world' of the USAF.

**_I can't tell her the truth that I have no idea how he is. He should be awake. But he isn't, and the only person that knows what's going on is floating in a tank not even twenty feet away from me. _**

Mentally, she sighed when she heard the unmistakable sounds of the SG1 Cavalry entering the room.

**_I have to tell her the truth. Selmak is the only one that knows what's happening and we can't speak to her. Maybe I could ask Teal'c to have Junior translate. _**

Biting her lip, she prevented herself from laughing, the nervous laughter still threatening to bubble up. Taking a few deep breaths, she composed herself and turned to face SG1.

She wasn't expecting O'Neill to be spotting a livid bruise on his jaw.

"Colonel O'Neill? What happened?" Frasier questioned.

"One of Selmak's previous hosts wasn't impressed with his wit and charm, so she gave him a little love tap," Daniel Jackson explained when it was obvious O'Neill wouldn't explain.

"Selmak's previous hosts?" Frasier questioned. "What are you talking about? The Tok'Ra are here? Are they going to help?"

"The Dead Tok'Ra are here, and apparently offering their assistance," O'Neill stated cheerfully.

"Holograms," Daniel Jackson explained. "The long and the short of it is, Selmak's given them instructions about what they can and can not do."

"The one we met seemed to possess enough free will to go beyond her implicit instructions," Teal'c stated dryly.

"And they're going to help?" Janet questioned, plainly confused about the less than coherent explanations.

Samantha took the pyramid and twisted it. It glowed briefly, and then Samantha requested to speak with Mara and Norak.

"Are you sure that's wise, Captain?" Hammond questioned.

"No," she admitted. "But if it would help my father, I'd talk to Apophis. I don't know if my father has enough time left for us to weigh the potential consequences."

"Jack, I think you should get your jaw seen," Hammond stated in a quiet voice that brooked no disagreement. "Doctor Jackson, Teal'c, if you don't mind, I'm sure Colonel O'Neill would appreciate your company while he gets examined."

O'Neill looked startled, and his mouth was opened in mid-protest even as Jackson and Teal'c 'escorted' him out of the room.

* * *

Mara was a tall woman, her features hidden behind numerous veils, except for her warm, dark brown eyes. She was escorted by a tall man with glowing eyes, who appeared willing to let Mara do most of the talking. Mara placed both of her hands onto Samantha's and she nodded once.

"Do not be fearful, sometimes it takes time for the host's body to remember how to function without a symbiote. Your father is ..."

"Stubborn," inserted Norak's host helpfully.

Mara gave the much taller Norak a stern look, and wagged one disapproving finger in his direction.

"Jeralt, behave yourself. Samantha, as I was saying, your father is strong-minded," Mara retorted softly. "Norak and I will ascertain that there is nothing wrong, but for now, we would speak to Janet."

"I'm **_not_** leaving," Samantha insisted fiercely. "You **_can't_** make me, and I **_won't_**."

Sam's intensity earned a nod of acknowledgement from Mara, and Samantha swore that Mara was smiling behind her veil.

"Very well," Mara acquiesced. "But would it be possible to speak with Janet in private? Norak and I need to be informed of the current situation, and perhaps you and the General could get... a cup of coffee...?"

Mara looked at Norak, who nodded once.

"Yes, coffee, that strangely bitter drink. I do not understand how you can drink it," Mara questioned. "It must be an acquired taste."

"Captain, let's go get a cup of coffee," Hammond inserted into the conversation. "After you have lunch, you can come back to see how your father is doing, as I'm sure Janet will contact you if there are any problems."

Samantha opened her mouth to protest when Hammond gave her a rather intense look. She had been in the military long enough to know what THAT look meant.

"Yes, Sir! Getting coffee sounds like a great idea!"

Janet Frasier watched in mild annoyance as Samantha and Hammond left the room. Hammond had cleared everyone from the room that knew anything of what was going on at a pace akin to a forced march, leaving Janet with two see-through people.

The lady was taller than her, but then again everyone was taller than she was, and the woman was dressed in exotic silks, with only her eyes and her hands uncovered. The rather handsome, dark haired male was taller and even more muscularly built than Teal'c, and he wore a leather kilt of all things! But the kilt did show off his legs, she had to admit.

Wonderful, she sighed to herself. Who the hell are these people?

The woman was standing next to Jacob's bedside, and she placed one hand on his forehead.

"Jacob, you are being **_exceedingly_** difficult and an extremely large pain in the ass. You have succeeded in scaring your daughter and you have caused Hammond to lose the remainder of his hair. You can wake up now, sleepyhead."

Mara spoke in a very gentle, loving voice to the comatose Carter, and Janet nearly gasped in surprise when everything clicked.

"**_Selmak_**?" Janet questioned.

The woman turned to face Janet, and nodded once before speaking in that unique symbiotic voice.

"Did you think so little of me, that you believe that I would leave my Jacob unattended and alone?"


	10. Can't Cry

_I'm gonna live my life  
Like everyday's the last  
Without a simple goodbye  
It all goes by so fast  
And now that you're gone  
I can't cry hard enough  
No I can't cry hard enough  
For you to hear me now_

_Can't Cry Hard Enough - The Williams Brothers _

**_? Bold Italics ?_** Is when Selmak is thinking to Jacob so he can hear her.

**_Story:_**

**_The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General _**

**_Let Me Go Home – Part 10_**

**_Rating: PG – 13 _**Jake and Sel do curse a bit.

**_Synopsis: _**When we last left our Symbiote, her host had repudiated her on the ramp in the middle of the Gate Room. At this time, Jacob Carter is in critical condition, leaving Janet Frasier to wonder about her career choice.

_

* * *

_

"Selmak?" Janet questioned again. "I know you wouldn't leave Jacob… but I am very confused right now."

"In a way, I am Selmak," the woman answered. "I am the second of her hosts. May I introduce Jeralt, host of the symbiote, Norak. Norak and Jeralt were Selmak and Jana's mates. Norak trained extensively as a healer."

"The First Host was the one that nearly broke the O'Neill's jaw," rumbled Jeralt with a rather crooked smile. "I'm disappointed that I didn't see it. Soran does not tolerate fools easily, and it appears that her notoriously short temper has become even shorter over the years."

Jeralt's easy laugh filled the room, and Mara shook her finger at him.

"Behave, Jeralt."

The large man's head bobbed, and then Norak laughed even as his eyes flashed, "Admit it, you thought it was extremely funny, Mara…"

"I thought it well deserved," Mara admitted, as she removed the veil from her face. "But we're here for far more important reasons. Jacob is not waking up."

Norak walked over to Jacob's bedside, and then he shook his head after staring at the various machines. Turning to face Mara, Norak waved his arms to encompass the entire room full of state of the art equipment.

"Barbaric, isn't it? What I would do for a healing device," he growled in a deep symbiotic burr. "But Janet, may I ask why Selmak is not in the same room as Jacob? Selmak is almost blind in her natural form, but her other sense are acute."

"Selmak must be frantic, wondering what has happened to Jacob," Mara agreed.

* * *

Janet's voice grew hoarse quickly from answering questions. The two… three? holograms were highly skilled in the medicinal arts, though Janet realized that there was only several thousand years' difference in technique and equipment. The three..err… four of them could agree on one important issue, Jacob should have woken up by now and it was a grim sign that he hadn't. 

Norak would rattle off a few chemical compounds, and Mara, having both Selmak's science background and knowledge of Jacob's college chemistry courses, would regretfully shake her head.

"They can not produce that compound."

The two continued conversing rapidly and Janet took a long swallow of water, wanting a chance to reflect on the current situation. Mara had been Selmak's host, and the Norak/Jeralt duality had been Selmak's mate, yet the two… err… three of them had given the most perfunctory of glances at the symbiote when her tank had been rolled next to Jacob's bed. The glance had been all too familiar, as Janet, had never grown accustomed to it, despite of all her years in the medical field. A family member, viewing the dying, glancing quickly so as not to allow the fragile walls of self-control to slip in front of strangers.

Taking another sip, Janet focused on Selmak, who was swimming slowly in the tank, having ceased dragging the rather waterlogged rose behind her. Instead, Selmak hovered in the corner of the tank closest to Jacob, keeping a watchful eye on him.

**_Selmak's skin color is bad, as is Jake's. Dear God, we're going to lose both of those stubborn, overly protective fools, aren't we?_**

**_

* * *

_**

"Captain Carter, I understand that you're worried about your father, but don't make me order you to eat lunch," Hammond drawled slowly.

"Yes, Sir," Sam agreed for the fourth time, even as she played with her food.

It was like dealing with his four year daughter when she had been refusing all food except for pb&j sandwiches. She had taken to moving her food around on her plate, so it would look like she had eaten something green and healthy.

George sighed, rubbing his hand through his non-existent hair, and he growled, "You are so much like your father, do you know that?"

Samantha gave her commanding officer a weak smile, and shrugged her shoulders, before admitting, "I've been hearing that a lot lately. All this time, I prided myself on taking after my mother."

"Don't get me wrong, Captain. You are a great deal like your mother, I should know, as I knew her very well. My wife and your mother were the hell raisers of Eglin Air Base. Your father and I were constantly interceding with the MPs."

That quip earned an ear to ear smile from Carter as she knew Hammond was teasing her, so she decided to rib her commanding officer slightly.

"Mom always said it was the two of **_you_**." Sam's bright smile faded as she stood up quickly, nearly knocking over her chair in her haste, "I'm sorry, General, I just have this feeling I need to return the infirmary. I'm sorry, Sir, I'm going."

* * *

Hammond found himself following Samantha out of the cafeteria. She was walking quickly, a stride that was close to running, and yet she took a round about way. George tried not to show his unease when he saw the captain stop in front of locked armory closet and begin to rummage through it, obviously looking for something. All of Selmak's Tok'Ra Toys had been locked into a specific closet after Jake's collapse and only he and Samantha had keys. 

_**Dear God. She's getting out the healing device. **_

Samantha nodded her head, and stuffed the device into a pocket.

"I've got to get up there. Something's really wrong. I can feel it, Sir."

* * *

"Jacob's blood pressure is dropping. Heartbeat is erratic," Mara stated quietly. "He will be in cardiac arrest shortly." 

Even while Janet was calling the code, she saw Hammond and Samantha storm into the room. The long, flat tone of a monitor displaying a stopped heart filled the air and Samantha walked over to her father's side. She slipped the healing device on her hand and tried to focus.

Janet protested vainly, advising Sam to move but Sam was unhearing and uncaring, as she continued reaching inside of herself.

She had to save her father. That growing sense of unease had been bothering her all day, until it had threatened to become an emotional hurricane.

She had to save her father.

He was in trouble.

_**Modern medicine, what a joke. **_

Where did it mention joint possession of a human body by a sentient symbiote?

_**Tok'Ra medicine to heal a Tok'Ra problem.**_

Mentally straining, she tried to reach for Jolinar's memories. Jolinar had used the healing device numerous times, she recalled. In spite of not being trained as a healer, Jolinar had possessed a knack for the device.

Fighting, mentally straining, wrestling with mental shadows, she felt Jolinar for just a moment. A bust of energy that seemed to come from her very bones filled her and she felt the device activate. Her father seized on the bed, his back arching off the bed, his dead, uncomprehending eyes open and staring at her with reproach even while the symbiote Selmak began shrieking.

"He's in V-Tach! He's having a cardiac seizure!"

A voice, strangely familiar to her, began speaking to her.

"Captain Carter, listen to me. Close your eyes. You need to ground yourself. Close your eyes… listen to me. You can help your father, but you have to listen to me."

* * *

Janet began snapping orders to her assembled crew, even while second guessing what she was seeing. Samantha had attempted to use the healing device on her father. It had been an act of complete desperation, and it hadn't worked. If anything, Samantha Carter had just killed her own father. The two holograms had disappeared, to be replaced by an older man in a dated Air Force uniform. His white hair was trimmed in a neatly buzzed crew top, his one hand replaced by a hook, and an eye patch covering an empty socket. 

Yet the figure spoke in Jacob's voice to Jacob's daughter.

"Center yourself, Captain."

Samantha shook her head in objection, her blue eyes filling with tears.

"I can't do this, I killed him," she protested, as she rubbed her hand across her eyes to prevent the tears from falling. "I can't control the device."

"Ground yourself," the figure repeated in a very quiet voice.

* * *

Samantha was trembling, like little girl she had once been a very long time ago, who had fallen from her bicycle. It was the first day she had been on an "adult" bike without the training wheels. She had skinned her knees and her father had cleaned them with iodine. It had stung, and she had cried uncontrollably, much to her father's flustered chagrin. Her mom would have given her an ice pop to soothe her frazzled nerves, but not her dad. 

Jake had made her get back on the bike.

"Don't wanna!" Sam had wailed in protest. "I don't wanna get on a bike ever again!"

"Get back on the bike, Sam." Her father had insisted repeatedly until Sam had found herself back on the bike.

It had been shaky at first, and her father had continued talking to her, walking next to her as she slowly pedaled.

Why she was thinking of that _now_?

"Ground yourself, Captain. Feet are firmly on the ground; let the power come from within. Focus on the power. Do you feel it? Embrace it; accept it, as it is part of you. Now think of your father healthy…."

The power flooded her again and this time instead of forcing and fighting it in a feeble attempt to control it, she embraced and accepted it. It left her gently, unlike the earth shattering climax of her first attempt.

Mere moments before everything went black; Sam was rewarded with the sound of a steady beep.

* * *

Samantha had attempted the healing device again, even as Janet was about to inform her in no uncertain terms to put the device away before someone else got hurt. This time, Jacob's heart beat had strengthened and steadied, and his arched body had eased back onto the mattress. 

Now there was new problem, as a frightened Jake seemed determined to rip the tube out of his throat, irrespective of the damage he would cause.

"Jacob, stop fighting it. Listen to me," Janet kept her voice calm and soothing. "Don't rip the tube out."

Janet continued talking to Jacob, and she tried to ignore the sound of the ruckus caused by Samantha Carter passing out cold. General Hammond, having years of experience of dealing with the various Carters, had fortunately decided to keep an eye on this era's problematic Captain Carter, and he had grabbed her before she smacked face first onto the floor. Jacob had a fine view of that problem, and he attempted to get out of the bed to help his daughter again even though he was still hooked up to a vent.

"Valium!" Janet ordered. "Restrain his hands!"

Her crack staff had already prepared the syringe, and with a practiced ease, Janet slammed the syringe into Jacob's IV port.

"Jacob, this is enough Valium to take the edge off. I don't want you ripping the tube out. Listen to me, I'll take the tube out when I'm sure you can breathe on your own, and you can actually do it for more than **_two_** or **_three_** breaths. Understood?"

Jake nodded his head, and he eased back onto the bed. But his hands grabbed Janet's and he pulled them closer to him.

"What is it?" Janet questioned, trying to hide her exasperation over the amount of time it was taking to restrain his hands.

He opened her palm, and he traced his finger over it. A squiggly motion, like a snake.

"S?" Janet questioned again.

Jacob nodded, before gesturing with his right hand. Two fingers upright.

"Samantha and Selmak?"

Nod of Jake's head but then a shake.

"Why don't I give Jake a pen and paper?" Daniel inserted before he handed a pad and pen to Carter senior.

"Oh good, I wasn't ever any good at charades," Jack inserted.

Jack's quip earned a roll of Jake's eyes.

"How about Jack and I leave?" Daniel offered, even as Teal'c not so gently spun O'Neill around to the exit.

Janet nodded her head and smiled weakly. Times like this she wished she was flipping burgers.

Yeah, right.

"Listen to me. Samantha used the healing device on you. She fainted after she used it. I have Dr. Carmichael checking her out. Selmak…" Janet paused, and then decided to give Jacob a half-truth. "She seems to be doing fine, she's doing as well as can be expected."

That admission earned a long penetrating look from Jacob, and then he scrawled a few words.

**_S black out – bad!_**

"I think she put a little too much of herself into it," Janet explained quickly, not knowing why she said that, but knowing instinctively it was true.

That earned another nod from her patient, and then he stared over her shoulder. The man in the archaic Air Force Uniform, matched Jacob stare for stare, then nodded his head once in acknowledgement.

**_U C Man – hook - patch? Drugs? Dying?_**

"It's a hologram. I believe that he is Selmak, though I'm uncertain why Selmak is appearing that way," Janet admitted. "I would have thought that he would have appeared as you."

Jake shook his head and scribbled quickly. He showed her the piece of paper and then he put out his hand, fingers extended.

**_C Rank? _**

Janet read, looked at his hand, counted the fingers and then glanced quickly at the hologram, and her eyes landed on the rank insignia. Not two stars, like Janet had been expecting. **_Five stars_**.

"Outranking everyone, including Hammond, Joint Chiefs of Staff," Janet murmured.

That earned a nod of his head and then he scribbled a novel.

**_Telling me she's in charge. Not George/you. Mark – Colonel - never General. Tired. Sleep now. Be good. Promise. Want tubes out!_**

With that, Jacob closed his eyes, as the Valium finally took affect. Janet took the pad and pen away from him, and she turned to look at Selmak.

"**_Mark_**?" Janet questioned.

"Jacob has truly only listened to one person in his life. I thought it might be useful to take on his aspect just in case Jacob proved obstinate, unlikely as that would be, as I've always found Jake extremely pleasant and exceedingly tractable. Besides, I don't think anyone would have understood me, if I had appeared as a symbiote."

That was said with a very crooked smile.

"I would like to sit with him for a moment, and then I would request that you turn off the device. It is not meant for long term usage," Selmak… **_Mark_**… requested.

Who the hell was **_Mark_**?

He placed his good hand on Jake's forehead and stroked it gently.

"You're always causing trouble, Jacob," Selmak laughed.

* * *

"Jack, Dr. Carmichael says Samantha's going to be fine. She's got to rest," Daniel repeated. "Look, I know you're annoyed that Carmichael tossed us out of the infirmary, but General Hammond agreed." 

"I don't have a problem; do you have a problem with them kicking us out?" Jack questioned, as he stormed down the hallway.

"Jack," Daniel sighed, wondering once again why Jack was deliberately being obtuse and why the many Gods had decided that Daniel Jackson had to deal with him. "I want to ask you a serious question."

"Shoot," Jack retorted.

"And I want you to answer me," Daniel continued.

That caused Jack to stop in mid-stride. He bobbed his head in pretended surprise and gave Jackson the "I'm really stupid look". Daniel felt his teeth grind in annoyance as he really hated it when Jack played dense. He knew it was an act, but it didn't piss him off any less.

"Depends," Jack answered flippantly. "There are some questions I won't answer. Or questions that I can't answer – like why I like Mary Steenburgen so much. It might be her hair, might be her smile…"

"Jack, why do you deliberately antagonize Jacob?" Daniel interrupted.

"He started it," the SG1 CO answered automatically.

"Did not…" Daniel retorted.

"Did too…" Jack insisted.

"Did not…" Daniel answered, even though he knew where this entirely too familiar conversation was heading.

"Did too!" Jack retorted.

"Did too!"

"_**DID NOT!" **_

Daniel shot Teal'c a dirty look, as the former First Prime of Apophis was silently watching the verbal tennis match with an amused quirk of his eyebrow.

Both Teal'c and Daniel then glared at O'Neill, who then appeared uncomfortable. Then instead of continuing the "Did too" "Did not" conversation until doomsday, O'Neill sighed, "Not here… not in the hallway, ok? How about your office?"

* * *

Selmak crooned to herself as she stared at the blur that was her former host. In her symbiote form, she was almost helpless, unable to see, but she could smell that the blur was her Jacob. 

Something had happened to Jacob. There had been a lot of movement and sounds that had made no sense to her. Then there had been the unmistakable feel of a healing device being activated… not once… but twice… and then more movement and more noise.

Janet had been there, as had been other familiar aromas. George. Teal'c. The O'Neill. Samantha… but their aromas had been different - as though tainted with fear and worry.

Now her Jacob was lying on the bed. No one else was there, and she wondered anew about her former host. Thinking deeply for a moment, she then began working energetically on her escape. She'd be able to leap from the tank to where her Jacob was, and then she'd know exactly what was happening. First, she had to move the lid from the tank…

* * *

"Now, Captain Carter, Sgts. Siler and Davis have kindly volunteered to give you a ride home," George informed her. 

The two Sgts., at least, had the grace not to protest the verbiage that Hammond used. **_Volunteered_** wasn't the correct term, try **_drafted _**or**_ Explicit Order from Their C.O., _** as being closer to the truth, but since today's Air Force was a volunteer enlistment rather than draft, they had volunteered to agree that they had volunteered.

Like he knew she would, Samantha Carter protested, until George had enough.

"Captain Carter, do you see the **_stars_** on my shoulders?" He questioned in a very soft, very dangerously quiet voice.

Samantha looked puzzled, as did Frick and Frack… errr… Siler and Davis, and George tried not to growl.

"Yes, I do, Sir?" She questioned in a confused tone.

"I thought perhaps someone had replaced them," he retorted, "As I know, that you would **_never_** refuse a direct order from your Commanding Officer."

Samantha blanched, and she gave a weak smile, "I'd never think of doing that."

"I thought so," George answered before giving her a proud and paternal smile. "See you tomorrow, Captain."

* * *

Jacob was deeply asleep when a twenty pound rock dropped on him. He gasped, trying to breathe, having to fight against the tube that was still in his throat. Then he felt something move, and then whatever it was… rubbed his face. 

_**Wet.**_

Whatever it was, it was **_wet_**. It was also clammy and scaly… and it chirped. Yes, it chirped. In fact, it also twittered and tweeted repeatedly. Then the clammy, scaly, heavy wet thing rubbed itself against his face some more even while its murmuring became a self-satisfied purr.

That contented purr was quite familiar.

She was very proud of herself, no doubt having done a long jump that would have won Gold in the Tok'Ra Symbiote Olympics.

His eyes were still bleary, but he saw Selmak's tank. It was all of three feet away from him. It might as well have been three miles as it would be almost impossible for Sel to hit the small gap between the tank and the cover. Just enough room so she could wiggle out, but not enough room so she could jump back.

**_Selmak. She couldn't stay out of water for long. Where was the call button?_**

His hands were restrained, no doubt due to Janet, the medical Napoleonic power monger that she was, not trusting his promise to behave, and his clumsy fingers searched for the cylindrical call button. He felt it near his left hand, but it rolled away from him, and then he heard it hit the floor.

Janet must have drugged him, as it was an effort to think coherently. Fortunately, the mental fog was lifting, but not fast enough to suit him.

**_Shit. Selmak needs to get back into the tank. Quickly. How do I get anyone's attention? Damn it! I'm tied down and restrained like a sick sexual fantasy and Selmak's going to die because there's no one here! Aren't they supposed to check up on me every so often? Or is everyone taking a long coffee break?_**

Meanwhile Selmak continued to croon softly, apparently completely unconcerned about her looming death by desiccation. He felt her head rub against his chin, and he knew that he was weeping.

_**Selmak. Get back into the tank. Damn you! Get back into the tank.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Meanwhile, Jack had promised to speak to Daniel about his continuing conflict with Jacob and Head Snake, but he didn't say **_WHEN_** he would show up. It was Daniel's own fault that he hadn't wiggled a set time out of him.

His hand hurt, so he figured he'd stop by the infirmary, get some sympathy from someone (but not Janet as she already told him REPEATEDLY that he deserve to be bitten) and then possibly go to Daniel's office. Or maybe he'd go home and have the promised conversation another day. Maybe it would be better to go home, as he wanted to ponder over recent events. Yes, ponder, he thought dryly. Wouldn't everyone be startled if they realized that Jack O'Neill was feeling… introspective?

Since it was later in the evening, the hallways were deserted. Yet, he heard an odd noise, almost a hollow sound. Rhythmic, it took him only a moment to recognize the syncopated three short, three long, three short.

**_SOS?_** Jack thought as his pace quickened.

Turning one of the numerous corners in the SGC, he came face to face with Janet Frasier.

"You hear it?" He questioned.

"ICU room two," Janet snapped as she raced down the hallway.

"Crap, Jacob? What now?" Jack questioned.

* * *

Janet Frasier entered Jacob's room to find the retired general thrashing about and kicking his bed. There was a frantic look in his eyes, and Janet glanced quickly at his vitals. Blood pressure was elevated, pulse up, respirations up. 

Expertly, she grabbed a syringe, and an ampoule of medication. Confirming it was the sedative she required, she quickly and expertly ejected the medication in the medicine port on his IV line. Sam's father continued to thrash about and then his body abruptly stilled.

"What the hell did you give him?" Jack asked wittily. "And more importantly, why can't I get the good stuff?"

Janet Frasier, in spite of being significantly shorter than O'Neill, could intimidate Jack with an ease that would have surprised his Iraqi captors. It only took a narrowing of her eyes, and her itchy trigger finger resting on the plunger of the syringe.

"Ok, forget I asked," Jack mumbled. "Do you think you could rewrap my hand? It's still bleeding."

He waved his injured paw in Janet's direction, but then he noticed that the tank was suspiciously empty.

"Janet? Did our buddies, the Tok'Ra show up with a new host for Selmak? He's not in the tank."

Janet turned and confirmed that Selmak was missing. To give Jack credit, he did bite his tongue as he was tempted to ask Janet, "What don't you think I'd notice if there was a three foot long Head Snake in the tank?"

Or even a very dry quip about "Taking his snake show on the road, I see".

"Shit," Janet swore, earning a surprised look from Jack.

"Your language," he chastised.

"Where the hell is she?" Janet growled.

"Probably visiting Jacob – I think it's symbiotic visiting hours," Jack inserted helpfully, as he could only be good for just so long. "Or maybe he went outside for a smoke."

"Just don't stand there, Colonel. Help me look for her," Janet snapped, as she began rummaging through the sheets on Jacob's bed.

* * *

Selmak was lying close to Jacob, purring her contentment softly. Her Jacob was in wonderful condition. He was in perfect health, though they had him using that breathing machine… ah… respirator… Probably some sort of medical protocols, she guessed. 

Closing her eyes, she chirruped a tender goodbye to her former host. She did love him, even if he was an exasperating, tactless, curmudgeonly grouch of a general, because after all he was **_HER_** cranky, cantankerous curmudgeon.

And to be honest, she also had been called exasperating, tactless and curmudgeonly rather frequently in her life. So often had she been called that, and worse, that she had quite lost count.

It was now time for her to die, and so Selmak ignored the sounds and smells around her, content on surrendering to the peaceful lassitude that was rapidly filling her soul. She had felt like this only once before, when Saroosh had been dying and she had been accepting of her fate.

It was now time to make her peace to the universe.

**_Egeria, I have fought the good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith_**, she thought, borrowing assorted memories from her Jacob, who had derived such power from mere words. **_I am free now, Jacob_**. **_Come lovely and soothing death, undulate round the world, serenely arriving, arriving, in the day, in the night, to all, to each, sooner or later, delicate death._**

She kissed her Jacob one last time, and closed her eyes. Letting her life flash before her eyes, she was content to simply drift away…

Naturally that's when the O'Neill had to ruin **_EVERYTHING_**.

* * *

The old lady snake was found resting next to Jacob, and O'Neill knew what he had to do. Time was running short, as the old lady snake appeared lifeless and dark blue, so he grimaced. Jack heroically grabbed her limp form with his good hand. He then dropped her back into the tank with a very loud **_PLOP, _**as though she was a hot coal. 

Selmak shrieked her protest of ingratitude at full volume when she plummeted into the water. Her entry hadn't even been a graceless sort of nose dive, no, Selmak had literally cannon-balled into the tank thanks to Jack. Jack gave a satisfied nod of his head as his mission had been completed quickly, successfully and without loss of limb, and then Jack heard Janet's sharp intake of breath. He hung his head and his shoulders drooped because he knew Janet wasn't happy with him.

"**_What_**?" he snapped.

"You couldn't have done that a little gentler?" Janet questioned sharply as she began taking care of Selmak. "Instead of throwing her into the tank?"

"I've only got the one hand! I didn't want her to sink her fangs into it!" Jack retorted. "Remember? She bit me?"

Janet shook her head in tired disbelief at O'Neill's O'Neill-iness. "And you hadn't done anything to deserve it," she wisecracked.

"Maybe I sorta deserved it, because Jake was feeling a little thin-skinned," O'Neill protested softly, "But I think sinking her fangs into me was a little uncalled for. She could have slapped me on the wrist with her tail instead of permanently maiming me."

Janet couldn't help it. She snickered, "The General turned down your request for a Purple Heart?"

"I thought it fell under the criteria of Friendly Fire," Jack protested. "Paragraph 6(b) - Individuals wounded or killed as a result of "friendly fire" in the "heat of battle" will be awarded the Purple Heart as long as the "friendly" projectile or agent was released with the full intent of inflicting damage or destroying enemy troops or equipment."

The short doctor pursed her lips, and shook her head, "Did he throw you out of his office?"

"No," Jack admitted. "He just pointed to the door. Where's Carter?"

While waiting for her answer, Jack stared at the beeping monitors surrounding Jacob's still frame.

"Home. I kicked her out of the infirmary, and then General Hammond had Siler and Davis drive her home. They're to pick her up tomorrow morning, as Hammond has her car keys," Janet sighed, then shook her head.

"Protective isn't he?" Jack laughed.

The two of them, Colonel and Doctor, were quiet for a time, each lost in their own thoughts. Selmak's color slowly turned a more normal hue under Janet's tender mercies.

"He's not doing well," Janet stated quietly, breaking the long silence.

"Ya think?" The Colonel retorted before waving his arm in Jake's general direction. "What gave you that idea?

"Not Jake… well, yes… Jake…," Janet shook her head in a vain attempt to settle her thoughts. "**_Hammond_**. The General's not doing well with this."

That surprising admission earned a rapid blink of Jack's eyes. **_Hammond?_** Jack would have sworn that Hammond was steadier than the Rock of Gibraltar. Nothing ever rattled George, not even Jack's mouth… well… **_normally_**.

"The two of them know each other from way back, naturally, he's a little concerned," Jack suggested. "How about I check up on him? Is he still here?"

The diminutive doctor shook her head, "No, he left immediately after he had Captain Carter escorted home. He said something about Longhorn Creek? Do you know where that is? I might have heard him wrong, as that doesn't sound familiar."

Jack whistled, and shook his head. Hammond must not be doing well if he was drinking that rockgut alone. "It's whiskey. Texas whiskey, in fact, the only place they serve it locally is at O'Malley's. I'll go find him."

Janet nodded her head, and thanked Jack.

"No problem, you keep your eyes on that General and his Sidekick, and I'll go keep an eye on the other Two Star," Jack instructed. "Call me if you need me, or if there are any changes."

"Actually, Colonel, I've been ordered home myself by General Hammond. I should have left an hour or so ago," Janet admitted with a very amused smile.

* * *

George Hammond sat in the corner, alone, in a table meant for two. Maybe he should have taken a seat at the bar, rather than taking a table on a busy night, but he really didn't want to talk, especially to the other middle-aged men who were drinking their own sorrows away. Drinking didn't help, it never had and it never would, but tomorrow, he'd have a world… no… universe size hangover in addition to his other problems. 

Swirling the drink in his hand, he stared at the whirlpool he had created. Hammond wondering what, if any, answers he'd get from the bottle.

Nothing useful.

Naturally.

The miniature vortex in his drink reminded him of the kawoosh of a wormhole. Closing his eyes, George again saw Jake Carter striding into the SGC, after Jake had given up his humanity in order to save his life.

Jake had seemed so goddamn cocksure he had done the right thing.

_**Listen, George, because of this blending thing, I already know everything there is to know about the Tok'ra. You made the right call.**_

I hope so, I had told him.

_**I would be proud to serve as liaison between the Earth and these people.**_

"Where did it all go wrong, Jake?" George questioned himself. "Why did I agree to it?"

His eyes still closed, George saw his wife lying in a hospital bed in their living room. She was a bare shadow of herself, all skin and bones, her life almost extinguished by the brutal cancer that filled every nook and cranny. Her fragile skin was paper-thin and her formerly bright green eyes were faded and dull due to the massive amounts of painkillers she was taking just to give her some easement from the pain. He tried not to cry when he realized how the simple act of holding his hand was exhausting her.

"George…" she whispered.

"Don't go, Tess," he pleaded, as he rubbed his free hand against her face. "I'm not ready yet. Thirty years isn't enough, Tess."

She smiled once, and then he had felt the grip on his hand loosen even as her eyes gazed unseeingly toward a distant horizon. For the longest time, it might even have been hours, he had sat there, holding her hand, refusing to believe that his wife was gone, yet knowing in his heart, that she was. He had felt guilty relief, a bitter happiness that Tess was finally free from the pain, yet he was alone.

**_I should call the kids, it wasn't supposed to happen so soon, we thought she had more time_**, he had thought, yet he couldn't leave her. Instead his hand was slowly stroking her hair. **_I have to call someone. Hospice, someone, the doctor, anyone…_**

Dimly, he had heard pounding on the front door, yet he had stayed with his wife. **_In sickness and in health, 'til death you do part._**

"Go away," he had rumbled. "For the love of God, just go away."

He had only a few more moments with her, and how he had feared the long, lonely years ahead of him. How she had smiled, her wicked laugh….

A window had opened, loudly, and he had heard cursing as the intruder gracelessly entered through it, knocking over a few knickknacks. George hadn't looked up as he hadn't care. Let whoever it was, rob the damn house; take everything in it for all he cared, for the woman that had made it a home was gone. It was four empty walls, nothing more, and if burned down to the ground with him inside, he wouldn't have blinked an eye.

"Tess…" George whispered.

The intruder cursed again, but softly.

"George? **_GEORGE_**? Didn't you hear…? George?" The intruder then shook him gently. "GEORGE? Let me call an ambulance. Where's your phone, George?"

The voice had been familiar, and George stared blankly at the intruder until he had remembered the well-known stranger's name. Jake. CARTER? **_JAKE?_** What was he doing here? Wasn't he in Europe?

"Jake? You're in **_Germany_**?" He had questioned.

"No, I'm here. Something told me to get here, so I'm here," Jake had informed him. "George, let me call an ambulance, please."

"She wanted to die at home," George had retorted. "No hospitals, she had enough of them."

"George? Let me call your kids then. You need them here. Where's the phone?"

He had been shell-shocked, as knowing that Tess was dying, and accepting that his soul mate had died were two utterly different concepts. Jake had taken care of the arrangements in his useful efficient manner, and he had steadfastly refused to accept his heartfelt thanks.

"When Anne died, you were there," Jake had gruffly reminded him. "And now, I'm here. George, it's just the two of us now. We've got to keep an eye out for each other, because you know…"

Jake had paused, and had given him a crooked smile, before the two of them had answered in one voice, "**_Nobody else will put up our shit_**."

And he had done a mighty fine job of taking care of Jacob, turning his best friend into a human-alien hybrid….

He sensed, rather than saw, someone hovering over him. It must be the waitress, a tall, too-lanky girl who had been delighted that she had at least one easy customer for the night. All she had to do was call for a cab when he was done, and to keep the liquor flowing. Why had he decided to drink at O'Malley's? God knows who from the SGC would see him here and how the rumors would fly about how their CO had drunk himself under the table.

But better to be stinkin' drunk here, rather than in an all-too empty house that reminded him so painfully of his wife.

"I'd like another Double," he ordered.

"General, if I were you, I think I'd pace myself better. Else you'll be on the floor in an hour or so," stated an all-too familiar voice. "You're not driving home, are you?"

George tried not to wince as the owner of the voice was the absolute last person he wanted to see tonight, but upon hearing the other man chuckle, he knew he had failed. The gods of the perverse were out in force tonight. Taking a long swallow, he savored the taste of the liquor, wanting to make the other man wait for a response. It was General's privilege after all, one of the few perks that came with the stars on his shoulders. You made all the goddamn life or death decisions; had to deal with the ramifications of your solutions to problems Solomon couldn't have answered and the only joy you had in your career was making your junior officers wait and wait.

"Colonel O'Neill," George drawled. "I appreciate your concern, but I'm meeting someone here. I can assure you that I won't be driving myself home."

"That's right, I'll be driving you home, General," Jack retorted.

"George…, if you're gonna watch me get drunk, drop the rank," his superior retorted. "Tonight, I'm George, you're Jack."

"Ok… Gen…. George…" O'Neill stuttered over using his name, which caused George to bark a laugh. "I'd suggest that you better get something in your stomach, but I won't suggest the Pan-broiled Steak with Whiskey Sauce…."

Jack paused while George barked another laugh.

"Gen…the reason why I'm here… George is that Frasier mentioned Longhorn Creek to me, and I know this is the only place that serves it."

"It's a nice Texas whiskey, I'm surprised that it isn't more popular," George answered, trying to detour Jack into another subject.

"Gen…. George…, let's cut to the case," O'Neill protested. "You're not here to enjoy a few glasses of whiskey, you're here to get stinking ass drunk, Gen… George…"

"And what if I am?" George questioned Jack. "Are you going to try and take the bottle from me? I maybe a few years older than you, O'Neill, but I'd like to see you **_try_**."

Jack nodded his head even as George began to talk.

* * *

In all honesty, she should have left a few hours ago. Selmak was swimming slowly in the tank thanks to some lightning fast Symbiotic Intensive Care and General Carter was all snug in his bed, ready for a long winter's nap. Perhaps resuscitating Selmak hadn't been morally correct as she had expressed a willingness to die for Jake, but until Jake Carter was out of the woods and back to his usual grouchy self, Janet was unwilling to give up the symbiote up her sleeve. 

Then when the dust settled, they'd handle that particular emergency.

After all, it wasn't Janet's fault that Selmak had never signed a Do Not Resuscitate form.

She said good night…errr.. good morning to her night staff and advised them that she'd be sleeping in tomorrow. Well, at least until 9:00 AM. Finding herself walking past ICU-2, she decided to take one final look on her favorite patients.

Yes, Selmak was dozing, and she patted the somnolent Jake's hand gently before leaving. To her surprise, he squeezed it slightly.

"General Carter?" She questioned.

She shouldn't be surprised that he was responsive, as he was by far the most difficult patient she had ever had. Even Hammond and O'Neill couldn't match him!

One squeeze.

"You're supposed to be sleeping, as I've sedated you. **_REPEATEDLY_**." Janet informed him. "Can you understand me?"

Another squeeze.

"Selmak's fine. She's back in her tank, and I put a new rose in the tank for her. Sam's home, General Hammond ordered her out of here a few hours ago."

Very long squeeze, as though he was trying to thank her wordlessly.

"I have them checking on her every fifteen minutes to make sure she's in the tank. Now, go to sleep, General. Tomorrow, we'll try to take the tube out of your throat and you can try breathing on your own."

Squeeze.

"Good night, Jacob. Sleep tight," she whispered as she covered him carefully with his blanket. Without really thinking why, she brushed his cheek with her hand. "Tomorrow's another day."

* * *

Jack had a few drinks, asked a few questions but mainly let General Hammond talk until his voice was hoarse. Over the course of a few hours, he had learned a great deal about the Texan general. In fact, he had discovered a great deal about the two men behind the two stars and their thirty years of friendship. 

"So he hopped into the meeting, on one foot, bound and determined to stick up for his j.o. after we had crashed a multi-millionaire dollar plane on my first day flying with him. You remind me of him so much, Jack. You stick up for your team, no matter what, but neither of you know when the hell to shut up," George… General… informed him.

"I've heard that said about me," Jack admitted dryly.

General… well… no matter what Hammond said, Jack didn't think that he could call him GEORGE, even in his thoughts, even with the General being really, really hammered, General Hammond just snorted.

"The mouth again, what is it with your mouth?" George questioned him in a Texas slurred drawl. "I love Jake like a brother, but dear God, sometimes I could just knock his teeth out."

"I've heard that said about me also, sir," Jack retorted. "How about I get you home?"

"I think that's a good idea," George decided, with a very pronounced nod of his head. "You have a go."


	11. Wreckage of a Silent Reverie

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it ok  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction oh beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
They may be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight_

_In the arms of an Angel fly away from here  
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here_

"_In the Arms of the Angel" Sarah McLaughlin_

_**Story:**_

_**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General **_

_**Let Me Go Home – Part 11**_

**_Rating: PG-13 _**Jake and Sel do curse a bit, and two souls get rather friendly.

_**Synopsis: **_

Jake Carter is snug in his bed in ICU and Selmak is in her tank, believing that her host is safe, but the USAF and the NID have other things in mind for the problematic Jacob Carter.

**_? Bold Italics ?_** Is when Selmak is thinking to Jacob so he can hear her.

_Note: Some Minor Revisions/Updated 1/15/05 _

* * *

Naturally, after all the excitement of the previous day, Janet found that she couldn't sleep. She didn't know why, as it was just another typical day for her. 

Day in, day out, year after year, mouthy colonels got repeatedly bit by very pissed off, extremely provoked symbiotes that had been vomited by two star generals who had coded on the ramp in front of family, friends & whatever category O'Neill fit. Counting hypodermic needles didn't help, even imagining sticking Jack O'Neill full of a dozen or so holes because of his God given ability to piss off Jake and Selmak failed to bring her any rest.

Ok, perhaps she was enjoying the thought of O'Neill wincing too much.

_**Jab! Owww! Jab! OWWW! Jab! JAB!**_

So after seeing Cassie off to school, Janet Frasier found herself back at SGC, dealing with her favorite patient at the ungodly hour of 0715. It was especially ungodly early as she hadn't retired to her bed until 0300. Naturally, Jake was awake, his dark eyes pleading for her to free him from his confinement and from the various assorted tubes that were inserted in the most intimate of places.

"General Carter, good morning. I hope you slept well last night." Janet smiled pleasantly at him, and tried not to laugh at what his eyes were telling her.

_**Cut the shit already, Doc. FREE ME!** _

She took a long sip of her coffee, savoring the taste, while she flipped through his latest round of assorted lab works and ABGs even while listening to the night nurse's report. Every lab result from his hemoglobin to his C02 level had been rock steady for the last few hours, and his multitude of chest x-rays were clean without even the smallest of suspicious smudges that might suggest aspirated related pneumonia. Under normal circumstances, Jake would have already been weaned from the respirator. But not only was Jake's illness not a "normal circumstance", Janet had a terribly pragmatic reason for taking extra care of her patient.

Killing a two star who was a personal friend of her current CO was an **_excellent_** way of obtaining a one way, economy class ticket for a long term stay in Antarctica.

Again, she gleefully noticed his expressive eyes that were literally begging for a sip of coffee. They were **_following_** the cup to her lips. While some men made love with their eyes, Jake Carter's eyes were vicariously savoring every single drop of coffee she drank. Ah ha! A fellow caffeine addict! No doubt he was **_dying_** for a cup, so she decided to attempt a promise of good behavior from him while he was weak from the lack of caffeine.

Cruelly, she waved the cup in front of him.

"Want a cup?" Janet questioned in a teasing voice. "From my own personal, private stash of coffee beans as I don't drink the stuff in the café. Nice, hot, fresh coffee, General. You want some?"

For good measure, she took a long sip of her coffee and swallowed it very, very slowly.

Jake nodded his head, his dark eyes ablaze with a burning lust for a single, solitary drop of coffee.

Oh… he had it **_bad_**.

"You have to promise to behave. That means no running around, no collapsing on the ramp, and…" Janet paused, decided that the chance to order a two star around was far too rare an opportunity to let him off too easily. "You have to do everything I tell you to do. Without **_any_** lip."

He attempted to gesture with his hands that were still securely tied down, plainly saying, "Who me? I'm a good little boy."

"Yes, **_you_**," she cooed. "Swear by your stars, General."

Like she expected, he capitulated quickly when she asked one of her nurses to get him 500 mls of caffeine. Becky, the night nurse, seemed a little startled by how she was treating Jake, but Janet just motioned for her to assist.

"Ok, let's get the suction ready. General, I think it would do your daughter a world of good if you were actually sitting up and talking when she visits you today." Janet said in a conversational tone, as she quickly deflated the cuff balloon, extricating the endotracheal tube from him before he even had a chance to gag. Becky had the tent face mask blowing humidified oxygen in his face almost before Janet had removed the E/T tube from his throat, successfully slipping the mask's straps over his head even while he began coughing loudly. Janet continued talking to her patient calmly as she knew from her years of experience that being extubated was a frightening event for every patient, no matter how many stars or stripes were emblazoned on his shoulders. Sometimes just having someone talk to them during the extubation process would calm them down.

But not always.

For good measure, she rubbed Jake's shoulders while he attempted to breathe on his own.

"General. Breathe. Slowly. Don't fight it. Don't fight it. Inhale….Exhale…" She continued talking to Sam's father, even as she took his pulse. Quite happy with the rate and quality of Jake's pulse, she patted his hand. "Inhale…. Exhale…. Relax…."

Her patient looked at her, pursed his lips before licking them, and she wondered what the first thing he would say to her. Would he ask about Selmak? His daughter? Would he promise her his undying devotion for taking such wonderful care of him?

"Coffee…" he growled; his voice rough and scratchy from the trauma of being intubated. "You promised me…. **_Coffee_**…**_BLACK_**."

"When you're sitting up and presentable, General, you'll get your coffee. And not a moment before."

"I'm getting…all… **_wet_**…" Her patient's voice cracked again, and his look of disgust at the cold, wet oxygen blowing in his face made her chuckle.

"From the humidified oxygen. Now I hate to remind you General, but you agreed to be a good boy and not complain," she teased even as she glanced at the multitudes of monitors above his head. She made a few more inane comments before deciding that she felt comfortable with her patient's vital signs, and she patted his hand again. "Becky, we're going to get some of the tubes out of him now. Let's close the curtains, and maybe, if the General is a good patient, we'll get him dressed."

"And the coffee?" asked another nurse.

"Yes, the **_coffee_**," Jake reminded her.

"Make a fresh pot for the General," she decided.

"You're an angel," he mouthed at her.

"That's what they all say," Janet agreed.

"How about a shower and a shave?" Jake questioned after he was de-tubed… un-tubed… extricated from the tubes and his hands had been released. He was sitting up in his bed, neatly dressed in fatigues, looking deceptively complacent.

Naturally, Janet wasn't fooled.

"No. A sponge bath," she retorted, placing her hands on her hips. "I don't want you passing out in the showers, General. The last thing I need is for a stubborn two star general to take a nose dive in the shower and crack his head open."

"**_Never mind_**," he growled. "Where's my coffee? Did they have to go to Brazil and pick the coffee beans? Juan Valdez and his donkey are delivering it personally? What does a man have to do to get a cup of coffee?"

"They're making it," Janet reminded him.

"Now, Doctor, I want to see Selmak. Right now," Jacob ordered in a 'don't-even-think-of-refusing-this-request' tone. "Did her new host show up yet?"

"No… no host," Janet informed him before she slowly admitted, "Jacob, I'm not sure that there's going to be…"

"There will be one," he insisted as he extended his hand, the palm facing her as he gestured for her to shut up. He then put his legs slowly and experimentally over the side of his bed. After wiggling his legs for a bit, Jake stood up carefully – his arms extended slightly as though to balance him. Gingerly, he began shuffling over to the tank where Selmak was slowly swimming.

"Get back in bed!" Janet protested.

"Need to check on Selmak," Jake insisted stubbornly. "I don't trust anyone here with her… except for you…So what have I missed, old girl?"

**_You better be talking to Selmak, two stars or no two stars_**, Janet thought dryly even as Jake stuck his hand in the tank. He grabbed Selmak before Janet could warn him about how many people Selmak had maimed with her razor sharp teeth. Some wise ass on the night crew had taken a wax pencil and had put five lines, four straight and one crossing through them, on the side of the glass signifying Colonel O'Neill's five bites.

Like she feared, the symbiote reacted quickly, her teeth bared for an imminent strike before abruptly sounding and deliberately splashing her former host. Selmak whistled cheerfully and then began a very complicated, oddly syncopated song of assorted squeaks and clicks which echoed throughout the room. Janet tried not to smile when she realized that all her medical staff had stopped what they were doing to watch Selmak's show.

"How's my girl doing? Uh oh, the tank's a little cool, so I better have them raise the temperature a few degrees. So has everyone been nice to you? What happened? Did you like the roses? I knew you'd like the roses because I left the thorns on them… Now… Selmak… You bit O'Neill?" he questioned in a very soft, teasing voice. "Where? No, **_no_**. I'm sure he deserved it so I'm not mad at you. Just where did you bite him? On the hand? Sel, you should have gone for the **_jugulars_**."

Damning herself for being a complete and utter fool, but Janet would have sworn that Selmak was laughing. Selmak then leapt at Jacob, quickly disappearing beneath the neck of his t-shirt causing the General to jump as though he had been goosed. Jake gyrated uncontrollably for several minutes while Selmak explored.

Janet had to bite her lip to prevent herself from laughing out loud because… Jake Carter, the cranky, fear inducing, fire breathing, two starred dragon, was **_extremely_** ticklish.

"Selmak, that's tickles! Get back in the tank," Jake ordered, before starting to curse fervently. "Come on! No nipping, Sel! Back in the tank! Back in the tank!"

He extended his left arm over tank, allowing Selmak to shoot out of his sleeve and back into the tank. The symbiote entered with a very big splash that just **_had_** to be deliberate as she had slapped her flippers and tail **_hard_** against the surface.

"Thank you, Selmak. You had to do that didn't you?"

Jake then staggered over to the bed, and got back into it without a pip of protest, meaning that he had definitely overdone it, and was trying not to bring it to her attention. He grabbed a towel and he dried himself from Selmak's overenthusiastic greeting.

"General, here's your coffee," Janet informed him, as she wheeled the tray table over. "Selmak and you had a nice conversation. I didn't realize that humans and symbiotes can understand each other."

Her patient laughed softly, "I have to admit that I have absolutely no idea what she was saying to me. She seemed pretty happy though, that's what's important."

* * *

Her Jacob had visited her, and he had seemed rather amused by her bad behavior, as she had known that he would be. Jake had then stroked her and talked to her, and she had conversed back to him, even though the two of them couldn't really communicate directly. He had seemed in very good humor, and so she had been happy. 

Then she had decided to make sure he was ok by examining him. His body chemistry seemed normal from what she could scent and taste of him, and so she had returned back into her tank, but only after she had splashed him. She giggled to herself imagining his reaction. No doubt he was glaring at her, hands on both hips with a very annoyed expression on his face.

Janet Frasier was also in the room, and her scent was intermingling with Jacob's as they were spending more and more time together. Hopefully that meant Janet would continue to keep a very watchful eye on her Jacob.

She did a few energetic laps around the tank, just in case her Jacob was watching her, and then she slowly descended to the bottom of the bank. Her surroundings were warming up, so her Jacob must have instructed them to increase the water temperature. He was so considerate like that!

And Selmak closed her tired eyes gratefully, and dreamed of times long past.

* * *

Jake had drunk two carafes of coffee, and since he was completely wired due to the caffeine, he was noticing inane stuff now that normally he would never have noticed. 

First the coffee, he had taken a sip, instinctively waiting for Selmak to wiggle. It was automatic, his pausing for Selmak to wiggle, even though there was cold, lonely silence where her warm, amusement had once been. She had always wiggled and jiggled inside of him whenever he drank coffee, always asserting that her involuntary movement was due to the hot liquid.

Now he knew the truth! Selmak had been **_lying_** to him!

Selmak wiggled because she couldn't stand the stuff, and she had been trying vainly to get the taste out of her mouth!

Secondly, he was noticing that Janet Frasier was rather attractive woman. She was really attractive **_AND_** young enough to be his daughter, he reminded himself. Selmak had pointed out Janet's prettiness and her sweet, caring disposition several times to him and he had ignored her comments, but now, he perceived his lovely doctor's attractiveness anew. He even had a few new, rather illicit thoughts about Janet. He knew perfectly darn well that they weren't his own, as though they had been planted by a certain match-making symbiote.

No, Sel wasn't trying to set him up with Janet, he reminded himself.

Selmak thought of Janet as a dear friend, nothing more. She had teased him about Janet's attractiveness because Sel loved to fluster him.

It was strange, because he felt closer to Selmak now that they had separated. There was a lot of assorted stuff still in his head, shades of emotions, strands of memories that weren't truly his, and sometimes, it was like she was still there, so he found himself commenting to her.

But Selmak never answered as she wasn't really in his head anymore; she was sleeping in her tank a few feet away from him.

"Dr. Frasier, was there a silver pyramid?" Jake questioned from his hospital bed where he was being a **_Very Good Boy._** "Selmak apparently has left a mental sticky note on my brain to remind me to ask about it."

"A sticky note?" Janet commented dryly even while she grinned at the General. "On your brain?"

"It's the only way to describe it. She smacked this hot pink sticky note right on my short term memory, so I wouldn't miss it."

"We met a few of her previous hosts," Janet informed him. Then she couldn't resist teasing him. "They made **_quite_** the impression."

"Uh oh," Jake said with some concern, as after all, he knew Selmak's former hosts intimately. "And… who got hurt? Kaydia behaved herself?"

"Soran tried to punch out O'Neill and I had a medical consult with Mara, Jeralt and Norak. Plus you saw Selmak… or Mark…" Janet answered, wondering if she would ever find out who the older Mark in Jacob's life was. Perhaps he had been a particularly inspirational teacher at the Academy?

"Jerry and Norak were her mates," Jake explained. "Oh good, Kay didn't show up. She's rather… single minded in certain pursuits. I'm glad as I don't think George would ever let me live that down."

"Who's Kay?" Janet asked with the slightest bit of asperity, as Jake had blushed ever so faintly when he had called Kay single minded.

"Possibly the most beautiful woman in the entire universe," Jake informed Janet, his mind a billion miles away.

Fortunately, he didn't see Janet Frasier's face when he was describing the most beautiful woman in the universe as he would have realized that he was a dead man walking…errr… sitting in a hospital bed.

He shook his head, and continued. "Some people have notches on their bed posts; Kay had notches on her tunnel wall."

Jake shook his head and barked a laugh. "I don't think she ever slept. She was dangerous, as she could infiltrate any place, with just a smile and a look of promise. Well that was until they caught her that last time."

His voice had shaken slightly during that admission, but then it grew stronger. "Sel's done something when she left. Most of her memories are still here inside my head, but her emotions aren't. I can tell you how Kay died, but Selmak's removed all her emotions, so it's like watching a horror movie. I mean, I can feel something, when I think about how Kay died, but I don't feel Selmak's overwhelming grief and guilt in my head. I mean, I know how Selmak felt when Kay died, but…"

Jake stopped, and drummed his fingers on the table tray for a bit.

Hesitantly, Janet put her hand on his, and softly asked, "How did she die, Jacob?"

It took him a moment for him to answer, and he grimaced before he finally admitted the truth in a rather shaky voice.

"They burned her to death."

"Oh my God, Jacob," Janet said in a very soft voice.

"Mara's neck was broken, Taryn died from a staff weapon wound, Nadie was poisoned, and I told you about Jana already. Saroosh and Soran's deaths were natural because a symbiote can only maintain a human body for so long and no more. It's a little overwhelming," Jake admitted softly. "Selmak also gave me some good memories though. I know how much she loved Norak and Jeralt, and how much she treasured each one of her hosts… including **_me_**… for some odd reason."

* * *

That last comment was spoken in a self-deprecating tone and Jake gave her a crooked, bitter grin, even as Janet realized that Jake truly didn't understand why Selmak had loved him. Unexpectedly, Janet comprehended that she had been given the key to understanding Jacob Carter. 

_**What a lonely, emotionally scarred man you must be, Jacob, to be unable to accept love when it is offered to you so freely. Have you always had your walls up? Or was the first brick your wife's death? **_

"I have the pyramid," she informed him. "I'll get it for you as I know Selmak would want you to have it."

Janet handed him the small pyramid, and he thanked her. Then, instinctively, he turned the device on, and a warm female voice questioned, "Who do you wish to speak with, Jacob?"

He paused, and then he felt Selmak's presence as she recommended a host.

"Taryn," he decided. "I wish to speak to the one known as Taryn."

* * *

George Hammond stormed into the infirmary like a Red-Headed Texas Tornado. His complexion was a tad green, his eyes were slightly bloodshot, and he was carrying his stainless steel thermos--a gift from his granddaughters--in one hand and his briefcase in the other. The grimace on his face had scared several Airmen into running in the opposite direction down the hallway and even Sgt. Siler had felt a tremor of fear. 

Expecting the worse, he paused before entering Jacob's room.

Would Jacob still be on the vent? God above, if Jake had died, they would have called him, **_wouldn't they?_**

Gathering his courage, he walked into room, not sure what to expect, but no way in hell had he imagining the scene that he saw next. Jake Carter was sitting up in bed, dressed in fatigues and drinking coffee. There was a transparent figure sitting next to him, and they were playing… chess.

_CHESS?!?! _

_**CHESS!?!?!!**_

**_THEY WERE PLAYING CHESS!!!! _**

He dropped his briefcase, and the commotion caused Jacob to look up. His face lit up and he smiled at George. Jake smiled his shit-eating smile, the one he always wore when he knew George was about to stroke over their latest misdeed of biblical proportion.

_**NATURALLY.**_

"_George, why are you blaming me about the seventy two geishas in your room? I don't know what you did? But, by God, George, they were really impressed with you!"_

George growled, mentally. Or so he thought until one of the nurses glanced in his direction and immediately fled the scene. Perhaps she was worried about the fact that he was holding his thermos in such a way as to bludgeon Jake with it.

_**REPEATEDLY!**_

_**

* * *

**_

"George," Jake questioned in a very insincere voice. "You look hung over. Are you **_hung over_**? I **_really_** hope that's Aunt Madge's hangover remedy in that thermos bottle. Dr. Fraiser, I think George needs a handful of aspirin."

For his quip, he was rewarded with a narrowing of George's icy blue eyes.

"Is there any chance you might be dying?" George rumbled.

"I don't think so," Jake answered.

"Then I'm going to kill you."

"I don't think that she'll allow it," his old friend said easily.

"Dr. Frasier will understand, I'm sure," George informed him in a very quiet tone.

Jake put his feet over the bedside and he spoke to his chess partner. "Another time, Taryn? George wants to yell at me, and I'd prefer if he didn't do it in front of you."

The dark skinned woman shook her head.

"I was given instructions to keep both eyes on you. I cannot leave you, Jacob nor can you turn me off."

Carter sighed, "Are all of you going to baby-sit me?"

"Perhaps, if the perception is that you need someone to keep an eye on you, Jacob, we will… baby-sit you." Taryn retorted.

Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Selmak, _Selmak_, **_Selmak_**. You're going to be the death of me. George, this is Taryn D'Shai, Selmak's third host. Taryn, this is General George Hammond. She's the real computer whiz among Selmak's previous hosts, so she can probably explain to you why they're not acting like the type holograms we're familiar with."

"We are not holograms. We are digitally stored database matrixes with various alternating diametric flows of positive and negatively charged…" Taryn continued to explain at length in highly detailed techno-babble until she realized that both George and Jake were staring at her, with jaws slacked and eyes glazed.

"Yeah, whatever she said, George, that's why Soran could knock Jack's teeth out," Jake explained helpfully when Taryn had paused in consternation.

"Oh. **_Ok_**. That explanation was clear as mud, Jake," George protested.

"Think Sammy could explain it to a bunch of Desk Jockeys?" Jake questioned George.

* * *

George sat down heavily in a chair, and accepted the bottle of aspirin from Janet gratefully, "I've got a headache the size of Texas. Listening to your daughter explain that would be like standing at Johnson Space Center when they're launching rockets. I'll pass." 

He threw several aspirins in his mouth, and poured a reddish colored liquid from his thermos in a cup.

"Hair of the dog," he toasted Jake before chugging the mixture down and grimacing at the taste.

* * *

Samantha Carter waited anxiously for her ride. Sgt. Davis had informed her that he would pick her up promptly at her house at 0843 hours. It was 0839 hours, and she wondered where her ride was. 

At 0840 hours, she checked her watch making sure that it hadn't stopped, and hit the watch face twice with her fingers to confirm that it was still working, even though the minute hand continued to chug along. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

She had called twice during the night to see how her father was doing, and Janet Frasier had gotten on the phone after the second phone call, and ordered her to **_STOP CALLING_** and get some sleep. What was it with Frasier and Hammond? If it was their father, she was sure that they'd be concerned.

0842 hours, she heard an earth-shattering roar, as a 1980 Harley Davidson Low Rider roared over the horizon.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," she thought, as at 0843 hours, the Harley Davidson stopped immediately in front of her house. The driver revved the engine for a bit, waking up the entire neighborhood who had decided to sleep in as it was a Saturday. Sam noticed that the little old lady across the street was peering out her window and shaking her fist at Samantha in a disapproving fashion.

Sgt. Davis took off his helmet after he turned off the bike.

"I'm sorry, Captain. My car's in the shop and Siler got called in early to work. You've got your own helmet, right?"

* * *

Hammond gratefully turned his problem child over to Jacob's daughter when she arrived. Then he walked back to his office but he was stopped by Sgt. Davis. 

"Yes?" He questioned.

"Lt. General Vidrine just called. He'll be here in about ten minutes. He wants to speak to you regarding General Carter, Sir," Davis insisted.

Vidrine? **_VIDRINE_**? Oh Christ, of all the goddamn days to be hung over.

"Very well, you will escort him to the conference room. I'll meet him there, I'll want…"

"Coffee, black, lots of it, for you and tea for the Lt. General, Sir. Real lemon and sugar cubes, also. It's already been prepared," Sgt. Davis interrupted.

**_Damn, Davis was good, _**Hammond thought as he prepared for the argument he knew was going to occur. Vidrine was the Hatchet Man from the Pentagon. No doubt they were really pissed when they found out what had happened.

* * *

He greeted Vidrine politely, but Vidrine wasn't having any of that shit. First, Vidrine did a spot inspection of the SGC, from top to bottom, and only after crawling around dusty ducts for a few hours, did Vidrine get to the point of his visit. 

"General, needless to say, the President is not happy with what we had to tell him," Vidrine snapped.

God, sometimes when O'Neill pissed him off, he wished Vidrine was O'Neill's boss. He was too easy going with O'Neill, and Vidrine would have done wonders with him.

"George, did you **_willfully _**hold back information regarding this?"

Both hatchets were out, and Vidrine was circling.

"No, I did not. I was not informed of the situation until a few days ago. I thought the matter was going to be resolved differently until I was informed that the two of them had agreed to be separated," Hammond reminded him.

_**Shit, doesn't anyone ever read my reports?**_

"George, he's your friend. Convince him that it's in Earth's best interest not to separate," Vidrine ordered him.

Hammond had enough of Vidrine's highhandedness.

"I won't do that! Jacob was on the verge of losing his mind. I can't...I **_won't_** put him under that kind of pressure again! Put me up for a court martial, but Jacob Carter had to be separated from Selmak because the two of them were having severe difficulties adjusting to the situation. Selmak made the decision…"

"Then you leave me with no choice. The Joint Chiefs are demanding that General Carter take back the symbiote. We need all the allies we can find in our battle against the Goa'uld, this alliance with the Tok'ra must not fail! Tell Carter to buck up and deal with it," Vidrine argued.

Shaking his head, Hammond continued to argue his point, "There must be someone else?"

Vidrine barked a laugh. "No, there isn't. We don't have any one with his security clearance, with his background who just happens to be dying of a terminal disease with his limited family ties that we can easily cause to 'disappear'. Why do you think I'm here?! There is no one else with Carter's qualifications! He's the perfect man for the job! Now, get him in here...right now!"

Hammond hesitated before reaching for the phone, and Vidrine's eyes narrowed, "Are you disobeying a direct order, General Hammond?"

"No, SIR! I'm just trying to ascertain how much of an escort I should provide for Jacob from the infirmary to here. If he gets wind of you being here, he'll elope from Cheyenne Mountain, Sir," George said quietly.

_**And I hope to hell he does.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Janet had watched while Sam and Jake had conversed for several hours. Jake kept assuring his daughter that he felt wonderful. The retired General was in a very good mood, as he had even been pleasant to O'Neill. Then Jake had claimed, a trifle bit overdramatically, that he really wanted **_Italian _**for a late lunch as he couldn't eat the slop in the cafeteria, and Sam had agreed to get something for the three of them.

Janet had glared at him when he had ordered the Fettuccini Alfredo, but he had just laughed.

Good God, was he trying to have a heart attack?

Realizing that she was watching him, Jake waved at her and she shook her head. Fortunately the phone rang then, so Frasier grabbed the phone and she listened for a bit. She nodded her head in agreement with whatever was being said, and then she answered, "Yes, Sir. He's still here. I was going over the test results before releasing him..." Long pause. "No, his daughter just went to get him lunch as he didn't like what they were serving in the cafeteria. Is that really necessary, Sir? Understood."

She hung up the phone and shook her head.

"George?" Jacob questioned, and he laughed when Janet nodded her head in agreement. "Well, I need to go talk with him anyway. I have to thank him for putting up with my shit and for saving my six! And I really appreciate what he's done for Selmak!"

He talked to Taryn and the hologram agreed to be turned off. Taryn then waved goodbye at Janet before slipping in a sly wink, and Janet tried not to smile as she realized that it was **_Selmak _**who winked at her.

_**She's always keeping an eye on you, Jake. I hope you appreciate it.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Jake walked over to Selmak's tank and then placed his hand inside the tank. He began stroking Selmak on her crest, and he began cooing to Selmak like a proud father, "How's my little girl doing?"

He turned to face Janet, "Wow, I never realized that Selmak was **_that_** big. How did she fit all of herself in me? She must have been really cramped."

Janet glared at him, and Jake gave her a big smile, "What?"

"What am I, General? Chopped liver? What? Don't I get a thank you?"

Jacob laughed again and gave her a big smile, "Well, you were really cruel to me, torturing me with your coffee!"

Janet laughed, "Well now that you're discharged, General Hammond wants you up in the conference room."

Jacob's smile fell, and he shook his head. "Vidrine must be here. I'll be there… but…"

"No if, and or buts, he wants you up in the conference room. You're to be escorted up there," Janet informed him.

"I need a shower first, and a clean set of clothes. Then I'll go up there," Jake assured her.

"I don't trust you, Jacob, " Janet informed him.

He laughed, "You're a very smart woman, Janet, besides being extremely pretty."

His eyes darted back and forth quickly even as he flinched in disbelief after saying that.

"That's what Selmak always thought about you," he explained quickly.

* * *

Sgt. Siler escorted him from the infirmary to the locker room, where he showered and changed quickly. If he was meeting with Vidrine, he wanted Vidrine to wait for him, as Vidrine had no patience. 

Shit. _Shit_. **_Shit_**. His separation from Selmak had been too easy; he should have realized that the Joint Chiefs of Staff would never let him go willingly.

Outside of the conference room, he thanked Sgt. Siler for the escort.

Siler smiled and informed him that it had been Hammond's orders as he didn't want Jake to get lost on the way there. Jake then knocked, opened the door, and immediately greeted George and then Ignatius.

"Hello, Iggy, what has you here in the Mountain?" Jake asked innocently.

Vidrine's nose flared as he hated being called Iggy.

"Don't call me, Iggy," he ordered Jacob.

"You forget, I'm retired, I can call you whatever I want," Jacob reminded Vidrine before pausing and stabbing him with a razor sharp, "…Iggy."

"General Carter, I'm delighted to inform you that you've been recalled to Active Duty," Vidrine said in a very pleasant voice, meaning that being called Iggy had really pissed him off.

"I hope you're sending me someplace nice," Jacob retorted. "Some place temperate? Not too hot, not too cold."

"General Carter, the Joint Chiefs would like you to take back the symbiote in the interest of peaceful relations with the Tok'ra," Vidrine informed him.

Jacob was really getting annoyed, and he decided to let Iggy know that, "You've got to be shitting me! After what Selmak and I just went though to separate ourselves? Besides, it's pointless...Selmak already has a new host. She would be more than a little pissed to arrive for the implantation only to find there's no symbiote to implant! She's going to be here in another day, so no, I won't do it."

Vidrine looked at Hammond, wanting to confirm what Jacob just said. "The Joint Chiefs were under the impression that there was no new host...and that the symbiote was dying."

Jacob interrupted, "Her name is_ **SELMAK**, _not**_SYMBIOTE_**. But where did you hear that load of crap, George? You know it's not true. I told you and Selmak told you there is a new host for her. That's why I agreed to separate from her."

* * *

George sighed and shook his head. It was one of his rules in life never to get involved in an argument between a man and his wife, and he believed it was doubly true between a host and his symbiote. When George finally spoke, it was in a regretful and reluctant tone, "Jacob, I regret to inform you that Selmak has made her final arrangements...she wants to die...there is no new host." 

Jacob got into George's face and pointed his finger at him. "I don't believe you, George!"

"Jacob, it's the truth...I wouldn't lie to you about this!" George protested, knowing full well it was useless. Jacob was being pushed into a corner, and he wouldn't listen to anybody right now.

"Oh...I get it...the Joint Chiefs are worried about losing their new liaison to the Tok'ra...so **YOU **try to guilt me into becoming Selmak's host again!

"Jacob, I'm not trying to guilt you! But I am not fucking lying either!" Hammond snapped.

"She told me there was a new host, because Selmak knows that I wouldn't agree to this if she was going to get hurt," Jake argued.

"Listen to me. For once in your goddamn life, stop acting like a mule and listen to me, Carter. There is NO host. Selmak **is** dying," George repeated. "Why would I lie about that? I'm trying to help you!"

"George, help me? Help me? I know you have to toe the company line but fuck, George, I never thought you'd use our friendship against me," Jake spat.

Vidrine decided to interrupt, as the situation between the two men was getting ugly.

"Jacob, please...," Vidrine interrupted. "George is telling you the truth. The Joint Chiefs aren't blaming you, but it's in his reports that the symbiote decided…"

"No, you listen to ME! Selmak would never do what you're saying. **_SHE_** knows that if she dies it would fucking kill me, George! I was a miserable fuck up as a liaison with the Tok'ra, just like I was a miserable fuck with Annie!" Jake roared that at George.

"Jacob, shut up before you say something you'll regret," Vidrine warned him.

"**_SIR! IN ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR, FUCK YOU!_** George, you of all people know Annie's death was my fault...if Selmak died it would also be **_my_** fault. I couldn't live with that, George! **And you** know how I feel! I can't believe that you're using our history together to push those buttons...Fuck you, George! You had to fucking report me to the Joint Chiefs didn't you?"

"**_FUCK YOU, GEORGE,"_** Jake roared, before turning to Vidrine**, "_AND FUCK THE GODDAMN AIR FORCE TOO!"_**

Vidrine shook his head, "General Carter, I understand that you're upset and I want you to calm down. I'm giving you until 0900 tomorrow morning to make the only correct decision in this matter. The symbiote should remain viable until then? Correct?"

Vidrine questioned Hammond, who agreed by nodding his head slowly, "We believe that the symbiote has another 48 hours or so."

"Her name is Selmak… **_Selmak…" _**Jake said quietly. "Why can't anybody use it?"

"General Hammond, General Carter, at this time I will leave, as I believe both of you need to talk. General Hammond, I will see you in an approximately one hour in your office. General Carter, I expect you to make the correct decision."

Vidrine walked out, and Jacob just gave George a very long look.

"I trusted you…. Loved you like a brother… I can't believe that you'd sell me up the river, George…."

And then Jacob Carter left.

* * *

George Hammond sat down in his chair, and stared at his cup of coffee, mourning the loss of his best friend. 

He had given Jacob fifteen minutes to calm down, and then George Hammond began searching for him. He couldn't locate him, and George knew that he had deliberately given Jake enough time to escape. George found Captain Carter in the infirmary, and she was more than a little annoyed.

"Is Dad with you, Sir? I brought him and Janet lunch, and I can't find them," she said.

"I was hoping he was with you," Hammond growled, before he called the sentries at the gate.

"Hammond here, did you see a black 'vette leave?" He paused… "How fast was he going? No, you did the right thing, thank you."

"Elvis has left the Mountain," Hammond snapped.

"I'll go to his house, see if he's there," Captain Carter offered.

**_He won't be, he's running away,_** Hammond thought, but instead, he thanked Captain Carter and requested that she call him immediately if her father was there.

_**I hope Vidrine doesn't stroke, though it would be the perfect ending to this shitty day, to lose one two star and kill a three.**_

_**

* * *

**_

Vidrine looked up at Hammond and sighed, "He's not with you. Do you know where he is?"

"Lt. General Vidrine, I have to inform you that it appears Jacob Carter has left the building," George said bluntly. "His daughter went out to get him lunch, but that was before our little disagreement. When she came back, he and his 'vette were gone."

"I know," Lt. General Vidrine assured him. "I'm keeping an eye on him, George. He and your Doctor are together. I think they're on their way to Denver right now."

"You're having him followed?" George questioned.

"Yes, George, I am. I don't think either of you realize what the problem here is. The Joint Chiefs wouldn't have ordered him to take back the symbiote except for the fact that it's in his best interest."

"For the Pentagon," George snapped.

"No, George, it's in his best interest. While he was host to the symbiote, no one could really touch him. George… the NID wants Jacob. They want to examine him, George," Vidrine explained.

The Lieutenant General shook his head slowly. "Harry Maybourne is on his way here, and he's going to take Jacob Carter with him when he leaves, unless Jake is a Tok'Ra. And since there is no host for the symbio…Selmak, I'm sure Maybourne would love to get his hands on her dead…or alive. The only way to save both is for Jake to become a Tok'ra again."

* * *

"Thank you for inviting me," Janet thanked him as they sat down in their seats. 

"I won the tickets at a fundraiser," he admitted with a self-depreciating shrug. "I didn't think I'd be around to enjoy them, but it was for a good cause."

The man who had invited her… might she even use the term… **_her date?_**.. picked up his libretto, and pretended rapt fascination.

Yes. Maybe this was a **_real_** date, Janet decided. Ever since she had divorced Mickey, her ass of an ex-husband, she had focused her personal energies on her career rather than her social life. With her crazy schedule and long hours, she had long since given up her foolish daydreams of having a personal life. The highlights of her absolutely chock-full social calendar were the infrequent times when she and Samantha got together for a Girl's Night. They usually had a few drinks and bitched about the difficulties of being females in a male dominated workplace.

Oh, and Friday Night Pizza Night with Cassie was another high water mark in the secret life of Dr. Janet Frasier, Major, USAF, Party Animal.

But she hadn't been on a real date with an **_actual_** man in … far too long.

Well except for that one "incident"--she refused to call it a **_DATE_**--with Fred, who had attempted to paw and grope her, right after she had said "Hello". Hopefully by now, Fred was actually able to eat solid food rather than sucking blended food through a straw. She hadn't really meant to break his jaw, but he had been a really big boy, necessitating quick thought and an even faster right on her part.

But this was a **_real_** date with a (retired) officer **_and_** a gentleman. Jake had opened the car door for her, and did a thousand other small things that separated the adult men from the boys. He had dutifully commented that she looked pretty in her dress. No groping, no pawing, no wandering hands - nothing more than his hand resting gently on her elbow as he had escorted her from the car to the door.

Plus the stray, accidental, all-too brief touches of his hand against her knee when he had shifted the 'vette into higher and lower gears on the ride there. Good Lord, those few incidents of inadvertent physical contact had earned her an immediate apology.

He had acted like a man who had been **_extremely_** well trained by his wife.

_**Sit, Jake! Stay! Roll over! Fetch, Jake! **_

And the woman responsible for his behavior **_had been Samantha's Mother. _**

Say it real fast, Janet, she chastised herself. Repeat it a few times. You are pretending that you are on a **_real_** date with **_Sam's_** **_father_**.

That was problematic, combined with a real **_ICK_** factor as Sam was her closest friend. Yet, to be completely honest with herself, Janet had to admit that she had felt herself being drawn to Jacob for some time.

Originally, she had dismissed her feelings as merely those of a concerned healer. Hadn't her talent for keeping the much stressed Jacob and Selmak calm been God sent? She had just dealt with Jake and Selmak like they were regular, sane people. But now that Jake wasn't her patient any longer, she could admit that she had been rather… **_intrigued_**… by him.

And **_Selmak_**.

What was that quote from that old movie? _It isn't that I don't like you, Jake; because after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you; but, well, there haven't been any quiet moments!_

Well, maybe she'd consider this a date after all, Janet decided. She could tell her mother that she had dated a Two Star General, making sure that her mother realized that it wasn't George Hammond. It would be her little secret that it wasn't really a date….

* * *

Jacob was a hundred, thousand, million, billion trillion light years away, even though he was sitting on her left in the Denver Center for Performing Arts, ostensibly listening to a tenor sing _VESTI LA GIUBBA _from Ruggero Leoncavallo's opera Pagaliacci. It didn't really surprise her, as he had been in a rather fey mood since his no-holds barred, angry enough to knock down Cheyenne Mountain quarrel with George Hammond. 

His head was propped up his left hand, and he looked like he had lost his very best friend.

In a way, Janet supposed that he had lost two of his best friends, as Selmak was slowly dying in a tank in Cheyenne Mountain and the rift between George and Jake had occurred that afternoon with the unexpectedly sharp snap of breaking ice. The severing of that long term friendship had occurred because Jake had refused to believe George when George had told him that there wasn't a new host for Selmak.

The two old bulls had thundered and roared at each other in the conference room in front of Lt. General Vidrine, until things that were best left unsaid, were spoken. Then there had been an unexpected, almost deadly silence. Then Jacob had the last word, she knew, as she had been standing in the hallway, keeping everyone else away.

"**_I trusted you…. Loved you like a brother… I can't believe that you'd sell me up the river, George…." _**

She had fled the scene quickly, thanking her lucky two stars that she could run in heels, just as fast, if not faster, than in flats. "Accidentally", she found herself in the elevator with a visibly rattled Jacob, and she had pretended that nothing was amiss. She had made idle chitchat, and he had answered in monosyllables until he unexpectedly reached for her shoulder.

"Janet?" Jacob questioned softly, "Do you…like… opera? I've got two tickets to tonight's show in Denver. Box seats in fact. George…" His voice had trembled slightly and then strengthened as he got his courage up. "George… he doesn't like opera, and Sammy, she'd go if I asked her, mainly to humor her old man. It would be nice to go with someone that actually… likes it… instead of going just to indulge me."

Janet had smiled her brightest smile, "I love opera, Jacob. I'd be delighted to go with you."

* * *

It wasn't a 'real opera'. It was more of a Greatest Hits of Opera concert, but it didn't matter. As always, the music brought him away from the real world and into the world of his own thoughts. 

"_You, a soldier, drunk and swearing, grow a mustache; prove your daring, you, a captain, practice shooting with your privates, all saluting. It's an honor—defend your nation, but alas, no compensation! Instead of dancing for enjoyment, you'll be marching toward deployment! All that marching, all that training, when it's sunny, when it's raining, on you go with your campaigning…" Figaro, The Marriage of Figaro_

"Jacob, Celeste and I want to have a serious conversation with you," Mark Sorrentino informed him one day while he was working on their lawn. "Forget about the damn tree, just come inside. Celeste has made some lemonade, and I think she's made some cookies, too."

He had agreed, and he had sat nervously at the table, wondering what the subject of the serious conversation was. Maybe the Sorrentinos couldn't afford to pay him anymore? His mom had disappeared a few days ago and he needed the money for food. God knows what he would do when the rent came due, but that problem was for another day. Celeste gave him an encouraging smile, and his heart rose slightly – to somewhere near this ankles.

Mark tapped the table with his hook, and stopped only after Celeste rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Tell him," she commanded her husband. "Or I **_will_**. You've got him terrified, Mark. He's probably thinking the absolute worst."

Mark grimaced at her, and Celeste laughed.

"OK, Carter – let's cut to the chase. Your deadbeat of a mother has flown the coop, probably to drink herself to death in a back alley. Good fucking riddance to bad rubbish. Now, Celeste and I want you to live here. We've got the room already set up and decent clothes for you to wear so when the hell are you moving in?"

* * *

"Jacob, go to your room, "Celeste insisted. "**_Please_**." 

Celeste gave him a rather shaky smile, and literally began pushing him toward his room.

"I heard someone at the door," he protested. In fact, the voice had sounded like his mother.

"Mark's handling it, it's a salesman. They're trying to sell us something and they won't take no for an answer. If you hear Mark yelling, it's because the salesman been here before and he won't take no for an answer. I don't want you to learn those words yet. You're going to be an officer in the Air Force, remember? And officers don't use that type of language."

"Mark uses them," he protested.

"He's a special case, now go. To your room, Jacob, please!"

He went to his room, only because Celeste had requested him to do so but he wondered what really was happening. Celeste had been acting very strangely, even repeating herself and while he never disobeyed Mark or his wife, Celeste hadn't said that he **_couldn't_** open his window. It was a warm spring afternoon, and his room was a little stuffy. Quietly, he opened his window, and he sat next to the wall underneath the window. If he was quiet, he could probably hear the conversation.

He was right. It **_WAS_** his mother.

"Marge, Marge, Marge," Mark growled. "Drunk again, I see. What do you want now? I'm outta bottles, I'm afraid."

"Aren't you going to let me in?" Jake's mother slurred and stumbled over the words.

"Nope, trash day is today, but you're free to stand by the curb, Margie. Maybe somebody will pick you up."

"I want to see my boy," Marge slurred.

"Nope. Not part of the agreement, Margie. I told you to get the fuck out of his life, I gave you enough money to drink yourself to death and you agreed never to see the boy again. So you ain't seeing him, not while I've still got breath in my body."

Marge had protested, and then he had heard Mark call for Celeste. Mark's voice held a cold anger he had never heard before.

"Celeste! Get my wallet, and give me enough money so Margie can go buy a couple bottles. Oh the hell with it, give me everything that's in the wallet, so I can give it all to Margie. Margie, I am not letting you ruin that boy's life. I fucking told you that the last time you showed up stinkin' ass drunk. Here's some goddamn money, I hope you drink yourself to death. And I hope you do it soon for Jake's sake. I **_detest_** drunks like you as you're bound and determined to pull everyone down to your level. Well, I crawled outta that particular gutter a long time ago and that boy ain't gonna have to do that."

Mark had slammed the door shut with such fury that the house had trembled. Mark had banged a few more doors shut and then Jake had heard Mark's stereo. He was playing Italian Opera loudly, a sure sign that he was in a foul mood, as Jake had been at the Sorrentino's long enough to know that particular sign. Jake sat underneath the window for a time, trying to piece together what he had overheard. His mother had given him to Mark and Celeste in exchange for a few bucks to buy booze. It shouldn't hurt, but it did. The best thing that had ever happened in his life was when Mark Sorrentino had taken an interest in him. He knew that, accepted that, but it still fucking hurt. Celeste came into his room while he was wiping the damning tears from his eyes, and she had cookies and a cold drink balanced on a tray.

"What are you doing by the window, Jake?" She questioned.

He shrugged, trying to appear innocent. "Mark sounded angry."

"He's in a lot of pain today. There's a weather front moving in, and it makes his arm and head ache something fierce." Celeste put the tray on his desk, and then she sat on his bed. "You overheard, didn't you? Come sit next to me."

Jake nodded and then moved to sit next to her.

"Don't be angry, Jake. Mark and I wanted to make sure you had more opportunities than you would have if you were still living with her. We were worried that you were going to drop out of school to support her."

He had nodded his head, like a good boy, in all the right spots and he had been surprised when Celeste had put her arm around him.

"Jake, you probably don't know this, but Mark and I can't have kids," Celeste admitted shakily. "It really bothered Mark, until you came into our lives. You're our son, Jake. You might not be our son in blood, but heart and soul, you're the son we always wanted. And you always will be."

* * *

"_All that I know is she, with her innocent charm has entranc'd me. Almost transparently fragile and slender, Dainty in stature, quaint little figure, Seems to have stepped down straight from a screen"_

_Pinkerton, Madama Butterfly. _

He was wearing his wedding suit, staring at the most beautiful woman in the entire universe who had agreed to marry him. **_HIM. _**Not the most popular guy at the Academy, but **_him_**, Jacob Samuel Carter, a boy who had been repeatedly denigrated and verbally abused by his drunk of a mother and the very same Jacob who, thanks to Mark and Celeste Sorrentino, now wore the insignia of a commission officer in the USAF. The priest, barely older than he was, gave him an encouraging head nod, even while Annie gave his hand a quick squeeze.

_I love you_, she silently mouthed at him, realizing instinctively what dark thoughts he was thinking. _You and no one else will I ever love. _

"I." His face flushed when his voice cracked, so he tried it again, "I, Jacob Samuel Carter take you, Anne Marie Maloney, for my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

* * *

"Jacob, hold out your arms," Annie instructed him. She was exhausted, gingerly sitting in a hospital bed, and she was holding a small baby in her arms that mewled, cooed and gurgled. 

"What if I drop him?" Jake protested, holding his hands away from his son. "He's so small. You better hold him."

"Jacob, I've been carrying him for the last nine months. I can assure you that Mark Carter is not a very small baby. In fact, the way I'm feeling right now, he was biggest baby ever!"

He had given Annie a shaky smile, and she had then realized how nervous he was, not about dropping Mark, though he was a rather squirmy and wiggling baby, but about other things.

"Come on, Carter, sit next to me on the bed," Annie instructed.

"I'm not supposed to," he protested again. "The signs specifically say, no sitting by visitors on the hospital beds."

Anne had sighed loudly, and rolled her eye dramatically. "Jacob Samuel Carter, put your ass on the bed," she snapped.

When you were in the military, you learned to always obey your superior officers quickly and without question. Therefore Jacob found himself sitting on the bed, holding his sleeping son.

"What if he doesn't like me," Jacob questioned Annie in a very soft voice.

"Jacob, we've had this discussion for the last eight months, he'll love you. You're his father and he will love his father, trust me," Annie promised.

"What if something happens and he **_hates _**me," Jake repeated.

"It will **_never_** happen, Jacob. I will make sure it will never happen." Annie assured him.

"_What if you're not there? What if something happens, and you're not there to fix everything and make it better?"_ He had contemplated that dark thought, and Annie, his telepathic Annie who could read his mind so easily, grabbed his chin and forced her to look at him.

"Jacob, I will always be there for you. I swear to you, I will be."

* * *

It was after Annie's funeral, and he was standing in the grassy backyard of their small house on the base, surrounded by dozens of mourners. Annie's family had shown up by the busloads, but they were definitely giving him the cold shoulder, though George had insisted that they weren't. There were men from his current assignment with their wives, a few people from Annie's church and some parents from the school's PTO group that Annie had never managed to shanghai him into joining. 

It didn't matter – there could be a hundred billion people there, and he'd still be by himself.

"It's your fault she's dead! Your fault," His son screamed at him, causing the roar of the conversations around them to sputter and to die. "I wish we had buried YOU instead of Mom!"

He didn't react, because well… it was true.

"Son," George Hammond said in a very quiet voice as he deliberately stepped between Mark and Jake.

"I'm not your son. I'm **_HIS_**. And he should be in the coffin, **_NOT MOM_**!" Mark was crying so hard that it was almost impossible to understand what he was saying but it didn't matter because Jake knew what he was saying.

Because it was true.

_**Dear God, Annie, you promised never to leave me. I knew this was going to happen – that Mark would hate me and you wouldn't be here to fix it. Sammy blames me. I'm so alone, Annie. Why? Why?**_

"You should be glad you're not my son, as I'd tan your ass with my belt for saying that," George drawled. "Apologize to your father."

"George," Jake inserted in a monotone voice. "He doesn't need to apologize, because it's true. Everyone here knows that the reason why Annie's dead is because I got stuck at a meeting, and I couldn't pick her up from the airport. So it's my fault. Everyone knows it. **_Everyone_**…"

Jake then walked over to the picnic bench, and jumped upon it, knowing that just about every single eye was upon him. He waved his hands to attract everyone's undivided attention, and he spoke loudly. "My son blames me for what happened, and he wishes that I was dead instead of his mom. Everyone that agrees with Mark, please raise your hand. Come on, come on, you're all thinking it!"

Jake raised both his hands, even as George strong armed him gracelessly off the bench.

"I think everyone agrees that both Mark and Jacob are under a great deal of stress and both are saying things that they wouldn't normally say. Everyone, please keep eating," George ordered before lowering his voice to speak with his wife. "Tess, could you please keep an eye on Mark?"

"Yes, absolutely," Tess promised. "He doesn't mean it, Jacob. He's just really upset right now. His grief is making him say crazy things."

* * *

_In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",  
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,  
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,  
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",  
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,  
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery--  
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,  
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee._

"_The Very Model of a Major General" Gilbert & Sullivan_

The doors to the hearse were opened, and he was gestured to take his place. Grunting softly from the weight of the casket, he helped carry Theresa "Tess" Hammond to her final resting spot. George was in full uniform, staring blankly ahead, his broad shoulders slumped with an incapacitating grief, even as his daughters wept loudly.

* * *

_Comes a train of little ladies  
From scholastic trammels free,  
Each a little bit afraid is,  
Wondering what the world can be!  
Is it but a world of trouble--  
Sadness set to song?  
Is its beauty but a bubble  
Bound to break ere long?_

"_Train of Little Ladies" Mikado, Gilbert & Sullivan_

"George, I've got a great idea," Jake informed him. "I know this little bar; it'll be a lot of fun."

"Good Lord, Jake, I'm jetlagging something fierce," George protested. "Besides, you don't drink. Jake. You wouldn't know a good bar if you fell over it."

Still, he had managed to get George absolutely soused in Seoul, get him on a plane to Tokyo, and he continued getting George absolutely hammered.

**_Aha!_**

Now the best part of the plan. George would wake up, surrounded by geishas, who had been specifically bribed to participate in this little adventure. He helped Hammond off to their bedroom, and fortunately George managed to get into his bed without too much help. Then, he went to sleep in his own separate bed.

He had a perfect view of what was going to happen, as the shoji screen was set up perfectly. And then Jake Carter slept the innocent sleep of the truly depraved, waiting for the next morning.

It was gonna be good!

He woke up when the geisha entered the room. As one, they snapped open their fans loudly, then he tried not to laugh at Hammond's strangled gasp of surprise, as there were two dozen geishas in Hammond's side of the bedroom. They waved their fans in front of their faces, and then they **_cooed _**and **_giggled_**.

Oh, the giggling was the best part, as Hammond was obviously wondering what the hell had happened and why two dozen women were **_giggling_.**

**

* * *

**

Everyone he had depended upon during his life was gone. Annie, the Sorrentinos, Selmak, even… George… who had been through hell and back again for him; who had been there during the worst days of his life. Annie, the love of his life and the Sorrentinos were long dead, leaving nothing but fading cherished memories of happier times that tore like tissue paper when he examined them too closely.

George was alive, thank God, but he was there for him no longer. Not after today.

He was completely and **_utterly_** alone.

It was almost laughable, that during his solitary life, he had never been truly alone before. Even his mother had been there, pissed assed drunk and comatose in a corner most of the time, true, but she had been there.

And for the first time, Jake realized how frightened he was by the idea of being alone.

He had Sam, yes, but he couldn't talk to his daughter. Their repaired relationship was still too new, too fragile for him to easily confide in her. Besides, how could he tell his own daughter that he was… **_lonely_**?

God, how **_depressing_** and utterly **_pathetic_**.

In the past, when his assorted emotional scars would tear open, the old wounds bleeding anew, and he'd be aching, he'd call George and bullshit about old times.

Well, that bridge had been burnt and the entire damn town too.

Unexpectedly, he felt Janet squeeze his hand. She was so much like his Annie. Annie would have jumped into the 'vette, feet first, on that day he had been trying to escape from everyone.

As a widowed commissioned officer in the USAF, he had experienced numerous flirtations and passes made by various females, married and unmarried alike over the years. Some offers had been rather discreet and sophisticated, while other propositions had held all the subtly of a twenty ton boulder and a slipped hotel key. He had ignored them all.

Tonight, tonight, he would have taken the slipped hotel key with a modicum of grace and a great deal of heart felt appreciation.

What was he saying? Tonight, he'd take a mindless grope under the stars in his 'vette.

Yet the woman on his right was squeezing his hand, allowing him his feeble attempts at preserving his tattered dignity and self-respect with a few softly spoken lies. He was disheartened because of the music, he claimed. Pagliaccio always depressed him. So much like his Annie, Janet just smiled to let him know that she knew he was lying, but that she wasn't going to press him for more information.

Just like his Annie.

So much like his Selmak.

**_Dear God, forgive me for what I want to do_**, he pleaded.

Hesitantly, he made a very small, a very painfully awkward pass at Janet. Not a flamboyant one, nothing too splashy, just a little discreet hand holding, a slow caress of her hand even as he cursed himself for his weakness. She could ignore the offer like he had done all those years gone by, simply pretending not to understand **_what_** offer had been presented, or he could be very well ruining the very last friendship he had in the entire universe.

He truly doubted that she'd agree to what he was offering.

To his absolutely astonished surprise, Janet smiled and nodded her head.

* * *

"Turn into banter all your pain and sorrow, and with your clown's face hide grief and distress... Laugh loud, Pagliaccio, forget all of your troubles, Laugh off the pain that so empoisons your heart," she whispered to herself. 

Hesitantly, she took his right hand in hers, and she gave it a gentle squeeze before letting it go. The human contact seemed to startle him out of his introspection, and he gave her a brief, crooked smile that failed to reach his dark eyes. Then he placed his left hand on top of hers, the gold of his wedding ring glinting softly from the lights, and he gave her hand a gentle rub.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"No, thank you," she teased, trying to break him out of his melancholy. "What's the problem, Jake?"

"It's nothing, Pagliacci's always depresses me," Jake informed her. "The music is phenomenal, but it's depressing as hell."

She gave him a slight smile, letting him know that she knew he was lying, but for now, she was going to let it slide. To her surprise, Jake didn't let go of her hand, instead he began stroking it with his thumb, slowly and deliberately. At first Janet wasn't sure if he was aware of what he was caressing her hand.

Confused by his reaction, she looked at him, and he raised his eyebrows slightly even as his slight, almost bashful smile grew more crooked.

In answer to his unasked question, she smiled back giddily, even as she felt her cheeks flush.

At her age! Acting like a schoolgirl!

Jake put his right arm around her, unhurriedly and yet deliberately, as though he still wasn't sure of her response. Carefully, she put her head on his shoulder, enjoying the sensation of his arm around her.

"That feels nice," she whispered in his ear, even as she intertwined the fingers of her right hand with his.

* * *

The two of them sat like that for a few songs. Janet couldn't have told anyone what arias had been sung even if the future of Earth had depended on it, as she was aware only of the gentleman who had his right arm around her, and whose left hand was exploring her with a gentle, teasing touch. Jake moved slightly and then turned to face her even while his questing hand slid beneath her waist band. His dark eyes peered into hers even she began uncontrollably squirming from his hand that teased and stroked her. 

Thank God the theater was dark, as hopefully nobody realized that the two of them were concentrating on making their own music.

"Easy," he whispered before he kissed her gently on her ear. "You don't want the little blue haired ladies that are sitting behind us to know."

"Easy for you to say," she murmured, before gasping. "You are an evil…**_evil_**…man."

"You want me to stop?"

"No…. I don't… want you to stop…" Janet admitted, ever so slightly annoyed at the smirk that was plastered on his face.

Selmak must have taught him a few things, she thought in the very small spot in the back of her mind, the only place where she could still think coherently, as he was making her absolutely crazy with desire. She hadn't been a virgin on her wedding night, but this was the very first time that she was experiencing a partner who knew **_exactly_** where to touch her.

Selmak was female, and all her previous hosts had been female, so did that mean Jake understood **_implicitly _**what women liked? She'd be finding out shortly, but dear God, it was stress inducing, as what if she didn't compare favorably to all of Selmak's previous lovers?

She gasped loudly and arched her back uncontrollably against the seat back when she discovered that Jake knew quite a few fun new places also…

Oh dear God, it was a very good idea that she had taken tomorrow off from work. She'd need it to recoup, as he wasn't slowing down. No… if anything he was warming up.

"Good…. I wasn't planning on it…."

They kissed at first, slowly and awkwardly, then with an increasing desire even while the singers continued to sing their laments about love, death and betrayal.

"_**For the love of God, Jake, get a hotel room**,_" someone hissed. "_**I'm trying to listen to the music, not watch a porn video**!_"

Jake stopped for a moment, and he looked around. Whoever the person was who had hissed that advice, it had sounded like a rather disgusted Selmak.

"Did you hear something?" He whispered.

"No," she answered, a trifle bit breathlessly. "What did you hear?"

"I thought I heard someone tell me to get a hotel room," Jake admitted.

"I think that's a pretty good idea," Janet answered with a wicked smile. "Let's go now, shall we?"

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it ok  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction oh beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
They may be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight  
In the arms of an Angel fly away from here_

_From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here_


	12. Second Chance

_Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
For the break that will make it ok  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction oh beautiful release  
Memories seep from my veins  
They may be empty and weightless and maybe  
I'll find some peace tonight_

"_In the Arms of the Angel" Sarah McLaughlin_

_**Story: **_The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General – Part 12

**_Rating: PG-13 _**Jake and Sel do curse a bit, and two souls get rather friendly.

_**Synopsis: **_

Jake Carter and Janet Frasier's relationship is being redefined. George Hammond is dealing with the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Harry Maybourne and the NID while the Gate is about to spit out a few Tok'Ra to add to his migraine. Some days, George truly believes that he'd be better off still being a Colonel - because at least then he could have some fun.

**_? Bold Italics ?_** Is when Selmak is thinking to Jacob so he can hear her.

* * *

Jake pulled Janet , but gently, by her hand, while she giggled and skipped behind him. She was giddy and he was laughing because they were acting like school kids. Then the two of them deliberately ran across the street, uncaring that they were crossing against the red light. Upon reaching the safety of the sidewalk, the two of them kissed, before breaking apart and laughing.

"Jacob, I never would guess that you were so…." Janet laughed.

"I can't even say that this is my second chance. This is my **_third_** chance, Janet, I can't waste a single moment," he explained. "Let's go to my car. I think I know a nice hotel around here."

Little did they realize that their escapade was being watched intently by a non-descript man in a black Blazer.

* * *

"Sir," Davis' voice seemed a tad bit timid.

"Yes?" Hammond snapped, as Davis being apprehensive meant that something was really wrong. Walt had seen alien abductions by the score, pissed off Goa'ulds storming into the Gateroom and assorted other catastrophes and hadn't blinked so much as an eye.

**_Shit_**. It must be Maybourne, George growled.

"Colonel Maybourne is at the gate, Sir. The MPs say that he's here to escort General Carter back to DC for a debriefing," Davis explained.

"Have him cool his heels in one of the suites," Hammond decided. "Inform him that I'm in a meeting and that I'll see him ASAP. Remind him that under no condition is he to leave the room, and have guards stationed at the door. Keep O'Neill away from him, and once Maybourne's left, I want that room gone over with a fine tooth comb to confirm that he hasn't left anything behind."

"Yes, Sir, " Davis answered quickly.

"Dismissed," Hammond informed him, succeeding at hiding his grin at how fast Davis ran from the room.

* * *

Naturally, Colonel Maybourne decided that he was unhappy with being sent to his quarters without any supper, so he showed up in Hammond's office, demanding Jacob Carter. Needless to say, he was less than thrilled when he realized that his prey had escaped, and he began to loudly demand an answer on who was the miscreant that had let Jake out of the mountain.

Vidrine began arguing with Maybourne, and then the chevrons on the gate began to light up.

It's the Tok'Ra, Hammond thought, as his hangover returned full force.

"Unauthorized Off-World Activation," Davis enunciated as though he was reading his CO's thoughts.

One of these days, he was going to get Davis tested to find out if the man was telepathic or just damn lucky in his guesses.

George got out of his chair, and ignored Vidrine and Maybourne's sputters of protest.

"It's the Tok'Ra," he snapped.

* * *

Meanwhile, at an undisclosed location, Jacob Carter was sitting in a very nice couch, and his bare feet were resting on a sofa table. He was having second, third and fourth thoughts about his upcoming assignation, and his right hand was rubbing his left ring finger.

Assignation, God what a cold word for such a delicate, tender moment, but he was an old man, raised in a different century it seemed. He had lived though the sixties, **_barely_**, and Jake had no idea what the current term was.

Making love? Hopelessly old-fashion.

Rabid bunny, bed-slat breaking sex? **_Eeek_.**

But there were more important problems on hand. In fact, on his ring finger.

Jake couldn't remove his damn wedding ring.

The arthritis in his hands had swollen the joints in his fingers, and so Jake had never bothered with removing the ring, because the only way he could have removed it prior to Selmak was to have it cut off. Jake would have sooner cut his arm off than have his ring from Annie cut off his finger. And once he had blended with Selmak, even though Selmak had cured his arthritis, he had never removed the ring as that simple gold band had represented the woman he had loved, and would love for eternity. And when he died, his love for Annie would have continued to live on in Selmak.

While he was far too steely eyed and pragmatic to ever be considered even the slightest bit poetic, he had thought that would be a fitting memorial for Annie.

Now, sometime during the evening, he must had whacked his ringer finger accidentally, and far harder than he had realized, as his finger was swollen, and he and Janet were… possibly… if he didn't lose his nerve… and he couldn't remove the ring from his finger.

That was really insulting… to both Janet and Annie.

Throw a case of performance anxiety on top of everything else, and he was quite willing to have a mock heart attack or something, just to get out of this.

For a moment, he felt Selmak give him a mental thwack with her little symbiotic flippers. Right upside the cerebellum, it felt like. Jake felt dizzy and he closed his eyes. Instinctively, he tried to take slow, deep breaths to calm himself for meditation and then he heard a familiar voice.

"**_Trance down, Jake! That's it, Jake! Meditate! Get in touch with your inner Head Snake!" _**

_Sel?_ He questioned.

"**_Well, parts of me! Trance down, Jake! You'd think I'd leave you alone and unattended?"_**

_Well, yes. You didn't tell me that part of you'd be left behind._

"**_I think I've been insulted! I left a few pieces of me here and there inside of you, so I could keep an eye on you. Now… with regards to the wedding ring, just explain it to Janet. She'll understand it, though I don't understand why it's not coming off your finger, because I made sure everything was fixed before I vacated my nice penthouse apartment in your brain. And don't worry about the other thing… you'll do just fine… what's that old Earth saying? Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's out."_**

He was fuchsia, Jake knew, especially when Selmak giggled and yelled "**_Woo hoooo_**!"

"_**But I don't know if that was a good analogy as well, your thatched roof is looking pretty bare, there, Big Guy**,"_ Selmak teased.

Then he got really red, as she began singing Wild Blue Yonder with an almost obscene slant to it.

**_Off they go into the wild blue yonder,  
Making love under the sun;  
There Janet goes, zooming to meet Jake's thunder,  
At 'er boy, Give 'er your gun!  
Down they dive, spouting their flame from under,  
Off with one helluva roar!  
We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey!  
Nothing'll stop our Gen Jacob Carter!_**

_**That last line didn't rhyme though, so I'll have to work on it. **_

**_SELMAK! YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, YOUNG LADY!_**

"_**Seriously, I think she's a little nervous too**,"_ Selmak advised him. "**_So, keep your sense of humor about this, and give it the old Air Force try. Trust me; she'll be grinning ear to ear tomorrow."_**

"_You sure?" _ Jake questioned, though as always, he was slightly disconcerted by Selmak's female, giddy single-mindedness on this particular subject.

"_**Yes, and Jake…"** _Selmak paused as though she was gathering her courage and she then blurted out something he didn't expect_. **"Annie would approve of Janet, I know she would."**_

"_You sure?"_ That reassurance was vitally important to Jake, even though he knew that Selmak really wasn't there.

"**_Yes! I'm still here! And yes, I know Annie would approve, because I do, and you always secretly thought Annie and I were far too analogous in certain things. Jake, you've been alone for most of your life, and you know Annie always thought you were too introverted for your own good. You really are, you know. Now I better go! Love you, Carter."_**

"_Love you, Selmak."_

Jake relaxed then, and he smiled. To his surprise, he felt Janet begin to rub the stubble on his head. Annie had always rubbed her hands against his newly shorn stubble, and he relaxed still further.

"What are you smirking about, General?" Janet purred.

**_Trust her!_** He heard Selmak faintly say.

"Sometimes, I think Selmak's left part of herself in me. I hear these little mental asides that I know I didn't make, as they're without a doubt, distinctively, unforgivably and sarcastically Selmak," Jake admitted slowly.

Janet stopped rubbing the back of his head, and he opened his eyes, looking up at her, wondering if that thought had turned her off. Instead, Janet was smiling a wicked little grin, and her eyes were amused.

"And what, pray tell is Selmak saying? Should I ask? Or will it embarrass you again? You were blushing a few moments ago," teased Janet.

Janet laughed and Jake did also.

"You saw me?" Jake questioned, even as he rubbed his jawbone, trying to hide his embarrassment.

She nodded her head, before walking around the sofa, and sitting next to him. She curled her feet underneath her, and leaned toward him. They kissed for a bit, and then Janet pulled back, with a stern look on her face.

"So what did Selmak talk about just now?" Janet questioned, before putting her hand on his face. "Don't be embarrassed, I'm just curious."

He paused, and then he decided to follow Selmak's advice.

"I can't get my wedding ring off," Jake explained in a rather discomfited tone of voice. He held up his hand, and he tugged at it to demonstrate his inability to remove his ring. "I can't get it over my knuckle, and I was worried you might take offense."

Janet smiled at him and then kissed him.

"Why would I take offense?" Janet questioned. "I know how you feel about her still. I'm not jealous, Jake."

"Thank you," he softly replied before kissing her again.

Janet pulled away from him for just a second, before smiling at him.

"And I'm not jealous of Selmak either," she assured him.

He pulled away from her, uncertain of how to respond to that, and Janet understood his unease. She put her hands on his face to pull him towards her and then she gave him a longer, slower kiss that meant business. When he had to catch his breath, she put her finger over his mouth.

"I know you still love Anne, and I know you love Selmak, Jacob. They're part of who you are, Jacob, and I respect that," Janet informed him. Then her devilish smile returned, and she curled up still closer to him, and the two of them kissed some more. "And what else did that Sassy Symbiote say?"

"She realized that I'm a little nervous, so she sang, loudly and off-key, I might add, _The Air Force Theme _with a distinct Selmak slant to it. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to anyone sing "Wild Blue Yonder" again without having a facial twitch…" he admitted.

"What did she do to it?" Janet laughed after kissing him again. "You're blushing again, General. I thought General's never blushed."

"Off they go into the wild blue yonder, making love under the sun; There Janet goes, zooming to meet Jake's thunder, At 'er boy, Give 'er your gun! Down they dive, spouting their flame from under, Off with one helluva roar! We live in fame or go down in flame. Hey! Nothing'll stop our Gen Jacob Carter!" He sang softly.

Janet laughed loudly and he laughed also.

"She says she has to work on the last line as it didn't rhyme," he explained.

"She's a pig, isn't she?" Janet questioned after still more kissing.

**_That's not nice! I'm a free spirit!_** Sel retorted.

"No, she just views things differently as she's a forty thousand billion year old head snake," Jake explained, mentally awaiting the disgusted thwack from Selmak that never came. "Though I guess I should be glad that she's not here right now."

"And why's that Carter?" Janet questioned.

"I think Selmak would kill the mood as she thinks stuff **_loudly_**… like what would have happened if Saroosh had met George when she was little younger and healthier."

"What?" Janet said, laughing. "Wait, just a second, let me get a little more comfortable."

Janet then unbuttoned his shirt, and snuggled closer.

"Better?" He questioned, his voice a little rough with emotion.

"Much, yet I'd feel much more comfortable with your arm around me," Janet hinted. "So what did Selmak think about dear old George."

"Saroosh would have banged him on the ramp in the Gate room the very first chance she got."

Jake flinched at that thought, and he fiercely glared at Janet when she started laughing hard.

"It's not **_FUNNY_**, Janet. He's one of my closest friends, and Selmak was always thinking these thoughts! The very thought of Saroosh and George just leaves me cold, I have to admit," he protested. "George and Saroosh on the **_ramp_**? In front of people."

"I thought Kaydia was Selmak's host with the exhibitionist tendencies," Janet questioned, as she began unbuttoning his sleeves. "But let me warm you up if you're still thinking about George and Saroosh on the ramp."

Jake gave her an amused smile, and nodded his head, "Kaydia was, but let's stop talking about George…"

"Agreed," Janet whispered after a very long, very slow kiss.

* * *

For a moment, George debated about closing the iris on the Tok'Ra. It would be like… what was it? Insects on a dashboard window.

Splat! Splat! **_SPLAT_**!

"Open the iris," he instructed. "Get a team of Security personnel down there. I'll meet them, if anything happens to me…"

"Colonel O'Neill will be in charge of the base," Davis answered easily.

"And God help us all if that happens," George said, perhaps too loudly, as Davis was trying hard not to smile. "You repeat that, Davis, you'll be an Airman again. In Antarctica."

"No, no, Sir!" Davis assured him.

"Time to meet the Tok'ra," George sighed.

Martouf gave him a megatooth smile, and George wondered inanely if Martouf's smile was naturally that gleaming, blindingly bright, or did his symbiote handle dental issues also? God knows the USAF didn't have that good a dental plan, though George wasn't sure what would be worse, dealing with an alien like Selmak fulltime or having root canal.

Withouth drugs.

Mentally, George gave himself a slap across the face. He was hung over, tired, and cranky plus dealing with three people he didn't want to, and as he glanced at his watch secretly, he realized he hadn't had lunch and it was now almost seven o'clock at night.

"General Hammond, thank you," Martouf beamed.

Good Lord, his teeth are **_blinding_**, George thought to himself, as he rubbed his tongue over his own teeth.

"The Tok'Ra hoped that you would allow us to ensure Selmak's comfort," Martouf explained.

"And they only sent you?" George questioned.

"We were uncertain of our welcome here," the young Tok'Ra delicately explained.

"So you're the sacrificial lamb, I take it?" George snapped.

"I know not that term, General," Martouf answered.

"Never mind, speaking out loud," the General explained. "Come join the rest of the group."

* * *

Maybourne was staring in ravenous glee at Selmak.

"An adult symbiote with no host," Maybourne shook his head. "What we'd do to get our hands on it. We'd learn so much if we had it in our possession."

Vidrine appeared annoyed, Martouf was horrified and naturally Colonel O'Neill stopped in to watch the free carnival show.

Perfect, all we needed was Siler to come into the room wearing a tutu and riding a pony. Maybe he'd do tricks, too, Hammond growled mentally.

"No, Maybourne, you're not getting the symbiote," Vidrine stated. "It's going back in General Carter tomorrow."

"Selmak does not wish that," Martouf inserted.

George began talking to Martouf assuring him that Selmak was not in any danger of being man...err symbiote handled by Maybourne when O'Neill snapped, "Put it down, Maybourne. You break it, you bought it."

There was a hum, and then George heard a male voice say, "You are not Jacob."

**_GREAT_**! The Ghosts of Tok'Ra Hosts Past had just shown up.

* * *

"I know **_you_**," said the center figure who was an older gentleman who wore an archaic Air Force Uniform. He walked over to Maybourne, and pointed his hook in Maybourne's face. "You are the Maybourne. Jacob believes that you would pimp your mother to the highest bidder."

The figure turned and glared at Vidrine.

"You are the Vidrine," he said. "I should have guessed that Jacob's military would not let him go so easily."

The figure that wore Colonel Sorrentino's uniform, then neatly pivoted on his right foot and faced Martouf.

"Garshaw had to get involved, didn't she?"

Then Selmak glared at Hammond and O'Neill, and sighed.

"Jana, Norak, Jeralt – Vidrine. Kaydia- Maybourne, Taryn, Nadie – Martouf," Selmak snapped before waving his hook in the air. "Soran, Mara, – Hammond."

"And what will I do?" said the only figure that hadn't been given an assignment. She looked vaguely familiar to O'Neill, as though he had met her once before.

"Saroosh – you may flit and float about, and bring happiness to all," Selmak growled. "Or at least, keep O'Neill from talking too much, as I am tired of his voice."

"Would, if that were only possible," sighed a female voice.

George attempted not to laugh, but he did, and he noticed that Selmak was trying not to smile.

* * *

"Jake?" Janet questioned. "You're a little warm."

The two of them were lying together in bed, spoon fashion, slightly bemused and quite cozy after a wondrous time. As Jake was a gentleman, he pulled up the covers a little higher so Janet was warm. He was playing with her hair, and giving her small kisses every so often.

"I just had the workout of my life, Janet, naturally I'm a little warm," he teased. "Everything worked…"

"Quite **_well_**," Janet inserted. "You passed your physical, but I'll want to run a few more hands on tests."

"I was worried; I've been on the shelf for what… twenty years?" Jake confessed. "You are a wildcat, young lady."

Janet said something truly obscene, and Jake laughed.

"Give me a chance to catch my breath, and we'll discuss that in a bit, but I never thought you had a dirty mind. No wonder you and Selmak got along," he joked. "But no, you and I won't be having sex on the ramp of the Gateroom. My back's a little too sore to even think about that."

Janet gave him a mock pout, and he laughed.

"Ok, ok… I think I caught my breath," he chuckled.

* * *

George Hammond stared at Soran and Mara, and the two ladies stared back. Behind him, O'Neill was being firmly talked to by Saroosh, Vidrine was getting an earful from Jeralt, Jana and Norak and wonders of wonders, Harry Maybourne was looking a little bit uneasy by Kaydia's bold character.

He did a double take at Maybourne, even as Mara sighed.

"Yes, she has a knife to his throat," Mara sighed. "I think Maybourne made a comment about her outfit."

"It is rather low-cut," George said quietly. Actually, if he had been a betting man, he would have wagered that Kaydia would have a wardrobe malfunction and flash the entire room.

And the Oriental woman would have been quite proud of it, as George rapidly realized that she was from a culture that had absolutely no sense of shame. Kaydia used her body as a weapon, and she probably would have killed him easily.

But **_what_** a way to go, he thought with a very tired leer.

_Bad George! Bad! BAD! BAD! NO BISCUIT! _

"Let the children misbehave, General," Mara suggested. "You and Selmak need to talk, the other hosts, they are here simply to seed dissension and create distractions and chaos among those that would not understand why Selmak is doing this."

George looked at the room, and then Kaydia pulled her Ace Card out of her sleeve.

"Selmak knows what you did in Tokyo," Kaydia announced in the unexpectedly quiet room. "You wish to pay Jacob back for your humiliation, and we will not tolerate that. If you touch the symbiote, Selmak will inform the one known as Vidrine of what you were accused."

"He had **_no_** proof," Maybourne shot back. "**_None_**."

"The reprimand is on your file though, Maybourne," Kaydia snapped. "Unless your friends in high places succeeded in getting it removed."

Colonel Sorrentino left the room, unnoticed by all, and Soran motioned for George to follow Sorrentino.

* * *

Hammond and Sorrentino-Selmak stood in the Command Center, while Davis tried to appear busy.

"Jacob is not on the base?" Sorrentino… Selmak… questioned.

"No, he's escaped," Hammond growled.

"Perchance, did he run off with **_Janet_**?" Selmak questioned, strangely intense.

"Yes, they're in Denver," George informed Selmak. "Vidrine has people following them. Jake has a meeting tomorrow morning with Vidrine."

"He'll be back for the meeting, but more than likely, he'll be late. I know he will be late," Selmak said easily. "So, he left with Janet. Strange is it not, that at the very end, he actually listened to my suggestions?"

George thought that Selmak was talking to himself, so he didn't answer.

Selmak smiled beatifically, and he continued staring at the Stargate. "He's being followed, you said?"

"Yes," and then George gave a brief rundown of the current situation.

"I hope that Maybourne's people have the same sense of decorum that Vidrine's people do," Selmak questioned in a very quiet voice. "He might claim that he didn't know Jake wasn't on the base, but he's lying. You can tell by those soulless eyes of his. He's just trying to get you on the defensive."

"Maybourne? I didn't say anything about Maybourne having him followed," Hammond disagreed.

"Harry and Jacob go back a few years. There is bad blood between them, regarding an incident in Japan. I believe Maybourne has been waiting for his chance to pay Jacob back for what happened," Selmak informed him. "I do hope that they don't barge in on Jacob and Janet."

"What happened in Japan?" Hammond questioned intently.

"It is as you say, **_Classified_**," Selmak informed him.

Selmak continued to stare at the 'Gate, and then he smiled as his thoughts turned inward.

_Jacob is loving her_, Selmak thought, _at last he's allowing himself to be human. I hope, my dearest friend that they don't barge in on the two of you in the state of dishabille, because no doubt you'd shoot them all._

Selmak laughed merrily and turned to face Hammond.

"I made the only morally correct decision, General," Selmak informed him. "I ask a boon of you, will you keep an eye on my Jacob? I know that Janet will do so, but it would helpful if you continued your watchful gaze on him."

"Selmak, Jake's not talking to me," George reminded him. "He's very angry because I told him what you were doing."

"You don't understand Jacob, do you?" Selmak questioned Hammond. "Of all the people in the world, I thought you would comprehend him."

"I know he's madder than a rattler that's been stepped on by an elephant," George retorted.

"Jacob is envious of you, General," the hologram stated.

"No… he's not… he's pissed off at me," snapped the General.

"Jacob has always been jealous of you. You made friends easier than he ever did. You had friends; he had people he flew with. You and your wife had an easy relationship, everything he said to Anne, he worried and fretted that he hadn't said the right thing. You had a great relationship with your parents. He hated his parents even while he desperately wanted their approval. You had a support system while you worked up the food chain, he had two teenagers who hated his guts and wished he was dead instead of their mother. You are involved in your grandchildren's lives… Mark hasn't even sent him a recent picture of his kids to his father," Selmak explained, counting off on his fingers with Sorrentino's hook.

George swallowed a few times and looked away from Selmak.

"Secretly, Jacob believes that if you had blended with me, none of this would have happened. That you and I would have been perfectly happy together and the Tok'Ra would have accepted you with open arms," Selmak continued. "So he's angry because he thinks he completely fucked everything up, and that you wouldn't have."

"That's not true," George protested.

Selmak put his hand on George's face and stared into his eyes.

"You know what he's most jealous about?" Selmak questioned. "What pains him more than anything?"

"I don't know if I want to know," George confessed. "I don't think I'm strong enough to hear more of this."

"Secretly, in the depths of his soul, where he won't admit it to anyone, not even to me, he's jealous because you got to say goodbye to your Tess, and his final words to Annie were ones of anger. You were there when your wife died, he wasn't there when Annie died," Selmak said to George quietly.

"You have to help him, General. I won't be here to help him," Selmak reminded him.

"He's going to blame himself forever, Selmak," George protested. "You know he will."

Selmak gave George a bright smile.

"In time, he will realize that I did the right thing," Selmak said easily.

* * *

O'Neill was being glared at by Saroosh, who was in fact, not the sweet old lady he once thought she was. She was a bit of a harridan. In fact Saroosh was a nasty old curmudgeon; she also had one of his ears in a death grip and she was twisting it.

"What is going on? I trusted your people with Selmak! I thought Jake could handle this! What is Jacob's problem?" Saroosh growled.

"Your best friend didn't come with an instructional manual," O'Neill stated sardonically. "OWWW! Will you let go of my ear?"

"NO! What happened?" Saroosh demanded. "I know that Selmak and Jacob are very angry with you. What did you do? This is YOUR fault!"

"Me? I didn't do anything," O'Neill protested in a faux innocent voice. "Maybe I teased Jake once too often…"

Saroosh's eyes narrowed even further while she glared daggers at him, and he put his hands up in defense.

"Jacob had a very hard time dealing with your little snake friend," Jack snapped.

"Call her that again, and I will be angrier than anyone you've ever met in your life," Saroosh threatened.

"I don't know, the old lady snake seemed pretty annoyed with me," Jack informed Saroosh.

"WILL YOU LET GO OF MY EAR!" O'Neill yelled as Saroosh twisted it even harder.

* * *

Meanwhile, Martouf was being hammered by both Nadie and Taryn. Nadie was a fiery redhead who was delighting in making mincemeat out of Martouf and Lantesh.

"You can return home, and remind Garshaw that it is every symbiote's right to decide when to give up their life for their host," Nadie stated regally. "By the blessed womb of Egeria, Selmak has this right."

"We are not Goa'uld," Taryn inserted. "We do not force ourselves on unwilling and unknowing hosts."

Left verbally unsaid was what Martouf and Lantesh's symbiote mate Jolinar had done to Jacob Carter's daughter, though Taryn silently implied that she thought it was a great evil.

Lantesh took over, causing Martouf's eyes to flash, for he did not let anyone speak ill of Jolinar or Rosha, "Jolinar had information that she needed to get back to the Council."

"Fortunately, Selmak does not, so I fail to see the interest of the Council in Selmak's decision," Nadie retorted.

Taryn nodded her head in agreement.

"We wish to put Selmak in stasis until we can find Selmak a new host, a suitable host," Lantesh stated.

"Do you imply that Jacob was an unsuitable host?" questioned Nadie in a very icy tone.

"Yes!" Lantesh shouted. "I do! I said it before the Council, and I will say it **_NOW_**! Jacob has brought nothing but grief to the Tok'Ra in general and Selmak in particular."

"You are wrong, Lantesh. Selmak's concern for Jacob has brought Selmak from out of the tunnels and through the Chappa'ai. Their blending has restored Selmak to what she once was," Nadie spat.

"Selmak's life has come full circle. Selmak wishes to die, as Selmak grows weary of the fight. Let her go," Taryn argued. "It is time for Egeria's younger children to stand on their own, and be as Egeria wished you to be."

* * *

Lt. General Ignatius Vidrine, Iggy to no one except for Jake Carter, was not happy.

"I have to talk to you two?" He growled.

"Not really as there's actually three of us," said the blonde. "We're just supposed to distract you, so Selmak can talk to Hammond. Boy, I think Kaydia's really getting Maybourne flustered."

"That's because his eyes are on a level with her cleavage. I think his eyes will pop out of their sockets shortly," Norak stated.

"Oooh! She pulled the knife out," said the blonde woman. "I was wondering when she was going to do that."

"Where did she get the knife from?" Vidrine said. "I was watching her; she didn't pull it out of her…"

Jana laughed and then looked at her mate. The three Tok'ra laughed amongst themselves and then turned serious.

"General, inform us of what Jacob's government wants from Selmak."

"Well, if Jake doesn't take the symbiote back…"

"SELMAK…" growled the male.

"If he doesn't take Selmak back," Vidrine explained. "The NID wants Jacob for examination purposes."

"You mean, the Maybourne would acquire Jacob," the woman said.

"Yes," Vidrine.

"Explain further about the NID, please," the male requested.

And so Vidrine began to explain.

* * *

The hosts continued to argue with their victims, and Selmak found herself in the medical lab area. The hologram smiled when she saw herself in the tank.

"Truly, I am showing every year of my age, am I not?" She murmured out loud. "Fortunately, I was never vain about my appearance."

"Sorrentino?" Samantha questioned from a corner of the room. "Who are you?"

"I am Selmak," Selmak stated in response to the question. "Are you keeping an eye on me?"

"Yes, I know Dad wouldn't want you to be left alone," Samantha informed Selmak.

"Thank you," Selmak answered.

"Who's Mark Sorrentino?" Samantha questioned. "Was he an instructor of my father?"

"Captain Carter, you need to speak to father and learn why he is the man that he is," Selmak explained softly. "Mark is probably the only person besides your mother and George, that Jake ever listened to. Mark was your father's high school science teacher, and he molded Jacob into the man he is today."

"Dad never really talks about his childhood," Samantha explained.

"I know, but you need to ask him questions, especially about Mark and Celeste Sorrentino. Your mother and father named your brother after Mark."

"I'm worried about my father," admitted Jacob's daughter.

"Don't be, he's with Janet right now," Selmak tried not to smile too broadly, but she knew exactly what Jacob was doing with the doctor. "She'll keep her eyes on him, don't you worry."

_And a few other body parts_, Selmak refrained from adding, as she wasn't sure how Samantha would react to THAT tidbit. Better let Jake handle it.

"Selmak…" Samantha then paused, searching for the right words. "He'll be angry…"

"Do not tell him, as this is the only morally correct decision to make. Unlike others you have met, I will not keep an unwillingly and unhappy host. I am not **_Goa'uld_**," Selmak reminded Samantha. "Thank you for keeping an eye on me, I will take over the watch. I have much to ponder."

* * *

It was ten o'clock in the evening, and George was hungry. Around nine, he had grabbed a bottle of coke and then lost his money in the candy machine. He had smacked the machine a few times, venting his anger about the current on the situation onto the machine, but after a few minutes of pounding, he had decided to give up the BBQ Potato Chips as a lost cause.

He saw Jack in the cafeteria, and he decided to sit with him.

"Colonel?" he questioned.

Jack ignored him for a bit, and then Hammond cleared his throat.

"Oh, sorry, Sir, didn't see you, please sit down," Jack explained. He then crumbled up his potato chip bag, Hammond enviously noting that it was the same brand of BBQ Potato Chip that had sucked his money away. "Been thinking."

"About what?" Hammond questioned.

"The hologram Saroosh gave me a ration of shit," Jack said bluntly. "I thought perhaps that I shouldn't be taking that verbal abuse from a hologram, but I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. Then I decided that I really liked seeing Maybourne being threatened with castration by a pretty Oriental female, so I figured, what the hell - live and let live. If the holograms want to talk, let 'em. If they wanted to slice up Maybourne, more power to them! If Saroosh wants to yell at me and blame me for everything, then let the old shrew scream. When I left them; Martouf, Lantesh, Vidrine and Maybourne didn't look very pleased with their see through buddies. How was dear ole Sel?"

"Selmak and I had a long discussion," George rubbed his tired eyes and then stared blearily at his soda bottle. "Selmak's convinced me that what he's doing is the best thing for Jake."

"Jake is not going to like having Selmak's blood on his hands, Sir," Jack retorted.

Quirking an amused eyebrow at O'Neill, Hammond questioned Jack's change of attitude, "That's not quite what I expected you to say. I'd figured you'd be the one cheering the loudest for the separation."

"Jake and I don't get along because we're too much alike, Sir," Jack informed George.

"Color me unsurprised," Hammond sarcastically replied, before waving his hand. "My apologies, Colonel, it's been one hell of a day."

"If I were Jake, I'd never forgive myself," Jack snapped.

"And I'd never forgive myself if I forced Jake to become a Tok'Ra again," Hammond responded.

The two men sat quietly for a bit, and then George stood up.

"Tomorrow's another day, Colonel. I'm going home and get some shut eye. I suggest you do the same."

* * *

Jake woke up, and he realized he was cold, clammy, and soaking wet.

_Night sweats? I'm having night sweats? I haven't had them since I blended with Sel._

He sat up, and mentally groaned. Janet Frasier was lying next to him, fortunately sleeping, but damn it, the sheets and the pillow cases were wet.

_Why am I having night sweats? Damn it, damn it, damn it! First night with Janet, and I'm having night sweats? Damn it, this is embarrassing._

He got out of bed, surprised by how weak he felt.

_Whoa. She's a real wild cat, if I'm this tired_, he thought. _I think there are some towels in the bedroom. I'll put them on the bed, and hopefully she doesn't get wet. This isn't a wet spot; this is an entirely wet side of the bed!_

He grabbed a few towels from the bathroom, and he staggered back to bed. He was putting down the towels on his side of the bed when Janet woke up as he had started coughing.

"Whatcha doing, airman?" she teased in a very seductive voice.

"Knocked over a glass of water. Shouldn't have tried to drink it in bed," he lied.

"We can call room service and have them change the sheets," Janet said drowsily.

"No, this is fine," he assured her.

He got back into bed, and she put her arms around his neck, before giving him a long kiss.

"You're cold, I could warm you up," she purred.

"I'm really tired, Janet," Jake explained ruefully. "I'm sorry; I'm a lot older than you are."

Janet made a rude noise, before snuggling closer to him.

"Go to sleep, flyboy," she whispered.

* * *

Jake was sleeping silently next to her, and she hesitantly put her hand on his neck. She had felt something when she had kissed him… a swollen lymph node that hadn't been there earlier. Christ… it was **_there_**…and she palpated the swollen node carefully. Then she felt the other side of his neck, praying that there wasn't a matching one there.

_Shit. There was a duplicate!_

_Let's see night sweats, exhaustion, swollen lymph nodes, coughing. Back Pain? He said his back hurt earlier._

If he woke up, she'd claim that she was getting frisky, but she continued to check his lymph nodes. Swollen lymph nodes on both sides of the diaphragm.

_Damn it, damn it, you were clear. I checked them all! You can't be out of remission this quick, Jake! _

She got out of bed, and walked to the bathroom, picking up her cell phone on the way. Entering the bathroom, she closed the door and sat on the sink before dialing a number she knew by heart.

"Maggie? It's Janet. I need you to do something for me. Pull all of General Jacob Carter's medical files. I want copies of everything he's had done, especially xrays and lab work. Now, I need to schedule the following tests, and I want you to John Doe them. Under no circumstances is anyone, including General Hammond or Captain Carter to find out who my patient is. I need complete blood work include an ESR rate, I want you to order a PET Scan. Diagnosis, back pain, rule out recurrent Lymphoma."

She hung up then, and she closed her eyes for just a moment.

_Selmak, I thought you cured him._

And then Janet cried.

* * *

The next morning, Jake was shockingly weak. His color was off, and his jaunty grin wasn't as broad as it once was. It took a while for him to get dressed, and he was winded by the exertion. Then, to Janet's surprise, he handed her the car keys.

"Drive me to the base, Janet, please," he said in a very exhausted tone. "I think I want you to check me out when we get there. I really don't feel very well, and I don't think it's because of too much fun last night."

She had to half drag, half carry him to the car, and he gracelessly collapsed into the passenger's seat.

"I'm sorry, this is a lousy first date" the General whispered to her. "First I can't get my wedding ring off, and now this."

"Well, next time, it's going to be better," Janet said cheerily.

Jake smiled at her, grateful for her understanding, and she hoped that he didn't see the tears in her eyes.

The road was clear, the weather warm and Janet sped the entire way back to the base while Jake slept in the passenger's seat. Fortunately by the time they got there, far too early for George Hammond or Samantha Carter to be at the base, Jake had recovered his strength enough to walk to the infirmary.

He sat on the examination table, and he smirked when Janet threw two gowns at him.

"One on front, one on back, that way you don't flash anyone," she said. "I need to change. I'll be back."

Jake nodded, and then he sighed, "I'm out of remission, Janet. I can tell."

"No, don't say that, you're not a doctor," Janet retorted quickly.

"I wanted to try and patch things up with Mark, but I guess I don't have enough time now," he said. "Janet, how's Selmak?"

"She's doing well, Jake. Swimming laps in her tank, biting people that put their hands into the tank," Janet lied, as she had no idea how the symbiote was doing, but after dealing with the ramifications of Selmak biting Jack O'Neill, Janet was pretty confident that her lie sounded truthful.

"That's my girl," Jake sighed softly. "I think she's seen JAWS once too often, and secretly, she wants to be the Great White Symbiote."

His speech was slurring, and he closed his eyes, "I think you're going to need a bigger host, Sel."

* * *

Janet Frasier grew more and more concerned about the lab results.

Everything was wrong.

Completely wrong.

According to the chest xrays, the PET scans, the MRI and everything else, Jacob was in Stage 4BE NS Recurrent Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The disease was in spots that had been perfectly clear when he had been declared terminal.

The Xrays had been perfectly clear after Selmak had repudiated him! Clear! Spotless! The MRIs had look absolutely positively clear!

_It must be the Naquadah in his blood. It's acting as a cancer accelerant? Or is because Selmak was fused in parts of Jacob's body and had to leave parts of herself behind? These cells are mutating wildly, and there's no control over them! _

She drew several more vials of blood from Jake, flashing him a toothy. vampirish grin when he asserted that she was a vampire because she was draining him of his blood. Then she went to the lab, pulled the pathologist off the slides he was working on and had him look at Jake's blood under a microscope. Then she viewed it, and had the doctor review it again.

Dr. Ying, the pathologist, shook his head in disbelief. "There are three different structures in his blood, and they're fusing underneath the scope while I'm watching. And whatever those other two structures are in his blood, they're turning the lymphoma in Super Lymphoma. It's spreading like wildfire while I'm watching."

"The lymphoma appears to be reacting to the Naquadah in his system. It's fusing with that and Selmak's cells that she left behind in Jacob," she asked.

"You need to get a damn good hematologist-oncologist. Naquadah in the blood stream? That stuff can blow up if you expose it to the wrong chemicals," Dr. Ying reminded Janet.

Thinking back of the nightmare she had endured when they thought Cassandra was a living, breathing Naquadah bomb because of Nirrti, Janet still managed to smile, even though she was tempted to smack Dr. Ying upside his head with her files and scream, "I've lived through it once, thank you very much!"

Instead Janet thanked the Doctor, before composing herself, as she had to break the news to Jacob. No matter how long she had been a doctor, she never got comfortable with this part of the job.

Thank God.

The minute she got comfortable delivering this news was the time she needed to hang up her 'scope. Jacob was in bed and her arrival earned her a weak smile.

"Wanna play doctor, Doc?" Jake leered.

"Yes, I do," she said, as she put down the side rail. When she reached for his hand, he sighed.

"How much time?" He questioned.

"I don't know," Janet reluctantly answered.

"Guess…" Jake requested softly. "What's my staging numbers?"

Jake wanted to know his staging numbers, those strange, esoteric numbers which meant so much in cancer care. What seemed to be a mere jumble of numbers detailed where the cancer was, where it had spread, what organs were affected and so, so much more.

"Stage 4BE NS," Janet rattled the arcane numbers off slowly. "Jacob, you need to take Selmak back as your symbiote."

"No," he whispered. "She's getting a new host, and her new host will be the type of host she deserves. Not a cranky old man like me, but someone with a sense of humor who can tell her naughty jokes. I never knew any decent dirty jokes. I always was an officer and a gentleman with her."

He closed his eyes and sighed.

"She thought she cured me," Jake protested. "She'll be quite upset if she ever finds out the truth."

"It wasn't a clean repudiation, Jacob. Selmak did leave parts of herself in you," Janet explained.

"I know, I can still hear her sometimes," Jake said softly. "Do you want to know what she said last night while you were sleeping?"

"Jacob, don't change the subject," his lover protested.

"She yelled, 'Yeee Haaaa' and then she giggled," Jake said. "So, she was fused too deeply with me for a clean break? That means she's probably injured when she left me, Janet, so make sure she's healing ok, please. So the Selmak cells are fusing with the lymphoma cells and combined with the Naquadah, they're running amuck?"

"Yes," Janet said, as she squeezed his hands.

"Janet…" His voice was weak but authoritative. "Don't tell anyone about why it's happening, please. I think it's going to be soon. The way it's progressing, it probably will be sometime tonight."

Jake wet his lips and was silent. "Will you stay with me?"

"Yes," she promised.

"If Selmak's new host shows up, don't let her see me, ok? Just lie and tell Selmak that I went on vacation to Disneyland, Sel always wanted to go there," he explained. "Assure her that I'm going on Space Mountain for her. Tell her, I'll even buy a set of ears for her."

Long pause, as Janet wiped her tearing eyes.

"I think she wanted to wear them to a council meeting," Jake joshed. "Just to piss everyone off."

"Jacob, listen to me, there aren't any new hosts for Selmak. The Tok'Ra don't have any available," Janet informed him. "She's going to die in a few days, Jake, unless you take her back."

"One of the nurses said that Martouf and Lantesh are here," Jake retorted. "They'll take Selmak back with them, and she'll have her new host."

"Jacob, you're wrong," Janet explained again.

"Janet… can you give me something for the pain, please? Drug me up really well, as it hurts so bad, Janet," Jake requested. "Please, don't let Sam see me like this. I also want you to be my doctor, so don't protest, please."

He closed his eyes, and bit his lip. Jake then took several deep breaths, and then eased back onto the bed.

"It's happening so damn fast, Janet. That's a good thing, as I won't have that long, slow decline… I was worried about that the first time… you know…" He gasped again. "That I'd be circling that cosmic drain for ages until it was time."

"Jacob, I'm going to call the best specialists I can in, "Janet informed him. "I already have a phone call out to a couple doctors."

"George is my power of attorney and my health care proxy, you have that on file, I hope?" Jake questioned. "If the time comes, George makes the decisions, he knows… no extraordinary measures, and I want my death to be with dignity, Janet."

"Jacob…" Janet protested.

"And that means, a hell of a lot happy drugs, Janet," Jake ordered. "When I shuffle off this mortal coil, I want to be pain free."

The good doctor was getting teary eyed, and she tried to hide it by playing with her bangs.

"No tears, Janet. It's been a good life, and thanks to Selmak, I've made amends with my daughter, I got to experience things that I never did before. I got to see other words, I met a very nice head snake by the name of Selmak … and I got to enjoy your company. It's been worth it, dear." Jake then took her hands in his, and squeezed.

"You'll have to tell George and Sammy, ok? I don't know if George will actually care, after yesterday, but he might show up just to stick a stake in my heart to make sure I'm dead."

"Don't say that, Jacob," the doctor protested. "Now Jacob, we have to do one final test."

He pouted, and she laughed shakily.

"You're too old to sulk, Jake. The oncologist wants a bone marrow biopsy."

He sighed, and then he ordered, "I want good drugs, Janet."

"You'll have them."

* * *

Jack O'Neill couldn't sleep, as his dreams had been full of a stern and reprimanding Saroosh who kept telling him that it was ALL HIS FAULT, and so he was in work **_early_**. He changed into blue fatigues, and wondered if he should leave a note in Daniel's locker saying, "GREEN" – just so Daniel would wear the wrong color.

Naaah… while it would be amusing, it would probably piss George off, and he seemed to be having a very bad day yesterday.

"Well, maybe I'll go to the cafeteria, grab some coffee and work on some of my reports," O'Neill thought happily. "Or maybe I'll just get some coffee."

He was strolling down the hallway when he heard the beep beep beep of an IVAC pump and the squeaking wheels of a stretcher being wheeled down the hallway by various personnel. They were heading his way, and so he jumped out of the way and into an open door way.

Since he was Special Ops trained, nobody in the parade noticed that he was watching. Not even Janet Frasier who was walking down the hallway, clicking away in her high heels even as she was talking to her patient.

"When the biopsy's done, I'll talk to your daughter." She informed her patient.

There was a head bob from the patient, and then she made them stop the stretcher as she was fiddling around with a medication port. She quickly injected something into the port and asked the patient how he was feeling.

He mumbled something, and the doctor laughed. It was her "I'm trying to be upbeat even the prognosis is really bad" laugh, and Jack wondered who the patient was.

"Ok, gentleman, take good care of him. Don't let him stop for coffee on the way down and if he gets grouchy, ignore him."

A weak voice said, "I'm never grouchy… you got me confused with that other bald two star General. I'm an angel; **_George_** is the cranky one, especially if he doesn't have his morning coffee. I've seen him flip over a Jeep one time because they only had decaf."

Another laugh from Janet.

Shit! Her patient was **_Jake_**?

Jack peered out the doorway carefully, and he looked at Jake. The older man looked like he had been dragged down into the depths of hell by a horde of angry demons, chewed up and spit out. He had never seen Jake look that bad, even when he and Carter had dragged him through the gate to meet Selmak.

The stretcher continued one way, and Janet Frasier watched them leave. She gave her patient a little wave, and Jake returned it with a weak salute.

"Flatterer," she chuckled. "Blue skies."

"Blue skies," her patient answered.

Then after the stretcher was gone from view, Jack O'Neill realized that Janet Frasier was in tears.

"Damn it, I hate my job," she protested, as she stormed off down the hallway.

What was going on, Jack wondered. Naturally, nobody told him anything, so he'd have to find out.


	13. Time to Say Goodbye

_Time to say goodbye,  
To countries I never  
Saw and shared with you,  
Now, yes, I shall experience them,  
I'll go with you  
On ships across seas  
Which, I know,  
No, no, exist no longer;  
With you I shall experience them._

_Time to Say Goodbye – English Lyrics_

**_Story: _**The Untold True Life Adventures of Jacob Carter, The Very Model of a Modern Major General – Part 13

**_Rating: PG-13 _**Jake and Sel do curse a bit, and two souls get rather friendly.

_**Synopsis: **_

Jake Carter is out of remission while Selmak is dying. It's up to Jack O'Neill to salvage the situation that is rapidly spinning out of control. And Jack must not fail for the future of the universe is highly dependant not only on SG1 but also on a cranky Air Force General named Jake and a rather sarcastic, yet sassy, Head Snake called Selmak.

**_? Bold Italics ?_** Is when Selmak is thinking to Jacob so he can hear her.

This is the final chapter in the Modern Major General Series. Sel would like to thank all of you that muddled to the very bitter end of this story. Special thanks to Demon, for grammar betaing, JakeFanatic for comments and especially to Stephanie, Queen of the Nags who told me, that after working on my very first Stargate story for over a year, that it was long past time to finish it.

Yeah, that means, if you don't like this story, blame Stephanie.

* * *

Janet was sitting in her office, with the door only partially opened. It was a sign to her staff that while she was in, she'd prefer not to be interrupted unless it was a life and death emergency. She was busy charting Jacob's blood work, reviewing his stats, and attempting to decide what pharmaceutical cocktail might sustain and possibly prolong his life.

First of all, she shouldn't even be his doctor, as it violated her medical code of conduct, but Jake told her that if she didn't treat him, nobody would. She had protested, claiming that she was too close to him and he had insisted that she treat him. Janet had left messages for both Hammond and Samantha to see her as soon as they got in, which checking her watch, should be in another twenty minutes for Samantha, and George should be storming in at any moment.

Someone knocked at her door, and she sighed.

"One moment," Janet called, as she tried to put Jake's chart into a neat pile. She was still futzing around with it, when she heard someone plop into the chair in front of her desk.

"Morning," Jack O'Neill said.

_**Oh. CRAP!**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Colonel, good morning. I'm a little busy right now, so someone else can wrap your hand," she snapped.

"Actually I did it myself, I used some of those cool camouflage band aids, so I can go out on a mission," Jack said as he extended his hand toward her, showing off his neat handiwork.

"That's nice, Sir, but I'm a little busy right now," Janet protested. "If you don't have anything else to discuss, I'll have to ask you to leave."

Jack got up, closed the door and then turned to face Janet.

"Have a nice date with Jake? I understand Denver is very nice this time of year," O'Neill teased.

Doctor Frasier looked up from her paperwork, and she growled. "Yes."

"Yes, what?" O'Neill prompted. "Come on, give me all the details on your date."

"Denver is extremely nice at this time of year, and that's all you need to know, Colonel," she barked.

"Might touchy aren't we? Ok, Doc, what gives?" He questioned.

"Colonel, I really don't have time for questions on my social life," Janet protested as she continued staring at the paperwork on her desk. "I appreciate your concern, I'll let you know if and when Jake and I get married, but until then, it's none of your business. In fact, I don't think it is any of your business even if Jake and I do get married in a nice little ceremony, because you're not invited. Good day!"

"What's going on with Jake? He looks like hell," Jack informed her. "You're doing a biopsy on him?"

"No, in fact I am not doing a biopsy on him, as I am sitting in my office," the doctor stated. "He's just fine; we're just running some tests on him to increase our knowledge of post-repudiation hosts."

"Doctor, cut the crap. He's looks worse than he did when we dragged his sorry ass through the gate to meet Selmak," Jack protested. "What's going on?"

"Sir, it is none of your business, and even if it was, I couldn't tell you a thing due to Patient Confidentiality, you understand," Janet stated.

"Carter's my team member, I need to know," he protested.

"Jacob is none of your concern," the doctor retorted, her composure slipping slightly. "While I'm sure Jacob would greatly appreciate your concern if he was aware of it, I seem to recall that you two don't even like each other."

"I like Jake," Jack protested, because after a long sleepless night of thinking, he had decided, in fact, that he did like the old coot.

"Is it the End Times, and someone forgot to inform me?" The diminutive doctor questioned in a very sarcastic tone of voice. "I would have ordered more band aids."

"Next time, get the Camo ones, they're cooler," Jack inserted helpfully. "But, Doctor, what's going on?"

Fortunately, someone knocked on the door, and Janet was obviously grateful for the reprieve.

"Come," she said, sounding a bit like Jean-Luc Picard, Jack thought.

George Hammond stuck his head in, and questioned, "Am I interrupting something?"

Janet flashed the General her megawatt smile and said, "No, Colonel O'Neill was just leaving."

George entered, Jack was kicked out, and then the door was closed and then locked.

"Fine," Jack protested to the uncaring universe. "Be that way. I'll just have to find out on my own."

Jack nodded, and he began scoping out the environment, until he was nearly tackled by Samantha Carter. While being tackled by Captain Carter would have been a very pleasant way to start the day, O'Neill was glad that it was a near mishap.

Else he'd have to explain to George AND Jake what had happened.

"Sir! I didn't see you," she explained. "I'm sorry. Is Janet in there?"

"Yes, with General Hammond," he said to blank space, as Samantha had zipped over to the door, knocked the secret knock and had been admitted quickly into the inner sanctum.

"You know, a lesser man might get his ego bruised by all this rejection. Now, if I was a patient, and had stars on my shoulders, where would I be?" Jack paused for a moment, and remembered the one time George had ended up as a patient in the infirmary due a mishap involving Siler. It had been a rather scary four hours for Jack. He had been in charge, with Hammond incommunicado and Siler panicking about being demoted down to Airman.

"Three doors down and on the left," he said.

* * *

Jack left the infirmary, humming and then entered the hallway, where Teal'c and Daniel were waiting.

"What's going on? Sam had a message from Janet, and she ran down here," Daniel questioned.

"It's her father, he doesn't look good. They have Hammond and Carter in Frasier's office," Jack informed his team.

"Where did you see Jake?" Daniel questioned.

"They were wheeling him down in a stretcher. Something about a biopsy," Jack explained.

"His cancer's back?" Daniel looked surprised. "I thought Selmak fixed him."

"Selmak would not have left Jacob Carter ill," Teal'c inserted calmly.

Jack bit his lip from growling, but he did look annoyed.

"Well, they're doing a biopsy, T, so maybe the old lady missed something," Jack stated. "I don't think Jake's doing well. I think he's out of remission, and in fact, he's quite ill."

Daniel smiled tightly and then looked at Teal'c. "Fine, I'll bite."

He then looked at Jack and questioned O'Neill, "And why, pray tell, do you think that, considering that you don't have any concrete info?"

"It's the way Janet's acting. She's got that little laugh of hers, you know, the 'you're really yakked, but I'm trying to be upbeat' laugh," Jack explained, and then continued on louder when he saw his team's look of disbelief. "She was crying in the hallway, muttering about how much she hates her job."

Teal'c and Daniel looked at each other, and then looked at Jack.

"That's not good," Daniel agreed.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"We need to find out what's going on," Jack decided. Jake wasn't back yet from his biopsy more than likely – so Jack decided it was time to talk to a certain snake. "T – point. Follow me."

"What are we doing?" Daniel questioned, as he was a little worried about Jack. Like the good boy Daniel was and had always been, he knew that when Jack looked intent, that meant the entire team would be getting into trouble. "Are we doing something that will get Janet annoyed? We can just wait for Samantha to get out of the office."

Jack waved his fingers, to anyone not in the military, it would look like gibberish, but to the highly trained team of SG1, it meant something.

**_Shut up, follow me, don't ask any questions. _**

And Daniel realized that Jack had left out that single, solitary gesture which meant, "Hammond will be really annoyed with us for doing this".

* * *

Samantha Carter entered the room and looked at Janet and then at General Hammond. She took the chair closet to Hammond. He was upset, though trying to hide it, and Janet looked about the same.

"What's the problem with Dad?" Samantha questioned. "The cancer's back?"

Janet nodded mutely, before quickly rubbing her eyes, and Sam's heart froze.

"It's not good, is it?"

"His prognosis is… poor…" Janet explained slowly. "I'm sorry, Samantha, it's only a matter of time. Maybe hours… maybe a day or so."

Blinking in amazement, Samantha leaned back in her chair. Her father was dying? **_Again_**?

"I feel like I'm on an out-of-control roller coaster," she confessed. "What happened? He was fine, yesterday."

She felt Janet reach for her hands, and she was grateful for that support and when Hammond put his hands on top of Janet's.

"Your father seemed extremely healthy yesterday," Janet admitted.

Even though Samantha's mind was running in circles, screaming and shouting questions, Sam noticed that Janet was blushing ever so slightly.

"I mean, all his test results were fine. This morning, your father wanted to have a physical as he didn't feel well," Janet continued, her face regaining its normal color. "The test results came back bad, and the results got progressively worse."

"Where is he?" Hammond questioned. "I want to talk to him about yesterday."

Janet checked her watched, and made a mental calculation.

"Probably on the way back from his bone marrow biopsy, I called in the only oncologist that has the security level to be dealing with this, and she wanted a bone marrow biopsy. I hate to say this, but I think it's just a waste of time." Janet admitted that softly. "We talked before he went down to have the procedure done. Jake doesn't want any heroic measures. He just wants a death with dignity."

"I hold his power of attorney," George protested. "The symbiote is going back in."

Janet shook her head, and then, she took a tissue from her desk. Dabbing at her eyes, she explained that she already tried that tact with Jacob.

"He won't take Selmak back, as Jake is convinced that there's a host coming for her. I'm supposed to tell Selmak's new host that Jake went on vacation to Disneyland," Janet admitted shakily. "Apparently, Selmak always wanted to go to Disney."

* * *

Maybourne and Vidrine had also been scheduled for Jake's meeting with Hammond. Then Walt Davis had informed the two gentlemen that something had come up, and that George had a priority meeting.

"Is General Carter even in the building?" Vidrine questioned. "Or is this a feeble attempt by George to save Jacob's ass?"

Walt gave a weak smile, his eyes focused on Vidrine's three stars. "Sir, I do not know. Doctor Frasier requested a meeting with both General Hammond and Captain Carter."

Vidrine thanked Davis icily for the information and then informed him that it was his lucky day, as Davis was going to escort him down the infirmary.

* * *

Martouf and Lantesh were standing next to Selmak's tank, even while the Selmak hologram was complaining.

"I wanted a nice, simple death, why did you have to make it into such a production?" Selmak griped loudly. "Can't the Council get it through their heads, I'm committing suicide! It's my **_RIGHT_**! I'm doing this for Jacob's sake. Are you listening to me?"

Martouf ignored Selmak's hologram, and put several drops of medication into the tank.

The still symbiote in the tank was off-colored, and lying on the bottom on the tank, its head resting close to a rather water-logged rose. Every once in a while, it would move its tail or flick a flipper, perhaps even stretch its head closer to the rose, but mainly it did nothing.

"You're not listening to me," Selmak groused, as the hologram prodded Martouf in the back with Sorrentino's hook. For good measure, Selmak jabbed the uncomplaining Martouf a few more times, causing Martouf the martyr to wince slightly as Selmak took out her annoyance on him.

"You are a **_hologram_**, you are not **_Selmak_**," Lantesh finally snapped. "Will you stop prodding my host with that… **_attachment_**?"

"I am Selmak," Selmak snapped. "I was there when you were spawned, Lantesh. I held Martouf's hand when he blended with you. I was there when Martouf shot himself in the foot with a ZAT because of your reckless nature!"

That stopped Lantesh cold, and Martouf turned red. The moment in the training class hadn't been one of their finer moments.

"You may have Selmak's memories, but you do not speak for Selmak," Lantesh stated, trying a new tactic.

"YES, I DO SPEAK FOR SELMAK!" Selmak roared. "I'm dying, it'll be a matter of hours now, and I will be at peace. Why must you ruin it? Why must the council fight me on this?"

Unexpectedly, more people entered the room, and Selmak gazed heavenwards when she realized that it was O'Neill and his cronies. Behind them were the Vidrine. Fortunately the Maybourne was nowhere to be found.

"By the very blessed womb of Egeria, why is everyone against me today?"

* * *

Janet's phone rang and she grabbed it, after motioning for her visitors to be silent.

"Ok, ok… ok…" She sighed, before jotting down notes. Her face grew more and more serious, as she continued to write. "Valium, right? What else? What's the dosage? How long? Yes… Yes…yes… bring him up here. That's right… No, I don't want a cat scan. You heard me, I don't want one."

She put the phone down, and she sighed. Then the doctor rubbed her eyes, and her voice was shaky when she began to speak.

"Samantha, your father's in a coma. They gave him a local anesthesia for the biopsy, and he had a grand mal seizure before they could do the biopsy. Your father was given valium to break the seizure as he was Status epilepticus, which means he was having the seizures, one right after another, without a recovery period. Right now, he's in the post itical stage, which means, the seizures have stopped, but he's not responding. They wanted to do a cat scan, to see if the lymphoma had metastasized to the brain, but I think we need to have a serious conversation. General Hammond, you're listed as Jacob's health care proxy; I need to know what you want me to do as Jacob told me that he didn't want any heroic measures."

"First thing we do, is we put Selmak back into Jacob," Hammond growled. "Then when he's better, I'm kicking his goddamn ass to Dallas."

"Sir, I don't think Selmak is in any condition to heal Jacob," Janet Frasier stated slowly, trying to keep her composure. "Selmak is in the same condition, if not worse, than Jacob is in. I think we're going to lose both of them."

Sam nodded her head once, and then informed Janet that she wanted her father pain free and comfortable.

"No heroic measures," Samantha stated, even as George nodded his head in agreement. "But I want to see him when he comes back to his room. I want to be with him… until…"

Closing her eyes for just a second, Samantha nodded her head, and mouthed the words that she couldn't say.

"I want to be there also," General Hammond informed Janet.

"I understand," Janet Frasier said. "I want to be there also, if that's ok with you, Samantha?"

Samantha nodded once, and then the three of them walked slowly out of Janet's office, toward Jacob's room.

* * *

The hologram looked annoyed, and Jack didn't care. Instead, he bravely stuck his hand into the tank and grabbed Selmak. His rough handling of the symbiote earned him nothing more than a slight squiggle of annoyance from the moribund symbiote.

"What are you doing?" Selmak yelped. "Put me down! Unhand me, you fiend! Martouf! Are you going to just stand there and smile **_brightly_**? Do **_something_**! Stop smiling! Make him release me!"

"Or what? You'll bite me? Been there, done that, got the tetanus shot," O'Neill snapped. "Sorry to interrupt your little solo vacation, but you're going back into Jacob."

"No," Selmak protested. "I'm not. I'm **_dying_**. I repudiated Jacob to save him from being a Tok'Ra, and I will not allow anyone to put my Jacob through that hell again. I'm doing this for him."

For a moment, Jack O'Neill felt a small bit of compassion for the Tok'Ra Selmak. God help him for being a fool, but O'Neill could and would swear that the Head Snake was being extremely sincere about Jacob.

"Selmak, you have to go back," O'Neill informed the hologram. "Jake is ill."

The hologram laughed, much to O'Neill's amazement. Jack was so surprised that he released the symbiote.

"Jacob is in good health. I healed him. Every little damaged part of him, I fixed," Selmak stated. "I will not listen to your lies, because Jacob is healthy. I fixed him. He's very well right now. He's probably in better health now than he was twenty years ago. I fixed his arthritis; I made sure his cancer was gone. His heart, lungs and brains are all healthy. I fixed the damaged that his cancer and your cancer **_CURE_** did to Jacob. He's **_fine_**."

"Why would I lie? Answer me that?" Jack argued.

"You all have ulterior motives; I am the only one that has Jacob's best interests at heart. The Tok'Ra do not wish to lose their crutch. Your military does not want to lose their allies in the fight against the Goa'uld while Maybourne wishes to pay Jacob back for what happened in Japan. That is why he is here on this base, and I tell you now, Jacob will not let Maybourne take him to his headquarters," Selmak spat. "He also will not take any of my hosts either!"

Selmak smiled, and whispered something in Goa'uld.

"Oh no," Daniel stated in a worried tone. "Do you think, Selmak that was the right thing to do?"

"What did he just do, Danny?" O'Neill questioned.

"If Maybourne takes the device out of the mountain, it will self-destruct," Teal'c stated quietly.

"And take the mountain with him," Selmak said sweetly. "Right now, it is erasing my previous hosts' matrixes. Even if you stop the timer, the Maybourne will never be able to make the device work.

"Doctor Jackson, you will tell the Maybourne this. Assure him that it was Selmak who spoke," Selmak then spat off a long tirade in Japanese.

Daniel Jackson turned a sickly off white color and when Selmak finished the long winded conversation, Daniel mumbled, "I can see why Jake doesn't like Maybourne."

"Daniel?" Jack inserted. "I only caught a few things of that speech, mainly, 'Ha, ha, ha, I got you now, my pretty, and your little dog too!'."

Selmak rolled his eye and turned away from O'Neill and returned back to the tank.

"If anything happens to Jacob, both General Hammond and Sam will get the evidence that Jake has on Maybourne," Daniel translated. "That's all I'm allowed to tell you."

"Sweet," O'Neill commented, and then he turned serious. "I need to speak to Selmak, alone. Everyone out of the room, please."

Vidrine gave him a look full of promised retribution, and so, O'Neill quickly added a, "If you could leave also, General, I would appreciate it."

Staring at O'Neill for a long time, Vidrine finally nodded his head once, and motioned for everyone to leave the room. Everyone dutifully traipsed out, except for the Lt. General.

"What are you up to?" Vidrine questioned O'Neill.

"Jacob's ill, Selmak needs to go back into him, but I have to convince Selmak of my sincerity," O'Neill explained quietly.

"If Jake's so sick, why don't you just roll the tank down to his bedside, and put Selmak back in," Vidrine questioned.

"If I do that, Sir, no doubt Selmak will think that he is being put into another host against his will, and he might kill Jacob by mistake," O'Neill explained. "Besides, I'm not sure how we go about putting Selmak back into Jacob."

Well besides opening Jake's mouth, dropping the snake in and yelling, "Fire in the hole!" that is, and Jack was sure that there was much much more to the entire process than that.

"Very well," Vidrine agreed. "I'll go find George."

"He's probably with Jacob," O'Neill said helpfully. "Daniel will show you where."

* * *

Her father was wheeled back into his room by several orderlies, and there was only the steady beep, beep, beep of medical equipment. Jake was lying in the bed, his still frame looking lost among all the medical equipment. He was wearing an oxygen mask, and his eyes were closed. Janet hustled and bustled around her patient, checking various arcane pieces of medical equipment, her normally expressive face withdrawn and quiet.

Hammond spoke quietly to Samantha, "You know, your father was the craziest pilot I ever knew. Jake flew every plane as fast as he could, and did all these crazy stunts in the air. Nobody wanted to be his J.O. because they thought he had a death wish."

"I got stuck with him because I was the low man on the totem pole, because of a shakeup at my last assignment. One of these days, when the stars are in the proper alignment, I'll have to tell you about what happened at Cheyenne all those years ago, but I ended up in Florida. Fortunately, we hit it off very well, and I finally asked him why he had to be so aggressive in the air. You know what he told me?"

"What, Sir? What did my father say," Samantha question, more out of ingrained sense of politeness.

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, George, in a well preserved body, but rather to skid-in-sideways, totally worn out, shouting... '_YEEE HAAAAA... what a ride_!'," George explained.

Samantha laughed softly, "Yeee Haaaaa… what a ride it's been. It's too bad that we hit a lot of turbulence on our flight."

"Yee haaa, Jake, what a fucking ride it's been," Hammond said softly. "What a ride."

Then Harry Maybourne entered the room, and gave Samantha Carter a chilling smile.

"I'm here to collect the body," he stated. "When Jake's dead, his body is to be released to me."

* * *

"Talk until you're blue, O'Neill, I will not listen to you," Selmak snapped. "I am tired of your mindless prejudice."

The hologram sat down in a chair that was next to the tank.

"Soon, it will be soon, and Jacob will understand my last gift to him," whispered Selmak. "It is fitting that at the end, I will die alone, for I have been alone for so many years."

O'Neill mentally growled as he thought Selmak needed a few anti-depressants and a good swift kick in the symbiote ass.

_Did Symbiotes even have asses?_

"Listen to me, Jacob is **_ill_**, Selmak," Jack stated loudly.

"I will not listen to your lies anymore," Selmak stated even louder.

"I am not lying to you, Selmak, I am telling you the truth. For example, you are the biggest fucking pain in the ass I know, with the possible exception of myself," O'Neill said intently. "But you've always wanted the best for Jacob."

Selmak stared at the tank, ignoring him, except Jack realized that Selmak couldn't… and wouldn't… tune him out completely because… Selmak cared too much for Jacob.

"Selmak, I saw him today," Jack explained. "He was in a hospital bed, and he was being taken down to Minor Procedure room as they were going to do a biopsy on him."

"They're just so amazed that he's so healthy," Selmak protested. "That's why they're running all those tests. Because I fixed him."

Selmak unexpectedly stood up and faced O'Neill. His blue eye was blazing with emotion and he put his hook in Jack's face.

"I **_FIXED_** HIM! HE IS **_HEALTHY_**!" Selmak roared. "I did this for his sanity; I will not listen to your lies. I know you, you try to twist things, and inflict pain on my Jacob. First with your words and your disrespect, now you wish to have me blend with Jacob again so you can watch his misery. LIES! **_I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR LIES!"_**

"Lies? Selmak, he's sick," Jack retorted. "If he's healthy, why hasn't he visited you today? It must be symbiotic visiting hours? Wouldn't Jake be here, next to your tank, if he was healthy?"

"He's tired," Selmak answered quickly. "He and Janet were out on a date last night. He got in late, and so he's with her, rather than visiting me. I approve of Janet; I think she'll be good for him. I would have liked to have known how the date went, but Jake's a very private soul, perhaps he does not feel comfortable telling me about his date. He will stop by later, and tell me all about it. I will listen to him, and then I will be able to shuffle off this mortal coil as my work here is done."

Selmak began talking to himself, even as Jack tried to find some sort of way to convince Selmak that he wasn't lying to him.

"To die- to sleep. To sleep- perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub! For in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause. Egeria, Blessed, Sainted Egeria, I am tired of this fight, I willingly lay down my arms and pray for peace at the end," the hologram whispered.

Janet.

Jake.

**_Dating_**.

Selmak had been positively verbose when talking about Janet. What was that shit that Martouf was always talking about? **_We live as one, we love as one. _**

That meant… JANET would be SELMAK'S WEAK SPOT?

"Selmak," Jack paused, trying to find the right words. "Janet was crying in the hallway after they wheeled Jake away."

That stopped Selmak dead in his tracks.

"You are mistaken," Selmak insisted softly.

Selmak doesn't sound very certain, Jack thought, as he finally found Selmak's Achilles' heel. And he was going to pound on the chink in Selmak's armor until he won the war.

"Jake looked extremely ill," Jack explained again, sounding like a broken record. "She was **_crying_**, Selmak. Not tears of joy, Selmak, tears of grief."

For a long, long moment, Selmak just stared at Jack and then he asked, "Why should I believe you? You do not like my Jacob and you despise my kind. You view me as a parasite; I think you would be cheering the loudest if Jake and I died."

O'Neill bit his lip and then pointed at Selmak, before speaking the truth, "If you die, I will never be able to forgive myself. I will blame myself for your deaths until the day I die, and I will also blame myself for obliterating the alliances between our two people."

"You'll get over it," Selmak retorted. "Probably before even you leave the base, it will have slipped from your little mind."

"No, I won't," Jack paused and realized how insane this entire situation was. He was this close to laughing and crying.

"Selmak, my son died a long time ago. He shot himself with my own damn gun. No one to blame but myself…no one. If Jake dies, and you die, that's more blood on my hands, and there will be no one else to blame except for myself," Jack stated with a quiet dignity.

Selmak stared in O'Neill's eyes, looking for something. Then he stepped back from O'Neill, and the hologram looked horrified.

"Jacob? Have I harmed you?"

And Selmak wept.

* * *

"WHAT?" Hammond spat. He was furious about the arrogance of Maybourne, but more annoyed at himself, because he should have seen this coming.

"He's not even dead yet, Maybourne," Samantha yelped. "His body isn't even cold."

"Forgive me for being blunt, but I wanted to make sure that you didn't make any arrangements for your father," Maybourne explained. "What happens was a few months ago when your father was dying, he made arrangements to donate his body to science. We'll be taking his body. I'll start making the arrangements."

"Over my dead body," Hammond said in a very dangerous tone of voice.

Maybourne shrugged his shoulders, "You know, in spite of what that mouthy hologram says, I do respect your father, Captain Carter, even in spite of our differences on that Japanese matter. I hope that you'll inform me of when the ceremony on Arlington will be held, as I'll want to be there to pay my respects."

George moved quickly, and prevented Samantha from decking Maybourne. **_Accidentally_**, he blocked Maybourne from her advances, and then George smiled at Maybourne.

"Permission to return to your quarters until such time as you're needed to collect the body is hereby granted. Go now, before I have you escorted," George growled.

Maybourne, not one to back down easily, stood on his toes to look over George's shoulders. He smiled at Samantha, and before he spoke, he was interrupted by Janet Frasier.

"We'll do the autopsy here, General. We have the equipment, we'll do it," Janet insisted.

"I'm afraid that's not acceptable," Maybourne insisted. "What with your… **_close_**…shall we say, **_intimate_**… relationship with the General, Doctor, I'm sure you'd understand why the NID wouldn't want you to do the autopsy."

Then Maybourne left quickly even as George prevented Janet from belting Maybourne. It was a good thing he was surrounded by all these hot-headed junior officers, as preventing them from slugging Maybourne had kept HIM from slugging Maybourne.

He turned to face Janet, who was fuchsia, and Sam, who was looking at her best friend in some confusion.

"You and my … father?" Sam questioned.

Janet nodded her head, and Sam smiled.

"I'm glad, Janet," Sam assured her and then the two ladies hugged each other tightly, while George pondered the situation in his head.

Jake? Janet? Knocking the Boots? Good God! When did that little relationship happen? During their wild cross-country adventure apparently, but George would have sworn that Jake was too busy having a breakdown to go a courtin'.

* * *

Janet Frasier took Jacob's hand in hers, and talked to him. Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't in any condition to answer. He wasn't brain dead yet, but he was Cheyne-Stokesing. God, Janet hated the sound of that type of respirations. Jake's breathing would start off deeply and slowly, and then increase into rapid, shallow respirations. Then he'd stop for a bit, and the bizarre pattern would begin anew when he gasped for breath.

"Hearing is the last thing that goes, Samantha," Janet reminded. "Talk to him. But I just want to tell him something first."

Janet held onto his hand tightly and bent over to Jake's ear.

"Thank you for last night," she whispered. "You were incredible."

She stood up, trying to ignore Hammond's questioning eyebrow that was doing a very credible impersonation of Mr. Spock's.

"I love you, Dad." Sam whispered.

Hammond had already said his last words to Jake, a barely heard mumble of words that ended with a quiet, "Yeee Haaaa, what a goddamn ride."

"Captain? Tell your father he can go now," George suggested. "Tell him that he'll meet up with your mom and my wife."

Samantha wiped her eyes, and she nearly broke down into sobs when George patted her shoulder.

"Dad… It's me… Sam…." She whispered. "You can…"

The door to the room opened with a bang, and Jack O'Neill stepped in. He was holding something in his hands, a wet, slippery something that barely moved.

"Jesus H. Christ!" Hammond roared. "Get out!"

"Take the mask off," O'Neill ordered. "Selmak's going back in. Janet, Selmak says you have to start bagging him when he's back inside Jake. Keep his heart going and keep him breathing, and Selmak's going to try and fix him."

"Selmak?" Janet questioned.

Hammond pulled the mask away from Jake's face, and he put his fingers into Jake's mouth to pry Jake's jaw apart. O'Neill put his hand over Jake's open mouth and carefully placed Selmak into Jake's mouth. The symbiote seemed dazed for a bit, and then it slowly oozed down Jake's throat.

"Fire in the hole!" O'Neill called out, trying to display a confidence he didn't possess.

"I thought Selmak was dying?" Hammond questioned, even as Janet began bagging Jake to help him breath.

"He is, but he's going to try and fix Jake," O'Neill explained. "It'll be his final act."

* * *

After an hour or so, Janet pulled General Hammond and Sam away from Jake's bedside.

"We need to talk," Janet explained. Her voice was tired and she looked like she had been dragged fifty feet. The circles under her eyes had additional circles. "Jacob's breathing has stabilized, and he's a little stronger than he was."

"What about Selmak?" Sam questioned.

"He's really weak; he's barely showing up on the scans that Martouf has run. Lantesh says it's absolutely amazing that Jake and Selmak are both alive, but it's no doubt to Selmak and Jacob's stubbornness. I want to put Jacob-Selmak on a vent. Right now they're spending all their energy on just breathing, and they're getting exhausted."

"How difficult will it be to get Jacob off the vent if something goes wrong?" Hammond questioned.

Janet rattled off different scenarios and George nodded his head once.

"Put him on it, and let's hope that the extra time will allow Selmak to fix him," Samantha agreed. "Besides, if he's on a vent, Maybourne can't get him."

* * *

One week later:

He was floating in darkness, and he was alone. Except he heard crooning.

Yes. Definitely crooning.

A couple trills, plus a warble and then the soft, comforting, unceasing crooning.

Flashes of memories, a veiled woman who hummed that melody.

**_HELLO?_** He thought. **_IS THERE SOMEONE IN HERE WITH ME?_**

The soft humming continued, but he thought that the voice sounded happier. Yes, there were a few more trills and then a run of notes, and then an all encompassing wave of overpowering tenderness and affection.

He was still floating in the darkness, and he felt increasingly tired. There was a name, he should know it….

_**SEL?**_

_**

* * *

**_

_I'm wild again, beguiled again  
A simpering, whimpering child again  
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i_

_Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep  
When love came and told me, I shouldn't sleep  
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i_

_Lost my heart, but what of it  
He is cold, I agree  
He can laugh, but I love it  
Although the laugh's on me_

_Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered_

Jake was in full dress uniform, and he was dancing with a blonde woman who was slightly taller than he was. She had blue eyes as depthless as the unfathomable ocean, and she wasn't smiling. No, even though the two of them were ballroom dancing, twirling and swirling in a syncopated rhythm, the woman wasn't smiling.

No, she had tears in her eyes.

Flashes of memories, he had taken lessons with Annie, because Annie had insisted on it. But Jake wasn't dancing with Annie. He twirled her, and the woman spun out gracefully, her blonde hair swinging. Kay had always liked dancing… Mara had also.

Kay? Annie? Mara? He should know these names, but he couldn't think why he should know them.

The music changed, and he pulled her back to him. Jake looked into her blue eyes, and he shook his head.

"I know you, shouldn't I?" He questioned her.

She nodded once.

"Don't cry," Jake requested. "Please, don't cry. Just tell me what the problem is."

The woman stopped dancing, and she shook her head. She moved, as though to flee from him, and he refused to let her go. Jake held onto her right hand tightly, knowing that he was holding her too hard, but that he couldn't let her go, as she'd run.

"You're not running away, Sel," he protested. "You run, I'll find you. You leave, I'll track you down."

The woman was stronger than she looked, as she ripped her hand free from his. The clock started striking midnight, and she ran toward the steps. He was following her, and then she kicked off a shoe and she deliberately threw it at him.

The brat aimed perfectly, as she clocked him in the head with a spiky high heeled shoe.

"Was it this?" Jake snapped. "Sel-erella? I'm not gonna be your Prince Charming, Sel."

* * *

_"_The EEG says that your father's dreaming," Janet informed Samantha. "That's a good sign that his brain is functioning."

"But it's been a week, and he's still on the vent," Samantha protested.

"Selmak's still quite weak, and so is your father, but the Naquadrah-enhanced lymphoma seems to be growing smaller. His blood counts are better. The only thing I can counsel is patience, Samantha," Janet explained.

"Come on, Dad, you're not Sleeping Beauty, Janet's not going to wake you with a kiss," Sam told her father's still form, ignoring Janet's hiss of protest.

"Well, your father is no Prince Charming," Janet retorted.

* * *

___I've sinned a lot, I'm mean a lot  
But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot  
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i_

___I'll sing to him, each spring to him  
And worship the trousers that cling to him  
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i_

___When he talks, he is seeking  
Words to get, off his chest  
Horizontally speaking, he's at his very best_

___  
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  
_

Jake was lying in bed, and he wasn't alone. No, there was a blonde woman in his arms. He was stroking her long blonde hair, and she sighed when he kissed her on her forehead.

"Selmak?" He questioned, as he was beginning to make sense of the assorted mish-mash of dreams he was experiencing. "My memories are swiss-cheesed. I've got mine, and I've got ALL of yours now… and I'm dreaming bits of you and me."

Selmak nodded her head, and cuddled closer.

"You're back?" Jake questioned.

She nodded once.

"Why?

"Wanted to go to Disney," she explained.

Jake knew that he should be furious with her, pissed off that she ruined his perfectly planned death, and most importantly… he should be really furious that she had lied to him about the fact that there was another host for her.

"My God, Sel, we finally did it, didn't we?" He questioned.

"Yes," Selmak answered. "We've achieved a thorough blending."

Jake continued stroking her hair, and he kissed her again. Damn it, he was such a softie since he met with Selmak, as he was near tears. She was willing to die for him, and she had put her life on hold to save his life yet again.

"What now, dear? What now?" he questioned.

"I can go somnolent," Selmak explained. "Then in about a hundred or so years, I'll wake up and try to find a new host."

"Not acceptable," he said sternly, which earned a sad look from Selmak. "If I go to Disney, and get on Space Mountain, I want you screaming your fool head off along with me. Besides, you need to get a set of ears."

Selmak laughed, and then he laughed.

He felt better then, as he knew that everything was going to be alright.

* * *

Two weeks later –

Jake woke up, and he realized that he was restrained to a hospital bed, and there were tubes in all sorts of unpleasant places. There was someone sitting by his bedside, and he tried to focus on him.

Wasn't Sam.

Too much hair to be George.

Oh no… it_ ****__wasn't_…

"DAD!" Jack shouted, before he jumped out his chair and began yelling down the hallway. "He's **awake**! Everybody…JAKE'S AWAKE!"

_****__?Good God, Jacob Carter, if Jack O'Neill's your son, I think I'm going to log a protest somewhere. Where the hell is my poison pen?_

___SELMAK? You're BACK? It wasn't a dream after all? Those conversations I had with you? The ball room dancing? _

_****__?The closing on my new duplex fell through. So I had to move all my stuff back into your head. Do you mind?_

Underneath that teasing tone of voice, Jake realized that Selmak was extremely worried. He had a mental image of a blonde hair woman looking at him intently, biting her lip nervously.

Memories fragments filled his mind, an argument with George. Vidrine had been here? Maybourne? Ball room dancing? A poker game where Selmak and he had been bluffing each other?

___What happened? No flippant answers, Selmak. Everyone said that you didn't have a new host, but you did, didn't you? What happened to her? Did they find her a symbiote?_

The blonde woman looked worried, and scuffed her feet in nervous apprehension.

___Selmak? We're talking easier now._

Selmak gave him a dazzling smile, and then Jake realized the truth.

___NO HOST? YOU LIED TO ME. IT WASN'T A BAD DREAM!_

The little devious head snake that she was, artlessly filled her big blue eyes with tears, and began to sniff.

___Cut the fake tears, Sel. It ain't gonna fly with me!_

_****__?I did it for your own good! You were unhappy?_

Selmak then shared everything with him, including the surprising fact that O'Neill had been the one to convince Selmak that he was dying and how O'Neill had brought Selmak to Jake in the very nick of time.

___O'Neill?_

_****__?Yes, O'Neill. He's mellowed a bit. After I bit him thirty seven times, he realized that I had a point, besides a sharp set of teeth.?_

Selmak then made a sound akin to a Great White Shark attacking its prey, and Jake decided that he'd really have to watch what Selmak viewed on late night TV._****__  
_

___O'Neill?_

___**?Yes?**_

___O'Neill?_

_****__?YES! AMAZING AIN'T IT?_

___**O'NEILL!**_

_****__?Look Jake! You've got company, so I'm going to close my eyes now and let you visit with your friends. Love you Carter?_

___Sel, if I had woken up and found out the truth, I would have been so angry with you._

_****__?But you would have known that I did it for you out of love, so you wouldn't be angry with me forever. Now, when you're done chatting with everyone, I want to know all about your hot date with JANET. She's been very bubbly lately. Did you get lucky? You must have – you're BLUSHING?_

___SELMAK! YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT HAPPENED AS YOU'VE BEEN RUMMAGING THROUGH MY MEMORIES!_

_****__?Am I going to be an auntie?_

___SELMAK!_

___

* * *

_

___Vexed again, perplexed again  
Thank god, I can be oversexed again  
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am i_

_Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered____  
_

It took a while for Jake and Selmak to get their strength back, but in time, Jake and Selmak had to return back to the Tok'Ra tunnels. He stopped by to see Janet before he left, and he gave her a tentative smile.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi," Janet answered. "Let's go into my office, shall we?"

Janet closed the door to her office quickly, and she sat on the edge of her desk.

"You're leaving," she sighed.

"Yes, I need to get back," Jake explained.

Awkwardness descended, like a gift from the Gods. Both wanting to say something, but neither one sure of what the other one would think. Then Janet asked to speak with Selmak. Selmak came to the fore, and smiled gently at Janet.

"You take good care of him," Janet ordered.

"I will," Selmak assured her. "We have to get back to the tunnels. I'm sure Ka and Xy have stolen all my blankets and pillows, and sold them to the highest bidder. I'll be spending the next fortnight tracking my stuff."

Janet laughed, even as Selmak sighed dramatically, and muttered, "Children!"

Then Janet leaned forward and kissed Selmak on the mouth. Selmak was a little surprised by Janet's boldness, but then Selmak kissed Janet back, ignoring Jake's mental growls of protest, as Selmak was busy kissing Janet as well as she could.

The two of them were still kissing when Selmak let Jake come to the forefront. Janet and Jake continued to kiss, even while Selmak began playing with Jake's blood chemistry.

Jake then stopped kissing Janet, and growled, "Selmak?"

Janet watched bemused, as Jake tried to talk with his symbiote.

"I keep getting a message that Sel's out right now, but to please leave a message and she'll get back to me," Jake groused. "Then she ruins it by laughing."

That thought caused Janet to laugh loudly. Then she smiled brightly at Jake.

"The reason why I kissed Selmak was not to make you jealous," Janet purred. "But I wanted to let you know that I understand that Selmak's part and parcel of who you are. You live as one, and you love as one. I want both of you to come back safe to me."

"I can't promise you anything," Jake protested.

"Did I ask?" Janet questioned softly. "I don't remember asking."

"I'll be back, as soon as I can," Jake promised.

The two of them kissed some more and then Jake broke apart from her.

"Selmak?" Janet questioned.

"Yes, she's suggesting that I seem a little weak and that you might want to perform a hands-on physical exam again," Jake sighed. "I'm not sure about that…"

"What, you're unsure about having sex with me with Selmak onboard?" Janet questioned evilly.

Jake nodded quickly.

"I'm ok with that, just don't have Selmak bring George into it again," Janet stated innocently. "Sleeping with two-two star Generals and an alien would be nerve-wracking for me."

"I'm retired," Jake protested.

They kissed some more and then Jake stopped.

"We've got to go, Selmak," he protested. "Stop protesting. God, it's like having a three year old in my head."

Janet laughed even as Jake sighed.

"Walk you to the Gateroom," she suggested.

"I'd like that, very much," he agreed.

Martouf and Lantesh were standing in the Gateroom, earnestly conversing with Samantha.

_****__?What do you think of Marty and Lantesh and your daughter_? Selmak questioned_. ****__?I think Martouf is interested. ?_

Sure enough, Martouf appeared stricken when he noticed that Sam's father was watching him closely. He flushed and then he smiled brightly.

_****__?God, save me from the gleam?_ Selmak inserted.

Fortunately, SG1 was standing nearby so Jake could face them instead of the guilty looking Martouf.

"See you around," Jake said. "Thank you for everything, Daniel, Teal'c."

Daniel laughed and shook Jake's hand, and Teal'c gave Jacob an elegant nod of his head.

Jack cleared his throat, and gave Jake a meaningful shrug as if to say, "What you're not giving me any thanks?"

Jake took Jack's hand, and examined it. Selmak's bites had faded nicely into faint scars.

"Next time you want to be a smart ass, take a look at your hand and remember what Selmak does to smart asses."

Jack deflated almost immediately. Jake laughed, and George gave him a sour look.

"Selmak's being funny," Jake explained.

___**?AM NOT! LIAR?**_

_"_Jacob," George said softly.

"George," Jacob answered in the same tone of voice. "Thanks for putting up with me and Selmak. Appreciate all your help."

"Had to, Jacob," drawled one of Jacob's closest friends in the Universe.

"As no one else would put up with our shit," the two of them answered at the same time.

George turned and faced the control room. He gave Davis a head nod and then Davis opened the wormhole.

Then Jake hugged his daughter goodbye, assured her that he loved her and he tried not to get misty eyed when he realized that Sam was crying.

_****__?All she ever wanted was your approval, Jake.?_

"I'll be back soon," he promised. "I have to see if the Tok'Ra High Council will forgive me for being a pain in the ass."

Sam laughed, and said, "Hurry back, Janet's gonna miss you."

Jake then laughed and shook his head. Then he turned to face Martouf and Lantesh.

"Age before beauty," he said.

Martouf was staring at him in confusion, even as Selmak began giggling.

_****__?It'll take him weeks to figure that one out! Tee hee. And he'll never be sure that he got the meaning right, but he'll be too embarassed to ask you! Hahahahahahah?_

Then Jacob-Selmak stepped on the gate. Taking a deep breath, Jake then proceeded to walk to the wormhole, leaving his old life behind. Without cracking a smile, he realized that Martouf was still standing next to Samantha, trying to figure out what the Tau'ri Tok'Ra had met by THAT comment.

___Love you Sel._

_****__?Love you Carter.?_

And then he stepped into his new life.

_****__?Watch out Goa'uld! Jacob and Selmak have blended. We'll be kicking ass and taking names?_

___Ooo. you make me live  
whatever this world can give to me  
It's you, you're all I see  
Ooo, you make me live now honey  
Ooo, you make me live  
You're the best friend  
that I ever had  
I've been with you such a long time  
You're my sunshine  
And I want you to know  
That my feelings are true  
I really love you   
You're my best friend_

___You're my Best Friend - Queen_


End file.
